what do i do if i think my son is being sexually abused and cps or the father are not trying to help

Angela - posted on 02/04/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

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i finally got my son back after his father abducted him for 2 months and now hes showing signs of some kind of abuse....i took him to the er and made reports with cps and nothing is being done to help me or my 2 year old son! he had bruises on his butt and his reaction to a normanl diaper change was an extreamly shocking! he has other signs as well but his father and i have joint custody and his dad works all day n wont tell me who watches him, iv expressed all of this to cps and still they say and i quoat, "we,ll have to wait and see if this a reacuring issue' WTF!!!!!!!! soif something is happing just wait for more physical evidence being as they did no test to prove it the first time? what do i do? who can help me and my son when cps and the justem system fails?

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Christy - posted on 02/07/2011

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Document EVERYTHING in writing. Make a journal, and stay neutral, no opinions. The bruising, your son's behavior that is out of the norm, the calls you have made to CPS, names of people you talked to, times, dates, etc. Get copies of the DR's medical records on your son, EVEN IF IT SHOWS NO EVIDENCE OF ABUSE. If you talk to a lawyer, note everything you're told. Also without getting too graphic (as some may see it) photograph the bruises and make sure there's a date on the photos.



My question is, why does he still have joint custody if he abducted him for 2 months? Was the law involved in getting him back? If so this is grounds for terminating the joint custody (in most cases). You would have to go back to court to get it adjusted.



Good luck.

Dora - posted on 02/04/2011

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What ever you do don't stop keep calling CPS even if you have to call them everyday. Also file reports with the police. If you have to contact politicians and the new media. Don't let the abuse continue because it is going to destroy your child. It is a difficulty battle but the key is to keep fighting. Make a huge stink about it until people get tired of hearing from you and decide to investigate in order to get you to stop nagging. NAG NAG NAG!!!! Here is a link that may help you: http://www.childhelp.org/pages/hotline and http://www.dss.mo.gov/cd/can.htm
I pray this is not happening to your son. My heart goes out to you.

Amber - posted on 02/04/2011

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Do you have an attorney? I suggest you get one girl. I work for prepaid legal.. I don't know if I can give you that info on here or not, but you are more than welcome to write me to get the info.. this is your child, and his future, and let me tell you something.. My oldest son, who is 16 now, remembers what happen to him.. and he was 3. So, do what you need to do for your child.. F*CK what everyone else says.

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Amanda - posted on 11/23/2011

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did you ever get answers? becuase i went to the hospital tonight and they said he shows know signs of sexual abuse but to remove him from his day care. i feel lost. hes 2 as wewll/

Krissy - posted on 02/07/2011

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I honestly thought that a parent that abducted a child can be legally barred from any unsupervised visitation. You might be able to just prove the father is a flight risk and approach it that way.

Cassandra - posted on 02/07/2011

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i think having him evaluated is the right thing to do. try to find a child psycholosist that specializes in childhood traumas. i am praying for you and your little boy. i hope that somebody wises up and gives you and your son the help he needs. message me if you need someone to talk to. i am praying for you.

Abby - posted on 02/07/2011

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here's the horrible thing...no one CAN do anything without physical signs. And unfortunately, to them, your story is just heresay. I would continue to exhaust all of your options and keep at them over and over. Do go to the pediatrician. Gather all the evidence you can. Take pictures, video, whatever you can to build your case.In the meantime, i agree with others about pursuing the legal side of this with the child's father. Do whatever you can to keep your child with you. Good luck. This is a horrible situation.

Lisa - posted on 02/04/2011

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It sucks... My child came home with blood in his nappy... I was told the same thing. If the signs r there and they are obvious dont mess around. Stop contact. If the father wont comment that sounds abit suspicious in itself. It is easy for someone to say that when it isnt their child and they are just talking law and medical factors. You know your child if somethings isnt right get him away from it. Luckily my son had worms and no1 had told me u r supposed to worm ur child every 6 mnths... They have to say this to you beacuse their is no proof otherwise but if your more concerned about ur childs safety right now then putting the guy away or finding out what is happeneing just keep him away from them and get a lawyer. Maybe it is time to go to court for full custody.

Dora - posted on 02/04/2011

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I have one more idea for you that I just thought of. Take your son to see his pediatrician immediately. If the doctor finds any evidence of physical abuse or sexual abuse by law they will have to report it immediately and an investigation is started.

Amber - posted on 02/04/2011

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WHOA.. wtf. You know what, that crap pisses me off. I know how you feel, except I didn't know it was going on with my son, (at the time which was in 2000) and the turn out was, they took my kids away from ME, and the SOB is STILL FREE. It was my ex.. anyway.. I would push.. keep nagging them. Holy crap that sucks.. I am so sorry.

Jennifer - posted on 02/04/2011

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I feel your pain! The justice system has let me down so many times, and when we thought my ex was sexually abusing my then 2-year-old, there was nothing I could do. Not even getting a lawyer helped. The only thing that worked out for us, was that my ex ended up in prison ( for theft and CHILD PORN) and he didn't try to make contact with my kids or attempt to pay any child support for over a year, so my husband was able to adopt them. I wish you all the best, because I know how you are dying inside when the court tells you that you have to send your child to a man you think is abusing him, and you can't do anything to stop it.

Kim - posted on 02/04/2011

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I would take the child to have him evaluated immediately. I don't understand how you have joint custody if he was abducted by his father or why CPS is not already involved bc of the "abduction". I would call the police and ask them to intervene, find out who watches your son, and until then he wouldn't be allowed to visit his father and hire an attorney immediately.

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