what to do about my three year old smart mouth

Debra - posted on 01/04/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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ok so i have a three year old for Example like today i asked her seems like hundred times to pick her room all she does is back talk me what can i don about that cant spank her tail every now and then i might pop her mouth but not even hard enough to make her really cry she has just gotten so bad about it at times like today i took her T.V. away for a week told her till she start to listen and do as i tell her see will not get it back and well she didn't like that but if any one is going though this please help me before it gets worse i don't know what to do

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Helen-Marie - posted on 01/13/2010

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Try making a bottle of "Sassy Spray". Take a clean spray bottle, add a couple tbsp of vinegar and fill the rest with water. Spray her mouth every time she talks back. She'll learn pretty quickly! You can also use lemon juice instead of vinegar, but the ratio of lemon/water will be greater than vinegar/water.
Good luck!

Natalie - posted on 02/26/2010

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"Sassy Spray" has to be the best idea so far, as long as you don't mind spending money on theropy for your child when she gets older and starts believing that she is actually the family cat.

Erin - posted on 01/11/2010

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it's a hard stage, I remember my lovely 5 year old was a stroppy 3 year old so firstly you have my sympathy and support! the top 3 best pieces of advice i received were the 'ask, tell, act' rule so once I would request something like room tidying for example, then if it wasnt done I would repeat the request but as a command, then if it still wasnt complied with I would put her in her room unitl she was ready to do as she was told. This was great because it's over and done with in a few minutes and I would not have lost it by this point yet!!!
Secondly any command from across the room would be ignored but getting right up close and down to her eye level made me obviously very powerful and she would scurry to do my bidding! sounds kind of nuts but it really works.
Thirdly, deal with the first three issues of the day swiftly and generally the boudaries would be established and the rest of the day would go smoothly.
Good luck and stay calm!

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Alex - posted on 02/25/2010

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It takes two to Tango here. She might give up talking back if no one is listening. I suggest make tidying up her room fun. Lead by example and turn it into a game with a reward. Positive rewards rather than taking things away like TV is likely to get the results you want. Best of luck.

Jessica - posted on 02/25/2010

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yes I am going through the same thing with my 3 1/2 yr old son, so don't feel bad. and I also don't know what to do. I say things 50 million times to him and he just talks back all the time. I am yelling or screaming at him all the time and i don't want to do that anymore. So yes I know what you are going through. It is hard.

Rebecca - posted on 02/25/2010

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I have found that you have to give warnings. Please pick up your toys. I do this 3 times. Then if it has worked through to her. I tell my daughter that if I have to pick up the toys, I will throw them in the garbage. Then I get a garbage bag and wait to see if she will pick up. It works, she knows I will toss them out. We do this about once a week and in between she picks up her toys. It also works to set up guide lines similar to this in everything, Like picking out clothes, if you don't I will after a number (3 to 4) warnings. Then follow through. I have tried spanking with no results. It just doesn't work and you feel bad afterward. as for other attitude, what you say and do is she will respond.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/24/2010

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.Make cleaning the room fun thing to do .. Play music have fun help her...example matching shoes help at first see how many matches she can find . Help her count the toys as she picks them up!

Heather - posted on 02/24/2010

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ok so i have a 3 year old daughter that will not listen for anything. i have tryed to take things away and time out, nothing works! i ask her to pick up her toy shes tells me NO or jut acts like she cant hear me. i repeat can you please clean up your toys or im going to throw them away, she comes back with ok throw them away! just a butt sometimes! how do i get her to listen without me going nuts first? i hate feeling like i have to tell her over and over just because she doesnt care to listen. please someone help!

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I feel you there, My almost 4 year old is the same way. I have tryed different things too. But nothing seems to work for me. It is hard with picking up cause of my 2 year old daughter who just drags everything back out. He is always getting smart about everything i say to him or when he wants me to do something for him. I need help too.

Zoe - posted on 01/10/2010

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three year olds are desperate for boundaries. be firm, be consistent and use discipline. my 5 year old went from a sweet 2yo to a horrible, rude 3yo. giving time out, removing toys as punishment and praising/rewarding good behaviour brought him round, and now he won an award at school for good behaviour and "being a good role model to his peers".
its really hard but those first few years make all the difference. give your child a firm set of boundaries and, though they may stray as they get older, they will remember and live life as you show.

Keri - posted on 01/09/2010

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I am having the same problem. My daughter is biting, scratching me, throwing stuff, and talking back when told not to do something. I have no clue how to change her attitude cause nothing I do is working!

Valerie - posted on 01/04/2010

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i would love to help...there is power i the words you speak...your little girl will learmn more from what is modelled to her...she is asking you for boundaries...ask her in simple short sentences for what you want: (name) I need you to use yur responsiibility and pick up your toys now. If she doesn't start to pick them up. Repeat the sentence and then add or I will have to pick them up and put them away until tomorrow. Then if she doesn't respond start to pick them up one by one starting with the one you think she will miss the most...ideally put them up high in sight but out of reach...it might take a few but she will start to pick up...if she doesn't then pick them all up and put them where she can't have them until tomorrow. stay calm and gentle as you let her know that she can have them back tomorrow and have another chance to be responsible...if she starts to help today then acknowledge her effort. (name) I can see your responsibility in picking up your toys. thank you for being helpful...when you use words that describe the reason not just the action you begin to awaken those gifts of character like helpfulness, responsibility, obedience...always stay calm and model the tone, language, level of respect that you would like to receive...they learn from what you do and say...as to the spanking or popping on the mouth...i would stop as it will only make things worse...if the tv is distracting her from picking up you can say , I need your responsibility to pick up your toys now and if she doesn't start, say i need you to obey mommy and start picking up your toys or the tv goes off until they're picked up...taking things away for a week will not be helpful..way to long...for the morning or afternoon but not all day...when kids act out, they are calling for love...she needs you to teach her these things in a respectful and patient manner...good luck

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