why wont my 2 year old listen to me?

Aimee - posted on 09/07/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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I love my two year old so much but she is really pushing the boundaries. I know part of all this is her age but how exactly can i get through to my child to help her make more better choices? All she will do is throw herself on the floor and cry or jus whine constant for about 3 mins or so

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Yonique - posted on 12/12/2013

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aahh yes I have a 2 and a half year old son and he gives me a good run for my money. I also have a 7 year old daughter who was and is completely the opposite. She is calm, gentle easy going an absolute dream. Don't get me wrong my son is super 95% of the the time but it is that pesky 5% that really seams to rub me up the wrong way. He is your typical 2 year old boundry pushing, energetic 2 year old boy but alas there is hope finally for the first time in about 8 months he has fallen asleep during the day by himself with out me having to pretend to be sleeping as well. Yes it did take an hour and about 45 put back in beds but nevertheless he is asleep!!! YAY!! I'd say set your boundries ie not climbing on benches in kitchen, holding hands while walking on roads/carparks, Only kind hands and feet (no hitting, pinching and kicking) and respecting each others space (not allowed in mum and dads room or big sisters room) Have a good bedtime routine and try to stick to it as much as possible. I have noticed from day 1 with him he is all about routine and when that is messed with even for his own pleasure (staying up and watching a movie on weekend) the next day is all out the window. Good luck and remember that it is for the good of your son.

Lol - posted on 08/19/2010

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They aren't the terrible two's for nothing. At this age they are learning that you and they aren't the same person, they are becomming more and more independant every day, and so are pushing the boundaries to see what happens. It's what they call secure exploration, what they expect and need is for you to be consistent, firm and ensure the boundaries are in place to keep them feeling safe, secure and loved. So if it isn't okay to have a biscuit 5 minutes before dinner it is never okay to have a biscuit 5 minutes before dinner.
You'll soon learn the kind of things that cause problems, if your bab isn't listening remove them from any distractions and either sit on your lap, or you sit on the floor with them so you are eye to eye and getting their full attention and then tell them nicely and firmly but very clearly in language they will understand what it is you want.

Hope that helps

Beth - posted on 10/08/2009

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When my son isn't listening I get down on his level and direct his chin to me so he has to look at me. I quietly ask him to look in my eyes when I talk and ask for a response when I'm done. I make it short and sweet and tell him to say "yes mama." I know it sounds really strict but my 4 year old always listens and we never have problems in public. The key is to be consistant, even if they are laying on the floor. People tell me constantly what good kids I have and I feel like we have a great relationship with our boys.

Stephanie - posted on 09/09/2009

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I think it is definitely a stage--At least I hope. My son who is 2 does this too. I ignore him and walk away. Lately I have started counting--it seems to work--at least this week!

Sarah - posted on 09/09/2009

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My son is 2 and he knows exactly how to wind me up already lol He used to throw himself backwards and repeatedly bang his head on the floor. Although this was really hard for my i learn that he would only do it while i was watching and as mean as it seems i used to leave the room and watch without him knowing (so i knew he wasnt hurting himself) and he would soon find somethin else he was interested in.

Anji - posted on 09/09/2009

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Ha! cuz she is two, here is the time that they are seeing just how far you are going to let her go, time for time outs just a few mins in a chair a few times allows me the freedom when she is doing something naughty to say "You want to go to the chair" and she will stop, try it and see if it will work

Iensauf - posted on 09/08/2009

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Danielle that is easier said than done, I know my son is nearly 2 and does the same thing but you are right to be patient and works so for the mean time when he does through his tantrums i ignore it and wait for him to calm down and then interact with him, so for now I just have to remind myself that this is all just a phase.

Jennifer - posted on 09/08/2009

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my daughter turned 2 in april and let me tell you she is a handfull. i give her a few chances to do what ive asked and if she chooses not to listen i put her in timeout. when ever she throws a hissy fit i put her in her room and just walk away the only reason they throw fits is becasue they want attention. so by putting her in her room she isnt getting the satisfaction she wants and changes her attitude.

Lorie - posted on 09/08/2009

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If you know she is just pushing the boundaries etc.. and she isn't hurting herself or anyone else when she is throwing herself on the floor then who cares. Try and not let it get to you. Just walk away and totally ignore her till she is done. Then when she is done ask her if she is ready to talk

GOOD LUCK, I HOPE THIS HELPS

Emma - posted on 09/08/2009

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I know how you feel and I have a 3 year old who still doesn't listen. I have a 3 strike's rule then it's the naughty step and depending what she's done depends how long she's there for. I also 'take away' treats eg, sweets, yoghurts. I know it's hard, I've pulled my hair out so many times and the looks I get when she has a tantrum in places. Try getting down to their level and not towering over them

Chris - posted on 09/08/2009

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i have always spoken to my 2yr old like a little adult and treat her how i would like to be treated, ive only had to raise my voice to her twice. and that was more my fault as i was tired. if you want your daughter to make a choice then only offer her 2 choices and stick with that choice. if she wont eat or do something rather than say "eat that or else" i ask "do you want a yoghurt after dinner"? when she says yes than i tell her that she needs to eat her dinner first then. so she can see the consequence eaten all her dinner = yoghurt
if your daughter has a tantrum just walk away and ignore it, but make sure you give plenty of praise for the good things she does. im always telling my daughter well done or thank you for the things she does and she has great self esteem because of that.
sometimes i do have to ask her several times to do something she doesnt want to do, if she refuses i go up to her and get her to do it ie gettin dressed in the morning, im firm with her but as soon as she reponds by helping to get dressed i praise her and tell her shes a good girl, then give her a kiss and a tickle so she laughs.

Anita - posted on 09/08/2009

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it really does depend on what it is that your trying to keep under control...I would seriously start asap..the earlier u let her know who is the adult and who is the child the better it is..you need to be firm, consistant and always folllow through on your words/actions...I must admit i started very early on my little one who's turnng two tomorrow and hve been rather lucky that he is well behaved 99% of the time at home and in public (touch wood)...every child is different and there are different mthods to deal with different situtions and issues, but u should always choose your battles...

Pam - posted on 09/07/2009

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I look into my daughter's eyes and gain her attention, that is how I do it, but be warned it does not work all the time, if she is tired you can forget it nothing works

Crystal - posted on 09/07/2009

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lol sorry to tell you but it doesnt get a whole lot better!!! my daughter will be 5 in Jan and im still waiting for the terrible 2's to end!! instead of the throwing them selves and crying, its attitude and yelling at you! joys of parenthood! Cant wait for when they are teens! HAHAHA

[deleted account]

My daughter will be 2 in October and she has started this behavior as well. Its a milestone they hit, they do this to 1. find their boundaries/limits. 2. show their independence. and countless other reasons.



There is a lobe in their frontal part of the brain that controls their reasoning, and when they act out like they do, that lobe gets block off. So any comforting-loving affection, talking, reasoning with them wont really work. You simply have to be patient, be gentle, and try not to act in anger and punish them for something they cant control. Sometimes they just have to be ignored for a few mintues, they will ahve their peace and come out of it and be normal again.



Be firm, show consitency, be gentle, and loving. You will prevail!

Charity - posted on 09/07/2009

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I know how frustrating that is. My son is almost two and is none stop pushing my buttons.

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