D - posted on 09/04/2011 ( no moms have responded yet )
I've been with my husband for ten years, and we've been married for more than a year now. He has a 14 year old son from a previous relationship.
From the moment we announced our engagement a couple of years ago, every relative and friend asked, 'when are you going to have a baby?' During the engagement I said, 'can we just get married first?!'
But since the wedding, it's becoming more difficult to dodge the questions... I'm in my early thirties, and I'm still getting established in my career. I work in a government job on a contract basis, and always planned to wait until I had a permanent position to start a family. But with the economy as it is, and the resulting cuts to positions, making competition for work extremely intense - I'm not sure if it's the best time to start having babies... I could very well lose my job if I get pregnant (since I basically have to reapply for my job every single year until I get a permanent position, but ironically with the poor economy, it's less likely I'll get one anytime soon!).
I'm not trying to be offensive, but I've also been reading some childfree sites lately and it seems to be reinforcing the idea that I shouldn't have kids at all. I'm not the most maternal person, but I always assumed I would have kids because of the societal pressures to do so, and that once I did, it would 'flick a switch' of maternal-ness that lies dormant deep inside. I fear that when I get older I will regret not having kids if I don't.
So I think it's time to look to some pro-motherhood sites for advice on this issue. It's an important decision, arguably the most important one I will ever make, and I need to hear from all sides of the issue before I can make an informed decision. Is there any advice any of you could offer to help me decide?