mom who wants multiples

Joanna - posted on 04/16/2009

My partner had triplet's 10 mnth's ago,and it was'nt easy for her,she spent most of the time in bed as her bump was so huge she could'nt move about much,she had thyroid problems,so she was constantly freezing,she was constipated alot of the time.Looking after triplet's is a constant battle,as you finish one feed,before you know it,it's time to start all over again.We would'nt be without them,but given a choice,triplets would be a no,no.!!!! joe

Alishia - posted on 03/18/2009

Quoting Teresa:

OH MY GOODNESS..where do I start here......I had an unplanned pregnancy with triplets...I had a great pregnancy....carried 33 weeks and 3 days....didint even know i was pregnant much let having triplets till my 15 week....After delivery 3 days after my boys were born I now have a condition called cardiomyopathy...There was a while there we didint know if I would make it or not....Now I'm on heart medicines...I am only 32...Please please whatever you do weigh all the risk and make sure you have a GREAT support system....This is not something I would recommened to anyone..

I could have written this response. I got pregnant w/ natural triplets and had a great pregnancy.  I went to 35 weeks w/out bedrest and after delivery almost died.  I was in Cardiac ICU unit and had bleeding in the uterus and  had to have emergency surgery.  I was in the hospital over a week and still have cardiomyopathy and am still on heart medication and I just turned 33 yesterday.  

And this isn't even mentioning the day to day care it takes to raise triplets and the burden on the older children.  It seems very cool on the outside but it is more work than anyone can imagine unless you are there in the midst of the chaos.  

Alice - posted on 03/15/2009

I think by the time you get to my response, you should get the picture, Laurie.  [Note:  my triplets are IVF babies, but we did not "try" for triplets, were told the probability of pregnancy with one embryo was 30%, played the odds and... won the jackpot, I guess.  My pregnancy was relatively smooth, I did spend 6 weeks in the hospital before delivery and was off work from my 18th week till delivery at 29 weeks, the babies were in the hospital till 6 weeks, one stayed till 7 weeks, then I had to go back to work when they were 8 weeks old, which means I had just brought them home from the hospital.  Still, a picnic for a triplet pregnancy which should tell you something.]  People say stuff like "I wish I had twins (or triplets)" to me sometimes, and it's funny how, as much as we all love our kids, all the moms who have replied said the same thing I do.  Not something you should desire.  I have compared the statement "I want multiples", when you've seen some cute twins or triplets, or think it would be nice to get "2 (or 3) for 1", to someone who observes a person who becomes stronger/better/whatever, after winning a battle with cancer, and says "I wish I had cancer".  Multiple pregnancy is not something to be desired, any more than having cancer.  I'm not saying that multiple pregnancy is like cancer, just that the desire for something "after the fact", not considering the trials you will face in the meantime, is equally as ridiculous as wanting to have cancer.  Take the advice from these wise ladies:  pray for God to bless you with more children, if it's meant to be, but don't be foolish and long after or pursue something you clearly don't understand.  I'm not trying to be harsh, just want to be sure you fully realize what I am telling you.  I pray that you make wise decisions and that God brings about His will for your family.

Ashley - posted on 03/11/2009

I had naturally concieved triplets a year ago and the only explanation I have is the good mountain water.....lol...twins ran on both sides of my family and on one side of my husbands...not sure where the third one came into play but love being a triplet mom...good luck

Carmen - posted on 02/20/2009

Advice from a triplet.... it's not something you should want to have. If it happens by some stoke of god then so be it. But to go after it seems selfish. Let me tell you how hard it is to grow up as a multiple. You are somewhat of a freak show to everyone who isn't a triplet or higher multiple. The difficultly in raising three separate babies and giving them everything they need takes a village literally. I call my neighbor from my childhood mom, because she was there looking over me so much. Not that my parent didn't love me or my siblings. Oh yeah I have an older sister and brother. Triplets were a complete surprise to my parents 30 something years ago. Thankfully they lived in a great community and there were so many wonderful people to help raise us. But you won't find that today, because of fertility drugs. There is a you asked for it you deal with it mentality because of it. Did you know there is a much higher divorce rate for couples who have multiples? The stress, money, and never ending demands from your kids..... don't help your marriage. Think twice before you go searching for your organic fertility treatment. Your selfish desires have consequences.

Isabelle - posted on 02/16/2009

Quoting Mandie:

Hi Laurie,

These replies made me chuckle a little because they were all medical-related, and no one said, "Don't do it!" LOL So... let that be me. I had a great pregnancy, delivering 3 days shy of 35 weeks, and I worked up until 30 weeks when I went into pre-term labor due to dehydration (long story short, I passed a giant kidney stone and had a stomach virus within two weeks of each other). They were able to stop my contractions and I was on modified, or light (allowed to putter around the house and do dishes and such), bedrest until delivery. My kids, identical girls and a boy, were all born healthy at 4.14, 5.8 and 4.13 pounds. We are very blessed that they are healthy, happy kids.

That being said, being a mom to triplets is no picnic. Everyone who hasn't been there thinks it's "neat" or "special", but it is a daily PITA. I've had women say to me, "Oh, I always wanted triplets!" to which my reply is always, "No, you didn't." I also have a daughter, just 20 months older than my triplets (which were not only spontaneous, but also unplanned), and juggling her unique needs and demands while dealing with 3 crying, fighting, hell-raising 11 month olds is more than exhausting, mentally and physically. I long for the days when I had one baby, and wish I had someone over the age of 3 to talk to at home. We never leave the house because our schedule is so tight, never mind the logistics of bringing 4 toddlers out into public. Financially speaking, raising triplets is an enormous undertaking as well. Our formula alone costs us $170 A WEEK. We go through a jumbo pack of Pampers every week ($50). While we do stock up on formula and diapers and use coupons when we find sales, we have had to rob the savings account more than once, and have made many concessions elsewhere in order to afford what our babies need.

The rewards are great, but the road is so, so hard. I can't wait until my little kids are holding their own bottles, eating finger food snacks, and I don't have to change a poopy diaper every 1-2 hours, so that I can start living life again. I'm sure someday I will look back and say, "I can't believe they grew so fast!", but right now I can not WAIT for that day to come. Let me be the first to say you should rethink your wish to have multiples.

Hi Mandie!

I'm Isabelle, 25 yo mum from Belgium, Europe. My trips are almost 15 months old and we also have a 3 y.o. daughter. I was reading your reply on Lauries question and OMG, you are SO right.

Feel exactly the same as you do...

I will be so happy when we're a couple of years further.. because it really isn't easy! But we do stay positive :-)

I'm so happy to have found this community :-) And I'm sorry if my Eglish isn't that great.. I'll try my very best!!

Grts,

Isabelle

Teresa - posted on 01/31/2009

OH MY GOODNESS..where do I start here......I had an unplanned pregnancy with triplets...I had a great pregnancy....carried 33 weeks and 3 days....didint even know i was pregnant much let having triplets till my 15 week....After delivery 3 days after my boys were born I now have a condition called cardiomyopathy...There was a while there we didint know if I would make it or not....Now I'm on heart medicines...I am only 32...Please please whatever you do weigh all the risk and make sure you have a GREAT support system....This is not something I would recommened to anyone..

Kathleen - posted on 01/31/2009

Hi Laurie! I agree with the others. I had triplets in Nov. and It was a LONG road. I was hospitialized/onbedrest from week 18-34 and especiallly since you have other kids at home, it would be really difficult!
Having multiples is really hard, REALLY expensive (for the hospital stay and the babies will mostlikley be in the NICU for a while)...

Mandie - posted on 01/29/2009

Hi Laurie,



These replies made me chuckle a little because they were all medical-related, and no one said, "Don't do it!" LOL So... let that be me. I had a great pregnancy, delivering 3 days shy of 35 weeks, and I worked up until 30 weeks when I went into pre-term labor due to dehydration (long story short, I passed a giant kidney stone and had a stomach virus within two weeks of each other). They were able to stop my contractions and I was on modified, or light (allowed to putter around the house and do dishes and such), bedrest until delivery. My kids, identical girls and a boy, were all born healthy at 4.14, 5.8 and 4.13 pounds. We are very blessed that they are healthy, happy kids.



That being said, being a mom to triplets is no picnic. Everyone who hasn't been there thinks it's "neat" or "special", but it is a daily PITA. I've had women say to me, "Oh, I always wanted triplets!" to which my reply is always, "No, you didn't." I also have a daughter, just 20 months older than my triplets (which were not only spontaneous, but also unplanned), and juggling her unique needs and demands while dealing with 3 crying, fighting, hell-raising 11 month olds is more than exhausting, mentally and physically. I long for the days when I had one baby, and wish I had someone over the age of 3 to talk to at home. We never leave the house because our schedule is so tight, never mind the logistics of bringing 4 toddlers out into public. Financially speaking, raising triplets is an enormous undertaking as well. Our formula alone costs us $170 A WEEK. We go through a jumbo pack of Pampers every week ($50). While we do stock up on formula and diapers and use coupons when we find sales, we have had to rob the savings account more than once, and have made many concessions elsewhere in order to afford what our babies need.



The rewards are great, but the road is so, so hard. I can't wait until my little kids are holding their own bottles, eating finger food snacks, and I don't have to change a poopy diaper every 1-2 hours, so that I can start living life again. I'm sure someday I will look back and say, "I can't believe they grew so fast!", but right now I can not WAIT for that day to come. Let me be the first to say you should rethink your wish to have multiples.

Amy - posted on 01/23/2009

I'm 27 weeks and unlike the prior posters, so far have had no complications. But, I know that complications can come from nowhere. I am lucky enough to have a disposition that doesn't cause me to worry everyday about what *could* happen. Some people aren't like that, and I'm sure this is pure torture for them, wondering when something bad will happen. As for natural ways to have multiples - just have sex. My triplets are spontaneous.

Patty - posted on 01/21/2009

Laura,

I am a mom of triplet boys and another son that is 2 years older than the triplets.  My triplets are now 6.  I agree with all of these ladies that I would not recommend trying anything to get pregnant with triplets intentionally as it is a very difficult pregnancy for anyone.  I was on bedrest at 22 weeks and delivered at 30 weeks with 3 hospital stays in between those 8 weeks for pre-term labor.  Plus, I had an IV pump at home and a home nurse every week poking and prodding on me to check everything in the meantime.  The third time in the hospital they could not stop my labor and had no choice but to deliver my boys and they were average of 3-1/2 lbs a piece.  They were all very tiny and one of them stayed in NICU for nearly the 5-6 weeks they were in the hospital.  My older son did not understand any of this and could not understand why mommy had to always leave him to go to the hospital because he was 2 and I had him in daycare during that daytime because I was unable to take care of him while I was on bedrest.  Now that my boys are older, it still isn't that easy of a task to take care of them, but it can be fun at times, it just isn't that easy.  You always have issues with them as they grow older.  One of them has severe asthma.  One of them is extremely smart, but is slow at what he does and doesn't understand some common sense things.  The other one doesn't get it sometimes but has ADHD problems.  Plus, my older one has mild to moderate hearing loss bilaterally and developmentally delayed.  So, along the way, you always have problems when it comes to multiples above twin.  Please re-think your multiples birth above twin.

Karen - posted on 01/20/2009

I was hospitalized at 24 weeks because my water broke around Baby A. They were able to stop the contractions, but I had to stay in the hospital until the boys were born- not easy on the daughter and husband at home. My boys were born at 28 weeks and were in the NICU for 70 days, dealing with heels pricks for blood trests, IV changes every 3 days (or sooner if the site went bad), and excruciating eye tests. They are doing great and have no major complications, but I would give anything to have not had to have them go through the rough start that most multiple pregnancies go through. I wouldn't trade my life for the world, but it has definitely not been easy.

Sandy - posted on 01/20/2009

Hi Laurie!   I agree with Laura.  As wonderful and blessed as I feel having 3 healthy girls, there are so many risks to mom and babies of multiple births.  The journey during pregnancy was hard...They are almost 8 yrs old and I still take one day at a time!  It's all in God's hands!

Laura - posted on 01/14/2009

Laurie, I understand the desire and what appears to be fun with having multiples but a multiple pregnancy can be very difficult you and the babies. I used to say that I would recommend having twins but not triplets due to the pregnancy but now I know that any multiple pregnancy increase the chances of complications. With my triplet pregnancy, I was on bedrest for almost 20 weeks. That meant no getting up except to eat and go to the bathroom. My babies were delivered 6 1/2 weeks early because I got pre-eclampsia and my vital organs started shutting down. I was lucky enough to be heading to my doctor's office that morning because within hours, my kidneys and liver were not functioning properly and my blood pressure was high enough to put me in a coma. They delievered me as quickly as possible. My daughter weighed less than 3 lbs and my sons were less than 4 lbs. I am actually very fortunate because although they spent 5 weeks in the Neo-natal intensive care, the only long term damage was that both my boys have a small case of asthma. I know that there are some very successful triplet pregnancies but a large majority of triplet pregnancies require bedrest and deliver before the 36th week.