am i right to feel this way

Amanda - posted on 08/27/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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i had my twin boys 15 months ago. after my c section i was taken to recovery as normal and was there for 30mins to an hour i cant quite remember due to the anesthetic. when i got out of recovery i was wheeled into the nursery where my boys were under oxygen and the heat lamps. (i am in aus we dont have nicu in the hospital i was in) my whole family was in the room crowded around my boys and admiring them as family usually does but recently i am feeling upset that i didnt get to see my familys faces when they first saw my boys. one thing i always wanted when i had kids was to see my familys faces when they first saw my kids and now i realise that i will probably never get to see that reaction. has anyone else had this happen to them? i feel like i am being silly to feel this way??

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Kaitlyn - posted on 09/02/2009

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My parents and my sister got to see my twins more than i did the first day. I has a c-section and like you went to recovery. I got to see them for the quick moment when they came out but i wasnt all the way there due to the spinal and morphine. I didnt get to hold my babies until the next morning (i had them about 7pm). I didnt sleep that whole night and kept my mom up (she stayed with me). I was so anxious to see them. Every noise I heard in the hall i would sit up thinking the nurses were bringing them to me but they werent. The nurses brought my little girl to me at about 6am. I didnt get to hold my little boy until around two o'clock because he had to stay in the incubator. They wheeled me to him that morning though. It was so tough not seeing them.

Karla - posted on 09/02/2009

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When I had my twins; my blood pressure went really high and I only remember them bringing my daughter to me. My kids are only 2 minutes apart. When I woke up I was in a room all by myself for about an hour. I didn't know where anyone was what a horrible experience.

Mandy - posted on 08/31/2009

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when i had my twins i didnt get a chance to really see them they brought them in the room in the incubater thing and all i got to see was a foot and my hole family had already seen them and then i had to stay in the hospital while my dad and the babies dad went to see them in the hospital they transfered them too

Stacy - posted on 08/31/2009

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No! I had an emergency section with my first son which required a general anesthetic. I missed his first cry and my husband and mom getting to see him first. I understand exactly where you are coming from. It is very normal. Be thankful for all of the "firsts" you are experiencing!

Teresa - posted on 08/31/2009

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Don't feel bad, hun. They were all smiles and happiness. My Dad saw my son before I did! I had boy/girl twins 8 years ago, and I'd seen my daughter when they cleaned her up and were pulling out my son, but then the rushed my son to neo-natal care so I couldn't see him until hours later. My dad saw him when they wheeled in and scooped up Orion, and I was just laying there while he grinned from ear to ear wanting to see my boy!! lol they were just grinning fools, I promise.

Shelley - posted on 08/30/2009

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You are totally justified with any and all feelings you have regarding the birth of your boys. I thought I had my babies' birth planned very well, with everyone well aware that I wanted to meet my babies with my love -- alone. BUT, no one paid attn. Instead, my MIL was there w her camera and ruined my moment. I'm kinda not over it, but I kinda am. When she gave me the video of that moment, I couldn't even keep it b/c I'm so unhappy w the way people didn't listen to what I wanted in that moment. It'll go away.

Sam - posted on 08/30/2009

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i totally understand i had exactly the same thing happen to me and my mum hisband and mother in law all saw my boys before i did as i also had c section.. and when i look back i really hate the fact that i never saw there first breath or saw my mum and husband see them for the first time.. but then i look on the positive side and mine was an emergency c section due to a ruptured placenta and megga blood loss so it was the only way to get my boys and me out alive..sometimes it just has to be that way and u just have to no that it coulnt be helped.. im not sure what your sercumstances where but no c section when u are put to sleep is nice for any mother as u dont get to see your babies till u have come around!! Hope this helps u xxxx

Jen - posted on 08/30/2009

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I didn't even get to see my babies until day 2. They were in the NICU & I was on Mag for pre-eclampsia. But now I'm just glad I had family there to welcome them with love since I was too sick to do it myself.

Marian - posted on 08/28/2009

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No one is ever silly for feeling something. Birth isn't always the glowing experience with the chosen family or friends around. When my kids were born via VB they were taken straight to NICU and I didn't get to hold either of them let alone see the second born at birth. The main thing was that they were getting the care they needed at the time. My Dad died when I was pregnant and it guts me to the core every day I look at the kids to know he'll never be able to see them. Please cherish your times with your family and your precious babies - there will be lots of firsts to come in the future.

Alexis - posted on 08/28/2009

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I don't think that you are silly to feel that at all. I had a similar story. I had a natural birth, but I guess I am a light weight, because the epidural drugs knocked me out. I kept on passing out between each push. Then since my boys were born early at 36 weeks, they had to be rushed immediately into the NICU, so I didn't get to see my new babies, until the next day, or at least I don't remember it- and they were born at 1230 in the afternoon. Did anybody have a video camera, that maybe could have caught some of it?

Lynn - posted on 08/28/2009

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You have the right to feel the way you want to. My first son was born via c/s. I was in the recovery room and he was with me. I was shaking so bad from the anesthesia (sp) so I didn't want to hold him with a fear of dropping him even though my mom was right there and she could have helped me. I let my sister in law hold him before I did and the kind of relationship we have, I was very upset. It took me a long time before I got over it. I am ok about it now.

Jannah - posted on 08/28/2009

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I'm pregnant with twins right now, but I have three girls already, each a single birth, my first two were vag. deliveries who roomed in with me from the beginning. I was very disappointed to find I would have to have a C-section with my third, I felt like she was whisked away before I even saw who she was and didn't get to see her for almost 2 hours while I "recovered" in a separate room. It's normal to grieve a while for what you thought you were going to have as an experience, and in my experience it can be normal to feel a bit cheated no matter what your experience was, just recognize that that is what it is, part of your postpartum experience. It kind of sucks and it's OK to feel that, but you and your boys survived it, now you get to plan things that are more under your control, like your family seeing your boys ride a bike for the first time, or the first day they go to school etc.

Ashanta - posted on 08/28/2009

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I don’t think you should feel “silly.” I can totally relate to what you are feeling-- the same thing happened to me. When my girls were born there were a few complications and consequently I saw them for a few seconds before they were both whisked away to the ICU. I didn't see them for three hours after that -- a kind nurse wheeled my bed into the ICU for a quick peak. For the first day of their lives, our family and friends spent more time with them then I did. I remember longing to be with them, yet I couldn’t because I had to stay put in my bed. During that time I felt almost envious because my visitors seemed to know more about my babies than I did – “she looks just like her daddy”; “they have beautiful blue eyes"...etc. It was a difficult beginning but looking back on it now, I am grateful that my precious little babies (who had complications of their own) had people around them that loved them when I couldn’t be there with them.

For me, the beginning of their lives was a very challenging time, and going over the moments I missed does fill me with a little regret. However, on the

other hand, being their Mama and watching them grow from infants to almost 5 year olds (time goes by so quickly!) has been the most rewarding, exhilarating, challenging, and magical experience imaginable. I may have missed their first day but I have been, and will be, there for the rest of it (knocking on wood as I type – LOL) Hope this is helpful!

Katie - posted on 08/28/2009

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I can totally understand how you feel that way! but it is over and done with and nothing can be changed now

[deleted account]

I feel that the babies should have been with YOU when the family met them. I understand why you feel the way you are feeling but it was a while ago now and shouldn't bother you anymore. Just let it go.

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