Any advice for dealing with twin 2 year olds?

Amanda - posted on 03/09/2011 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I have twin 2 year old girls (just turned 2 in January). They have a ton of energy and have never really been the type to sit still for any amount of time. I understand that they are only 2 yrs old, but everyday can be frustrating with either one or both of them. Constantly getting into things they already know they aren't supposed to be in, and it seems no matter how many times you tell them in a day not to do something or touch something, they smirk at me and do it anyways. Plus its hard to take them out shopping, they run all over the store, really dont want to just sit in the cart. It makes it hard to take them out to do anything and I feel like we are home bound alot, which is starting to suck! I really need some advice on what to do to make this a little easier. Thanks!!

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Misty - posted on 03/15/2011

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Your local library or Parents As Teachers group usually has books, audio books, and CD's available to check out. You can also find them on line at www.loveandlogic.com.

When I first heard about it, I thougt it was some kind of fu-fu parenting crap. However, the more I researched it, the more I realized that it was just what I was looking for. One person I admire in the Education Field stated it this way and I could not have said it better so I use her words. "It is basically helping children acheive a good self image through facilitation of struggle and then personal accomplishment. It gives ideas on how to raise your children without enabling them...which is rampant in schools today. It also fosters an understanding of actions and consequences and an understanding that one is responsible for the actions they choose. We have sugar coated things for a long time and it's becoming apparent that many kids feel entitled without working for respect." I want my children to be respectful, disiplined, and polite. This technique is helping me accomplish that while having fun with my kids at the same time. I can't tell you how many compliments I get on my boys behaviour out in public, especially at restaurants. Once, I even had someone tall me that it was a pleasure dining in our company. I hope that is helpful and not too much information. Good luck and happy parenting!

Krista - posted on 03/14/2011

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I have Twin boys that will be three in May.....One thing I found for myself was to step back and take a look at where I am lacking in dicipline. I'm not talking Spanking vs time out....cause whatever you choose will work as long as you stick to your guns. I hope you don't think I sound like MIss Perfect because i'm not.....but one thing I learned right away was what I didn't want when we are out. If you don't want them getting to far away from the cart then tell them "exactally" what you want from them and what you will do if the dont listen. What I like to do is tell them if they don't stay near the cart then they will ride. Yes we have some days when we are pushing two carts around!! One for stuff and one for kids. And this may happen the first few times, but if you stick to it, they will learn. I also make them hold my hand in the parking lots....if not then the choice is Hand or Hair? and mean it!! if they don't hold your hand then get a little clop of hair and hold it...you don't have to pull, just hold! they will get your drift!! This would go the same at home....if they get in that drawer again you will put them in time out(insert dicipline here) and do it!!!!! you have to follow thru! your house will be a disaster for the first week but you will start to see them improve for you. Sit down and write out your rules you will fight for and make clear punishments for them. Do it before you have to have to fight for other boundries!! Good luck and know that you arn't alone!! We are all doing this in many ways!!

Cat - posted on 03/14/2011

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I dont have any specific advice, I remember all the same frustrations, and we DID stay home an awful lot... my girls were always good in stores though as long as they were strapped into their double stroller, and I'd use the basket underneath for groceries... I think the idea of shopping earlier is a good one, they're less likely to be cranky mid-morning than closer to lunch or naptime... the other thing I can tell you is that it DOES get easier, my girls are 3 now, and they can communicate very well, we have very few meltdowns, and they no longer make huge messes in cupboards or pull things off shelves, they pretty much stick to making messes with their own toys now lol

Misty - posted on 03/11/2011

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Check out the Love and Logic parenting techinques. I'm haveing VERY good results with my 2 year old boys.

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Amanda-Beth - posted on 12/29/2013

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Time for a playgroup two to 3 times a week. Do shopping just after nap time when their groggy. And despite anoyance of car carts if grocery store has those use it but them in car part and have them each have small toy
In car cart with them

Kathleen - posted on 03/22/2011

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Sorry that you're having such a hard time and I understand, unfortunately you have to take it day by day. I never went shopping unless they were in a pram or someone was with me. I also bought them harnesses which seemed to help a lot. They are going to be inquisitive that's natural, try making a room with just their toys and also let them watch a bit of television, I know so many people say don't let them watch TV but honestly if you need to get things done that is your best bet. Good luck and I hope you win!! I know you will, I did...hehe

Misty - posted on 03/14/2011

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I agree with Krisat, whatever approach you take, be consistant. 2 year olds are smarter than you might think. And as they say in Love and Logic, love them enough to set limits.

Krista - posted on 03/14/2011

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Also take a weekend and sort out toys! put half of them away and leave half to play with....every few weeks when they start to get roudy switch them out for the ones you put away, it's like christmas!! You can do this with books and art stuff too. I find when I need a few minutes I get the play-doh out and make them sit at the table. If you jump in and play too once in a while they will play longer!! How much TV do you allow? you can use that as a diversion too or a reward for picking up toys. I use it at night as a quiet time. One hour before bed if they pick up there toys and have their jammies on....if it take them too long to pick up then they don't get the full hour.....the longer it takes the less time to watch. I also make them sit on the couch and watch....if a foot touches the floor they go straight to bed!!

Marwa - posted on 03/14/2011

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Hi Amanda I used to go throw that when they were the same age but now they are 5. It's very hard on them to stay home not doing anything. U can send to any activaty class that all can share art, music, dancing to get out all the energy to be fair for them and it really make different. Also when u go shopping as for help from them

Carlene - posted on 03/12/2011

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I don't take my kids anywhere unless i have a backup/rebound person. my son has autism and Cerebral palsy and my daughter has anxiety problems because of all the therapies and all the other issues with have with the boy... my best advise: toys, their music on your phone, yeah, you may look silly with veggietales blaring from your phone, but they will be content. i don't know if you have a Hyvee in your area, but in my town, they hand out cookies to all the kids. that will keep mine quiet long enough to get it mostly done, (if i power walk). i also love hyvee because they have carts with steering wheels and stuff. i don't know if i could survive shopping anywhere else with them if i shop by myself. another thing i do is horrible, but my kids love starbursts so i give them one after shopping trip if they were good kids

Rebekah - posted on 03/12/2011

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I could have written your post! My boys are 2 yrs and are so similar to this. I also have a 5 month old. I don't take them shopping much (I do the groceries online), but take them to child-friendly activities such as playgroups, kindygym, etc. I find it easier if we're not home all the time as they seem to get bored with their toys and surroundings and then get into mischief. What about taking them outside? I'm getting more into taking mine for walks (I have a triple pram). It can be so good to get a change of scenery.

Emily - posted on 03/11/2011

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I have three year old twin girls and we spend a lot of time outside. I take them to the park or for long walks. I usually leave the house by 10am because I just can't seem to leave earlier than that. But then after their "exercise", I hit the grocery store or run what ever errands I have to. I ALWAYS sit them in the grocery cart, one in the front and one in the back. I try and place all my groceries under the cart and whatever doesn't fit under the cart, gets piled up around the one in the back. As for them not listening. there needs to be a consequence for that. Every parent has their own way of disciplining. We use time outs and they have seemed to work. Now all I have to do is start counting and my girls know that by the time I hit five they will be sent to time out. Just remember that this will pass. Good luck!

Cara - posted on 03/11/2011

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I always shop with my twin girls (2 next week) in the morning after we've dropped their older brother off at preschool. Most mothers don't shop with their kids in the mornings, so the double seater carts are always available. Also, because it's early in the day, there aren't a lot of people shopping at that time - You can get your shopping done fast. I go once each week, as the shopping is time consuming. Check with your store bakery for "free" samples, too. Our bakery gives a free cookie to each child while shopping with parents. My girls know that this is a special treat for them, so we always go to the bakery first. If all goes well, I will have done my shopping by the time their cookies are gone! Good luck!

Kel-Cie - posted on 03/11/2011

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As a mom who goes out almost everyday (more for my sanity than theirs lol) these things work for us:
The wagon, I have a choo choo wagon that I pull while pushing a cart, they hate the stroller, love the wagon. Snacks, we travel usually during snack time, so I get about 20 minutes of peace while they eat their snack in the wagon. Fun time, we always go somewhere fun after i'm done shopping, our mall has a kids play area so we go there, or to McDonalds playplace for lunch, or to the park if its nice. The boys are usually very good because they know going out means something fun...eventually. Once I didnt have time to go to the mall play area and when we turned to head towards the van, they both started freaking out and screaming no, play! So I know they look forward to it. We always travel in the morning so I tire them out before naps, then they nap from 1-3:30ish, sometimes 4ish if i'm really lucky! One thing I do get sometimes if I have one more store to go to and they are getting restless, is a helium filled balloon for each of them from the dollar store, they love them, I pay the extra for a little weight at the bottom so they dont entirely float away.

User - posted on 03/10/2011

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I am going through this right now too. We have not been able to do the things we love to do as a family for the last 2 years, like going camping, going swimming, going to the movies, really, anything that involves leaving the house.

I take comfort in thinking about the last 2 years and how fast it has gone by and that if it takes another year for things to get manageable, well, a year is not so long, really.

I have had a lot of people tell me that it gets easier and I hope they are right.

take care and good luck

Liz - posted on 03/09/2011

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I'm going through the same thing except my b/g twins will be three in June. I'd love advice on this also!

Kelly - posted on 03/09/2011

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I have two sets of twins. The youngest turn two next month so I know exactly what you are going through. My boys are like two tornadoes going through the house. Just know that it does get better. By the age of three they will calm down and start to listen more. In the meantime try and find some things you can do with them. Read books, play blocks, go on walks, let them run around outside..anything but run wild though the house. I have always taken them shopping in a stroller. I am not able to get many items, but at least they are good.

Tami - posted on 03/09/2011

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HI Amanda,
When my girls were 2 I made sure I went to the store after their naps so they were usually in good moods and no crying in the store. It always took 2 carts. 1 for kids, 1 for groceries. It's a little awkward but put the girls in 1 cart with a couple of toys and it helps keep them occupied. Some groceries like bags of rice, boxes of cereal keep them occupied too! Just pull the grocery or whatever shopping cart behind you.
I had baby gates all over the house and shut doors to keep them in certain areas of the house. Everyting put up at least 3 foot, and no table cloths to pull off of tables. It only lasts a while and everything can be put back when they grow a little more and understand no means no when getting into something they shouldn't. It gets better.

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