Any single Mother's of twins out there???

Summer - posted on 06/07/2009 ( 85 moms have responded )

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I'm starting to feel like I'm the only single Mom of infant twins. I have been a single Mom since 9 weeks into pregnancy with my twins....they are now 7 months old. I live with my parents as I am trying to go back to school to finish my education (I am 26). It has been a VERY rough road. My parents are older and have tried to help out as little as they can as they both still work full-time jobs. So......any other single Mom's out there????????

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Gayla - posted on 03/22/2012

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My babies will turn 19 Sunday. They will be graduating high school in June. While I didn't officially adopt the term "single mom" until they were 4, their father was never around. In fact, he had been "moved out" for almost 6 weeks before my boys even knew he was "gone."



When I was going through the motions of parenting alone, it seemed so tough - but as I sit here trying to figure out if I will even remember how to breathe when I'm not doing it entirely for them, I realize it was the most amazing time of my life. Their father was never around. But now, when I see those honor roll report cards - when I got letters of recommendation in the mail for them both to be listed in the U.S. National Honors Recognition program and when I sat in those stands at sporting events, I knew I could take pride - full pride, in knowing I WAS the influence - I was the one who had raised such amazing young men.



I cannot tell you enough - especially those of you with smaller babies - enjoy EVERY single minute you possibly can - it really will be gone before you know it. When I look back I can clearly see the times I regret most -



The times I was lonely and wanted to be loved by a "good man" (didn't need'em)



The times I worked too hard to provide the "cool stuff" - even though I was blessed to work from home, I should have shut off the computer and spent more time with my boys.



All the time I spent cleaning sticky fingerprints off the windows and doors - I'd give anything to have those tiny fingerprints back.



My boys and I have a wonderful relationship and they reassure me often that they have no regrets about the life I provided for them.



The one things I encourage EVERY single mother to do is create a schedule, instill structure - when your kiddos have a schedule, you can have a life too. I broke my neck to keep them on a tight schedule for naps in their own beds - bath time, eating time, visiting time, etc. Up until they were in 2nd grade, THEY insisted on being in bed by 8 PM. That meant I had my evenings of alone time.



If you must leave your kids with a sitter while you work, put a disposable camera in the bag - ask the sitter to take snapshots of fun things they do - first things they do - that way you don't have to miss out on so much.



Be strong - the big guy doesn't give us more than we can handle and obviously we're a very special group because he gave us two babies and has provided us with the experience to raise them alone.



My heart aches more than I could have ever imagined when I look at my 6'5" and 6'2" babies who were slightly over a half-a-bag of sugar when they were born. All the strength it took to raise them is melting away and all I have left is a puddle of tears as a sense of separation begins to set in.



Embrace every moment you can - even the tough ones.

Gayla

Tasha - posted on 06/16/2009

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well i was a single mom for about a year and a half when my boys were born, their dad was excited at first but when i was about 2 months pregnant he disappeared. its hard, sometimes i would just cry with them from being so stressed out. but just know that it will get easier. i would try to tell myself that their are only like 3 or 4 reasons a baby would cry: tired,hungry,wet,sick, or just wants to be held. as hard as it is especially when they are both screaming at the same time and you are at your wits end try to remember those things. even a change of scenery helps, take them outside or into a different room. that always helped with me.

Melissa - posted on 08/28/2013

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I just happened upon this blog and it truly makes me feel better because I know this will not break me. Some days I feel like it might. I am 36 years old and single mother to a soon to be 17 yr old daughter and 14 month old fraternal twins boys. I didn't find out I was pregnant till I was 19 weeks along. That day not only did I find out I was pregnant and already 19 weeks along but I was expecting twins, and they were both boys. It was a bit much to process. That night I told my boyfriend and he left me the next day. I've seen him twice since.. Both times in court.. One for paternity tests and two to determine child support. He is not a part of their lives. I work full time during late shift and I've had to put my daughter into counseling because of everything. My boys were also born with both defects , have had major surgeries and will be under several different specialist care until they are 4-5 yrs old. I love my twins and I truly believe they were a blessing but its still very hard. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

Ahja - posted on 07/08/2013

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As a Mother of twins, I worked full-time and I attend full time classes at night and I to stay with my family. I'm a little bit younger then you (23) and I have a set of twin boys that are about to be 1 on the 21st of July. Honestly I can’t and won't sugar code anything because it is stressful to get help to take care of your children and your responsibilities at the end of the day. The only thing I can say is find a really good day care, there are some out there. Pray and talk to god, go to school. That would be the best thing out there for you to do in order to get a better paying job and just to have that satisfaction of saying I did it and I got through it. Yes, it will be hard in the begin because you have to get in to the grove of your new daily schedule and what works for me is planning my day out so I know what I have to do and what I have time to do.

Tammie - posted on 03/22/2013

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I'm still in my marriage of 5 years, together 12. We have 11 moment old identical girls. I think we are done though, or how do I know. I can't think straight. What's my bottom line anymore? I feel like I'm holding on for the girls but I know that won't work! I feel so broken! He's a binge Drinker, gambler and has some serious abuse issues of his own to deals with. I thought we could get by. Or he would grow up. I'm such a fool! I never want my girls to feel any hurt and I'm so worried about with fulltime with or without him! What to do?

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Tanisha - posted on 03/19/2014

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Hello mommy Angels!
I call us Angels because we ARE! My heart is so heavy from reading the previous posts of all the single moms with twins who shared their experiences. I'm so thankful that after three years of being a single mom of twins I feel so grateful to read stories of women who share my experience. I felt so guilty for feeling like I was being punished because I became a single mother of two and its my first experience at motherhood. After reading your stories I'm reminded of how blessed we all are and truly thankful for this forum to share my thoughts and feelings with people who are experiencing some of the same trial and triumphs at the same time! I'm thankful to say my little ones are 2 and half and we're making it... I didn't break after all. I've become a stronger person and a much better woman because of them. I'm now learning how to enjoy the ride instead of questioning why it had to happen this way. Thank you moms for having the courage to share your thoughts and experiences. I feel like I can continue to move forward and make the best life possible for us without condemning myself for having to do this alone for now.

Samantha - posted on 03/17/2014

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Oh, gosh. All your stories have helped me so much! I stumbled upon this site too and I'm glad I did. I am glad I can relate to all you amazing women. I'm 18. My twin boys are now 2. They were born at 25 weeks, several surgeries, specialists, months in the ICU. I was with their father thru all that but Ieft last year it was a very toxic relationship. One of my sons has chronic lung disease & a birth defect had surgery a few days ago actually. It's super scary for me to think about doing everything on my own.... My mom has helped me out as much as she could I am living on my own and I recently got a car. So I'm gonna be more independent without having my mom taking us to appointments and the store. I'm putting my life back together, I got my ged, starting college next month. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.

Kameron - posted on 03/15/2014

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omg i just want to say reading everyone's posts gives me confidence and hope. i just recently found out that i am 9 weeks pregnant with twins to a man i had only been dating for two months. during my 8th week i attempted a medical abortion...just to find out that is was unsuccessful. i've decided to go through with my pregnancy despite what the father of the twins says. i'm in the Air Force overseas with no close friends or family for support. and it doesn't help that the father of the twins has cheated and lied on me. so i deff feel absolutely alone here. i can only hope that i can gain the strength and courage of all yall doing this alone. yall are really an inspiration.

Chelsea - posted on 02/17/2014

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I have 3 year old twin girls. I have been a single mom since they were 1. I work and go to school. it is difficult. But honestly it is one if the most empowering things I have ever done. Our babies will learn by example and once they are older they will have respect for all that we have done ( hopefully lol) Also, it got easier for me as they got older, more people are willing to babysit when they are potty trained!! :)

Shaxianna - posted on 02/07/2014

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i am a single mom to twin boys. my baby boys turned 9 months today and i would like to return to school. you sound incredibly strong for having so much to manage on your plate. i work full time and live alone as of recently...its tough and i am sure with school it will be much tougher but we are strong women, we can do it.

Alexia - posted on 01/21/2014

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I'm a single mom of boy/girl twins my twins were born at 28 weeks I dealt with there dad fighting and cheating on me from the start of my pregnancy I was in the hospital for a month before I had my twins. They were in the NICU for 3 1/2 months after there birth. (Emercancy csection) I have been taking care id them from day one by myself. I'm staying with my mom until march my twins are 11 months.

Sarah - posted on 10/20/2013

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I just had my twin girls on 9/3/13, and also have a 6 y/o daughter . My girls were on a one night deal , so I can totally relate . It's tough

Suzanne - posted on 10/05/2013

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Wow its amazing reading everyones stories! I found out last week and am now 7 weeks pregnant to twins through a one night stand :(
I already have a nearly 7 yr old son who is my world and have just started my 2nd year in a social work degree.
My main concern was having to end my career and the stigma that came with being a single mum but you guys have amazing courage and strength which makes me feel that actually its an achievement in some senses x

Sheila - posted on 08/14/2013

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Hello its conforting to know I am not alone. Although I am terrified and so nervous. I have a 3 year old daughter and I am 5 months pregnant with twins. (Boy\girl) I have finally mustered up the courage and strength to leave their abusive father after 5 years. I have juat moved in a two bedroom apartment here in Toronto. I have a great family (mom dad sister) who are eager to help as much as they can although they all work full time and have lives of their own. I am so scared dont know how I will be able to do this but what choice do I have I pray alot and hope I am steong enough to do this all I want for my children is to be happy and never witness an abusive relationship. Pray for me and any advice would be great

Ahja - posted on 07/08/2013

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As a Mother of twins, I worked full-time and I attend full time classes at night and I to stay with my family. I'm a little bit younger then you (23) and I have a set of twin boys that are about to be 1 on the 21st of July. Honestly I can’t and won't sugar code anything because it is stressful to get help to take care of your children and your responsibilities at the end of the day. The only thing I can say is find a really good day care, there are some out there. Pray and talk to god, go to school. That would be the best thing out there for you to do in order to get a better paying job and just to have that satisfaction of saying I did it and I got through it. Yes, it will be hard in the begin because you have to get in to the grove of your new daily schedule and what works for me is planning my day out so I know what I have to do and what I have time to do.

Nazia - posted on 05/14/2013

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Omg!! This is exactly what im going through. Im 7 weeks pregnant with twins and I am going to start uni in september. I already have a 7yr old from a previous marriage. My current bf says to have an abortion and if i dont, he will fight for full custody of the twins. I've wanted to go to uni for the last 7 years and something always came up. I am determined to do it now! I dont have any support network as im an unmarried mother and my culture doesnt allow this. But who cares my kids are the most important thing in the world!

NIECEY - posted on 05/04/2013

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I'm having a hard way to go as well. I'm a single mother of 1 year old twin boys and its been like that since I can remember having them. Their father and his family does little to support the baby's. I just turned 21 and I feel like I'm losing my mind I love my kids but sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. Money is tight also and I'm trying to get back into school.

Kgomotso - posted on 04/26/2013

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wow... just reading through some of what you'all have written here --- makes me feel normal again for the first time in the longest of times.
my boys r beautiful. perfect even [mommy momments!!! mommy pride!!]
am ust struggling with the protracted, mostly acrimonious break-up i am experiencing with thier father. its been ungly. its been sad.
in betweenthere is a whole lot of confusion. one time he is HERE, the next he is marrying someone else and hating me.

throughout it all, he wants to fight me for custody. seems all so unbelievable to me. i really did not see this coming.

having said al the above, my boys have been my very salvation. in their presence, i forget all DRAMA & hurt. wish i got just get above it all.

its my first experience as a mommy. something i waiting long to do. something i am extremely proud to be. just wish it was not tainted by this betrayal & hurt from their father.

Veronica - posted on 04/09/2013

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If you didn't know, I am happy to share that the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Club (NOMOTC) has a Single Parent of Multiples FB page and I invite you to join us @ http://www.facebook.com/groups/404179346... or you can email at SingleParents@nomotc.org
I am the Single Parent Coordinator for NOMOTC. More importantly I have been a single mother of fraternal twin boys for the past 17 years. I am happy to share any knowledge, insight or advice as well as to just listen. I believe in paying it forward and if I can offer any support as a result of the ‘trials and tribulations’ I went thought then it will all have been worth it. To make another single parents life with twins easier would be a great satisfaction for me!!
I became single through divorce when my sons were 4 and have survived cancer, worked full time, gotten a Bachelor’s degree, had financial ups and downs as well as dealt with numerous issues from chronic illness with one of my sons, wants v needs, sports, dating, drug use (yes – even the good kids try it) and a recent DUI (twins are now 21).
Life is crazy busy and above all else I think it’s important to take time for yourself and have outside interests. Allowing for personal time gives your children interaction with others (grandparents, siblings, trusted caregivers) which makes everyone happy and healthy.

Chris - posted on 03/25/2013

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Nikki - I'm not a young one either, 43 when my boys were born. We do what we have to. I have a great community around me. When my dad passed away suddenly and I had to fly back east, it took less than 12 hours to arrange for people to care for my boys for the week (and it was the first time I was away from them too). Family is great, but the family you create from your community can be just as good.

Tammie - I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. If things are rough, babies can make it tougher and twins that much more so. I suggest talking to a councilor (just you if he wont go). It might turn around and get better, but if it doesn't you need to know your options. Make sure you have a strong support network of friends in place. If you don't have one, get one. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your kids. My parents split when I was 3. It was the best and only decision at the time my mom could have made. I don't hate my dad and we developed our own relationship as time went on.

Nikki - posted on 03/19/2013

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Thank god! I don't know any other living person with twins let alone single mums with twins.. I feel really old compared to you all lol I'm 39 40 just before the twins in may, I find it sooo very hard as I don't have the doting grandparents father or anything to fall back on just little ol me... I have a brilliant 15 he old he's a big help and he offers which is nice as I don't feel that I pinch his time sometime I do lol :o) I'm very proud of what I have accomplished in the last year on my own with my b/g twinnies, twice as much stress and worry but twice as many loving cuddles and unconditional kisses.... Well done to all single twin mums xx

Chris - posted on 02/25/2013

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Sounds like there are lots of us out there!

The most common question I get is 'how do you do it'. My answer is I just do.

And at it's base, that is what it's all about, doing whatever is necessary. That will look different to every one in each situation. Some have parents or other family who can help, some have an ex contributing (even something small) and some are totally on our own. We do what we can when we can, but as long as we do our best, our kids will benefit.

My apartment is often messy (although never dirty). I share a one-bedroom space with a pair of 3 year olds (plan to move within the next 2 years). We make do with what we have and prioritize our desires after meeting our needs. My kids are awesome and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Alex - posted on 02/24/2013

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Hi there! I am a single mom of beautiful 10 month old fraternal twin boys. I am 29 (30 next month) and I had made sure that everything was in place before trying to conceive. Had a good education, happy marriage, a very good career and it took us 25 months and a cyscle of clomid to get pregnant. I got very ill with toxemia and had to go on maternity leave early. The same time this happened, my husband lost his job, so we had no income for 2 months (1 month before and 1 month after the boys arrived), then my husband left when the boys were 5 months old and I had been supporting him all along. This are hard sometimes, but definitely worth it and I wouldn't trade it for the world! I have a blog about being a single mom with twins. Feel free to check it out and follow it! http://twinsandthesinglemom.wordpress.co...

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Hey I'm 17 and a mother of two beautiful fraternal twin girls who are almost 14 months old. I've been a single mother from day dot, no support really, financially is hard so I have no choice but to put my girls into daycare and start working but I love being a mother, and think I'm pregnant again...there's a chance, could use someone to talk to haha. I've raised my daughters from day dot myself and it hasn't been easy, but so worth it,

Krissy - posted on 12/26/2012

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There is a support site for parents of multiples called deliveredtogether.com they have forums just for single moms.

Hajra - posted on 12/25/2012

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I m not single mom but my husband had to leave me and our daughter for us. We are in very bad condition since i m pregnant. We use to live with my husband parents with no support ( emotional or financial). So my husband use to work and study at same time. Thanks GOD that he completed his studies in febuary and after that he's on mission to find a good job to give me and our daughter a good life. Mine was a c-section and my stitches also get worse after 12 days due to this my doctor again stitch me as i was bleeding badly. I was alone to take care of my daughter as my husband work 14 hrs a day. And my parents lives in other city:( when our daughter was 19 days old my husband got chance to visit dubai so that he can find good job. I love him soo much and he also loves me. But due to our financial problem he was away. Now our daughter turn 2 months old on 24 of this month. It was really difficult to raise twins. HATS OFF TO ALL OF YOU SINGLES MOMS out there GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Alisa - posted on 12/17/2012

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Im a single mom of 4 1/2 year old son and 7 month old triplets father left week ago but im still working part time without the grace of God and my mother I couldnt be doing what im doing pray have faith it will get better

Grace E - posted on 12/04/2012

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I am so happy to find this website! I already feel much better knowing that I am not alone in this. I have 6 yr.old twin boys and a 10yr. old girl (she's from my ex-husband). I am in the process of kicking out the twins dad, we have been on and off since I was pregnant. I should have been done with the relationship from the get go, but I was too scared to raise three kids on my own. I am now going back to school and working and I want to better myself. I am tired of making concessions and excuses for his alcholic behaviors!!

All of you are very brave!! Twins are no joke, they are extremely challenging!!

God bless single moms!!

Diana - posted on 11/25/2012

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I am 52 and a single mother of 7yr old twin boys. I have been doing it all on my own since they were 5 months old. When the twins were 18 months old I found out I had breast cancer and just didn't know how I was going to manage. I am very idependant and find it hard to ask for help, but found quickly that I had a support system of friends that were there for me. I NEVER imagined I would be raising these babies by myself. I had been in a long term relationship (9 yrs) and even helped him raise his teenage boys. I carry a lot of anger because he is such a "good" father to his grown children and does absolutly zero for the twins. If I had a dollar for everytime I was asked how do you do it? YOU JUST DO IT because you are all these sweet babies have and thank god for us! It's tough and it doesn't get eaiser your challenges just change. I do the best I can and give the most love possible and pray everyday God will continue to walk with me! Be strong I believe God saved the twins for special mommies!

Lonemamax2 - posted on 11/23/2012

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Im a single mother of twins as well. Dont feel alone. I also live with my momz and all around taking care of twins that are abt to be 9mon old and dealing with your folks without a place of your own is extremely stressful. Day by day I hope for the miracle of life to send me millions of dollars a nanny and a house servant, lol. How's going back to school for you?

Kathy - posted on 11/16/2012

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I have been feeling the same way. I have been single since finding out I was 8weeks pregnant with my twins. No Family support and my Daughters Father has only met the girls twice and our Daughters are 6 months old (though I was with him for 2years). I am 22 and have tried to join a twins group though changed my mind as I feel like the women were judging me as they are all older and married. It's not fair that people see single mothers of a singleton but when your a single mother of twin babies I feel like people can be really rude and the one comment I get from soo many people is 'Oh god you poor thing..twins! how do you do it' I feel like just walking away sometimes it leaves me spechless !

Jill - posted on 11/12/2012

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I am a single mother of Twin girls...been single since they were 15th months old. I am 37 now and my girls are 3. I would love to help you through this tough time as I find it a blessing in disquse for me. I work a full-time job now as of Aug and was not working for 1 1/2. I was attacked by the girls father 2x during the girls first year. I decided to take all my negativity and turn it into a positive and live every moment for my kids. By no means am I a selfish person so this makes me happy. feel free to contact me on here or email me.

jill

REBECCA - posted on 10/30/2012

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A similar situation happened with me. I was with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and then i found out i was pregnant. he asked me to abort them and even tried to bribe me saying that if i did, he would take me on a trip to Mexico!!!! what a loser! anyways, i found out it was twins and was so scared. i didn't even have a place to live and just finished college and was on to university. i decided i didn't need him and was NOT willing to get rid of them, especially just because HE wanted me too. i didn't expect any kind of support from him and he hasn't disappointed...i do it on my own without him and thats his loss. i stepped up because my babies need ONE good parent and deserved the best chance at life and i was determined to do the right thing for once. so i had them, they are now 2 and the LOVES of my life! i can't even comprehend them not being here now. definitely a good choice i made ...my boys for their father. i am still in university and its so hard some times and i feel like giving up but i know i cant.



so ditch your loser boyfriend and concerntrate on your babies. they are whats important now.

Carla - posted on 10/22/2012

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what city do you live in? I am in southern california and I am married but separated by choice and basically raising them alone since birth. I have twin girls, 14 months now...

Hang in there, there is no way to getting around the responsibility, work, lack of time for you, etc.

At the end of the day, it's going to be worth it. Just imagine... at some point, instead of you being a constant playmate to your kid, they will play together as you are able to do other stuff.

I am in this whole thing and it's hard not being able to go get my hair done, nails, or shopping the way I used to. I know it sounds bad but I lived a life where it was all about me until God gave me these 2 angels, and now it's them, no doubt! I have been learning about giving myself wholly, and unconditionally for something greater than me, my daughters....

Good luck!

Ebonee - posted on 10/20/2012

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yes i am a single parent to my twin daughters they are a year old, im 22 . i went through my pregnancy alone pretty much. i started school when my girls were 2 months and now im just shy of two months from finishing. i just started working also so school work two little ones its hard. i do live with my mother until i save up and get my own place. One thing don't pile so much on your plate , take one thing at a time. its been a challenge but all i can say from what i've gone through just breathe and if you can never forget to take care of you because at times you will feel overwhelmed but just know its all worth it at the end.

Kendra - posted on 10/13/2012

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Its gets better I've been a single parent of my twins since 4 months of conception with no help or support. I had to figure it out day after day. All I can say to every parent of multiple or not singles, just keep praying and God will take care of the rest.

Samara - posted on 10/10/2012

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well your not im a single mom of infant twins i have been for 8 weeks into my pregnancy mine are now 6 months old i live in a little appartment and im trying to go back to school im 24 and my parents dont want to have anything to do with them

Barbara - posted on 10/02/2012

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Yes, Am a mother of seven, one set of twins 3 years old now. I have been single since their birth when their Dad left.

I have started a project to help single mums in my town where I was born.

Keep in touch. Would real love to connect with you too.

Twins' - posted on 09/17/2012

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Hello Alyse,

I have no intention of trying to push my religion off on anyone, but becoming a single mother has led me to seek God like never before. I must say that He is my saving grace. I remember when my two were infants and they would get irritable at the same time. Sometimes, I would lay them down in their cribs and just go into the closet and cry like I was their age. I was scared, hurting and alone. That combination of emotions is so hard (as I'm sure you already know.) When they were about four months old (after their dad pulled out knives on me and threatened my life) I was in the closet and I began to pray. At first, I was asking God "why?" then I moved on in my prayer to pleading with Him for mercy. After my pity party, I turned my TV to one of the Christian stations and Dr. Creflo Dollar was on. He was talking about mind renewal. For whatever reason every word he spoke seemed to fit how I felt inside so I continued to listen. Long story short, I began seeking God and reading the word diligently and it has made a huge difference in how I see myself, my situation and my future. I was so bitter at the start and now all of that is gone.

I shared this with you because I know what you're going through and I have tapped into a solution that really eases; and after three years, has destroyed the pain that hit me harder than I could have ever imagined.

I know its hard to find time for yourself while they're babies, but love on them, feed them good and sing them and/or rock them to sleep so that you can have time to tap into your inner peace. Sometimes, it just takes reading an inspirational book or listening to some mellow music and other times you might want to just sit in silence. Whatever you have to do to get at least thirty minutes of time to yourself- do it. It will help the interaction with your wonderful babies to be healthier because they really do feed off of your emotions and are very sensitive to how you feel. I have noticed that whenever I am stressed, my boys are irritable and moody and will not listen, but when I am calm and centered, they are still boys, but their not so sporadic and wild. I hope this message is encouragement for you to know that you are not alone and you were chosen to guide the lives of your precious little ones. That choice was purposed and is a part of your purpose and you are equipped to fulfill it. May God bless you, Addika and Cade. I will keep you all in my prayers.

Sincerely,

Catrina

Alyse - posted on 09/16/2012

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I'm also a 23 y/o single mother of boy/girl twins. I have been alone from the beginning of the pregnancy since we were considering abortion...I changed my mind and found out I was having twins about the same time. The father, who has 2 other kids by 2 other women, freaked and I haven't spoken to him since the end of my second trimester. The twins are now two months old and were born premature at 35 weeks and 3 days by C section since my daughter's growth wasn't doing well. My mom has temporarily stepped in because Addika, my daughter, has had to see quite a few specialsts since she only has 1 working kidney which has a partial blockage and will have to have open heart surgery at 4 months of age to close up a VSD. My son, Cade, has no health problems and is a ball of energy. It's been a very rough road, my mom's marriage has suffered since she hasn't been back home in months and financially it's been a struggle. The state I live in will be going after the father for child support, but I know it won't even come close to half of what I spend...and according to one of the mothers he doesn't help out either her or the other mom and the fact that he has a job is rare. There are little moments that brighten the day, smiles, when they achieve another milestone...and even a day where somehow things went completely smooth and you were even able to fit in a shower, give a feeling of accomplishment. But there are a lot of tough days where Addika won't take her bottles, Cade is up most of the night and I don't get any sleep, babies are fussy all day and I am unable to eat anything. But as frustrating as it can be(and trust me...it CAN be)...sometimes to the point where you wonder if you are actually capable of doing it...when you look down and see them smiling at you and kicking there little legs, you realize all the struggle is worth it. I do hope things get better and I will be able to go solo...it would be easier if I didn't have a sick baby, but I'm hoping after her surgery that maybe things will calm down and I can handle everything fully on my own. I think the hardest part is trying to find time for yourself to regain some of the sanity back and to get quality time in with both twins. My daughter has to gain weight for the surgery so she is on this extra calorie formula added to breastmilk, while my son is breastfed along with bottled breastmilk(he bites so I have to give a bottle first lol), so it's been hard to give quality time to both of them sometimes. Hopefully once they can be entertained I can get better quality time in with each of them. Good luck to all of you ladies, everything you have done this far has been an accomplishment worth giving yourself a hug for. Because it's not easy. And Fuck the guy who decided to bail on their half of the responsibility in the two beautiful things he helped create. In my case anyway, the twins are better off not having his influence!

Elay - posted on 09/15/2012

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I only recently became a single parent to 5 kids one of whom is my 12 year old stepson. The others are aged 8,7 and twins (boy&girl) nearly 2 years old. I work when there at school too, What helped me a lot was sticking all my kids into a routine (except the oldest) when the twins were born we still do this routine to this day it does wonders. Also the father/ family have them the odd weekday and some weekends!

Twins' - posted on 09/14/2012

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Hello Summer. You are not alone. I am a single mother of twin boys who just turned three in July. It's tough, but it's also rewarding. My sons' sperm donor and I were together for ten years. I got pregnant and he got lost. He always promises that he will step up, but I am getting to a place where internally, I know it's just me and them and it will probably be that way unless I can find it in my heart to trust again. I have always been very independent and since childcare is way more than I could afford, I had to quit my job, go on welfare and move in with my mom ( who I have not lived with since I was thirteen.) I keep telling myself it will get better and in my heart I know that it has to. Like everything else in life, it is a process.

I had red flags concerning my sons' sperm donor throughout the ten years that we were together, but I chose to ignore them cause I figured the devil you know is better than the one you don't. That was the worst mistake (along with not going to college) that I've ever made. Now I have to find a way to swim everyday cause my children are counting on me. Everyday my sons do things that make the struggle worth it like for instance, today one of my sons made up a song that just says "mama ma momma mama ma momma" So cute! Moments like that remind me that there is a silver lining and it won't always be a struggle. Plus I am in school full time and looking forward to graduating in the Spring. Keep your head up and remember that our children are blessings from God; not sons of their sperm donors. Peace and Blessings!

Sami - posted on 08/23/2012

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Hi ive just found out that im pregnant with twins. i am so scared and unsure what to do.

ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years but he does not want to have children and has told me very clearly throughout our relationship. he also has said that he will leave me if i continue with the pregnancy (i know - asshole!!!)

i only found out today that it was twins, im 7 weeks gone. i was considering having an abortion before i found this out.

im 23 still a student, with a year to go, live with parents (back and forth between my mom and dad) and ive been thinking of how hard it would be for me to try and support a child on my own with no father involved.

now the news comes that its twins and this seems like a gift to me. no history of twins in my family or in his. but then it will be twice as hard for me.

i was just hoping to maybe get some advice from anyone who has been in the same position as me? im so confused and i just do not know what im supposed to do or how i would be able to cope if i keep them or if i chose not to.

:(

any help any one could give would be brilliant thankyou xxxx

Inga - posted on 08/23/2012

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Hi I also thought I was the only one raising twins:). I think it´s rather unusual to be single with twins (since most of them arive to this world with the help of fertilation tecniques and are therefore planned pregnancies). For Mine are almost 9 months now and I share your experience, that is, no one understands how much and hard work this is (Im from Europe so please excuse my spelling). My twins are my first babies.

Since your babies are 8 months now you must feel like you´ve gone a long road since they were born, at least that´s my experiene. So much learning by trial and error. And it has becomes more easy I think, but ofcourse new challanges every step of the way.

I´ve been alone with my boys since they were four weeks old and what a trip:). I wished I had someone to share the workload with since there is too little time and energy just to enjoy. It´s hard to enjoy "something" to the fullest when you lack sleep and energy. Everyone says,"sleep when they sleep" but Im a grown-up and unfortunatly I can´t program myself to sleep like an infant. But I try...

Sometimes my aunt takes one of my boys to give them separate qvality time and I must state; it´s SO EASY to have one baby, it´s nothing compaired to coordinating two infants and dividing your attention all the time. But ofcourse it´s doubble fun also.

I agree it´s nr.1 to have a very tight scedule; coordinate their sleep, eatingtime exc.

Just the aspect of putting two infants to sleep is an ART, vooo how hard it is sometimes...

Im happy to see that there are other single twin moms out there.

Im feeling a litlle bit (no much) retarted when since I haven´t had grown up talk for so long. But I quess Im not alone with that feeling :). I hope so much that this is an encouraging forum where we can give each other advices and the feeling of not being alone.

I almost feel guilty talking about challanges...quess that´s somekind of mom-syndrom :)

Erin - posted on 08/19/2012

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Yes. I am a single mom of Identical twin boys who will be turning a year in eleven days. (August 30th).... They were 3 months premature ( 18 weeks). Everyone has told me they are very good babies. They are for the most part. It is rough sometimes. Especially when you cant get any help. I also live with my parents and they both work two jobs.

Jennifer - posted on 08/18/2012

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Hi I am not ``single`` but my husband works 28 days on and 12 off....I find it soooo hard...my twins are 6 months chronological and 4 months corrected...I had a tubal before my twin pregnancy so you can imagine my suprise... `I`m not rich and money can be tight but its one thing i dn`t have to do myself unlike some of you single mothers! I find it extremely difficult with the babes getting up in the middle of the night...I can`t nap I have a pre-schooler as well and she needs my attention also...I put them all in daycare so i could get a bit of rest and have supper ready for my teenager and preschooler when they get home and keep some order in the house, however my daycare is having a hard time handling the twins because they can be fussy and gassy.....Its not an easy road but i`m sure when they are just a bit older its going to be amazing...I just take it one day or one second at a time....and I`m open to suggestions if anyone has any!

Shunta - posted on 08/16/2012

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Hello I'm a single mom of 4yr old twin girls and although their dad is in the home....!?!...I still feel like a single mom. We have 4 children together and I know exactly how you feel. I do have help with the older kids though. I have went back to school and been back in school since the girls have been 2 and it has been a challenge, but with my strong faith in GOD I don't know where I would have been. Stay strong for your children because they are the most important one in this big picture...although you still need to make time for yourself or you will lose yourself...I known...I have been there. Stay strong and I will pray for you.

Kath - posted on 05/19/2012

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https://www.facebook.com/groups/245921015472649/

Hi,
we have a small closed group on facebook if you want to join. it's called "single mums of twins or more".

thanks
Kath

Kath - posted on 05/19/2012

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https://www.facebook.com/groups/245921015472649/

Hi,
we have a small closed group on facebook if you want to join. it's called "single mums of twins or more".

thanks
Kath

Talaya - posted on 05/16/2012

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I hear you sister!!! I am also a single mother of twins. I have done alone since the beginning. Im also in the military. My ex-husband didn't assist at all. I also attended school to complete my master's online, work and getting about 6hrs of sleep a week. I also had a surgery during this process. I relocated w/ the military and my mom offered to help out for a bit. God Bless her. It's great that you have your parents. It is hard work. My twins just turned 3 last week. Im super tired from no breaks and a deployment to Afghanistan but when I see how much their faces light up when they see me, it's all worth it!! Just remind yourself that they need someone to depend on and that is you! God will make a way. He chose you just like he chose me. It doesn't always feel like it when you have so much on your plate but when you see those babies, you know it's all for them.

Melissa - posted on 05/13/2012

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Lol. NO you arent the only one. :) I am glad you posted because I too am a 26 year old single mom. I already have a six year old daughter and a 1 year old daughter who are my world. I had finally got a degree and a great job and opps just found out last week I am pregnant again and twins this time. Its a scary thought but I am gonna have these babies I am only 6 weeks pregnant and think I love them already :) but i am getting my tubes tied after this. four kids is my limit lol.

Ashley - posted on 05/04/2012

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I'm in that same boat!! My son is 2 & my twin girls are 9 months old. I've been single since i was 3 months pregnant. My son's dad turned crazy too when I was 2 months pregnant. I also live with my mother & sister. My sister has a 3 month old. My mom works 2 jobs. I can't work OR go to school because I have no one to keep my little ones. It's so unbelievably hard. The girls dad is supposed to pay child support but doesn't. So I do all the domestic stuff around the house (laundry, cleaning, yard work, etc.) and my mother buys them what they may need. When they get in school I plan to work as much as possible so we can get out on our own. Props to ALL single mothers. It's the hardest job I can imagine.

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