Autism in one twin....

Lorna - posted on 05/14/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Hi, at the moment my mind is all over the place, first let me start by saying, i have twin girls 3yrs of age, twin1 is talking, potty trained, doing all the normal things, that a child does, whereas twin 2, has now been diagnosed with autism, Prior to this, she had been through all the test, hospital appointments and so forth, to tell you the truth, everything is very new to me, as i spend most of the time reading up and trying to educate myself about having a child with autism and learing how to deal with it. they are due to start full time pre-school nursery this september, whereas the nursery does deal with kids with autism, depending on how severe the child is, but in my case they will not be able to take twin2 on if she is not potty trained, which is another dilema for us as parents. What i would like to know is..1). is there any other mothers out there , who is in the same situation? 2) how did you go about it? 3) i know the help and support is out there, however what does it entail? 3) what am i entitled to even though i work partime on WFTC? 4) What happen's now, with regards to me getting her into a nursery place, come this september?.. To tell you the truth, i am slightly worried and concerned as everything is such a blurr to me and i'm so looking forward to be hearing your feedback....

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Jesse - posted on 01/31/2014

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Hi,
My name is Jesse, I am a 20 year old from California and my twin brother jake has autism ,Cp, and multiple other congnitive and physical disabilities,(hate that word). I hope that you take my advice because honestly what I have to say will save your daughters and you many years of struggle, physical and emotional.

Never, never give your child up EVER!! the thought may not have even come across your mind but that is BAD for all of you. No need to get into detail on that. next this one is alittle harder, now your daughter with the "issue"( im sorry if that offends you I hate saying the word disabled) will be much harder for you to mother. this means that a lot of your time will be with her and I promise you this is true, maybe not now but later on, but never ever forget that her sister is there too, she will be going through years of emotional conflicts coping with the fact that her sister; HER TWIN will possibly never be able to hold a conversation with her, or play softball with her, or help her with relationship issues. to us, that is the most heartbreaking thought.

Now your daughter without autism needs to, at a reasonable age, speak with a therapist about these things it will help her understand her feelings a little more another good helper is actually researching her sisters disabilities(yuck). Hers a analogy that really helped me from a young age that I actually came up with in pre-school {now people's brains are all like pennies, us children and adults who are normal have brains like the shiny pennies, They are shiny an clean. Jake and his friends brains are like the dull pennies they are dull and alittle scuffed but they are still pennies!}

Lorna - posted on 05/16/2010

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She is an over active child, as far as helping herself to things, feeding herself,jumping climbing she looks and acts perfectly normal except for the speech delay, the potty training and not making much of an eye contact At the moment, i haven't noticed her obsessing over anything in particular, but maybe that may happen later. I have taken on board your brilliant advice, because everything is a learning curve for myself and my husband. The situation i'm at now, is to basically to grab as much information we can get, and run with it. I will definetly hang in there!... Many thanks...

Jodie - posted on 05/15/2010

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I just wanted to say that it may seem crazy and a lot to digest right now, but there has been such great strides in learning about Autism. Is there a language delay? Does she seem to obsess over certain things? If she is high-funtioning she may do okay in a "normal" classroom. There is a pretty wide spectrum, so it can seem to be confusing and will be an ongoing learning process for everyone. I taught at a preschool in Minnesota that operated under the "inclusion" theory ("typical" and special needs in the same classroom) and I had kids with autism. They were fantastic and their mothers were amazing. If you can find a similar school you could keep them togeather. Look for a school that has therapists on site. The school might also be able to point you in a direction to aquire aid if you so need. You can totally do this--it will be an adventure!

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Janet - posted on 02/08/2011

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hi, i am a mum of twin boys who are now ten, one has adhd is deaf and has learning difficulties, i think he is on the autistic spectrum, i have banged my head against many brick walls and indeed still do , my boys are in different schools, which in its self is hard work, and like u my son was not potty trained i jst was lucky enough to find a nursery to take him, and they understood his needs very well, much better than the school did, r u in england? u r entitled to dla and carers allowence and u can claim for things thro the family fund. the autistic support group are fab and r in most areas, if u need any more support or i can help in any way i can give u my email,

regards jan

Iridescent - posted on 06/07/2010

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I haven't read the replies as I'm distracted, but my oldest is autistic (he's now 11) and wasn't toilet trained until he was 7. He had as much right to go to mainstream school as any other child, and diapering/toileting was included in his IEP. The school is required to provide all necessary care during the school day. If the teacher is unable to provide it, they must hire a PCA to aid your child 1:1 to do so. I had to fight a lot of blocks along the way for each of my children to get the services they are entitled to, but I did get them.

Now one of the twins is most likely autistic, the other is fine. The school is not fighting me in any way whatsoever regarding the same issues they fought me with my oldest.

I'd suggest you call a child advocacy center and speak with them to get appropriate services in place.

Victoria - posted on 06/03/2010

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My son has Asperger's (which I here they are going to re-categorize into the spectrum), my daughter has no special needs or delays. Since Mac is high-functioning, he got speech/occupational therapies at home until they both started the same private pre-school at age 3, His therapists then did his sessions on school days. They are now in the same public kindergarten & Mac has a 1-to-1 aid in a normal classroom setting and for the most part, he is flourishing. I say "for the most part" because he had had a few rough weeks in the fall & again this spring but we just recently realized that is was due to seasonal allergies. The doctor who diagnosed our son recommended an integrated classroom, but they are not offered in our district. If you are lucky enough to have them in your district, that would be awesome! Our pediatrician is the one who helped us with early intervention, that would be the place to start. Your income does not matter when it comes to special needs children, the state is required to provide services they need (including transportation) at no cost to you, even if you make a million dollars a year! (Thank you,no child left behind act!) I'm not sure about the potty training as we did not have that issue. Best of luck to you and your twins!

Ann - posted on 06/02/2010

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My son is autistic and started school with his third birthday (in March) I was told that that can not tell you that a child with a disability has to be potty trained to attend school. I'm not sure it that is only the public school system or what. Check out AutismSpeaks.org to find out what your child's rights are in your area. You maybe able to find an advocate there too.

Jessica - posted on 05/29/2010

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It is very hard to deal with. I have 4 year old twin daughters. Both of them have a diagnosis of Sensory Processing disorder which is part of the autism spectrm disorders. Twin 1 has been in occupational therapy since she was 9 months mostly because she couldn't reach her milestones. She is only in occupational therapy now to help with her sensory needs. Twin 2 is being evaluated to Asperger's Syndrome. She has speech problems and is in speech therapy. Also twin 2 is in special education preschool through the school district here while twin 1 goes to a different school. Busing is provided for twin 2 to school. It has been difficult and stressful however my daughters are thriving where they at. You can call any therapy place or your child's pediatrician and ask about support groups and I suggest that you try counseling with your daughter. I have with twin 2 and it has really helped me be a better parent to her.

Kim - posted on 05/28/2010

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Hi Lorna, I have twins that are 8 now. My son has special needs and my daughter is so accepting of him. They are best friends...the bond is unbelievable. They go to separate schools and have since they were 3. It was very hard for me to accept when they were starting school and is still sometimes hard but as you said you just get as much information as you can and run with it. You will gradually learn everything and no matter how hard it is, just remember to always put your feelings aside when making decisions! If you need any more help or advise feel free to contact me. www.caringbridge.org/pa/kodyc

Tiffany - posted on 05/15/2010

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There are many programs out there for your daughter with autism. It may mean that your daughters attend separate schools, but busing for your child with needs should be provided. I have worked with numerous children on the spectrum and I am always amazed at how well most do with intervention. It's important that you find the right program for you daughter. It can make all the difference. She should get speech, occupational therapy, play therapy and a program (contact your school district). I have really seen kids make tremendous amounts of improvements with the right services. Hang in there!!

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