Birthday Party for Two!

Linda - posted on 11/15/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )

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We are planning on having a birthday party for our twins together. If you've done this, do you put both of their names on the same invitation or sending out separate ones. It's likely my daughter will have more friends come as she is outgoing and my son has Asperger's Syndrome. I don't think he will make he link that she has more friends there than him. I don't want someone to feel obligated to bring a gift for both of them if they only know one of them.

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Paige - posted on 11/19/2010

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My twins turned 5 last year, and were in different classes. I did 3 invites with the same wording...please come as Taylor's guest as we celebrate the twins 5th birthday or if for him, then: please come as Jackson's guest, or if a friend for both then: please come celebrate Jackson and Taylor's 5ht birthday. Hope this helps!

Marian - posted on 11/19/2010

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My twins are having their 3rd birthday party today! They are B/B twins and have pretty much the same friends at this age. They chose a Thomas theme together and their names go on the invites together. The cake is a Thomas and James cake which has a scale train for each of them pull a big tunnel, that way each child gets a seperate part of the cake to 'own' (it's huge at 5.3kgs). Makes it easier for me that they are both boys and they have the same friends. I always tell people that if they were planning on spending $10 a one gift to please spent $5 on each boy, the gift price isn't important but the kids both getting one is important as kids don't really share well at this age but they do have a good concept of 'more' (something Grandma doesn't understand). I also say that they don't need any gifts if people don't want to get one as it's more about celebrating the kids rather than giving gifts.

Jessica - posted on 11/19/2010

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Our girls are about to celebrate their first birthday and I plan on doing one invitation one big cake with both names and they each get their own little cake.

Heather - posted on 11/15/2010

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Same invitation. I haven't done it, but my older son had twins in his class and that is how they handled it. One party, one birthday, one invitation. They were in separate classes at school but everyone knew they were twins. I think they have requested cards only though...

Quilty - posted on 11/19/2010

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When mine were little, we sent "boy" invitations to my son's friends, and "girl" invitations to my daughter's friends. Even though it was the same party. That way, no one felt obligated to buy two gifts.

I often got the huge rectangular chocolate chip cookie cakes, and had one side decorated for her, and one side decorated for him. Served the girls from one side, the boys from the other.

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Amanda - posted on 11/23/2010

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My g/g twins will be 2 in January. For their first bday and this one I do one invitation, one big cake and then a smaller cake for each of them. It will probably be different as they get older. It works for now for us.

Kelleigh - posted on 11/22/2010

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My B/G twins had their birthday's together until they reached about the age of 9, they are the ones that requested a seperate day, So I would usually have a friday night boy night and a then a Saturday night girl night, we always have a family only dinner so the grandparents, Aunties, Uncles and cousins get to celebrate with them, my twins are the only grandchildren in their fathers family, so they love to fuss over them! Now that they are in high school, they have changed and now plan their party together, they just celebrate the big 16 and they both took care of their own invites and we all came together in one location, it was a lot of fun! So over all I have let the twins manage the party with friends and I make sure the family gets their time too.

Lillian - posted on 11/22/2010

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What age are your twins? I have faternal girls. I've alternated between big and little parties for them because I feel bad when people have to buy them to gifts. Their 1st, 3rd, and 5th have been big parties. Their 2nd was a at the zoo family and friends gifts optional party. For their 3rd b-day we rented a bounce about and had a princess party cuz thats what they asked for. Their 4th was was a at home just family gifts optional party. Their 5th birthday was a Magic party, hired a magician and thier cake was specially made to have 2 rabbits coming out of the hat. By the way, the only time so far that they have had seperate birthday cakes was their 1st b-day. Their 6th b-day, being the girls that they are, they chose to have a mother/daughter make-up party! I had 5 little girls there. They had a blast and looked beautiful. The mothers on the other hand looked a hot mess. For their 7th, I again had 5 little girls and we had a sleepover party. I know at one point their friends might not be the same for each in which case I'll use Pagie Pettit's advice on how to word the invitations. Keeping in mind you have b/g, I would do separte invitations for their individual friends and a joint 1 for their share friends and family. Just keep in mind as they get older they will want to do their own thing whether it's having a make-up party or a lazer tag party. My girls will be 8 this year and as of now we have come up with horseback riding but it might change. I just count my blessing that they haven't wanted seperate parties yet. Good luck!

Tanya - posted on 11/21/2010

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Hi! I have 11 year old twins. When my girls were younger, they shared an invite. We didn't start sending out individual invites until they were in 1-2 grade. By then they had their own personalities and different tastes. They were also in diff classrooms and had made diff friends. In my opinion, I would put both their names on the invite, in this situation. I am all about equality and he may not know but his twin will. It's up to the person getting the gift whether they're going to buy them both gifts or not. We've been invited to parties where we knew someone else's birthday was either the same day or in that time period, we would get two gifts. It's a celebration and this day is for both of your children, regardless of your son's Asperger's. Just in my humble opinion.

Erin - posted on 11/20/2010

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We do seperate invitations. I don't expect everyone to get both kids a gift. Even if they have some of the same friends, we let the boys choose who wants to invite that kid. Sometimes they still get gifts for both, but they know they're not obligated.

Suzanne - posted on 11/20/2010

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We used the same invitation and put both names on it. Saves sending more mail. We made sure for their first party that we had 2 cakes, and for their 2nd we had one cake as I got over making 2. Maybe for their 3rd might try to 2 again and have something simple. Wanted to keep the fact that they are individual still there regardless of them being twins. They are indentical so it is going to be harder for people to see them as different. Do what you think is best, also try and do something that you can keep on doing each year as it is hard with 2 children for the same party. Good luck, and I am sure it will all work out.

Christiana - posted on 11/19/2010

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My twin boys are in separte classes at school but they have some friends the same. I let them invite the same amount each. The ones that are friends with both I put both of their names on the card, but if the others I put one name. One friend of my out going one brought a present for both anyway, because the mother knew they were twins. She thought I made a mistake on the invites.

Shannon - posted on 11/19/2010

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I have 5 year old twins and we have always done 1 invitation for both with 1 cake and seperate candles and sing the birthday song to them individually. Hope this helps.

Tina - posted on 11/19/2010

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My first set of twins are boys (fraternal) and it was usually one invite since they both have the same set of friends. My second set of twins are boy/girl and I did separate invites - girls for my daughter and boys for my son.

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My b/g twins will be turning 4 next year and we will celebrate their birthday together on the same day. We always give them their own cake that our guests share in. If they were older and in school I would be sure to give them their own individual day to celebrate their birthday with their own friends but for now they share all the same little friends. I have been to many twin parties and I wouldn't bat an eye at bringing each child a gift. Even if I didn't know the one child, I would still feel inclined to acknowledge that child with a gift. If it's out of obligation I think that is okay because I would be sad to think of how a child may feel if their sibling received gifts and they did not by people at the party. I almost think that if you had 2 separate parties there may be less worry?? Not sure - kind of tough. Good luck!!

Jodi - posted on 11/19/2010

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Our twins Just turned 9 and we always send one invite. We will usually have 1 cake with separate candles...Then we had a giant chocolate chip cookie. Our twins B-Day is the 5th of Nov. so we always have it as a kick off to fall with bon-fires wienie roast, hay rides, This yr.we let everyone tp the trees... everyone brings soups sandwiches, No one is obligated to bring a gift or food... We just have a big celebration...everyone just comes and has a good time.

Christy - posted on 11/19/2010

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In the beginning, I did the girls' birthday together - one invitation, one party, one big cake (for guests) and each had their own little one. Now that they are older and in seperate classes at school, I send invites to each class for the one who is in that class. And, each girl has their own party with friends. (I'm trying to treat them as the individuals they are. If they were different ages, they wouldn't have the same party...) I have found that if someone in one class is friends with both, they usually bring a gift for both. But, that's up to their parent.

Penelope - posted on 11/19/2010

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Our twins haven't yet turned 2, but on their first birthday, we did everything together. They're too young to notice or care and our family and friends would automatically bring gifts for both anyway. I can't speak to how to handle it when they're a bit older but I think the above suggestion of separate invites and cakes to ease the burden on guests might not be so bad. Normally, I'd say they'd be quite aware of who gets how many gifts, but you know your son and if you don't think he'd notice go for it! I think with mine, their friends will likely overlap for some time so I will keep it joint until they show an interest otherwise. I'll probably just specify on the invites re gifts so people don't have to automatically buy two of everything.

Liz - posted on 11/18/2010

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Our b/g twins are only two years old so they don't have much friends yet, so it's mostly family, but we put both of their names on the invitations.

Charlene - posted on 11/16/2010

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If you give 1 invite for both, they will feel obliged to buy gifts for both. If you make seperate invites, give each of them equal amounts of invites and definitely seperate cakes...

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