Caring for newborn twins and a toddler

Stephanie - posted on 04/03/2010 ( 17 moms have responded )

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We just had our twins on 3/28/10 and we have a 20 month old daughter. My husband is taking about 3-4 weeks off (possibly longer) of work, so its been fairly smooth since he's home, but I'm a little worried about when he goes back. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to take care of all three while he's at work?

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Heather - posted on 04/09/2010

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Remember that the only important things are that they are fed and changed - all 2 of them. Also remember to take care of yourself. My twins are 7 months old now, but when they were born we had a 17 month old as well as an 8 year old and 5 year old. My husband got to take 2 weeks off work when the babies were born and he helped a lot. You really just have to go with the flow. It is hard work but you will get the hang of it. Invest in at least one sling or wrap. I used a Moby and carried the twins a lot then one twin was so heavy she weighed one side down so I stopped using it, but it was a huge help.

Ashley - posted on 04/09/2010

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First off, congrats on your new additions!! I have twin boys that were born on 12/28/09 and my other son was born 2/5/09 so they are almost 11 months apart. Right now the twins are 14 WEEKS old and my singleton is 14 MONTHS old haha their father also works all day so I am home with all three by myself. What I resorted to is something called a play yard. They sell them just about everywhere, babies r us, walmart and even petstores (it's similar to this - http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/prod... but i did not pay that much for mine) Mine came with 6 gates for $70 and then you can buy "attachments" which gives you 2 more gates for $30 to make the area bigger. and what I do is put the twins swings in there or a blanket for them to lay on or whatever activity they are doing at the time so that they are secured in the gated area and my older son can still have his freedom and play. the only concern is that the play yard is self standing and it is possible to completely pick it up. So if you decided to use it and put your older daughter in it, it is possible she could lift it up and get out. But it is a LIFESAVER. It folds up like an accordian and is easily stored anywhere. Without it I would probably be bald by now! Good luck :)

Justine - posted on 04/09/2010

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I only had twins and am full of respect for those that manage with twins and more - but here's one piece of advice that seems to be missing from all of the above - deprioritise EVERYTHING else - house not tidy, washing up not done for two days? So what? Nothing bad will happen. Hubby can do some of it when he gets home from work too after the babies are in bed. Also remember that people can help with that as well - when someone pops over and says 'can I do anything to help' don't offer them a baby to cuddle, send them to the kitchen to wash up! Also, invest in some pyjamas that double as day wear - I wore yoga pants and a feeding vest (tank) to bed, and no-one batted an eye-lid when I opened the front door in the same gear at 3pm in the afternoon! If you are breats feeding prepare for the fact that it is a full time job with twins for the first six months ... but as you'll remember wth yoru first baby, that time goes by in a flash, so most of all, make sure you ENJOY your two precious little babies as much as possible - they truly are double the joy and not just 'double trouble'!

Christina - posted on 04/08/2010

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Ask you older daughter for a little help. My oldest was only 15 1/2 months old when I had my twins and he turned out to be a big help for being so young. He helped out with bottles and he threw diapers away for me, heck he even helped rocked them to sleep at nap times and bedtime. when the twins were sleeping I rewarded him for helping me by spending almost all free time with him and every now and then special gifts or treats.

Bobbi Jo - posted on 04/08/2010

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Hello, I am in, or will be soon, the exact same situation as you. i am expecting twin boys any time now and i have a 20 month old daughter. my fiance is not able to take off quite so much work but i do have alot of family willing to help. would you please write me back if you have any helpful hints and ideas to make this easier on us and our daughter. :)

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17 Comments

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Jenn - posted on 02/13/2014

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To Meredith G,

Congrats on the babies! As for the stroller situation and not wanting a triple, I completely understand! If I can give you a suggestion... get a Valco Baby Trimode Ex. They come in a double and you can get a toddler seat to attach to the front of it. So you stick the babies in the stroller seats laying flat, then put your toddler in the toddler seat. The Joey seat in the USA has a higher back than the one in Canada - I would recommend the one from the USA. The double stroller also fits through a standard door! Air filled tires are great for running/jogging (minus the toddler seat) and the front wheels lock in three positions for added stability when needed. I just have the single, but I see a lot of people with twins doing the double with the toddler seat!

Good luck!

Meredith - posted on 11/19/2013

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I have 4 1/2 year old twins and a 15 month old. I'm 6 weeks pregnant with twins again (natural) and I'm a little freaked out about managing a toddler and newborn twins. I'm not so worried about being home, but what about when I have to go out with them? I still have my twin stroller, but that only covers 2 of the 3. My toddler will still need to be in a stroller to control him and I really don't want to get a triplet stroller. I remember how hard it was getting around by myself with twins, but now I'll have twins an a toddler (the older twins are manageable now). I'm really unsure how this is going to work. Advice PLEASE!!

Carrie - posted on 04/21/2010

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I have twins born Sept '09 and a son that turns two this May. It is challenging but he is so sweet with the babies but they dont do anything yet that makes him interested in them overmuch so he does his playing with toys and mom gets to take care of the twins. The one thing I have noticed is that the two bouncy seats that I have are a life saver. the two year old leaves them alone and I have my hands free to watch over them while I fold laundry. As was said before just be prepared to leave things off until you have someone else there to help, unless you have a dishwasher leave them off until someone can be there to watch the toddler. laundry I have found is easy to keep up with if you do one load early and one load later at night two loads a day keeps us supplied with enough fresh laundry for the next day. Dont try to do to much at first just bond with the babies and keep the toddler involved so they dont feel left out.

Amy - posted on 04/21/2010

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I had a 2 1/2 year old when my twins where born and like alot of people on here have said get your daughter to help you with anything and everything for the most part she will be ok with it, If you are bottle feeding prepare all your bottles the night before and put them in the fridge. Hide nappies and wipes all over the house so you don't have to constantly get up to head for a change table (they won't mind being changed on a towel on the floor!) Tell your daughter that if she helps you get things done that when the babies are asleep you can have mummy and (her name) time. If you can once a week for an hour or two take your daughter out as a treat for helping. I was never a great scheduler but everything did seem to fall in to place at about 3-4 months and by 5 months it felt like it was always that way. This maybe taken in a few ways but I am in no way being nasty, but, you will do it cause you have no choice! who else can look after your kids better than you.

Ashley - posted on 04/20/2010

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i had my twin boys when my son just turned 17 months and it was hard now they are 4 and almost 3 and it's just new and diff things that make it hard like the fightin. but thats with any kids the biggest thing for me is all the whinning I can handle anything else except 2 2yrs olds whining and a 4 yr old doing the same

Allisha - posted on 04/09/2010

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I was in the same situation, and your 20 month old is now old enough to help you with little things and they will love to be involved. Mine liked to help by puting the dirty laundry in the hamper and throwing the diapers in the trash. She also liked to help by holding a bottle when I needed her to. Just ask and I am sure your little one would love to help you. That will also create bonding between this child and the new babies.

April - posted on 04/08/2010

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I too have a pair of twin boys born 8/4/09 and an older son 7/15/07, and believe me it is hard!!! My older son is definately feeling a little left out. My twins were born 3months early and have medical problems so I've really notice that my time with my oldest has become less and less. He had been acting out, I noticed and really put the extra time in with him. When my boys are sleeping my oldest and I really bond. Play games, color, etc. and I can see a change. I really suggest just spending time with each of the kids when you can. Good luck and advice for me I WILL TAKE IT!!!

Pip - posted on 04/08/2010

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Oh I hear you... When my twins were born I also had a toddler, actually the twins made 6 all up, it was full on. I hardly got out of my PJ's until hubby was home, then I'd grab a quick shower. If I found time ( ha time? what's that?? ) I'd make a lunch box full of food for the toddler in the morning as he'd always ask for food or drink while I was feeding, bathing or changing them. But in all honesty I just sunk and days and nights turned into a blur. The twins are 21mths now and things are easier. Good Luck and ask for help.

Kristina - posted on 04/08/2010

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When my twins were born, my oldest was one week away from turning 2, so I totally know how you feel. Ask for help! For myself, I felt I could handle the twins just fine...it was the toddler who needed someone to take care of her. So my mom and my aunt took turns coming to spend the day with us. Their job was to entertain/supervise the toddler while I took care of the twins. I nursed, so I was spending a lot of time in my rocking chair and I just couldn't always meet my daughter's needs. I had help pretty much every day for the first 6 weeks or so. Then it was every few days, once a week, etc., until I got settled into my new reality. I'm also lucky that Daddy was able to take 22 weeks of parental leave.
After that, playgroups!! I practically lived at a drop-in twice a week...it gave my oldest a chance to interact with other kids, do crafts, play games, and it gave me a chance to talk to other adults!
Another suggestion I have heard but never tried is getting an Early Childhood Education student from a local college to "volunteer" in your home. The student gets valuable experience and you get free help. :)

Brandy - posted on 04/08/2010

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Our twins were born 3-13-10 I also have a 4 and 6 year old. My 4 year old is not adjusting well. She has made the last 3 weeks very "crazy!!" My husband stayed home for the first week and that soo helped! I am also having a hard time balancing all 4. I do agree that a schedule is the best option. Eat, bath, and sleep at the same time (if possible) so that in between there is more time for fun and just lovin on some babies! I am trying to just chill and take it day by day. Hopefully you can to! I also agree with asking for help when needed.

Lauren - posted on 04/07/2010

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Honey, I know how you feel. My kids are 12, 10, 5, 4, and almost 3 twins. Luckily your husband is taking off some time so you can have that special bonding period with your twins. When he goes back to work though thats a diff story. Everything you do with the twins you should involve your daughter also. You are gonna need a routine. For example, I always feed them breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the same time everyday. Baths are the same time and we have a set bedtime. Ask for help!!!! If you have close family or friends that could help you dont be afraid to ask. On my stressful days I ask either my mom or my best friend to come over and help out a lil bit. Sometimes they take them so I can have some peace or they stay at the house with me and help me cook, clean, bathe, and even play with them. Good luck!!

Tiffany - posted on 04/03/2010

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Ask for help. I know that is not great advice but really, friends family neighbors anyone!!! I needed help with just my twins....throw a toddler in and..well you get the picture.

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