child care difficulties

[deleted account] ( 15 moms have responded )

I have 11 month old twins and have had a terrible time finding a child care provider that can handle the challenges of twin infants/babies. My circumstances are a little more difficult than most due to the fact that my daughter has suffered from severe GERD since 3 months old (frequent gagging, retching, and vomiting, and severe feeding aversions). She goes through good and bad runs, but at her worst had to be fed via a nasal feeding tube/pump. I tried to go back to work part time after the babes were born, but ended up having to take an extended leave of absence because I haven't been able to find reliable child care.

Has anyone else had any difficulties or successes with finding child care providers who are capable of handling twins? If so, would you mind sharing?

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Heather - posted on 07/13/2010

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There is an online resource you might check out, called Care.com I think. You can search child care providers in your area and specify that you need someone qualified for handling twins, and one with special needs. The basic membership is free, you can check out the site and such and see if you are interested. But to actually contact the sitters, nannies or whatever it's like 30 dollars I think.

[deleted account]

It's not that I don't enjoy being with my babes during the day, just that I had worked very hard to get to where I was in my career. I had only been working 20 hours a week but could not even keep that up because I couldn't find child care. We couldn't really afford for me to leave my job either, since I contributed to almost half the household income, but we don't really have any choice so are just doing the best that we can. For some reason, where I live, the preschools seem interested in enrolling twins. My problem was more that they could not deal with a child with special needs like my daughter.

Heather - posted on 07/13/2010

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I had similar issues. None of the day care centers were accepting more than one child under the age of one, so I would have had to split them up.But now I 'm a stay home mom and love it! :)

KERI - posted on 07/13/2010

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Edubabe was great. they found someone for me that had dealt with very close in age babies and she is wonderful with my boys :)

Tina - posted on 07/03/2010

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Hi, it's great you've been able to stop work to look after your babies, congratulations... a friend's baby had similar symptoms to your daughter and she's been diagnosed with celiac disease (commonly referred to as gluten intolerance) that can be easily managed. Check the formula you're giving her, if it contains wheat this could be the problem. I hope this helps. Good luck.

Candi - posted on 07/01/2010

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You know, I actually found it very easy to narrow down. I posted an ad and looked through the profiles that had been active in the last week. There are several care providers who want to bring their own children along too. This is a HUGE NO when you have both twins and special needs. Your child will NOT be top priority, and in general, those care providers will want to do things their own way, which is 100 percent not what you want.

It's pretty obvious who is competent and who is not, particularly when you interview them. I asked for people who had some experience with twins, but really, i wanted a childcare provider who had some experiences that they could bring to the sitting experience. So, I have one nanny who is an educator at our local zoo. Another was in the early childhood education program at one of our local universities. (That's another idea: Call the early childhood/education programs at your local universities and post an ad. Students are flexible.) I also have a sitter who loves to cook with kids, which is a lot of fun once their a few months older than your guys. (Mine started cooking with me at about 18 months.) I noted the problems of our household up front, and emphasized to them that they would have to be willing to listen to both me and our team of therapists (because we do have a team. Woo.). Look for someone who is first and foremost excited about children and excited about learning about your kids and teaching them new things at the same time as they're learning. AT 11 months, it's useful to have someone who has experience with twins. But the special needs is something that can be taught and learned on the job as long as the care provider is enthusiastic, friendly, loving and excited about learning.

On the feeding issues, are you in a feeding clinic? Both of my boys had to be in a feeding program for many months, and one still aspirates thin liquids. It seems miserable and ridiculous, but I swear, it will get better! We go to the Children's Institute in Pittsburgh, PA. They are the BEST.

[deleted account]

Thank you so much for the advice Candi. I have not considered trying a site like Care.com. Did you require that the sitters you hired had experience with twins or with children with special medical needs? I'm not sure how to narrow down the pool of potential providers on a large site like that.

Candi - posted on 07/01/2010

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I've had the best of luck finding childcare providers through care.com. One of my twins has cerebral palsy, so my boys are not easy by any means, either. However, I set a process where I intereviewed the provider and then made them stay with the boys for an hour or two while I was in the house, but not necessarily in the room. This ensured that the children would be fine, as would the nanny if she needed help. The people I've found have NOT been nurses, but they've been beautiful. One got my son to roll at 13 months. Others have learned sign to communicate with both boys. I'm a Ph.D. candidate, so my schedule is eratic at best, and the people I've found at care.com have been able to accomodate.

[deleted account]

Thanks for all of your advice. I went ahead and resigned from my position, which was a sad decision to have to make since I really like my job and had been there for 10 years. I understand that child care workers are not nurses and should not be expected to do more than they are trained to. However, I wonder what a mother or father would do who could not afford to quit their job to care for a chronically ill (yet not so ill that he/she qualifies for disability) child.

Kristina - posted on 07/01/2010

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Daycare providers are not nurses. I am a mother of 11 yr old twins, and a chidcare worker. Twins are not unusual in childcare settings, nor are feeding difficulties.Until you have sorted the problem out, it may be best to limit hours of care to just a day or two.Talk to the Director to see how they can include your daughter, therapists should be able to visit the centre to help staff as well.

Bridget - posted on 06/28/2010

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You can try and call a daycare, nursing school, hospital, nursing home, school. You can tell them that you are calling their institution since you've heard such good things about them, then tell them you are looking for a trustworthy person to provide childcare for your twins and ask them if any of their employees would be interested. Or you could go to the school, daycare, etc and speak with them in person or ask them if you could post a job opening, make sure you explain the GERD as well that way they understand the feeding needs. I know nursing students would probably love to take care of your children, they get a mix of both babysitting and a little bit of medicine as well. In general it is hard to find childcare for twins once people realize it's a lot harder than one baby they don't want to do it, I can't even get my family to babysit for me! :( Good Luck, I hope you find a great babysitter and fast! :)

[deleted account]

We haven't had her tested for allergies because she has not yet had any solids. She staunchly refuses to touch any food. We have her on Elecare, a hypoallergenic formula, so we know that she isn't getting any soy or dairy either. We have weekly appointments with a feeding therapist to work on getting her to try more solids, but so far we haven't had much success. She is not at all orally averse. She puts everything in her mouth. She just doesn't want to eat or swallow anything because it makes her gag and often vomit.

Pip - posted on 06/26/2010

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1 of my twins was retching, gagging, vomiting and all that unpleasant stuff, I had him checked out for allergies and it turned out he was allergic to eggs, soy and nuts. Since then he has gotten alot better. Have you had her allergy tested or thought about it?

[deleted account]

Unfortunately my daughter's vomiting is quite severe. She retches and gags for minutes on end and is very upset by the experience. When she vomits, she loses an entire bottle and needs to be fed all over again (a process that sometimes takes up to an hour). It is not something most child care facilities are up to dealing with. Her vomiting is far different from the more typical spitting up that some babies experience.

Mindy - posted on 06/26/2010

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i have five yr old twins and one of them had reflux where he threw up everytime he ate they would just clean him up and go on. My group realized that this was normal and just dealt with it.

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