Disagreement on Names

Jodi - posted on 10/11/2010 ( 30 moms have responded )

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Okay, so my husband and I are expecting twins and we found out it's two girls. We had ourselves convinced it was a boy and a girl and had only had brief discussions on girl names. Since he shot down my favorite girl name in history, Aurora, with our first daughter he promised I could name the next girl we had if we had one, so one is for sure Aurora. Here's where the area of contention is: I hate "twinny" names, and have fallen in love with the name Dalilah. My husband thinks that because they're twins the other girl should be named Arabell, it's not that I hate that name, I hate that it gets into the "twinny" category, and he admits he really likes the name Dalilah, but really wants the two A names.

How do we figure this out? How do we compromise? How do I get my point across about giving the girls as seperate of identities as possible, where he just wants to play up the twin thing? Gah! Help! Advice, opinions...any feedback! Thanks ladies!

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Tina - posted on 10/11/2010

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How about compromising with Aurora and Arabella and then shorten it to Bella. That way he gets his way with both names starting with the same letter but you get your way with them not being to "twinny".

Heather - posted on 10/11/2010

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We decided that since we were having twins I got to name one and he got to name the other, end of story.

I don't really think that Arabell and Aurora would be "twinny" two A's isn't nearly as bad as if they rhymed... I didn't want "twinny" names either, but we ended up with Ella and Alexa because that's what we each chose and I wasn't willing to change mine to have both names not end with 'a'...

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Jessica - posted on 11/13/2011

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I have a similar problem. We are having boy girl twins and I dont really mind the names we pick sounding too "twinny" lol buut we can not seem to agree on much lol because we can not agree and try to compromise we have changed the names like a thousand times already because neither of us have really been happy with both names It went from Daniel and Dezirae to Gabriel and Emily now its Ezekiel and Elyssa those were just the most recent ones lol there was much much more even though Ezekiel and Elyssa both start with E I dont really consider it to be "twinny" because we also have a 2 year old daughter whose name is Elaina and all 3 would start with E :))

Kasha - posted on 10/11/2011

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Before we found out our twins were boy/girl, I was really hoping it was two girls, as I had TONS of girls names, but have always had a hard time with boy names. I personally didnt necessarily want same initials, but might have if top picks ended up that way. I just went into the twin thing with the idea that I would name them just as I would if it was separate pregnancies. So yes, if you are already one to have names that match(all kiddos same letter, or same ending sound) then go ahead...otherwise go with names that would be picks. We ended up with Sienna and Ronin, which as my husband pointed out, does have alot "N"s...but those were not SET until after they were born.

Claire - posted on 10/31/2010

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The only thing to bear in mind with names both starting with the same initial is think about when the post comes or you get medicines for the babies what you will do with the same inital - its quite hard at 3 am to check you have the right bottle if the initals are the same.

Tarina - posted on 10/21/2010

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Well as far as the 2 A names go... Tell him he can either dress them alike (while you still have a say in it) or name them alike. Honestly though, the more similar the names the more confused you will both be :) I have a calendar system for my kids, their first initial followed by whatever activity or appointment... so Dameon becomes D, Chase C, etc... my twin girls came on 7-31, and we went with different initials so my calendar system still works! We decided on Mara Faye and Serah Alys after aLOT of talks and deliberation and saying full names out loud. Ask him if he loves the name Arabell if he would consider a spelling change, to maybe Erabell or something? And just think, if you havent decided before you give birth, you get to play the "i just had your children you lose" speech :)

Jessica - posted on 10/20/2010

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I have twin boys and I didn't name them anything a like. I have Aiden and Tucker. Everyone told me I needed to name them Aiden and Braiden. I think it is "twinny" names if you make them sound a like or have the same name with an added letter or something. But just starting with the same letter isn't going to be that bad.

Nancy - posted on 10/19/2010

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I have Katelyn and Kelly. They are 9 years old and if I had it to do again, I would not use 2 K names. I get so tough twisted. You can't imagine.

Lorraine - posted on 10/18/2010

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I have to be honest, I'm not wowed by twins whose names are matchy and two of the first letter is very matchy. Unless your whole family has the same initials, it will still point out their twinness. We have a Meg and a Carly... Initially, I wanted Kelsey and Leslie...but when said aloud, they sound WAY too much alike...so we gave up on both and chose two different names.. (actually===megan and caroline)

Evelyn - posted on 10/17/2010

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My sister and I swore as kids we would never be the ones that gave their kids "matchy" names. by default both her kids names start with a J and my twins are Devin and Dorian. Devin is the girl and Dorian is the boy. Her name was the hardest to choose and their father and I struggled to find one. it just seem to fit and we were not looking for a "D" name after we had already settled on Dorian. Their fathers name is Thomas and that is my sons middle name. I wanted both the kids to have family names for a middle name. Dorian means "the gift" and Thomas means "twins" so his name just seemed to fit! I think having a name that can't be rhymed or picked apart by other kids and still have a good meaning are just as important.

Amanda - posted on 10/17/2010

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I have twin girls as well, they are my only kids. My husband and I decided together that we really wanted them to be seperate individuals and didn't want to do the twin name thing - even though everyone else thought it was a good idea. I named mine Mia and Kaylie. We actually decided to each pick a name (first and middle) with liked, and that the other one agreed on. You have your heart set on a name so you are entittled to go with that name. I would talk to your husband about doing the twin naming thing and making sure your girls are individuals and not just part of their twin. But in the end, he is entittled to pick a name that he likes, since he is giving you the name you wanted. Its a hard debate. Maybe see where his or your family falls in the debate to see if they are on your side, and if they are, get them to talk to him about it. Maybe that will sway him to pick a different name. Though, he may be trying to just go against you since you seem to have picked both names out. You need to sit down together and talk it out between you - which might mean making a compramise on one or both of the names. Good luck.

Charlene - posted on 10/17/2010

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My husband wanted one to be Xander I could choose the other one and I did some reading and Xander decends from Alexander the great and I looked up other kings and really liked the name Darius, and they are both 6 letters. One of the babies were bigger the whole pregnancy and we decided that the bigger baby would get the X for extra large...

Marrissa - posted on 10/17/2010

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My husband and I had the same "dilemma" with when I was pregnant with out now almost 2yr old twin girls. He loved the name Chelsea (and refused to change his mind) and really wanted the girls to have wtinny/cutsie names, but I loved the name Kai. Ultimately we decided to go with these 2 names depite the fact that they are not those common twinny names which rhyme or are similar, but it's funny how after saying their names for almost 2 yrs now they seem to flow together well.

Just choose whichever names you like and they will fit together. trust me.

Diane - posted on 10/16/2010

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I say just keep talking and trying to come up with options that you both like and when they're born just look at them and see what name looks like it will suit them best. My husband and I had a hard time figuring out a name for our daughter and when she was born we got our list out, we had narrowed it down to 5 different combinations of names and when we saw her it much easier to decide and agree on a name.

Wendy - posted on 10/16/2010

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I have twin girls with non Twinny names (Erin and Leah), but people get them mixed up all the time anyway (maybe because they are identical). There are lots of ways to keep them from being the same person. The name is only part of the puzzle. Good luck! (by the way, we went with the flow of the names.. Erin Elizabeth and Leah Carolyn (both named LONG before pregnancy as names we liked, if we had more than 1 girl.. ever)... BTW.. my son's name was picked at the same time as the girls... all names stuck throughout the 2 pregnancies because both my husband and myself really loved the names. go with your guy. You will live with it forever! (as will they!)

Anissa - posted on 10/16/2010

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My identical girls are Ava Kay and Macy Shea. They rhyme when you say it like that, but they are known as Ava & Macy, those names are night and day. Lol. We named them that because those were the only 2 names we could agree on. Good luck!

Sharon - posted on 10/15/2010

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My husband & I both pick a first & middle name for each child. So Baby A gets daddy’s pick for first name & mommy’s pick for middle name & vice versa so each girl gets a name from each parent.



In case I didn’t like the first name he picked I selected a middle name that has many forms that can be shortened so if my girl didn’t like daddy’s pick when she grows up she has options to call herself something different .



For the longest time my husband wouldn’t commit to one name and whatever he was suggesting I hated, he finally narrowed down to a few and while I was on the operating table he asked me if he can use the one we ended up using, LOL… talking about timing.



Since I can careless at that point because I was a bit preoccupied I agreed with his pick and I was very lucky because his final pick was something I liked so good luck to you!

[deleted account]

Before we knew we were expecting twins, my hubby and I agreed that he would name the baby if it was a girl & I would name it if it was a boy... We found out we were having twin girls and he named one & I named the other one (we each chose the first & middle names). It was a nice compromise for us & it worked well :) ...(And we avoided the "twinny names" :p) Good luck :)

Amber - posted on 10/15/2010

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We almost named one of our girl twins Aurora because I think it is such a beautiful name and my middle name is Dawn and Aurora means "light of dawn". Anyway, we decided to go a different direction, but there are lots of ways you can give your twins names that "match" but aren't "twinny" My girls are Eleora Ann and Amarisa Eve so their initials are just switched. Also we really liked the meanings of both the names. We wanted both names to have strong meanings so they are similar in that way.

Stephanie - posted on 10/15/2010

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I know how you feel, i'm currently 17 weeks pregnant with twins and my husband doesn't want to find out the sex of the babies as he is fully convinced it is two boys and has the names Daniel and Dominic picked out.. I on the other hand don't like the "twinny" feel of it and am convinced it's a boy and a girl and picked out the named Layla. We have our disagrements but he agreed eventually that if it comes out to be a boy and a girl, or even two girls we wouldn't pick the same sounding names or the same letters.. It seems like the better decision, while they are twins and will forever be connected by that, to let them be their own people right from the start. But that is just my opinion.. haha

Nina - posted on 10/15/2010

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The father of my kids and I agreed to the name of our children. He named the girls and I named the twin boys. I named the first twin after my father, William, and the second twin was named after my father in law, Ralph, their middle names belong to their father, Leroy. Not the same names or rhyming names. My girls are are Karyn Lynn and Jemmifer Lynn. All the last two intials are the same LM. the same as their Dads. I was the only one in the family with different last two intials.

My twins grew up to be completly different from one another. Went to scholl in different classes. One is a Daddy now and the other isn't. Don't know if he will ever be a Dad as he is 41 already.

Sheri - posted on 10/13/2010

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I have b/g twins but from the beginning before we knew the sex we didn't want "twinny" name either. Nothing rhyming and nothing similar like Dennis & Denise or George & Georgia. We really wanted to name our daughter after my grandmother so we chose Grace. Before we knew is was twins we both liked Will for a boy but obviously we couldn't name the twins Will & Grace. So we spent a ton of time vetoing each others names until suddening about a month before we had them, Jake poped into my head and my husband loved it so we went with Jake and used my husband first name as my sons middle name. I would also say that names starting witht he same letter don't sound "twinny" but I agree that starting with the same letter does feel less like individuals. I like the post that suggested Bella but I would definately name them what you plan to call them don't name them 1 thing then call them somthing else I never have understood that.

Jodi - posted on 10/13/2010

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Thanks everyone, you've given me a lot to chew over and even though we're still not at total agreement, he's starting to understand why I don't like the idea of having names very similar and I'm seeing why he does like that, so hopefully we'll come to a compromise soon!

Kelli - posted on 10/13/2010

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All my kids have the same initials but their names don't sound "Twinny":)
My oldest is Austin Chase we call Chase
Boy Twin is Aiden Cayne ..we call Cayne
Girl Twin is Addisyn Claire...we call Addi So Cayne and Addi do not sound too Twinny, but they share their initials. Just an idea.

Heather - posted on 10/13/2010

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My hubby and I are in the same boat. We had a boy and girl name picked out b/c we thought our twins were b/g. However, when we found out Baby A is a boy, that went out the window. I compiled a list of names that I liked and had him go through them. Some were automatic "veto" and some were "maybe". The name he chooses may not end up being my favorite, but if we can agree we both like it, that's the important part. I have read that with twins, you label everything (or it helps if you do) like blankies, clothes for daycare, etc so names that sound too twinny may create some confusion. One twin mom I met last week put initials on her boys' infant carriers so she doesn't have to adjust the straps all the time. If both names have the same initial, that would be trickier.

Teresa - posted on 10/13/2010

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My husband and I came to a compromise with our identical boys. He liked the idea of naming the boys after their grandfathers who are irish and dutch, so the names were Francis and Roelof. I was not so keen on those so I decided to pick the middle names and chose Joseph and Jacob, it had nothing to do with being twinny, just two names I really liked. The boys now go by their middle names, but will still answer to their first names if called.

Kelleigh - posted on 10/12/2010

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What about using similar middle names? We didn't know what baby B was until she arrived, so had two boys names picked out and 1 girl name because we knew baby A was a boy.. We opted to not having matching names either way..

[deleted account]

I don't know that picking two names that start with the same letter is "twinny," but my boys' names start with the same letter so maybe I'm biased (I have a Grant and Gavin). I think names that rhyme or are virtually identical are what most people consider twinny, e.g., Danielle and Ganielle; George and Georgina, Raphael and Raphalea, Anthony and Antonia (these are all twins I've known, BTW). Twins names should somewhat coordinate and be able to be read as a group, otherwise it just sounds weird (e.g., think of Phinneus and Hazel). One of the names we really liked was Cooper, but we thought twins named Grant and Cooper would make everyone think we had an obsession with old-time Hollywood actors (Gary Cooper and Cary Grant). That's just not a consideration you have to take into account when naming a single baby. I don't know that your husband is trying to "play up" the twin thing by naming them both A names, either, but you're the best judge of that. Even if he was, who cares? They are twins and everyone in the world will recognize them as such until they go there separate ways as adults. You can't "untwin" them by giving them very different names and more than your can make them greater twins by giving them rhyming names.

Kate - posted on 10/11/2010

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l say keep the 2 names as possibilities. When the girls are born, you'll both know which name is the right name.

Lacie - posted on 10/11/2010

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i feel the same exact way.. i even went as far to say that i didn't even want my girls' names to END in the same letter.
I won a similar argument by just saying "they'll have the same initials though. that's not a seperate identity."
but you can always procrastinate and pick like 3 of your favorite names and wait to see what they 'look' like.
but i love love love dalilah and considered it for one of my daughters.

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