Do your twins hate being twins?

Niki - posted on 04/07/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have 8 year old identical twin girls who absolutley love eachother when it comes down to it, in fact they are pretty inseparable. However, they have expressed to me many times how they don't like being twins. They don't like to dress the same, have their hair the same, have the same toys etc. They hate that people can't ever tell them apart, it annoys them to no end. I feel bad for them because I want them to feel lucky to have eachother and realize how special it is to have a twin sister, but no matter how many times I tell them this it doesn't seem to make a difference. I understand it to a point and I feel bad for them that they are having such a hard time finding their own identity despite having complete opposite personalities. Anyone else have this same issue, if so how did you deal with it?

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Marissa - posted on 04/08/2010

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My boys are fraternal and only 4 but we talk about how amazing it is to be a twin. I let them pick their own clothes out and sometimes they will ask to dress the same but most often they don't. They have their own interests and friends. I do not treat them as a "unit" and instead as individuals. We've done this since day 1 so I don't think they know any different.

Beverly - posted on 04/08/2010

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Mine just get annoyed when they are called by the other name. It happens a lot at school. They have their classes with the same teachers but at different times. Their gym teacher only calls them by their last name. It made my one son so mad last time that he told the teacher that he would not answer till he was called by his first name. I have never dressed them alike. I have always wanted to treat them as individuals. But you would not believe all the matching outfit them received when they were younger. They both have different personalities and fight light any other siblings would, but they do alot of things together. Baseball, archery, hunting and fishing. Don't compare them to each other to begin with. Treat them like individuals.

Terri - posted on 04/07/2010

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My boys are now 16 and are like that, still today they won't even wear a tshirt that is different colors same logo on it on same day! It took till they were about 12 to have the one that hated it the most start to do his own thing. He finally went with a short haircut, plays guitar...brother plays football...funny thing he started being nicer and kinder to his brother when this all happened. I always let them do what they wanted to do, although they always had different friends, they sometimes switched, one started out friends first then the other one would take the friend away, but usually the first was ok with that...they even did it with their first girlfriend! I was so surprised that the first didn't mind the second "going out" with his cast away...they are now 16 and two totally different individuals, they don't compete as much because of it. Its hard but you have to let them find their own ways, and go with the flow on it. pick up the pieces, maybe suggest to the one that seems to be the angrier or the one not so easy going (that one may be the one struggling the most to find herself) doing different things than sister, sports, music, different haircuts would help others tell them apart. good luck...twins are hard!

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