Does anyone know how to attack this MINE! stuff?

Denise - posted on 10/18/2010

It is so good to know I am not alone in this. My twins will fight over a toy that they had no interest in just because the other one touched it. And yes, their favorite word is mine.

Cat - posted on 10/17/2010

That's completely not fair to your son Theresa, to let your daughter play with his toys, but not let him play with her dolls??? That's so totally mean... My girls play with my sons toys, and my son plays with their dolls, their dollhouse, anything really... We all share in this house, and there are NO silly gender specific rules for toys, all that does is breed contempt and anger...

Hilary - posted on 10/16/2010

I'm interested in your post Theresa, why don't you allow your son to play with your daughter's dolls even though you want him to share his toys with her? Its always tough with mixed sex children, I have 2 boys and 2 girls, but they all have to share the all toys, and if they won't then thats where I step in. Obviously if something is likely to hurt one of the little ones, the older ones are expected to keep it out of reach. I don't mean to criticise your methods, every parent has their own ways and its great that they do, but I'd like to understand your reasons in this particular instance.

THERESA - posted on 10/16/2010

Wow, I have b/g twins and currently everything is all about them. All you hear all day is "My mommy, my toy, my sister, my daddy" It wasn't a problem until my daugther decides she wants to start playing with cars. My son had a fit and cried because he didn't want her playing with his toys. Its hard trying to explain to them why they should share because i don't allow him to play with her dolls, so he doesn't understand why he has to share and she doesn't. I guess I didn't make the situation any better because I went out and brought my daughter a car similar to one of his toys. Lately, when they start fighting over toys, I take it away from the both of them. When they start learning how to share, they can get it back!!!

Jessica - posted on 10/15/2010

I love what most the other mom's said too.... I haven't had a major issue but it does come up, even with my almost 5 year old and his little brother or sister playing with something. When they freak out because they see someone else holding something that is clearly thiers and I hear the words but it's mine, I say "Your right! That is your (fill in the blank) but your brother or sister is having a turn right now, and you can have a turn when they are done." and that didn't go over so well with my daughter just the other night.... the baby of 5 and baby b of the twins, and it was a toy that I knew we had two of so I walked... lol..ok kind of carried her over saying "how about we have brother find his toy", because brother had her toy first. well we couldn't find it so we found him a truck instead...and he actually wanted to play with it! LOL that doesn't always happen, but it did that time! Good luck... I hear it gets better LOL & I sure hope it does!

Rosa - posted on 10/15/2010

My boys who are now 3 have the same tendencies. We have to remove the item they are fighting over until they are able to play together. It has not been easy but they are learning. It takes lots of patience and pain reliever for headaches. = )

Bethany - posted on 10/15/2010

I'm a big fan of the toy that is causing an issue getting a time out, that has worked well for us when redirecting isn't working. We do not buy duplicates of toys though, that causes major issues at our house, because then they each want their own of everything, plus it drives me nuts! The year we had 3 singing dancing spidermans was awful...I still have that song in my head!

Julie - posted on 10/15/2010

A lot of times a toy gets a time-out sort of thing - ditto to the "if you can't share, no one gets it" We have duplicates of nearly everything but for the single-toys it's either take turns, play with it together nicely, or the toy goes bye-bye. Kind of like the one response, if they seem to be getting on eachother's nerves while playing, we'll try to give out a job or task which they get excited about.

Annette - posted on 10/15/2010

yep agree with Bethany too, my girls think i'm nuts when i act like them.

Bethany - posted on 10/15/2010

I have 3 boys. 3 year old twins, and a 4 yr old. I also watch my sister's 2 girls that are 3 and 5. Sharing toys has been a huge issue at our house. I have a couple things that have worked well. The first is keeping the toys put away unless it is playtime. That way when I take them down everyone is excited and more willing to listen. Then, when the toys come down, my husband or I play with them for a few minutes and give them each a job. EX: If they are playing with animals, I have one take care of the dinosaurs, one the jungle animals and one the farm animals. Sounds labor intensive but it only takes a few minutes and has worked SO well for us. The other thing that we do is have our days planned, so the kids know what they are looking forward to. I'm a stay at home mom, but I used to be a preschool teacher so I started doing it kind of unintentionally, but the days that I have slacked on our schedule have been mass chaos! I don't even react when I hear them argue, because it seems to make them do it even more, I just redirect it. When the arguing is really bad I try to make everybody laugh, then redirect them. Making kids laugh is my best defense, because it always makes them lose their train of thought, plus sometimes they make me feel so crazy I need a good laugh!

Annette - posted on 10/15/2010

I must say I'm with Hilary on this one, "Dad and I buy the toys so they're ours and you're lucky we share with you." My girls are now 8 and we have always treated them as totally individual people, no one in our family even call them "the twins", they are "the girls'. They still bicker and bitch now, but we just time out them both until they decide they can share if they are after the same thing. It has got easier though as they both have their own personalities as that is what we have harnessed and they tend to like different things, and sharing their stuff is more fun now. One likes to share her books when the other is actually interested, and the one that always wants to play rather than read loves to share her toys when the "studious" one wants to play.

Hilary - posted on 10/11/2010

If it gets bad I tell them that all the toys are actually my toys and I'm sharing with them, and if they can't play nicely then I will take my toys back. Obviously only works when they understand the concept of ownership an like everything else to do with discipline, follow through!!

Heather - posted on 10/10/2010

We just correct them each time, and say no, it's not yours. If they continue to fight over it we take the toy away.

Cat - posted on 10/10/2010

Honestly, at 2 and a half, I've pretty much given up... I do not police their play time unless one of them physically hurts the other... If one wants to be mean and not share, there are other toys in the room... I cant hover over them and teach them to respect each other at every minute of play, so, I will only get involved if their fighting escalates... They ARE getting better, they'll be 3 in December, and I'd say they only fight twice a day or so now, maybe more if we dont get outside during the day...