Grade 1 Twins - same class or separate?

Alison - posted on 08/24/2009 ( 75 moms have responded )

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Hi Twin mums, I have fraternal girl twins heading into Grade 1 this Sept. Have just decided to separate them due to intense rivallry - they wont be happy as they want to be together!



Has anyone got any experience of twins at school and making the decision to place them separately???? Feedback PLEASE!!!!



Alison

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Jamie - posted on 08/27/2009

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My twin boys, going into 3rd grade this year, were seperated in first grade. It was the best thing for them! They were together in 4K and Kindergarten and although they loved being together they both struggled. Their teacher in 4K was wonderful and recognized that when one would start catching on and start moving ahead he would slow himself down until his twin would "catch up". It was a back and forth struggle all year. As we were in a small Catholic school at the time we didn't have a choice to seperate them for Kindergarten. When they went into first grade, we moved to the public school and were given the choice to seperate them. It was a hard decision, but we figured we would try it for one year and see how they do. WOW! What a huge improvement in both of them acedemically. One is flourishing and growing by leaps and bounds, while the other is still struggling he is getting the one on one attention he needs without being compared to his twin.

Your twins may be competative but they can be competative in seperate classes too. Seperate classes gives them the chance to make their own friends, rather than "sharing" friends all the time. This had helped my boys tremendously.

Good luck with your decision. Hope this helps you to make a good decision for your kiddo's.

Kelly - posted on 11/06/2009

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my twin boys just started grade 2 and are still together they got very upset when i was thinking about putting the in different classes.
ill will separate them when they are ready no point in stressing them out all day.

Raissa - posted on 09/11/2009

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My fraternal twin boys were together in PreK and it was a bit of a problem, as we would later determine one is ADHD and could not sit still and seemed to focus only on his brother and what he was doing and not his own work. At the advice of the principal, I seperated them in Kindergarten and it made a world of a difference. The more active twin was able to focus a little better in class, and his brother able to do his work with no interruption. They are now in 1st grade and still seperate, I feel that for our situation this will probably work out for the best throughout elementary.

Lori - posted on 08/25/2009

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My twin girls are going into first grade as well. They were in separate classes last year but together in pre-k. They did better in different classes. They both got a chance to excel without being compared to each other. I am also an elementary school teacher and have found that the twins that were in different rooms (especially when they are very competitive) have done better academically and the parents have reported that they get along better at home.

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Therese - posted on 08/10/2010

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My faternal twin boys have been in separate classrooms since kindergarten. The school suggested it saying it is better for them to develop different friendships and not be competitive with eachother. Well, now my boys are in 5th grade and it was the best decision. It was hard at first because my boys wanted to stay together but after talking and talking to them they adjusted fine. They have the same friends as well as different friends. They are also not competitive since they have different teachers with different work loads. However, they do help eachother with homework and it is nice to see that if one needs help the other helps. I strongly suggest that you separate your twins girls. They will be fine. They can look forward to seeing eachother after school. My boys are very close and maybe it is because they are not competitive with eachother. Separate them. it will be fine.

Teresa - posted on 11/10/2009

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I have twin boys that are 14 years old. They have been separate at school since kindergarden and they have there own identity. They do not want to be together in classes. It has been great except for homework when they were small but now it is great. They do it mostly by themselves. I think it is great that they are separated.

Carolyn - posted on 11/06/2009

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My started at pre-k being separate and the adjusted good. This year they are in kindergarten and I like one teacher alot. I went ahead and keep the separate because I feel they learn better that way. But now wish I had keep them together. But they do learn to adjust and make different friends. Which also means alot more people at the birthday party. lol But if you think they do better together than by all means leave them together and they will let you know when they are ready to be apart.. Good Luck..

Ceinwen - posted on 09/11/2009

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My identical twins start prep in the new year and are going to be in seperate classes. I have told them they are going into different classes to which on e replied they had to be in the same class as they were twins. I explained that they didn't have to be in the same class because they are twins and he was happy as long as they can play together at lunchtime.

As a teacher I have seen the negative side of having twins in the same room
1. high level of emotional dependence on each other - in one case if one twin was sick the other could not cope at school on his own.
2. often as they are individuals there academic performance can vary - this can undermine the confidence of the weaker academically twin leading to more classroom issues
3. the other issue is the competition between twins can get out of hand and impact on there social activities as well

I have never seen twins who are seperated in the school envoonment that I would think would be better off together

Holly - posted on 09/08/2009

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I have boy/girl twins in 2nd grade this year, and we decided to separate them last year and it worked out really well..They didn't like it at first, because they had never been separated EVER..but it gives them the time to be their own individual selves instead of being "the twins"..due to the fighting and arguing they do at home, I could just imagine at school..so in order to keep them both out of trouble and for them to learn anything they had to be separated or else I would've probably been called into the office daily!! LOL

Barbara - posted on 09/05/2009

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Quoting Alison:

Grade 1 Twins - same class or separate?

Hi Twin mums, I have fraternal girl twins heading into Grade 1 this Sept. Have just decided to separate them due to intense rivallry - they wont be happy as they want to be together!

Has anyone got any experience of twins at school and making the decision to place them separately???? Feedback PLEASE!!!!

Alison



Hi Alison



even though my twins are 20 now seperating them in grade one was the best decision i could have made. They each then had something different to tell me after school each day instead of trying to compete with each other to tell me what had happened each day. Also i found that teachers did not compare them to each other.  Good luck cause its not an easy decision. 

Emily - posted on 09/04/2009

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My boys started 1st grade this year too. After alot of thinking we decided to put them in different classes this year.In Kindergarten they did well together but since they look so much alike it was hard for the teachers & students to tell them apart. Alot of times they were addressed as "The Twins"(which drove me & them CRAZY!!!) They started school in mid August & have done VERY well. I think I was more worried about the change than they were. They still get the chance to play together some at recess. Sometimes they do & sometimes they don't. It's really awesome to see them growing indepentant of each other. They are doing very well academically as well as socially. Good luck with everything& let us know how they do.

Kimberly - posted on 09/04/2009

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My frat twin girls started kindergarten this year and I decided to keep them in the same class. I let them choose this year because they both were in the same Pre-k class and did well together. They sit at different sides of the class and have different friends, It has worked out for me because I can be at all their events for the class. I wouldn't have a problem seperating them either though, because all of the Kindergarten classes in the school are doing the same lessons and have lunch/recess/ and fieldtrips together. There are a lot of twins in my girls school and I think that they are the only set that chose to stay together. My girls are so very different that I have never had a problem with teachers or classmates calling them "the twins". Although that has been an issue for a few of the other twins in the school. So either way, I think that as long as you prepare them, they will be fine.

Debbie - posted on 09/03/2009

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my twin boys were in the same class for the 1st 2 years of school and i had them split after that and found they get on with their work much better now as they are no longer distracting each other, since they were seperated they both have much better annual reports.

they dont mind being seperated as they still get to see each other at play times.

so in my personal experience i would say seperate classes are much better, hope this helps x

Noelle - posted on 09/03/2009

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Hi. I have boy/girl twins 6 y/o (as well as other children). The twins I separated from kindergarden. They both had different interests and friends and worked out well. I unfortunately did a lot of running from class to class but it was better for them. I put them in the same class this year because I notice they don't pay much attention to each other anyway. My girlfriend has identical twin girls. She left them in same class last year and realized they were too dependent on each other. This year (1st grade) she has split them up. In hindsight, she says she wished she split them up last year. All my teacher friends say they prefer to have them split up. Good luck.

Deb - posted on 09/02/2009

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My twins are 14 yrs now and I believe seperating is the way to go.... it's better for them to interact and develop as individuals .... not always as a team against the world......and with some twins one will be domant and the other withdrawn.....the quieter twins needs the opportunity to develop strong communication skill without reling on the sibling..... just my opion

Deb - posted on 09/02/2009

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Quoting Tracy:

I have always separated mine. Every year since Kindergarten. I have never regretted it. They started middle school last week so now I have no control over it! But I recommend separating. Harder on the parent, but better for (most) twins. At least for me. Just my opinion.



I agree ..... seperate and yes it is harder on the parent..... but the children do so much better as individuals and develop their own personalities likes dislikes etc.....

Deb - posted on 09/02/2009

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my twin boys are now 14 yrs of age and we had to seperate them in school for the same reason.... My thought on the fact that they aren't fighting at home as much is because they are developing individually at school and feel secure in that fact, so the competion isn't as great....we did try to put them back together during JR it didn't go well and they were seperated again during the year.......when they are together all day, the line between home behavior and public behavior narrows and there are spill overs.... that's where teachers just get lost.... My boys are boy, boy....they are tough and they know how to push each others buttons.... if they were mad at school they knew what to say or do to get the other to react creating an issue in the class......They are individual people and when they are together to much the people around them create the comparisions and that creates conflicts for them......

Connie - posted on 08/31/2009

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My 8 year twins are very competive with each other therefore I decided to place them in separate classes since 1st grade. The are in the 3rd grade now and they get along better at home and they dont fight as they use to when they were 4 years olds always wanted what the other had..I hear though girls are much easier than boys in school. My twins are very active that I dont feel a teacher would be able to handle them together without getting any gray hair.lol

Mary - posted on 08/31/2009

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When my girls (now 16) were starting school their teacher was concerned that they would only cling to eachother and miss out on socializing with new children. Boy was she wrong!! They developed their own interests and friends. Only when each was 'needed' (tears prerequisite) did they come and help.

It is easier to have them in the same classes specifically for homework purposes: same homework means nothing gets left undone, someone to work with therefore reinforcing ideas and concepts and time management - repeating yourself 1 week or 1 month after one child's class has already covered material. Not really a concern in grade 1 but, when it is grade 7 or worse, grade 10 it will be to your and their advantage.

Chris - posted on 08/31/2009

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My twins girls are separate and love it. They did and do everything together and had a hard time at first being separate. But, they enjoy doing different things at different times and having unique friends, too. They are each their own person instead of the other's twin.

Tracy - posted on 08/30/2009

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I have always separated mine. Every year since Kindergarten. I have never regretted it. They started middle school last week so now I have no control over it! But I recommend separating. Harder on the parent, but better for (most) twins. At least for me. Just my opinion.

Nicole - posted on 08/30/2009

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Yes I do. I have 3rd grade boys and they have been in separate classes since 1st grade. It was harder for me to gandle than for my boys. They adjusted just fine and I thilnk it was the best decision.

****** - posted on 08/30/2009

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Hello, I have 6 year old twin boys whom are in first grade in seperate class rooms. This has been good for them because they are able to be independent and not focus on one another. I think they benefit much more being seperated, although difficult choice to make since they have never been apart! Good luck with whatever decison you choose.

KIM - posted on 08/30/2009

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Hi there....I have 6 year old identical girls. They are very inseparable but did fine in separate classes in kindergarden. Their school does not place twins together, so i really didn't have a choice. They adjusted well last year and this year, in first grade they still are happy about it. I feel they don't fight as much as they used to because they are ready to see each other at the end of the day. If i would have had a choice, i probably would have separted them anyway. it really neat though this year.....they are in separate classes but only across the hall form each other. They are in the gifted program and so they do get to have at least one class every wednesday together. Its amazing to watch them and how they love each other so much. I am blessed and i hope this finds you blessed as well.....Sincerely, Kim Edmonds

Luana Milburn - posted on 08/30/2009

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Quoting Alison:

Grade 1 Twins - same class or separate?

Hi Twin mums, I have fraternal girl twins heading into Grade 1 this Sept. Have just decided to separate them due to intense rivallry - they wont be happy as they want to be together!

Has anyone got any experience of twins at school and making the decision to place them separately???? Feedback PLEASE!!!!

Alison



I have fraternal twins, boy/girl.  They are 11 years old have I have kept them separate since formal schooling at age 3.  They have done excellent apart because, in my case, I found one twin tobe the dominate one.  She answered all questions and handled all of her brother's affairs ever since she 11 mos old.  When they went to school at 3, she used to leave her class to tend to her brother.  As an educator myself, I felt it very important to separate them and my son has had to fend for himself since preschool.  He has let her be in control at home,but since they are hitting pre-puberty.......they are changing...we'll see what 6th grade brings!  I think you should separate them...that's just my opinion.

Heather - posted on 08/30/2009

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I have always seperated my twin boys. The only exception was pre-school. My twins are now in the 7th grade. Remember they are two different children with seperate needs. They will learn to be themselves and not be distingusted as the other twin. Finding themselves is very important.

Claudia - posted on 08/30/2009

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I have identical twins who are now 11 yrs old & on their 1st yr of jr high...all through elememtary yrs, I kept them together, never had a problem with them being together cause I knew tht coming jr hi yrs, they would be seperated...they did well & became their own person & developed good independence of one another..Even when they were together in elementary, they had their own friends, very competitive of one another, different in every way...I have suggested that they remain in same team in school but different classes, although, they have each other for several classes. It has worked out just fine & very happy with our decisin in keeping them together.. Good Luck!!





Claudia

Kathy - posted on 08/30/2009

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My identical twin boys are now 20. They went to preschool together at 4 and I had hoped it would go well to seperate them in Kindergarten. By the 2nd week of school, I was in the principals office making them put them together. One did not do well apart. He cried b/c he wanted to just give his brother a hug at lunch and couldn't. They went to 1st grade together and after that I allowed the school to pick. They were again together in the 4th grade. That didn't work too well, others kidded them about wearing their brothers clothes. By middle school, 6th grade, they were on different "teams". One had to do a science fair project the other didn't. It was nice to only help with one project but I had to endure the cries of "he doesn't have to do one why do I". For the rest of the middle school years, I request them be on the same "team" just not in the same homeroom. That way they had all the same teachers with all the same assignments just not in the same classroom. High school they were in the same homeroom due to having the same last name, but they only went to homeroom when they gave out reportcards and such.

I found it easier to allow them to be together in the beginning and then deal with being seperated or together when it came up. They have to learn to do things on their own but they also have to learn how to deal with situations together.

Edwina - posted on 08/30/2009

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I separated my girls (who are in the 1st gr this year) in kindergarden. It was the best thing for us, due to rivalry but also how heavily they relied on one another for certain things. They've done really well and they see each other constantly during the day (lunch, recess, PE, etc). When they get home they are inseparable so its been great for us.

[deleted account]

I have fraternal girls too (now 12) and thought that separating them would be better for "them" it was a bit harder for me being that their homework varies a bit but it is worth it. They will be together for the rest of their lives and this helps them to make friends on their own. I hope this helps. Good Luck!

Telicia - posted on 08/29/2009

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I have twin boys who are 10 yrs old. They will be 5th graders this year. They have been separated in different class up until now. This will be the first year for them to be together in the same classroom. They both have their own personalities and that's what twins fight for. My boys are set number six out of a family of 10 sets right now. Separating them will be hard at first but when they get their own friends it amazing. Good Luck!!!

Vincetta - posted on 08/29/2009

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My fraternal twin girls are now 14 and entering high school. They have been in separate classes since pre-school, except for 2nd grade when they requested to be in the same class. It was not a good fit for them. One daughter at the time was doing much better in school than the other, who needed special reading classes. She felt overshadowed by her better reader sister and did not do well that year in school. I put them back in separate classes the next year and they have been separate ever since and they seem to be happy with it. They are very close and overlap with friends and interests, but they are at their best in school when they are in their own classes.

Gina - posted on 08/29/2009

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As a mother of 12 yr old identical twin daughters, they have been separated in school since Kindergarten and I am not sure if it was the best for them. Yes, it is good for them to have their separate friends and socialize apart, but I believe they would have had the twin rivalry to get them on the way to learning. Which means they would have pushed to be better than the other one which is good at the very beginning of the learning stage. My opinion of course. Also, they would have been taught the same things the same exact ways and been able to help each other out. My girls had 2 totally different styles of teaching which made one of them a little slower to grasp. Now that they are in the 6th grade, they could have been separated when they were in maybe the 3rd grade and that would have started the individualism that they needed. Remember they are twins and they push each other. Their learning is developing and having 2 different styles made it more difficult for them. I am not saying that either teacher was not capable of teaching the girls, I just feel that it would have been better for them to have the same teaching to start their learning process. They would have worked together in that developing stage. Gianna and Gabriela have been individuals for a long time, but I still feel that the first couple of years in school would have helped their learning development because they would have pushed each other.

Barfield - posted on 08/28/2009

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Hi Im a mother of two sets of twins. Fraternal girls and a boy and girl and in my experience it was a lot easier to seperate them because together they were always getting into trouble with doing the other ones work in class. Also it shows where each ones strengths are.

Jennifer - posted on 08/28/2009

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They should be separate. My twins are now age 7 and are doing great in school due to me separating them when they first started school at age 3. They will not only be able to have their own indentities but also be able to learn at their own pace. You don't want one to be dependent on the other just because they are in the same class. Besides the teacher will always refer to them as the twins because they would be in the same class and you don't want that.

Holly - posted on 08/28/2009

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I have fraternal twin girls who are very close to each other, yet, get on one another's nerves sometimes. We separated them when they got to second grade. At the end of first grade, by the time they got home they had had enough of each other. So we knew to separate them for second. They are now in the fourth grade and are with each other for most of the day. It is working out well.

Andrea - posted on 08/28/2009

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I've got two boys, just started first grade. They're in the same class, but they do well together. I asked their teacher last year what she recommended, and then I asked them what they wanted (because I didn't want them to feel like we were tearing them apart). She said they could probably benefit by separating them, but since they aren't too competitive that I could wait a year or two. Most of the other twins in their school are in separate classes, many parents like to give them their individuality. I've also taught twins at all elementary levels, and find it really depends on the kids. If they compete, it's good to give them something of their own. Good luck, hope this year goes well.

Rachel - posted on 08/28/2009

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I have had my 9 year olds in separate classes ever since kindergarten. In Preschool it seemed like the more shy twin hid behind his more outgoing brother, but now that they have been apart, both have developed socially enough where we had a few notes home from the teachers saying they need to stop talking to the kids next to them.....They have their own friends....enough to invite them all to the park and have seperate teams for football.

Kelly - posted on 08/28/2009

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I'm a Kindergarten teacher, and I've always felt that twins (and other multiples) do better when they are separated! They build more independence and will be happy in the long run!!

Beth - posted on 08/28/2009

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my girls are in second grade we have had them in separate classroom since preschool

they do great they make new friends & don't depend on each other so much

Beth

Kathy - posted on 08/28/2009

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My twin girls are 11. Up until this last year (5th grade) they were always in seperate classes. I was thankful for that because one girl really really overpowered the other. Breanna would NEVER talk to anyone she didnt know, or smile or answer questions...until kindegarten when her sister was not there to hide behind. This past year they shared a class for the first time, and it was actually nice because they had the same homework for once and we could work on it together!! Good luck

Amanda - posted on 08/28/2009

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I have 2 and a half yr old twin boys, and i am suspecting that i will want them together in kindergarten, but ill be okay with them being separated in 1st grade. Kindergarten is such a big step to begin with, and being twins and always used to eachother i dont want it to be a huge shock to them. This entire discussion will give me some help! thanks for the question!

Heather - posted on 08/28/2009

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I have twin girls that are now 10, they are entering 5th grade and have been in the same class all through school. I noticed that they have there own friends at school and really do not play together at school. I have one girl that is very responsible and the other who is a little forgetful. If one forgets something the other has it. They are study buddies also.

[deleted account]

I separated my frat. twin girls at first grade. They just started high school and it hasn't bothered them one bit.

Lori - posted on 08/28/2009

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Hi Alison,
I separated them in 4th grade, and no looking back, should have done it sooner. It helped in every way including making them accountable for them selves. They got along better, formed there own identity yet are still twins to the bone.
Hope this helps, Lori

Susan - posted on 08/28/2009

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It is very depended on the kids themselves. If they are going to fight and the teacher will have problems because they are together by all means keep them apart. If they want to be together let the know up front that you are willing to do this but if it becomes a problem in the furture they may not be allowed to be in the same class. Keep in contact with the teacher to make sure they are making friends with the other kids and not just hanging out together.



If one is very depended on the other one you should try separation to see if that will help them. But be prepared to have to put them back together if it is not helping. When mine were 3 my son depended on his sister to interpret what he was saying for us. When the daycare put her in the four year old class he had to learn how to enuciate so the adults would understand him. It did helped that I had a boy and a girl that are now SENIORS. I asked them what they wanted to do and they wanted to be apart. Everything went well. This year they got placed in the same Math class much to sisters dismay. I know other parents that made the school put them into the same class because that way you had the same homework. That is always a thing to consider because it is a nightmare sometimes having two sets of spelling words etc.



Good Luck. You know what is best for your kids. Don't let the school bully you into doing something that you know is not a good situation for your kids.

Andrea - posted on 08/28/2009

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My 12 yo twin girls have always been separated. At least it helps with the sibling rivalry at school. They seem to like it. They are very different from eachother and have their own circle of friends. I think it is especially helpful to separate them if they are shy, too. It will help them form friends other than just with eachother.

Danielle - posted on 08/28/2009

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Hey Alison!!! I have 6 yr old identical twins and they just entered Kindergarten. I wanted them separated because they have ALWAYS been together. I tried to take one to the store for 5 minutes by herself and we hadn't left the driveway and she said she missed her sister. They get along great but I knew it was time for them to gain a little independence. I also prepped them last fall and told them that they would each have their own class so that it wasn't just thrust upon them and gave them anxiety.

They went to the Open house and found their rooms and were only excited to start the next day. And after that first day I asked them how they liked it and they said that they did like being part. One even went as far as to adimently say that it needed to stay that way!!! I have seen a big change in their overall attitudes and I would recommend that you do it. Make sure to make them understand all the positives that come from being separated because all they can see is the one negative of not being together. Good luck and I hope this helps!!

[deleted account]

I have twin boys (fraternal) and they were separated since Kindergarten and now going to grade one as well. I was scared to do it at first but the teachers encouraged it and I have no regrets. They have their own group of friends and they don't depend on each other anymore. They always see each other during recess and lunch and have the option to either play together or with their own group of friends. Good luck!

Kelli - posted on 08/27/2009

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My twin sister and I are fraternal and we were separated in first grade, I didn't like it at the time, I was just a little more on the shy side then her, but I think it helped me to find my own friends and not let Kerri dictate our plans. I would suggest you go ahead with it. That rivalry will always be there, as in any siblings.

Liz - posted on 08/27/2009

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My twins aren't old enough yet for this, but my sister has a set of 5 year old twin boys. Since preschool she separated the two of them, and they love it.

Leanna - posted on 08/27/2009

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My twin girls will be going into Pre-K next year, and I have already decided that I want them in different classrooms. Mainly because Torrie, the older twin, tends to rely on Tessa, the younger one, to break the ice so to speak when meeting other people and even other kids. Torrie tends to be very shy. It is very rare she will even approach other family members without first waiting for Tessa to do it. I want them to learn to be there own person without relying on the fact that they are twins and will always have each other around. I want them to be able to function as a independent individual without having any co-dependencies on their twin to make up for their own social short comings. Hopefully this works for the better of them. But if I see that it is not I plan on putting them back together and maybe try separating later on in school and see if they handle better then.

[deleted account]

my girls just started second grade and i intentionally put them in seperate classes each year. madison is very dependant [she still cries every morning when i take her to school b/c she doesn't want to leave me] and i wanted her to have to do it herself. katherine on the other hand wouldn't care either way. but i wanted madison to have to make her own friends and do things herself instead of depending on katherine. i really think it depends on your children though. its just something you'll have to work on... if it doesn't work seperate this year, i'd put them together next year.... just see which works better!

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