Having a single after twins, I need support!

Vicky - posted on 01/26/2010

Hey Monica,

my twin girls were 2.5 years old when Hana was born. I was nervous to take her home but everything went really good. They were never Jealous. They had eachother. Don't woory and enjoy your third baby. My relationchip with Hana is more intense and much better then I had with the twins but they don't even see it. They don't need us like another child does. They are eachoters best friend and we are second base ;-)
Good luck!!!

Angie - posted on 01/26/2010

My twins turned 12 yesterday, and I have a 5 yr old boy. So I had 5 1/2 years between my kids. It was much easier the second time only having one, but the I got all the help I needed and some I didn't want. But I still really enjoy it all. The big boys anooy the younger one and just the oppisite. It's a joy having all boys.

Perez - posted on 01/25/2010

My twins were 7 months when I found out I was pregnant I cried alot because I thought I wasnt going to be able to handle it but I can tell u this from my experience it is alot easier because it is only one born at the time and also enjoyed it alot more because with the twins it was alot more work....although my twins were 16 months old when the baby was born they adapted well with the baby I kept my twins on a routine that made things easier for me and I survived. Good Luck

Ciera - posted on 01/25/2010

I am in your same boat! I have 11 month old b/g twins and I am now 10 weeks pregnant with only one this time. I am very nervous. My twins will be 18 months when this one is born and I am not sure what to expect from them. This pregnancy was not planned but I am very excited about it. The excitement doesn't get rid of the nerves though. I just keep telling myself, other people have done this and if they can do it, I can do it. It might be hard, I will have to quit working and most likely quit school for now but I keep reminding myself about how much they (the twins) are going to love being "big sissy" and "big brother". They get along so well together so I am just hoping that this little one will (eventually bc I know they will need an adjustment period) be as loved by them as they are with each other.

TONYA - posted on 01/24/2010

My twins were also 3 when my other son was born. They were my "little helpers" and "big brothers". I tried to involve them when I could, but made sure they also got my attention. It is a juggling act; but, as the mother of twins, you can already juggle. Best of luck and we're all here for you.

Ashley - posted on 01/24/2010

I know how you feel, except mine was opposite haha, I have an 1 yr old son and 4 week old twins. I got pregnant with my twins when my son was 3 months old. I'm not going to lie and say it's easy, it's hectic, but it's not that bad. Although my son is younger than your girls and doesnt really understand, he still gets a little bit jealous from time to time. Luckily newborns sleep a lot, so I have time with my son and he doesnt feel excluded. I also found that including him in the things I do with the twins really makes him happy and a lot less anxious and jealous. When I'm feeding the twins their bottles somtimes I allow my son to sit on my lap and help mommy hold the bottle. He just holds the end, but it still makes him feel like he's helping. When the twins are having tummy time, my son likes to lay on the ground with them and kiss their foreheads and pet their hair. Sometimes it's hard because he's so young and sometimes doesnt understand "be gentle", but with your girls being a little bit older, and especially since they're girls they may enjoy "helping mommy". Maybe get them baby dolls, if they don't already have some and teach them how to be gentle with babies and stuff like that. I really think the key is to keep the older child involved with the baby so that they don't feel left out and they still feel needed! Good luck! (this one will be a breeze, you won't have to be up as long at night! :)

Neen - posted on 01/24/2010

I had twin boys first,and followed with a little girl just over a year later,and to be honest everything just falls into place,in fact its easier then you think.Because you had twins first your used to a heavy work load feeding changing etc,and when your other little addition comes along you realise how little you have to do 2nd time around,and you realise how much time you'll have to enjoy your baby with your twins and this is time you can spend just sitting together,letting them touch and kiss the baby and all this helps them to bond,children act out when there stopped from touching the baby or pushed to one side and so get jealous,so my advoce is to let them spend as much time interacting with the baby and you as possible,you show them how to touch baby softly etc and you'll be surprised at how much they understand believe me,its amazing and my boys where younger than yours when i had my little girl so your twins will proberly understand more:)
Twins adapt brilliantly to a new addition because it dose not effect the bond they have with eachother.
Hope that helped :)

Nicole - posted on 01/23/2010

My twins tured 4 about 2 weeks after my youngest was born June 20th of last year. They did very well my youngest of the twins John was very helpfull when Clay was born he would tell anyone that would listen it was his baby!!!! When he cried he was right there so no problems now with James the oldest twin he could of cared less he was more upset he had to stay with grandparents when I was in the hospital. It is easy after having twins.

Lisa - posted on 01/23/2010

We decided to have another baby when our twins turned 3. We figured that if we could handle twins, we could handle whatever came next. Our 3rd son was born 3 years 9 1/2 months after his brothers. There was minor jealousy but nothing we couldn't handle. We had a summer baby so it was easy to get out and about with everyone pretty quickly. I kept them in as much of a routine as I possibly could. We had playdates with their friends at the local park or wherever and that kept everyone happy. When they went back to school (preschool), it was 3 mornings a week. I used that time to do what needed to be done so that when the baby napped in the afternoon, I could give my big boys the attention they needed. They are 12 and 8 now and get along as well as could be expected from any other siblings. It is definitely doable :o)

Laura - posted on 01/23/2010

I have twin 9 year old boys and a 3 year old boy. My boys were older than your girls are, but they handled it well over all. Some jeolously...sharing with each other can be bad enough for twins at times...but I focused on how big they were, what they could do, etc...actually having one baby seemed so much easier in all aspects. I could enjoy holding him without feeling rushed. My little one also behaves a lot differently than my twins did at each stage. He wants to be a big kid, and he learns from them good and bad.

Heather - posted on 01/22/2010

My twins were 1 when my third was born. They didn't pay much attention to her, but now it is like they are triplets. I would recommend that you involve them as much as possible with the before activities and then when the baby comes invite them to help. Also I know it will be hard but when the baby is napping make that their special time with mom where you do something with them that you can't do while the baby is awake, like play doh or painting, etc. I am sure you will do fine and they will be fine. Congratulations!

Niki - posted on 01/22/2010

My situation is a little different because my twins were 7 years old before I had another one but there are some similarities. First off, it is sooooo much easier to have just 1!! All I ever knew was how to take care of twins and I was so used to everything taking twice as long and being twice the amount of work. Having one has been a breeze so far, she is 16 months now. Feedings, baths, diaper changes, bedtime, everything is done in half the time. The other great thing is that you will have 2 little helpers that can bring you a diaper or a blanket or whatever it is when you need and they will probably be proud to help out. I would expect especially at the age your twins are that they will be a little jealous but just make sure that they get lots of attention still and are included in the things you do with the baby as much as possible. They will get over it fast I know my twins did and they just love and adore their little sister! Im sure everything will work out great! Good luck and congrats!

Kerri - posted on 01/22/2010

My twins were almost 2 when I had my 3rd girl. They were great! Loved her to death. They learn quickly you cant be there for every little thing and they have each other- so its ok.

Mary - posted on 01/22/2010

My twincesses were 22 months old when we welcomed our son. I think that because they have each other, it is slightly easier. I may be wrong though. We had zero problems with them resenting the baby or being jealous. They even wanted to nurse baby brother (awesome pictures of that, ha!). When you get closer, just start talking to them more about it. Let them know that you'll need their help (they can get Mommy diapers, wipes, blankets, etc). They'll love helping out! Good luck!

Ronda - posted on 01/21/2010

My twin boys were2 1/2 when my last son was born. They did great. They helped me get things for him. I think the best thing is just get them involved as much as possible. They will think they are big girls for helping and just make them a part of it all. I all so read childrens books to them about have a baby brother or sister. Hope that helps. Good luck!

Monica - posted on 01/21/2010

Wow, thanks everyone so much! I didn't think I would get this much response, I'm happy I wrote on here :) The main things I'm worried about are my twins resenting the baby, or acting out because they're angry with me/baby. I will definately get them involved as much as I can. They have 2 baby cousins, and absolutely love them and try to help all the time. I'm also worried about the lack of sleep for the first couple of months, and all the other things that come with a new baby AND having to raise my twins at the same time. It wasn't that hard with twins, everything went by so fast! So Im really hoping this baby will be easy :)

Angie - posted on 01/21/2010

After having twins, I had a single boy. It's hard getting use to only doing one thing at a time. But we have managed, I have now gotten all my kids in school this year. My twins help out with my youngest one, some times a little too much. Good luck.

Rachel - posted on 01/21/2010

That was me, but mine where 12 months apart. I hear you!!!!! Don't be nervous, the best thing I found is turn your twins into helpers. Get them to get nappies and clothes etc for the baby when it is born, etc. I know they will take longer to do what you want done NOW, but it will be much easier for you in the long run. You will be surprised as to how much they can help and will help with some encouragement and treats now and then. Make sure the twins are still getting there special Mum & Dad time, and there special cuddles as well. If it is all about the baby that is when they will start to act up. Remember kids at this age really are only naughty because they are not getting enough play time with you or just time with you full stop. And remember if you where not able to handle this then the universe would not of blessed you with number 3. You will have challenging moments, but hey you have survived twins right, so another will not make a difference, promise.... hope I have helped...

Brittany - posted on 01/20/2010

Hi!!! I'm new to the group and can completely understand where your coming from. I have a 5yr old, a set of 2 yr old twins and I just had my last child in December of 09. All I can say is introduce them to the baby by letting them rub on your tummy, tell them it's a baby in there and the he or she loves them. Get them excited about the baby!!! I did this with my twins and when the baby came home, my son was so excited to see him. His twin sister, she was a little scared of the baby. I think because she thought he was a toy and he started moving. IDK, kids!!! Eventually, she got use to him and wants to help out alot now. I also just showed them tons of love!!! It gets easier to spread the love once the baby is here. No worries hun, sit back and just enjoy the pregnancy.

Nichole - posted on 01/20/2010

My twin girls were only 16 months old when my son was born. And the twins were premature so they were still tiny and just learned to walk. So when he was born it was as if I had triplets. It was stressful but I wouldnt have it any other way. Your girls are at the perfect age where they will be so willing to help you with small things and be involved with the baby, its going to be a great experience for you, things may get rough but your going to have so many happy wonderful moments with the 3 of them, the worrying will pass. I felt the same way during the second pregnancy :)

Teresa - posted on 01/20/2010

My twins were twice the age of your when their brother was born, so my experience is probably a bit different. I have been a single mom since the day my son was born though, so it's definitely doable! :)

Dorothy - posted on 01/20/2010

My first set of twins turned 3 right after I brought my singleton home....had no issues. I told them there was going to be a new baby and prepared them the best I could :) Having one after twins is SOOOOOO easy! we are now expecting a second set of twins and are trying to prepare all 3 siblings :) Good luck to you and your family it will be just fine :)

Michelle - posted on 01/20/2010

It's so easy with one after having two. I have four boys all about 2 years apart (didn't plan it that way, just happened). What I found that there were just minor adjustment issues when I brought the baby home. What I found was my identical twins have each other and are super close, so it wasn't really a big deal. I had more issues with my single, third child when I brought my fourth home.

Is there anything specific that you are worried about?

Amanda - posted on 01/20/2010

I would also let them know that you are not going to love them anyless now that there is a new baby. A lot of kids get the feeling that they are less loved now that their is a new baby in the home. Just give them all the hugs and kisses that they need just let them now that when the baby first comes home that you are going to have to spend a little more time with the baby just so you can get her used to being at home and getting used to the surrounding but still let them be involved with that

Amanda - posted on 01/20/2010

Just get them prepared for the new baby. Let them knwo that they are going to be BIG SISTERS and they are going to have a big job helping out with the new baby... Let them be involved as much as they can. My sister in law just had another baby and she has a set of 4 year old twin boys and at first they were really upset about it but after awhile they started getting excited especially after putting her room together and they were able to help. We got them shirts that said I'M THE BIG BROTHER maybe you can do something like that.. I wish you the best of luck

Stefanie - posted on 01/20/2010

I unfortunately do not really have any tips, just more of words of encouragment. You Can Do It! As the twins grew up with each other and are used to having to split mommy's time, I would think that they will not give you too much of a problem. Other then that, I can totally understand your fear. I have a 5 1/2 yr old boy, then twin 2 yr boys, and am expecting another July 4th. (so hoping for a girl this time). When I found out I was expecting the twins, I immediately started asking my oldest how he was going to help mommy out with the babies. He got to choose his own "baby" chores to help mommy with the new baby brothers. I let him help pick out toys and blankets and clothes for them, to help him feel important, a true Big Brother. I had very few problems with him. Now, the twins are used to keeping each other occupied and seem to fight over Big Brother's attention more then mommy's right now. Hopefully it will stay that way. All I can really say is Expect problems, you will never get away with not having them. But try to include them in as much as you can when it comes to the new baby. Putting the room together, picking out baby stuff. When the baby comes, have one responsible for things like keeping track of the binky, and the other the blankey. Sometimes giving them responsibilities with the new baby makes a huge difference, they feel like a bigger part of the family. Good Luck!