How can I keep from losing my cool?

Melissa - posted on 04/12/2011 ( 35 moms have responded )

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Hello Fellow Twin Mommies!

I've never posted on this board before but was hoping someone out there could give me some advice or insight....I am a working mother to 15 month old fraternal twin girls, Ava & Olivia. While I love them more then life itself I find myself having a hard time connecting with them not to mention the fact that my husband is driving me crazy. My husband is a SAHD while I work full time and am the sole provider for the family. One of my girls still gets up in the middle of the night and my husband won't get up with her because he claims he "doesn't hear her", so I get up with her, then get up for work, am gone from 7am-5pm and the second I walk in the door my husband takes off in the car for hours claiming he "needs a break" while I'm left to cook dinner, clean, do laundry, bath time and put the girls to bed. Ummm yeah I know it's hard for him to watch the girls all day but don't but I ever get a break? He claims the weekends are his days off so I get up with them at night, in the morning and take care of them all day while he sleeps. It seems like there are never enough hours in the day so I find myself taking my frustrations out on the girls and I don't want them to see me as "the mommy that always yells" but I'm just exhausted. Not to mention they are at that age now where they are throwing tantrums and screaming fits and nothing ever calms them down. Some days I feel like the worse mother in the world because I can't get everything done while other days I feel so resentful towards my husband because I feel like I'm entitled to a break every once in awhile as well. Any thoughts as to how I can keep my cool better with my babies and still try and be Super Mom? How I can get my Husband to see that I need help and a break now and then too? He's a great father but not the best husband so having a conversation about it is not really an option anymore because he just gets mad and starts screaming at me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

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Karen - posted on 04/15/2011

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It sounds like the issue is really your marriage and not your twins. Marriage is a team effort, and he is not being a team player. Maybe you should both consider counseling? And if he won't go, you could still go to have an outlet for yourself.

It is a well-known fact that marriages with twins/ multiples have a much higher rate of problems/ divorce. And while you don't necessarily want to end things, he needs to understand his end of the responsibilities. Long term you will only grow to resent him more and more. That's no marriage. I am finding more and more that guys of our generation are perfectly willing to sit back and let the women do everything while they do nothing. I think this is partially because all of us girls were taught we could do everything and anything. The boys were not empowered like we were (born in the 70's & 80's). But sounds like he need to grow up a bit. (hope this doesn't sound too harsh!)

Michelle - posted on 04/14/2011

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I can sort of relate to your husband. Mainly, because my husband and I had sort of similar issues. I didn't take off when he got home but did want some time to myself and such. I always felt that when I'm home taking care of the children that was my job while my husband was at work. When he comes then we co-parent. But it's still hard doing it 24 hours a day 375 days a year. It gets overwhelming and tiring.



We ended up doing marriage counseling to help sort out our expectations and meet in the middle. What we ended up doing was whatever time he got to himself, I got the same amount for myself. When he got home we both co-parented. My husband and I also take turns making dinner and we each have our own chores. Now we aren't so rigid on equal time and such.



Your husband could be feeling confined to the house and lonely. I don't know if he would be comfortable about joining a Mom's Club or signing up for activities with the toddlers, or finding things to do to get out of the house and meeting other people. When I was in my local Mom's Club we had Stay at Home Dad's. Our local Boys and Girls Club has an Indoor Park during the school year and there were other dad's there.



Probably what's most important you both have to be willing to talk, listen, respect, and compromise. It's hard if one doesn't want to.



My husband and I both had to make some hard decisions about what we wanted out of each other, our marriage, and our family. We both decided our marriage was worth it and we continue to work on it. It's a work in progress and not easy some days.



Try not to get so frustrated. I know easier said than done. Do what you can. There is no perfect house. Give yourself timeouts by telling your husband you are coming home an hour later. Go to the library to relax, go to the local shopping center to walk around, go take a workout or yoga class, whatever. Make a once a month dinner and/or movie date with your girlfriends or a once a month bunco night. Also, don't forget to spend time with your husband. If you can't afford a babysitter try and parent share with other parents. That's what my husband and I do. Once a month our friends and I take turns watching each others kids.



Good luck and hope everything works out!

Kelly - posted on 04/13/2011

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It sounds like you are out of options. It is what it is and your husband is unwilling to help anymore then he already does. I think the first thing you have to do is accept the fact that he is not the husband that you had hoped for and decide if you want to continue living like this. I am a SAHM and I can not imagine leaving the minute my husband gets home or not being a mom on the weekends. Honestly, I think that it is sad that he is not even willing to talk about it and work out a plan that works for the both of you. Is there a plan for once the girls are in school? Will he be going to work or will he continue to stay home? Maybe it will be better then. In the meantime just try and cherish the time you have with your girls. They will grow up so fast.

Jessica - posted on 04/13/2011

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I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. It was difficult for me just reading this. the first thing I was going to say was sit down and talk with your husband let him know how you feel but then I read the last couple of lines sounds like it wouldn't help much. Do you have any family or friends that can help you out? My husband and I live at least 4 hours away from any family so we are on our own. he works and I stay at home and go to school, but he is very helpful with everything. I hate hearing how dads say they need a break for its no their turn. Moms need it too, no matter the situation. We recently got bikes and a trailer for our girls to ride in and that is a nice break for me. I put them in it with some juice and a toy and I go riding. They love it and its a quiet ride for me. I know I still have them with me but I'm not chasing them and keeping them from getting into things. Have you thought about a gym membership? I have heard from friends that it really helps get the frustrations out and most places offer the daycare so you can take them with you if need be. I really wish there was something else I could say or do. Good luck with everything.

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Dorothy - posted on 04/28/2011

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Hello Melissa .... I am in no way in the same situation but I am a single mom of 6 year old boy-girl twins, doing it all on my own without the help (financially or otherwise) from the father. I am living with my Mom and she is a great help. It's so hard keeping your cool when there is so much on your plate. Maybe you could at least plan 1 night out for yourself to do whatever you like .... mani-pedi or coffee date with a friend. Whatever you need to unwind. But, maybe you and Hubby need to have a date night together. Find a cheapie movie theatre and spend some time together. I can see that you have definately lost that loving feeling and need to re-kindle that.

Just some thoughts ......

Susan - posted on 04/26/2011

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Dear one We each took turns with our new twins. Each of us tuned our ears to one child. When one cried that parent in charge automatically woke to attened our child. When other one cried the other one of us attended to it. My ears were tuned to one child. Bah humbug on husband not helping with twins. That is to big of a Blessing to miss taking care of twins. We Were both blessed fully the day our twins learned to eat by themselves. Two crying at once when they smelt dinner cooking. hHehehee
Work together makes Blessed Day of Care Giving to our children. This carries to older ages also.
Susan

Alda - posted on 04/22/2011

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Melissa, I agree with some of the others on here about your marriage. As a therapist, I can tell you that counselling will only work if you both want to. Maybe consider putting the twins in a kindergarten for a morning or two per week so he can have a break and fewer excuses? Maybe do yours and the children's laundry but leave his dirty? I found that worked very well with my late husband lol. I'm a SAHM with 2.5 year old twins and my partner is great. He works shifts which works well, and if I need to get away for a few hours all I have to do is ask. Seriously, twins are hard work and it takes two to take care of them. Being a SAHD is the same as being a SAHM but we don't get to 'take off' over weekends while they have to watch the kids after a long week at work. It's teamwork. Maybe your hubby should get a job, even part time, so that you can afford childcare for the kiddies and then you can both have a break away from them. Or, and I feel horrible saying this - if your marriage is beyond saving then get out and find happiness somewhere else. Hope all works out and good luck x

Laree - posted on 04/21/2011

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WELL, FIRST I HAVE TO SAY I TRUELY FEEL FOR YOUR SITUATION.ARE YOUR FAMILIES FAR AWAY?IF NOT DON'T HESITATE TO CALL THEM IN TO HELP,AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE A SUPER MOM,FIRST OFF THERE IS NO SUCH THING.SOMETIMES SOME PEOPLE APEAR THAT WAY BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA FOR SURE.GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK AS FAR AS THAT GOES.IF YOU CAN'T TALK TO THE MAN I JUST DON'T SEE HOW THINGS CAN CHANGE.IF YOU GO TO CHURCH,I SUGGEST YOUR MINISTER COME OVER TO COUNCEL.
YOU DO TRUELY NEED A BREAK,HOW ABOUT YOU TELL YOUR HUSBAND YOU UNDERSTAND HE NEEDS A BREAK BUT YOU DO AS WELL SO EVERYOTHER WEEKEND TRADE OFF,I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE DOES OR WHERE HE GOES BUT IF HES GONE MAYBE A NEIGHBOR S DAUGHTER CAN COME OVER A FEW HOURS TO WATCH THE BABIES WHILE YOU GO IN YOUR ROOM,TAKE A LONG BATH WITH BUBLES CANDLES AND A GLASS OF WINE,GIVE YOURSELF A FACIAL,PAINT YOUR NAILS TAKE A NAP,REGROUP.TIME FOR YOURSELF IS A MUST,YOU WILL BE A BETTER MOMMIE FOR IT.I WISH I HAD MORE ADVICE BUT THIS IS ALL I CAN THINK OF THATS A QUICK FIX FOR NOW.GOOD LUCK GOD BLESS.LAREE (MOMMIE OF 27 YR OLD TWINS,YOU DO GET THROUGH IT)

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um amanda..salt in wounds much? I know you meant it nicely and am happy when a twin mom or even any mom has a good partner that is supportive. makes for healthier children as healthier family all around. but ouch. don't tell us how great he is unless you're willing to share!

Amanda - posted on 04/19/2011

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Wow, just wow... to all of you ladies going through hard times with your hubbies... whether he stays home or you. I want to thank you all for sharing your stories because you have made my life feel like a fairy tale and i will give my wonderful hubby and twins extra big hugs and kisses tonight.
We all go through hard times.... but there is an answer out there, you just have to find it. Good luck to ALL of you. OX

Kel-Cie - posted on 04/19/2011

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Work "late" on Wednesdays (like 8pm or until the kids are in bed) and tell him Saturdays are his day off and Sunday is yours, leave the house, visit a girl friend, take in a movie, have lunch etc

Penelope - posted on 04/19/2011

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One word on keeping your cool: SLEEP. I'm a bear without it and amazing with. Do your best to get the most sleep you can at any possible time! It helps EVERYTHING including your patience. Don't worry, you're human!! We all lose it...just take care of yourself.

Chairettie - posted on 04/18/2011

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I can't offer advice here because I am a SAHM, I rarely get any kind of break other than to run errands when my husband gets in town (he travels a ton...not home very much at all) and it is becoming more like no time to do anything unless I just do it with the twins. Anywho - I just wanted to say how terrible I feel for you in your situation, your husband is trying but men tend to not deal with these things as well (not an excuse) but I think it is beyond a simple conversation or date nights. He is being very inconsiderate to you and if the shoe were on the other foot he would be all over you like white on rice on how you needed to step up to the plate and be a mom.... :o( I said a prayer for your husband, I hope some day soon he sees what he has and tries to make things better for the family soon :o) I said a prayer for you and your little ones too :o) lots of happy days and hugs ahead of you :o)

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I've gotta throw my 2 cents in here again. I know everyone is giving advice and thoughts from a caring and supportive place...my thoughts are all the go on a date nights and remember they'll one day grow do read as sympathetic and supportive to Melissa but really, c'mon...doesn't it sound like they need some serious counselling to get through this? the last thing I'd want to do is be intimate with or supportive of my husband when he has tantrums and take offs and repeatedly drops the ball so to speak if there is zero communication and respect. Melissa I'm sorry if I'm wrong and I do apologize to anyone that might read this as being insensitive to the advice offered because I am not meaning it that way at all. I am simply meaning that a date night isn't going to bring a couple closer when they can't stand each other! I know the last thing I want with my husband when he is in town and we are fighting is to go for dinner. I think some guys just don't get it as well as others and some problems are too deep to be solved that way. Plus the whole drag the horse to water thing. I'm sorry Melissa, not offering much help here. Just feel for you and I know everyone has good intentions here but might be missing the crux (is that correct?) of the matter here. So my thoughts are can you get him to counselling with/without you? and if so can you get someone to watch the kids while it happens? nevermind that can you get the time off work? some job places offer EAP's (Employee Assistance Prorams) to help witht his kind of stuff (which funnily enough I am off to call for my own situation :)

Lyneen - posted on 04/18/2011

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I feel like your husband should come and hang out with my husband for a while.... I need that break he gets jumping in the car! I know it is frustrating... but remember one day... there will be no one getting up in the middle of the night... and you will miss being needed. I want to pull my hair out almost everyday... sometimes I cry, but i know that I am going to miss the tantrums and the struggle over everything when they are grown and doing their own thing. I know it doesnt help solve the issue, but I hope that it can give you another way to look at things.

Ashley - posted on 04/17/2011

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Hi i agree with laura d find a babysitter for a day off together. Maybe he needs to go back to work and you need to get the girls in daycare him leaving for days cant make you feel safe that is increadably selfish but obviously he cant take it and keeping car keys from him wont help thats not going to repair your relationship and he may start acting worse. I understand your reasoning but thats not healthy for ether of you. Really sit him down tell him you understand how hard it is staying home and let him no its ok dont come of judgmental or angry if he cant stay home u need to make him understand that that is ok, for the safety of your family,( i wouldent say that though) If he truly wants to stay home than things have to change you both deserve a morning sleep in also as for waking at night i hate to say this becouse i feel men should be just as capable for everything but he honestly may not here her its been proven men will wake up to potentel dangers at the drop of a hat but will not wake to a crying baby not sure how to help u other then setting of a fire alarm lol. Counciling is great and hopefully something will wake him up.

Fay - posted on 04/16/2011

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Hi Melissa, my husband is very similar. I work part time hours but the frustration and tiredness is much the same as I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I went for counselling on my own to help with the depression which empowered me to not rush home all the time but to have a little time to myself. My husband and I agreed to us each having one day a month off , he goes fishing, I go to a spa. It has helped relieve some of the tension & resentment. Like yourself I found it difficult to have a discussion with my husband - he would shout me down being 10 yrs older and having had kids before - but I have learnt to trust my instincts and stick to my ground. It is exhausting looking after twins, my boys are very active 3 yr olds. Be kind to yourself. I used to think I was a patient person but have been pushed the limit at times and snapped at my boys. I love them to bits and just hope they understand that mummy is tired. One day they asked me "Are you happy Mummy?" and I just burst into tears. You're not on your own! Hope the marriage counselling helps. God bless you during this very testing time!!

Rebecca - posted on 04/15/2011

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Kids completely change a marriage and it takes work to get it back to a happy place. Its give and take and when one person keeps taking the other gets resentful. My husband works a lot of overtime and was on 16 hour days for 20 days straight. I couldn't handle it! We didn't need the money and when he was home he was too tired for me and the kids. I finally told him he had to start turning down the OT and tune in to our family as well as his health. Since doing this he has been better at home and actually wants to do things together. It isn't ever perfect but I'll take what I can get. It can be so hard open up to each other when you get in the rut of just trying to get through the day. Do you know where he goes when he leaves? It must be hard for a man's ego to stay at home with the kids.

Michelle - posted on 04/15/2011

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I have a girlfriend that her and her husband were married for years and when she finally got pregnant with twins her husband checked out figuratively and sometimes physically. She stayed with him for about 4 years or so after the twins were born, but finally had to divorce him. She's super happy now going back to school and has a boyfriend. So you never know how life goes and if you decide that divorce is what is best for you and the children go for it. Hopefully you have a great support system, but even if you don't you can do it.

Melissa - posted on 04/15/2011

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Thank you everyone for all the great advice and thoughts. I should say that my husband and I have been having problems for awhile and I quite honestly don't even know if we are going to make it. One thing I didn't mention is that he has taken off (leaving for a "break" but not coming back for days leaving me and the twins stranded) at least half a dozen times since they've been born. Which is why he no longer has access to the car. I am the only one that has the keys and he doesn't go anywhere unless he walks or we go together. I just can't trust him. We have an appointment to start marriage counseling in May, but I'm starting to feel like its going to just be a waste since he is so closed minded and selfish......Ahhhh gotta love life sometimes. Oh well as long as I have my girls and they're happy and healthy then that's all I could ever ask for :)

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I'm so sorry you are way on overload and I totally hear you. my husband found a job in his field and had to take it. in another province. my twins are now 17 months. the difference for me is that I don't have to struggle with a job and all the other stuff. I just do all the other stuff, which is enough and more. people often think going back to work must be so nice and sure, maybe if you have a full time nanny/cleaner/person to make dinners, etc. I struggle as is and can't imagine throwing a job in there on top of things.

I know this isn't going to solve all your problems by a long shot but might help you a bit on wknds. I just got a wagon (they have always hated the stroller). walks now are almost stress free and definitely can be enjoyable.

that's it for my two cents other than I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. feel for you.

Laura - posted on 04/15/2011

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I am a SAHM and have also been a working mum so can sympathise for both of you. It sounds as if you are BOTH overwhelmed at the moment and both being pushed to your limits. You both need some time off. And you both need a little bit of understanding from each other. It is a very challenging time. Does your husband have anytime off during the working day? Do you have a babysitter? If not find one quick! Get them to babysit on saturday mornng so you have the morning to do something for yourselves (together maybe!!!). Have a plan where you get 2 hours for yourself on sunday afternoon and he has 2 hours in the morning. Get a babysitter half a day a week so he feels less the need to run away as soon as you get home from work. Take the girls out for a walk in the buggy while he cooks dinner in peace. Get a cleaner!

And make him talk to you, listen to him. Get counselling if you can't talk and listen to each other.

Julie - posted on 04/15/2011

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I'd have to agree it's time to really sit down with your husband and work out a better plan for you. I can't comment much on the SAH thing but my husband and I both work (together) and even after the most frustrating day at work, not like either of us just say "well i need a break" and goes out w/o at least talking it over. Having kids kind of means your weekends aren't exactly the "lay back and do nothing" type anymore regardless if you /he works or doesn't. Weekends are for the kids too.

Jennie - posted on 04/15/2011

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No offense but give your husband a wake up call! I don't think so! He is being so insensitive and a straight up jerk! He needs to be more supportive to your needs. I recommend the book 123 Magic. Please get it. It is very helpful. I also have twin fraternal girls and they are 3 now. But please get marriage counseling. Your husband might be dealing w/depression also and the demands of life w/the twins. Its not easy.

Moshira - posted on 04/15/2011

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There is no women in the world that feels like everything is working out well. Having said that I am a mother of five and my last are twin boys. They are now 7 but I know that it is so frustrating to try to jugle. What worked for me was, when they threw a tantrum I would either ignore them and if it got really bad I would do exactly what they did. Throw myself on the floor and scream. They stop and look at you like you crazy and think twice before doing it again. Maybe you should just not do something that your husband knows you would normally do. Like stop doing his laundry. Go out with the kids and do something that you all enjoy and leve him out. Stop talking completely. Don't complain, just don't say anything. When he asks why, say something like "you know, I've told you a million times." Then do something else. Eventually he'll want to talk. This is only what I would do, hope it helps

Jenna - posted on 04/15/2011

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You need to talk to your husband. I am a SAHM and I'm always on duty, although I'll say this my husband does get up in the middle of the night if one our twin daughters wakes up. When he comes home from work, I typically will make dinner and he will play with the girls. Part of the "job" of being a SAH parent is that you don't get sick time, vacation time etc. My husband is great and about once a month I go out to dinner with friends or family (while he and the girls stay home). But usually if I need a break, that would be going to do the shopping while they nap in the afternoon on weekends when he's home. You need to talk to him and explain how you feel, and sorry to say it but he needs to get tough-they are his job, he doesn't get to take a break on a regular basis until they are napping or sleeping for the night.. You should be able to come home and just play with your twins! I try to make sure the laundry is done, dishes are done, dinner is planned, etc. because my husband works hard to support our family of 4 on one income, and it sounds like you are doing the same. You deserve a break!

Michelle - posted on 04/14/2011

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I have some additional thoughts about what could also be going on with your husband. Of course I don't know you guys so could be way off base.

I'll kinda of tell you what I was going through when I first started being a SAHM.

First, I never planned on being a SAHM, but when I found out I was having twins it made no sense for me to work to pay for daycare. The reason I stayed home was my husband made more money than me (I did have the potential to make more with a college degree, but since my husband is 10 yrs older then me and have worked lots longer didn't make sense for me to work and him stay home). Anyways, I had a hard time adjusting staying home. It took about 3 yrs before I accepted that's what I was and am doing.

I had to give up my financial independence by closing out my bank account and credit cards. I was in a new town and didn't know anyone. It was very lonely. Most my friends lived somewhere else and didn't have kids and so couldn't relate. I also had a high stress job. It was hard to adjust to the monotonous and other aspects of SAHM. I never saw other adults or talked to them. I finally started going to parks, walking the mall with the kids, and started talking to other parents. They gave great ideas like Waterbaby classes, Mom's Club, and other things. That helped a lot. I also felt that people looked down at me for being a SAHM (some actually did). Some people felt that SAHMs don't do anything all day, etc. The normal BS people think about SAHMs.

I obviously overcame those feelings and thoughts and love staying home now, but it was slow going.

I guess what I mean through my little spiel is that your husband might feel like some or all these things and he's having a hard time adjusting. Find out what he's thinking or feeling if you can.

Hope you guys find some common ground and it works out.

Kim - posted on 04/14/2011

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Honey I feel your pain. I work 2 jobs 3rd shift and their father works part time during the day. I get mad when he even thinks about complaining about anything! I cook, clean, do laundry and entertain my boys all day long. I do have a few days when I get a good nap, but other than that I'm running on empty. I too have my moments when I feel guilty for yelling because I'm just so frustrated and overwhelmed. Our relationship has been rocky ever since they have been born. Even though my job is somewhat "easy" I'm underpaid and over tired and living paycheck to paycheck. It's a struggle to make sure they are fed and clothed. I wish I could help you and give you advice, but I've learned just to keep my mouth shut and keep the peace for the time being. I've learned not to take out my anger on my boys. When their dad makes me angry, I just ignore him and be overly nice to my kids. One of mine is having mommy issues right now and I can't leave the room without him screaming. I know I can't reinforce his negative behavior, but it's so hard to ignore. I find when I get frustrated I just get down on the floor with both of them and give them hugs and kisses and tickle the crap out of them till they laugh. It doesn't solve all the problems, but it sure does take the edge off of things. I really wish I could help! I know you need a break, maybe you can work out something with your husband that will give you an hour or two a day that he takes over. If he isn't willing to compromise, maybe find someone who can babysit for you one day a week so you can do something for yourself. Ok I'm going to stop rambling.. I'm sorry if I couldn't give you any encouragement, but you're not alone. :)

Jeanie - posted on 04/13/2011

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Honey, I feel for you. But unfortunately we are both in the same situation. But the only difference is my husband is Bi-Polar and gets SS and SSI. I also stay home because I have had back problems since I have had my twins. My twins are 16 months old. I also have a 5 yr old and pregnant with our 4th child. Even though we are both home all day I am the one who tends to the kids unless I get onto him for some help. My husband is into video games and always needs to be around people who play too. So, he pretty much is at our neighbors all day. When we found out we were pregnant again I was so upset because I feel like I have 4 kids all ready with my husband.
It sounds to me that you are just going to have to take the time weather your husband wants you to or not. My husbands yells too but I yell louder! These suggestions that the other ladies are giving you are good ones also. Ask family or a friend to see if they will take them even if it is only for a few hours just enough time for you to collect yourself. And put them in a stroller go for a walk that gives you quiet time with the babies and time away from hubby.

Nanette - posted on 04/13/2011

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I am so sorry, I understand your frustration. With summertime coming soon I think Jessica is right, you should get out and do something so you are not at home chasing them around cleaning up one mess after the other I imagine.

You could also take a little longer getting home from work? Maybe stop somewhere to wind down and mentally prepare for going home.

Just keep in mind that the twins will get older and it will get easier (maybe a little harder first since they are only 15 months but, eventually it will get easier) and if you can just get through this hard time there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Hang in there!

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