How can I plan separate birthday parties for my twin girls who are in the same class?

Linda - posted on 02/09/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am really struggling about my girls' birthday party this year. The are fraternal twins and are very different in appearance and personality. They will turn 8 in April and they each want their own party. They are in the same classroom and share some of the same friends. The concern I have is that one friend might be invited to one girl's party and not the other. Each girl is very specific about who they want to invite and I fear the potential harm outweighs their desire to have separate parties. They have shared their parties in the past so this is new territory.



They are in the same classroom by default since they are enrolled in a language immersion program where there is only one class per grade. This has had its pros and cons, but as they get older, the cons dominate much of the time. It seems like one twin gets more attention due to the "cuteness" factor and the other twin feels left out. I am trying to encourage the girls to take care of each other first especially when a friend is mean to them.



I welcome any and all ideas/suggestions! Thanks!



Linda

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5 Comments

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Emily - posted on 04/02/2012

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Is the girls' birthday on a weekday? If so, I'd do the "weekend before/weekend after" thing. Twin A has her party on the weekend before the actual birthday, and Twin B has her party on the weekend after. Also, if the activities are significantly different (say, Twin A wants a soccer party, and Twin B wants makeovers), then you could use the excuse that, say, "Ashley was invited to Party A because Twin A knows she likes soccer, Brittany was invited to Party B because Twin B knows how much she's into make-up and jewellry, and Caitlin was invited to both parties, because both the girls know that she can go either way." That way, it won't be a question of who's more "cool" or "popular" or "better-liked"; but a question of, "who would enjoy which activity more, and who likes both?"

Linda - posted on 02/23/2012

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Thanks Ashley for your input. I don't mind having two separate parties for the girls. I mainly worry about their guest list. They each want about 5 friends to their party, some are the same and some different. I worry that a friend who is invited to one party and not the other will feel hurt, excluded, etc....Due to them being in the same class and being twins, discretion can't be utilized. I want to respect my daughter's wishes to have their own party, I just don't know how to pull it off unless the girls have the same friends to both parties.

Ashley - posted on 02/22/2012

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Why dont you let the girls both pick something, bowling, movie, swimming and they can invite there friends to both do it on the same day back to back.

Linda - posted on 02/22/2012

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Thanks Jan for your reply! I will certainly keep you posted. It is challenging for sure having them in the same class especially when their friends change weekly depending on who they decide to play with at recess, sit next to at lunch, etc.... My 10 yr old son's experience is so different as his friends have remained constant since kindergarten! Good luck on your end too. It is heartbreaking how girls and boys can be so mean!

Jan - posted on 02/20/2012

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My twins are 5, they are also in the same class. I have a feeling this is something they are also going to be asking for sooner or later. They are total opposites and I have noticed when I go to school parties they to have different friends. I am not sure what advise to give you, but would like to know what you end up doing. I also feel that maybe one of mine also gets left out sometimes (she is a little overweight) it breaks my heart because she says some of the girls call her fat. It just seems that kids get meaner earlier nowadays. Such a sad thing. I hope it all works out of you and you come to a decision that will be good for everyone! Jan

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