How do I make them stop?

Delia - posted on 02/19/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My boys are 2 yrs and they fight all the time. I know that boys play rough but they have given each other black eyes and bruises. Are they just being boys? What should I do?

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Jean-Marie - posted on 02/23/2010

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I would start to discipline them when they fight-- mine fight (not too physical) and i have been putting them in time out for it since about 17 months old. I separate them - tell them NOT to push or hit and then put them in time out for about 2 min. Then I talk to them about why they are sitting in time out and tell them that they need to be nice to their sister-- make them say sorry and give a hug to their sister. So far it has reduced the fighting.

Iridescent - posted on 02/19/2010

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They are playing pretty typically for the age, but you can tone it down a little. When they start rough-housing, play with them and show them gentle ways to wrestle. Encourage things like tickling vs punching. When they actually hurt each other, stop them immediately, take them both and explain how one is hurt and crying and not having fun. They'll pick up on it. Then take the one that caused it and set them somewhere (we have them sit on the couch if it's just unintentional, in a corner if it is intentional) for a couple minutes. And when they play nicely, reward it! You can also teach good ways to play with major muscle groups (that's why they do the rough-housing) by having things available to play on - a large ball to lay on and roll, trampoline without the handle to jump on, etc.

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Terri - posted on 02/24/2010

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oh my gosh, you are bringing back memories! My boys fought tooth and nail, still do at times. I have often thought maybe I should have listened to my dh cause he always said let them duke it out, but I grew up with girls and couldn't stand the idea of them hurting each other so I stopped it. I didn't think it belonged in my family. but, I often think I created the victim that way. maybe if they would have duked it out one would have become king of the mountain and it would have stopped. but one being bigger than the other and way stronger I thought would do real harm if pushed to his limits. The looks in their eyes frightened me! it has continued into their teen years, just now have they sort of become friends and share friends. one was always smaller and he always tried to be like the bigger one, both very athletic but one definitely wasn't afraid to try things and the smaller one always tried to follow him and then the competition thing went on. the bigger one is easy going and probably would have been friends from the get go, but the smaller one wouldn't have it, sharper tongued would whip him with his mouth if he couldn't do it physically. it was really sad for alot of years. the smaller one finally at 15 discovered himself went different directions and doesn't compete so much now.

Tania - posted on 02/20/2010

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Good question! My 3 year old usually starts the fights in my house, but now the younger of the twins (2 yrs old) has started biting.

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