How soon is to soon to seperate twins by putting them in different rooms?

Kathryn Sadie Grace - posted on 08/12/2009 ( 61 moms have responded )

4

0

0

my twins Cara and Sara are a year and a month how soon is too soon to move them out of their room together and give them seperate rooms

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

61 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

We already talked with them and they finally agreed to have their own bedrooms so hopefully next weeked each one will be sleeping in thier own bedroom! so we'll see how it goes....

Anyway, thank's for the advice.

Jodi - posted on 09/18/2009

16

25

0

My 2yo non-identical girls NEED to be seperated for their day sleep and are happy to do that. We had a trial seperation at night about 6 months ago and it didn't go down well - they aren't too keen to be seperated at night so I figure I will leave them as is until they ask to move. IF you feel the need to seperate them - I would suggest doing it before they are used to sleeping together. Good luck.

[deleted account]

hi, I have 7 yrs old boy/girl twins, and they still sleep in the same room but in different beds, I think they are too old to be sleeping together still but whenever I ask them If they want their own room they say no.... I'm not sure If it's o.k. to respect their decisition or If it's best for them to seperate them already.

Jessica - posted on 08/31/2009

2

27

0

my boys are 18 months old and i havent separated them.. they have their own beds but when they wake up they just climb out of bed and start playing and watching noggin. I think if they were separate they would be alot more cranky in the morning.

Marian - posted on 08/28/2009

20

9

2

We co-slept our boys for four days, moved them to seperate cots because they were hitting each other and waking each other up (even in swaddles they woke each other up). At 4 months we moved them into seperate rooms as they had such bad reflux and were screaming that it was hard to settle one and then have the other one scream and wake the first off. They are 21 months now and love having seperate rooms.

Krista - posted on 08/28/2009

12

17

2

Ashley & Allison shared a crib until 3 months. We then put them in separate beds, but kept them in the same room. When they turned 2, they got toddler beds. What we found in the morning was priceless! Allison had gotten into Ashley's bed and they were holding hands! They did that often, one getting into the other bed, until we just bought a double bed for them. They did not ask for their own rooms until they were 12. I made them "try it out" to be sure and they insisted they really wanted their own rooms. New paint, new furniture, and moved their brother so they could be separated. For the longest time, one would still go to the other's room and sleep in the same bed. They started college this year. Imagine my surprise when they chose to go to two different colleges!! But they are only freshman. Who knows? Perhaps one will transfer??? Boy/Girl twins are different. They have boy/girl twin cousins who slept in separate rooms since they were babies. I say keep them together until they ask to be separated. Even then they may do what mine did. And that's okay too. : )

[deleted account]

My girls slept in the same crib until they were one and still share a room they are 14 years old...I say separate if they are waking eachother otherwise why?

Karen - posted on 08/28/2009

1

4

0

My sons are 16 and still share a room. They are identical and get along very well. They have always preferred to leave a spare bedroom as a playroom, now a video room to hang out with their friends. They have never really requested seperate rooms, they have a big room with a walk in closet. In fact, they had bunk beds and still slept in one most nights until they were about 7 or 8. I would wait until they were older and requsted it, then it would make it more fun to decorate their own two rooms.

Becky - posted on 08/26/2009

4

9

0

I think it probably varies for each set of twins. We moved to a bigger house when our boy/girl twins were 5 and put them each in their own rooms. I would often wake in the morning and find them sleeping in the same room. They eventually stopped doing that, so I think they will let you know when they are ready.

Michelle - posted on 08/26/2009

6

3

0

My girls are only 6mnths & i had beautiful visions of my lovely daughters growing close in the same bed untill i realised one of my girls had a cry similar to a car alarm! & as we only have a small house, one ends up in the porta cot in the dining room, sometimes & one in our bed (that will stop when crawling starts!!) I would love my girls to sleep together but they are so different. ( so i guess ive been helpfull!!?) Luck to u!!

Mary Alice - posted on 08/25/2009

25

0

1

My twin sons shared their bedroom their whole lives until they left for college last week. They will be 19 on the Saturday and always shared a room. Now they go to different universities.

Natasha - posted on 08/25/2009

2

5

0

My twins are almost six (boy/girl) I separated them when they were three. It wasn't hard. I made their rooms up just for them. I purchased easy up boarders with matching stickers from wal-mart. Tinkerbell and Transformers. I purchased "big kid" beds and bought matching bed sets. The were really excited and it went over great. I did let them sleep in each others rooms when they asked and didn't make a huge deal about it. Making their new personal area their own I think is key.

[deleted account]

I have twins a boy and girl. They slept in the same room until they were about 18 months old when one morning my daughter announced that she didn't want to sleep in the same room as her brother and more and wanted to sleep in the other room and it was to be painted pink and yellow with fairies. Needless to say they went their separate ways and we haven't looked back since.

Katie - posted on 08/24/2009

67

11

5

My girls are almost 7 months old and I just separated them a week ago. They were waking each other up when they would whine and cry at night. They are sleeping much better (and so am I!). I think you should do whatever works for you, if you think they need to be separated then move them...but it they are happy and fine as is than leave them.

[deleted account]

Hi there! I have twin boy & girl now 6 yrs old. We separated them at about age 2. Once they were climbing out of their cribs that was it . We do not have a big home so we had to separate them with twin beds so that was it. It took about a week or two for them to realize but they would visit and play and we had them take turns at night reading stories in one another s rooms as to feel the comfort zone and to still see that each room was the same and that you can do the same in each. It really was okay.

Sarah - posted on 08/19/2009

61

44

7

My twin boys are 3 years and 8 months old and they still share a room. They do have their own twin size bed though. They cry if we try to separte them. If one wakes up and the other is not there it scares them till they see the other one. don't think you have to seperate them as long as you make sure they have some time apart.

Renee - posted on 08/19/2009

13

11

0

I have 9 yr. old boys and they did not want their own rooms until 1 month ago so we split all the toys and made them their own rooms. It's all preference.I agree with Natalie there is no set rules .

Lindsey - posted on 08/19/2009

3

1

0

i have identical twin girls they shared there cot till 3 months in our room . then when we put them in there own room in own cots 1 wouldnt go in cot on own so she ended up in a bed at 3 months old in different rooms . when my son came along they went back in same room and loved it till they were about 9 till we moved and got bigger house and they went in own rooms again which they love there own space but some times i still find them asleep together in same bed ! so it doesnt matter really when they get split up if they wont they will always go back together as twins they will always have that close bond ! fighting or loving they will always be together xx

[deleted account]

Well I have twins as well girl/boy and they slept in the same crib until Gavin's was ready (took 4m to come in) then they were in the same room until about 6m then I separated them. Katie was waking Gavin up at night and no one was sleeping so I was told to remove the trouble maker lol so I did and we all got some sleep :)

Net - posted on 08/19/2009

10

14

1

i am a twin and i shared a room with my sister until i left school i think it helped us stay close

Ericka - posted on 08/19/2009

2

20

0

My twins are complete opposites. I put them in seperate cribs at 7 months because they were waking each other up. They shared a room because I did not have the space to give them their own. I seperated them in Kindergarden because needs and abilities were drasticaly different and they are very competitive. I have been told that if you did not know they were twins, you would not knoe they were brothers. They have their own friends and do not play or communicate at school at all. Now that they are almost 8, and we have a largere house, I offered different rooms. You would think I offered to kill one so they could be seperate! Neither wants anything to do with their own room. Go figure!

Collete - posted on 08/18/2009

1

1

0

I agree with a lot of the posts that say why not keep them together. My twin boys just turned 3 this summer and they are lost without one another. It's really interesting to watch what they do together with such different personallities. Have faith you will know when they are ready!!

Allison - posted on 08/18/2009

3

32

1

We separated our boy/girl twins when they were 3. We realized they needed their own space and they were into very different things.

VanessA - posted on 08/18/2009

1

20

0

We have 2 pairs of twins, on each case a boy and a girl. We have always left it up to them when to go into separate rooms and they decided themselves going into 1 st grade or kindergarten for each case!!

Eve - posted on 08/18/2009

4

35

0

I have 6 year old boy/girl twins, and I just separated them after Christmas. It really depends on what type of sleepers they are (my son is a rooster and my daughter a night owl), and if they say they want their own rooms. Mine still play in each other's rooms but like to have their own space.

Cherie - posted on 08/18/2009

3

7

0

My identical twins girls are 28 months old. They shared a cot from day one until they got too big and we got another cot. We had to have the cots side by side so they could see one another.



Yes they woke one another up and getting them to sleep was a nightmare, however trying to get them to sleep in seperate rooms was a worse nightmare!!! They enjoy each others company and will play both alone and together nicely.



Both girls now sleep in a queen bed and I place a pillow in the middle so each has "her side" and they know whose side is whose. I love watching them wake and say hello to one another and have a kiss and cuddle



We know some other twins who are now in their late 20's who said they shared a bed until their mid teens - their choice.



I don't plan on giving them their own rooms until they ask for it... they have been together since conception and are used to having each other there. Different for siblings I think, the bond isn't the same.



If there is no other reason other than your hubby thinks they share so much already, I would wait until they want to have their own rooms. They can still have their own special things that they don't have to share with the other

Amanda - posted on 08/17/2009

44

31

7

We had issues seperating the girls right from birth, they refused to sleep. THey shared a bed up until it was no longer safe ( ie rolling) and they nap, eat, poop everything at the same time. They are fraternal totally different personalities but evening being put on opposite sides of a hotel room to sleep is a sleepless night for us! Its crazy!

[deleted account]

I actually would keep them together. The times that my husband and I tried to seperate our girls was not good. Neither child slept or ate, we thought that this would pass, but only seemed to get worse. After they were put back together again, both began to eat and sleep again. The same thing happened when we tried to seperate them at a later time. They were so unhappy, it just was not worth it.

[deleted account]

Twins have such a special bond -- why would you want to separate them? My vote would be to keep them together until THEY tell you they want it otherwise. My boys are 18 months and they still sleep in the same room. They don't bother each other's sleep and they entertain and "talk" to each other before settling down for the night. As for the sharing your hubbie is concerned about, your twins will be light years ahead of other toddlers in terms of sharing because they are used to having to share. My boys share toys, pacifers, cups, etc., and freely pass them back and forth between themselves and other kids (except for the pacis and cups --- mommy won't allow that!). I think they would be more likely to fight over things if they are in separate rooms and have separate territories.

Marney - posted on 08/17/2009

8

10

0

Mine are still in the same room at 3 and I'm thinking in the next year they're going to be in their own rooms, one of them always seems to be affecting nap time now.

Raquel - posted on 08/17/2009

18

27

2

I was curious too as to why separate. My twin girls are 25 months and I love seeing one get up and get in bed with her sister looking to play with her. I like the closeness they share right now. I think as they get older and their likes or dislikes become more apparent I will let them be involved in that decision. But for now I want to encourage them to be close. Good luck

Nikki - posted on 08/17/2009

107

28

13

my bg twins are 11 month and recently went into there own rooms 1 becouse i didnt wont them constantly disterbing each other witch was starting to happen and any way they would hav to sepporate at some point with bing b g

Betti - posted on 08/17/2009

3

0

1

My twin boys are ten and still choose to share a room. They even share a bed. We bought bunk beds so they could have their own space, but they sleep together on one.

Charlie - posted on 08/17/2009

2

23

0

I have 11 yr old boy/girl twins, we separated their rooms when they were 4. There is no set time that you have to do it. You will start to see if they need it.

JoEllen - posted on 08/17/2009

2

6

0

Well this may not help but my twins just turned 18 (they are both boys) and are still in the same room and always have been. They are the best of friends and prefer it that way.

Leanne - posted on 08/16/2009

1

20

0

Mine are 15 years old(boys) and I started seperating them in PREK as far as seperate class rooms. They had to stay in the same bedoom until 14 years old. They are very competitive so really dont know what the anwer is?? But evens since seperating them it hasnt really changed.

Melissa - posted on 08/16/2009

20

15

0

My twins Cole and Emily are 2 and there is no plans to move them in separate room any time soon. I think they do much better together because they have been used to falling asleep together, talking and playing before they go to bed in the same room. I think my kindergarten or first grade they might be ready but I won't force it if they aren't quite ready.

Linda K - posted on 08/16/2009

4

3

0

If they are same sex, they will let you know, if one each. Don't worry about it. If opposite sex, when you see signs one is going through puberty. I have twin girls they didn't have separate rooms until the older brothers left home. I don't go with the idea that twins should be separated. They are both more caring young mothers because they shared everything. Children do better when the learn by sharing and example.

Claire - posted on 08/16/2009

4

18

1

Hi, we gave our girls (identical) their own rooms earlier this year. They've just turned 6 and have never been apart. This is their first year of school and their personalities are starting to shine. We figured that as they are two separate individuals and have been so close for so long, they needed something entirely their own. They really love having their own space to look after. I think it depends on the children. All the best!

Leeana - posted on 08/16/2009

7

22

1

I have three year old girl/boy/boy triplets. They shared a room till they were 2 and a half. We only gave them seperate rooms because they were having a party in their room every night when they went to bed...they would take their clothes off, and pull all the things out of their drawers. We will put the boys back in the room together in the next twelve months.

Marta - posted on 08/15/2009

2

20

0

Don't think about it. My twins are eleven yeas old and they still sleep together. You can try, but it's a thing bigger than they. They need each other to feel good. So, good luck... I still trying to get them separate...

Lorainne - posted on 08/15/2009

1

6

0

My boys are 5 years old and we have offered them seperate rooms, but they don't want to. We just feel that when they are tired of each other they will let us know when they are ready for seperate rooms

Lisa - posted on 08/15/2009

1

13

0

My twin boys are nine and are still in the same room with bunk beds. They don't want to be apart and i think thats ok. It is a comfort level for them. However I did separate them in the classroom after preschool.

Kimberly - posted on 08/15/2009

1

5

0

I always treated my twins as two separate people, they had their own cribs from day one. When they were about 3 or 4 they shared a full bed and room. At six they shared a room but had twin beds. At 13 they got their own rooms. For the most part, they sleep in their own rooms, but on occasion they get in the bed together. Whatever, makes them happy.

Emily - posted on 08/15/2009

326

15

28

I was so against separating my 14.5 mo old g/g twins. But I was forced to since one sleeps much more than the other. I think I gave in around 10 mo. I was heartbroken! Now I am so glad I did it. They made the transition like nothing (they are very close though). Just maintained EXACTLY the same bedtime routine but placed the one down in a different room. I recently bought umbrella strollers that can be clipped together or separate. They LOVE going in them and watching the other stroll around separate. They are so close but I love that they love to flaunt their own individuality. God I can't believe that they are able to do this at such a young age! Twins are amazing.



If you decide to separate them I'd do it soon. If you don't need to/want to don't. I don't think it will impact their relationship one way or the other. Good luck!

Angela - posted on 08/14/2009

8

2

0

It depends on when they're ready. My sons who are 8, still share a room. They suffered too much anxiety away from each other. They began separating at school at about 3 years, but they wanted to be together at home. (And still do). I think it depends on the individual children.

Donna - posted on 08/14/2009

2

47

0

My twin girls that are six years old still share a room. We will probably let them have their own rooms maybe in a couple years. They are still very dependent on each other. We have not even allowed for them to be in different classes in school yet. I would say it is different with each set of twins.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms