How to do you keep yourself sane with twins?

Amy - posted on 08/26/2010

Sister I can completely empathize, I am a mother of B/G 7 month olds... I have a select file on my computer called twin music and I play it for them give myself a break.. I set them up in their Pack n play and sit back while bop to green day and Kesha. I just remind myself tomorrow is another day with new events to surprise me.. Like my baby girl stood up by herself today for the first time.. it freaked me out.

Amber - posted on 08/26/2010

I agree! I felt the same way when my twins were younger! I had an 18 month old when the twins were born, so it was even more so a challenge trying to run after a little boy who wanted to get into everything let alone deal with crying and whining everyday! It does get easier~ the older they get the better they will be able to keep themselves occupied~ 7 months is about the age that they are clingy and want mom for everything! Just let them learn to soothe themselves...get them involved in some kind of activity, and let them know you'll be right back! Be sure you have some time for yourself~ pamper yourself when they take their naps, I resorted to a bath and music alot! :)

Samantha - posted on 08/26/2010

my boys are 3 months and i have been taking a mommy time out for a few mins every afternoon and at night... but if you have help take them to family freinds, or even get a babysitter one night every so often to help you out for a few hours of cleaning up, work or a nice long nap... just try to get some mommy time every so often... it helps me out ALOT!!
hope this helps

Tracy - posted on 08/22/2010

Gee I recall a time (very early on) when I was actually scared to be alone with my twins incase both of them cried uncontrollably at the same time. Not sure when or how it happened but now (at 10 months) 2 babies crying doesn't bother me. It can be annoying and tiring but it doesn't stress me out anymore. Guess I had to come to terms with the fact that babies cry and twins cry at the same time... and all crying comes to an end... eventually. I found things got easier around 4 and 5 months, had a few bump around 6 or 7 months, then it got easy again. Now that they are learning to crawl and walk they whine a lot because they want to move but can't. Yet it isn't as tiring for me like it was before. so don't worry things will get better.



How do I keep myself sane? Well when they were little, if I was really tired and it was too early for bedtime or nap I would take them for a car ride or went for a walk. After a while it became fairly routine either one hour before the afternoon nap (or bath depending on the day) we went for walks. It was a healthy change for all three of us. Didn't ever put them in their cribs for a break but I certainly understand why you would!



I also tried to do everything I could to prevent baby meltdowns. At the expense of being called a "nap nazi" and being diagnosed with "first-time parent syndrome x2" by family I kept my girls on a pretty strict schedule. I also read a few sleep books so I could anticipate my babies changing needs. When they dropped their 3rd nap around 7.5 months it actually went pretty smooth.



Perhaps the best thing I did for myself and my girls, (which is certainly not for everyone) is sleep training. I am a much better mom when I get my sleep and my babies are happier now that they know how to fall asleep on their own. It was REALLY hard to hear my girls cry it out but it was totally worth it. It only took 3 days for one baby and less then a week for the other. It was very liberating to be able to put my girls down awake. I still get to rock them but have the freedom to put them down guilt/stress free if I need to attend to the other baby. It was the best thing I ever did.



Hope this helps!

Charity - posted on 08/22/2010

awwww.. that sounds like me i remember those days when i thought it wouldnt get better but it will..i am a mother of twin boys but they are two years old now...i actually have three kids in all...i thought i was going to go insane but it gets better and easier as they get bigger...just remember god doesnt put more on us then we can bare...i wish you the best of luck...

Ge - posted on 08/20/2010

Ya, its tough i used HUMOR to take off the load...when my boys were making diaper changing difficult, or screaming in unisen, I would just laugh at myself, ignore the upsetting feeling, deal with whatever NEEDED to get done and everything else did not matter, if one cried cause i was holding the other then that one had to learn, i let them whine and cry until i can get to them, and alot of times, they would just stop and move on to somthing else. hope that helps...SMILE you'll look back at everything in awe later

Judy - posted on 08/20/2010

Lindsea, sounds familiar I am sure we all have those feelings, especially with multiples. My twins are 15, will be 16 yrs. in Nov. If you have a good friend or family member that could come into the house for a couple hours maybe two or three times a week, you would be amazed what that would do for you. Or take them to someone for that time. You still need to make time for you, to just unwind or whatever. This will PASS...other challenges will come, and go. Try to remember how blessed you are to have those precious little ones, they will grow up too fast...trust me I know.
You are doing fine!

CHERYL - posted on 08/20/2010

hi my twins are nearly 14ms and born early so was feeding every2 hrs at the begining. i always thought my babies cried more than other babies and seemed more grisley and like you had to just leave them so settle themselfs.now it does feel like its getting easier in some ways but they still cry lots,dont sleep all night.but i think im just used to it!! i never stay in i find it easier going for a walk or go to the park,they arnt walking yet but love crawling around the park or soft indoor play areas. try and get someone to come round for an hour so you can have a nice bath or just chill out in peace!hang in there!

Kristy - posted on 08/20/2010

:) u do get by, ppl ask all the time is it hard- what wld they expect lol but so so rewarding. i KEEP myself sane, by workin from home- which is still bloody hard to do and keep all in order. hehe superheros mums!!! best of luckl!!!!

Heather - posted on 08/19/2010

I don't believe that mothers of twins and sanity can be used in the same sentence... We get by. Our twins are precious and we love them with all the love we have to give... but sane... I don't know about that...

Kristy - posted on 08/19/2010

it is really daunting, n i tell other expectant twin parents etc that if u can survive the 1st 6months ur a friggin champion! i have a boy n girl twins, just 3 AND an 8yo also. it gets so stressful at times u wanna explode. but dont ever feel bad about it, things are just SO busy and u need time out from it all. ive also got 2 businesses aswell but i work from home (another difficult task) ppl have said 2 me how easy it must be- but trying to get things done AND be a 110% mum is hard. ur doing GREAT! to do what ur doing now n dont forget it xx mine dont nap anymore. so its constant stress but worth everysecond :) just try, i do 2 take small mini breaks wheneva u can u mstbe tired as too. hope this helped and take care to u and ur family xxx

Tashia - posted on 08/19/2010

I have friends that have been my sanity lines lol where I live they don't have a multiples group. Some times it is so over whelming I know trust me I just had to take one of my twins to the ER cause she cut her knee and had to get 3 staples that was an experience let me tell you she was a screaming demon lol and when it was over she says why could this of happened to her sister and not her how mean is that little turd.

Rebecca - posted on 08/19/2010

You just have to gut it out -- it gets better, slowly, but it does get better. Twins are exhausting -- no doubt about it. I don't think most non-twin moms realize how exhausting. Are you a member of a local multiples group? I find the most helpful thing is to talk to other moms of twins -- they help you realize you are not crazy or a failure for feeling the way you feel and often have tips for dealing with particular situations.

Tashia - posted on 08/19/2010

Honey my twins turn 9 today so you can do it just take a deep breath and relax I work full time and now I have another baby since the girls. I found that they liked books the ones with diffrent textures, they also like to watch seaseme street it works wonders cause of all the colors and songs. It will be ok honey. I remember the days of wanting to just run away for a while to get some sanity but you cant do that so just keep on plugging away it gets better I promise.

Nicole - posted on 08/18/2010

First off, I hope you are getting plenty of rest...I can recall having my first set of twins...I have two sets now, my first set is 5 yrs and my second set is 4 yrs...both times I had them on the same schedule..we are very structured even now..we do very little out of the ordinary..I noticed that my twins did not play much together until they were about one..it was like they didnt even notice each other..they were so interested in what was around them. The experience of "losing one's mind" does come to pass. it passes with age and time...I feel for you but at the same time twins are one of the greatest experiences that I have had the joy of being a part of...playdates are good because if u can find other moms in ur area with children the same age then they can scoot around with eachother while u get to chat it up...people tend to be very understanding about you wanting to be at home most of the time so it is unusual for someone to refuse regular playdates and even if the babies are too young to talk they can still interact...I recommend lots of adult time, I know it keeps me from acting like one of the kids =)

DEISREE - posted on 08/18/2010

I remember that exact feeling....my twins are 7 years old now, but at that age when i needed a break i would lay them in their crib with some toys and let them have at it...i would never be further away than the next room but that's about the age i made them learn to entertain eachother...it's a good time to start!!!

Tammy - posted on 08/18/2010

My girls are now 10. I also have a 12 year old and a 7 year old. I can remember taking my girls to my moms and handing them to her so I could take an hour nap or just compose myself. The older of the twins had acid reflux and screamed and cried all of the time. Just keep in mind and keep telling yourself that this phase will pass. If you ever need to talk just let me know. I have been there :)

Alicia - posted on 08/17/2010

I have twin girls 5 months and their entering that stage. I agree I rarely feel like leaving the house. We follow a schedule and I have all their toys in the living room. I have 2 of everything and we go from one activity to another. They love laying on the blanket with their toys. To keep me sane when nap time comes I lay down as well just to relax my thoughts.

Lisa - posted on 08/17/2010

Oh wow, I can so relate! My girl/boy twins are 15.5 months old. It's not easy, however, I also have a 2.5 year old, 8 year old and a 10 year old!!! I find it so hard to keep them all busy at their level. I'm not to sane. The meds help me ;-) I tell myself, "this too shall pass". I also tell myself, "someone out there has it more difficult than me and they are surviving!" Keep your chin up my dear, hugs ~ If you need someone to talk to, message me, I would be more than happy to listen without giving all the unwanted expert advice. Sometimes it's just that listening ear we need, not the other stuff that can go with it sometimes.
Lisa

Amber - posted on 08/17/2010

My Boy/Girl twins will be 2 yrs old next month and I felt the same way when they were about 8 months old. They wanted a lot of "activity" so when they were at home with me I would lay down a blanket on the floor and then give them an assortment of little toys (like the things that are on carseats or even a little book to flip around) that way by the time they got to the last toy on the blanket they would start w/ the first one they had and not even realize that they had seen it already. I had times when I would get a little overwhelmed but the key to that is keeping things organized and on a routine. I kept their toys in a basket in the living room so when they would get in one of those moods I had a back up, when I was too busy to sit down and play with them. When I read things regarding the situation with being stressed out over raising twins and they are all the same so don't think that you are the only one that is going though this right now cause there might be downs but soon there will be ups as well. Like when they are lovey and when you watch them sleep so peacefully.

Jeanette - posted on 08/16/2010

I have 2 boys, and that shouldn't matter, but I didn't have that problem at that age. I am going crazy now, they are almost 5 years old and I am haveing to punish them all the time because of fighting with each other and not sharing!! I don't get it at all I thought It was going to be easier at this age because they have each other to play with, not mine. Now the one thing that I believe in is a Good Chiropractor. I work for one and my twins have been getting adjusted since they have been 6 months old and I believe that was a great big help. People are not educated in Chiropractic and I use to be one of those people until I worked for one. I learned alot and saw alot and it is awesome. My one twin couldn't move his bowles by himself so his pedi. but him on a laxitive at a vey early age, this was before I worked at the chiropractor, and when I asked her one day when he will be taken off of the laxitive she said she wasn't sure. I started soon after that at the chiropractor and told her about it and she put him on a probiotic and gave him his adjustments and he can go on his own since he has been 7 months. Oh and I changed pedi. also. If you have any questions please ask. If you look for a chiropractor make sure you look for one who adjust kids and see if they have a nutritionist as well. Good luck to you.

Janine - posted on 08/16/2010

Wow... flashback! My twins are now just over 2 and a half and thankfully I dont have this problem anymore. The only advice I can give you is that you just have to wait it out until the become a little more independant and less reliant on you. God know's it's draining but it does get better. I recall the feeding of both at once as mine never did anything separate unfortunately. Holding them both at once rocking them off to sleep at 6 and 7 mths of age- then i thought crap!, how and I going to put one in bed and then the other without disturbing them... Hopefully by the time they are walking or atleast in the next 5 or so mths you should see a big change and a weight lifted off your shoulders. Good luck x

Melissa - posted on 08/16/2010

Lindsea...wow, I feel like I am hearing the thoughts that I had at that age and really still do sometimes. It does get better and somewhat easier....just different challenges. My b/g twins are 3 years old now and because my twins were born early I had to be up with them every two hours for feedings until they were 5 months old then everything else was just a constant turn around of things to do. I was continually feeling like things were out of control and I was exhausted that I didn't leave the house either, in the beginning. I eventually learned that you must get out for you and the babies. Although, I know it's tough when you have two to get dressed, prepared and getting them in and out of the cars you really do need the "Get Away", even if it's just to the local mall to do a lap around it. Don't worry about feeling the way you do it's natural and I think we have all been there. I will only say to you good luck and things seem to get easier around 1 1/2 years old...but again different challenges, things that I have experienced. If you need to talk let me know. :) GOOD LUCK!!