How to handle the daily life of twins???

Tasha - posted on 03/03/2011 ( 25 moms have responded )

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I have seven month old twins. I'm still trying to figure how to manage them both without losing my sanity. Can anyone help??????

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Tara - posted on 03/03/2011

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Tasha, this will be a long struggle! My best advice to anyone who is having twins, is to learn to be flexible and go with the flow. If you just learn to expect the unexpected and not stress out, but just enjoy every second because once its over, you will never get it back. I try to have numerous short age-appropriate activities ready to make quick switches to keep them entertained. We will read a book or two, then play with blocks (my twins are a little older so some of these may not be age-appropriate for your littles). We go for a lot of walks. On rainy or cold days, we go to the mall to walk around. I also have them on the same schedule as far as eating and napping go so that during their naps, I can sit and have a cup of coffee and relax. I also used to worry about keeping my house spotless. Now I have a list of the household chores, mop, vacuum, etc,. I choose one to do each day. It may take me a whole week to get my house clean, and once I do I have to start all over, but it has helped me stay sane! Hope this helps! But also remember, you are not alone! I (and so many others) feel your pain!

Kim - posted on 03/03/2011

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Tara... i couldn't have said it any better. You are so right! My twins are my first and last children... but i've learned that you have to go with the flow and give yourself a break when you can get it. I don't get very many breaks, but I do recommend it. And as far as my home.... it's a mess. I'm a clean freak and it drives me crazy on a daily basis.. but I know there is nothing I can do about it!

Tarina - posted on 03/17/2011

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Tasha, my girls are 7 months also! I also have a 2 yr old and a 9 year old. Leaving the oldest aside, because he is relatively self sufficient, the stress of 2+ young children can DEFINITELY be overwhelming!! Here's the thing to remember: things dont have to be perfect. Your kids will live just as long if the laundry sits for 3 or 4 days. If the dishes only get done every 2-3 days, no one is going to care except you. You have to remember to pace yourself! I read in one of your replies that your twins are mobile now! Congrats on this milestone! One of mine is crawling well the other is just starting to really put the effort into it. Give each kid their own moments of your attention, both them and your older ones as well, but remember sometimes you just need time for yourself. Dont feel guilty or ashamed if you need to leave the little ones in their cribs crying, and ask the oldest to watch the other 2 for a few minutes while you take a bath, or just walk outside to breathe, or make a phone call to a friend that you just havent had time for. You've GOT to remember, if you are miserable, not only will they sense it, they feed on it and it spirals out of control :) Taking a few minutes of time to yourself during the day will help alot. It will teach your kids that they need to share your time not only with each other, but that sometimes Mommy just needs mommy time! And there's NOTHING wrong with that!! After 10 minutes of you time, you can jump right back into mommyhood with a bigger smile and more patience than you had before!! Good luck! Feel free to add me to your circle or friend on Facebook - Id love to have another friend in a similar situation as myself!

Rabia - posted on 03/17/2011

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My girls are turning two this month and I honestly don't remember how bad of a time i had managing them. Start putting them on a schedule and I hope u have some help from other people. Twins can be a handful but once they start crawling and running, you will miss their pre-indepence days where they could lie in one spot for hours.

Chairettie - posted on 03/16/2011

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I have 8 month old twin girls, routine is key for feeding and and nap/bed time since my husband travels alot it is just me. I know it sounds silly to say but breathe, dep breaths when things get cranking and you want to pull your hair remember to breathe....and it is ok to cry but try not to cry in front of them...mine since when I am starting to stress and both will react by blank stares and or crying :o( hence more stress. I am a stay at home mom (haven't lived here long and have no family) and I want to get out more but it really is a task and I have to pre plan my planning to get out due to feeding and napping schedules but getting out is very helpful so the walls don't close in on you.

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Charity - posted on 11/30/2013

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7 month twins is tough. It is hard I remember crying at times and running out of the house for a break as soon as hubby got some. I love my babies too they just turned 2 and it gets better in many ways but, new challenges too. Nothing more amazing than two babies to see them interact and play. Today I had a rough day I felt like I was falling apart my house was a mess and I felt like a failure as a parent. My children are amazing and I love them so much but, there are hard days. People say it gets better at 1 years old. It does in many ways but the terrible twos present different challenges and blessings. Aww parenthood (especially twin parenthood) what an amazing and exhausting ride it is.

Tina - posted on 11/29/2013

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I'm an 18 year old single mom with 7month old twins a boy and a girl , it's very hard for me as a young mom but I'm trying my best I love my baby's to death we have our apartment and yes it is very hard having to keep it clean with twins , sometime I feel that I have to break down and tears because sometimes it just gets hard when they both are crying wanting me to Carrie both I try on and off to give them toys to play with or to feed them and nothing works they just want to be carried , and alone time for me I don't have that I hardley get any sleep at all and when my babies take naps it's not both at the same time one takes a nap and finally when the other is takes a nap the other wakes up , it gets so stressful at times but I'm trying !! I love being a twin mother it's amazing it gets hard at time but having twins you just have to get use to it

MamaB - posted on 03/16/2011

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Just breathe, know you are doing your best and from one who knows, accept that the first year will be a blurr - mine was! I dont know how I did it but I did, they are 7 now and I am still sane :)
www.liveloveconquer.com

Meredith - posted on 03/15/2011

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Tasha, It does get better! I agree with a lot of what I read in other posts...routines and preplanning were huge helps to me. (I also had to give up on expecting have a spotless house and keeping to the same schedule for house chores that I had before. ) Now that they are two, the help pick up and get dishes to the sink and clothes to the laundry basket but that is because it's park of our routine, and even that doesn't get followed every day! Try to pick small goals to accomplish each day and you'll get there!

Amanda - posted on 03/14/2011

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My twins just turned 2. Its hard in the beginning because you are trying to figure everything out. Just "wing" it! Thats what we did and it seemed to work, we just went with the flow of things and when we found something that worked we kept doing that. They are taking 2 naps a day so use that time to take a break and breathe. Mine took a short morning nap (maybe an hour) and I would usually try to relax with a magazine on my bed. I know how hard it is to try to get housework done, but for the morning nap just relax. On their afternoon nap which was longer (about 2 hours) I would usually try to get the dishes done, some laundry done and then after that relax again. After they go to bed, get some housework done, but then make time for yourself as well as your partner. Thats another hard thing is making time for each other. It does get better (though right now I am going through terrible twos x 2) and easier once they become a little more self sufficient. Around age 1 they will be feeding themselves more and more, you get rid of bottles and they start walking and trying to communicate with you.

If possible you should try to get out of the house by yourself and with your partner once in awhile if you have access to a babysitter. The break will be well deserved, and you will feel refreshed when you get back home to your twins. I hope this helps! Good luck and enjoy them while they are still little.

Samantha - posted on 03/08/2011

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I made nap time something I religiously stuck too. Day times boys would go to bed 11am and sleep for 2-3hrs. They had to go to bed at the same time or no rest for mommy, around the 9mth mark they started to not want a nap but with a bit of singing and milk they slept together and I did too! I always try to get them to nap at the se
Time when possible

Amy - posted on 03/07/2011

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My boys are almost 9 months, and we finally have a nap schedule worked out. Before that they slept in shifts! We go out everyday in the stroller. We splurged and have a cleaner come in every 2 weeks to scrub the place down, so I now do only basic cleaning. Also, once the boys could sit well unassisted, we switched to a bath together. we only soap down every few days, the other days are just play baths. They can stay in there for 20 minutes while I sit next to them and read a book!

Samantha - posted on 03/06/2011

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I agree with the walking totally, life saver. Also I there teething and won't stop crying it doesn't hurt ur ears/head so much in the freshair! Good for babies good for u!

Tricia - posted on 03/05/2011

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My twins are now 16mths old...And I was a first-time mom! I am trying to remember how I didn't lose my mind lol. I moved them around alot, jumper-roo, activity gyms, swings...and I took them for ALOT of walks through-out my neighbourhood. As long as it wasn't raining we were walking, even if it was really cold, just bundle them up. I really believe the walks saved my sanity. Now, they love going for walks! As soon as I bring out the stroller they are climbing into it before I get their jackets on them.
Start walking, it will do wonders for all three of you.

Suzanne - posted on 03/05/2011

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Well it is hard. The first thing I did was get into a routine. Fed both at the same time, napped at the same time, and then I could go out as I had a window of opportunity before feeding and napping would start again.



I would make sure that I would have a nappy bag packed and if I was going out the next day would organise everything. I would make sure that the pram was in the car ready. I would also have all the breast milk in bottles/formula ready for an outing as that would save issues in case they were hungry.



I would also have on the fridge one of the stick on chalk board things. I would have half devoted to each child. It would show what time they were fed and what amount each child ate.



I would also take them out to get sunlight and outings such as playgroups is very helpful. This way you can speak to other mums and the kids get tired. This allows you to have them fed and tired, then you can come home and rest yourself or do some things that you want to do.



It might pay to speak to a multiple birth group and see what other mums of twins or multiples have done.



Try and stick to a daily routine and make sure that you include other activities, such as playgroups, maybe swimming lessons on weekends with help from your partner or family member, tummy time in the park under a tree, strolls in shops, different areas and surroundings, reading books and playing is always helpful.



Get people who are visiting to come around and bring lunch with them, this way you can have the kids fed and looked after and you don't have to lift a finger for lunch. While they are there, you can put a load on in the laundry or get them to help you clean up some parts of the house. If you have the food organised for the twins and the milk then guests can feed and you can relax. Relatives always like doing this. It will help you to put your feet up for a bit.



Also before the kids were born we cooked up 3mths worth of food and that was a great help. Maybe you can work on getting some food cooked that can store well frozen. This way you can just defrost, heat it up and either add salad or vegies if you like.



The biggest tip is to make sure you have a routine. I know it is hard but the hardest part was the first 3mths, now I am finding the fact that they are not sleeping during the day hard, but at least they sleep in the evenings.



Good luck, Suzanne

Alda - posted on 03/05/2011

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My girls are now 2 1/2. They were born at 28 weeks and spent the first 4 months of their lives in hospital (over an hour's drive away). Numerous times we prepared to say our final goodbyes. But they survived and the first year was incredibly difficult, but you get through it. Somehow lol. Now it's great because they play with each other and I don't have to keep them occupied all the time. We try and go out every day (we have children's centres in the UK where we can go play). I find getting them out of the house every day is a sanity saver - it keeps them occupied and give you a break. Don't worry too much about the housework, like the others said - and besides, 10 minutes after you clean up it'll look exactly the same as before. I do a quick clean-up after they've gone to bed at night. It doesn't get easier, but it gets different (potty training at the moment, yippee lol). You'll get there, we all will, one day at a time :-)

Tasha - posted on 03/04/2011

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Thanks for all the advice. I sitting here looking and them crawl around and interact with my other kids(which they r a big help with the twins when i need to cook ) I know its gonna get better.

Rebekah - posted on 03/04/2011

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One day at a time! It goes very quickly and then you wonder where the time has gone. Mine are now just over 2 and now that I have another baby I am finding it harder, but probably because they all want my attention at once! Enjoy it though. It's great.

Samantha - posted on 03/04/2011

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My boys are now 2 1/2 and I can happily say it's getting great and easier. I dont know how I survived the early days but then love conquers all! Take time out for yourself when u can. Sleep in the day If u had a bad night, I did for nearly 2yrs and honest it helps, house gets tidy in the weekend or quickly done once they go to bed, you and your kids important and of course your sanity it does get easier and more fun.

Valerie - posted on 03/04/2011

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Hello! My twin girls are now 15 1/2.. going on about 25 they think!! Every stage is different, some more difficult than others.. but yes, you will survive... it isn't easy, so I won't sugar coat it for you.. but when they are able to go to pre-school (although mine did not as I coudln't afford it for two at one time here in California), or regular school, you will get the much deserved break during the week. I went back to work when my girls were 16 months old and they went to an in-home daycare.. honestly, working was and is still my sanity.. but that is just me.. I am finding now, with the girls being teenagers.. I would LOVE to go back to where you are!! :p BUT.. we all get through it!! Hang in there, get a nap or two, and forget about the housework sometimes.. it won't go anywhere, so it will still be there later to do.. ;) Good luck- and vent, vent, vent away to other twin moms.. most of us have been there, are there, or will be there.. ;) Valerie

Liesha - posted on 03/04/2011

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My twin boys are now 6 and I love it. I learned early on to have them sleep and eat at the same time. Especially at night, if one woke up to eat, I woke up the other one. During the day we had toys and activities ready to go. Fortunately the come with a built in play mate. I learned to let go of a lot of things around the house and I did accept the help that was frequently offered. Every month that goes by gets better. I think once they hit four, it's the best! I had two singletons before the twins and I think it is the way to go! Good luck!

Kelly - posted on 03/04/2011

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Tasha, I have 4 year old twins a boy and a girl. The first year was so crazy and at times VERY stressful. On the bright side it does get easier with each year. They will become more idependant and play together which will give you some time to keep everything else in your life together. Only do what you absolutely have to and save the rest for later or someone else. Enjoy this age because it will be over before you know it. It seems like it will never end but I promise it will get easier. In my opinion having twins is actually easier then having kids at seperate ages. Never turn down help and rest when they rest no matter what has to be done. Hope life gets easier soon.

Frances - posted on 03/03/2011

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Tasha Sam... i have lost my sanity many many many times over the past 2yrs 3 months. The first year was so incredibly hard I thought I was going to go crazy with sleep deprivation and listening to the insistent grizzling and crying (i was dealt quite challenging twins always competing for attention). For me when my boys were 7months old I decided to put them at 'in home daycare' for half a day to start with and then rotate and have 1 boy with me at a time on another day later in the week. Having 1 on 1 time was blissfull and so easy after having had to deal with 2 at a time! I also found keeping myself busy and being super organised helped, having their nappy bag ready for all eventualities and attending lots of kids events. Also surrounding myself with friends and family and talking about my problems and crying it out when it all got too much!
I still have bad days/weeks every so often now my boys are over 2 but in my opinion as they get older it DOES get easier as they are more independant. Good luck :)

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I can't remember that long ago (my girls are 9), so the good news is that you WILL survive! :)

Tasha - posted on 03/03/2011

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Thanks ladies for the advice. Its the end of the day they r finally sleeping and hopefully I can get a nap and tackle some of the housework that has gone undone all week. Kmsl.

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