I really do not know if i have it in me?

Paula - posted on 07/06/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

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I have almost 3 year old twins. My daughter learned to climb out of crib. So i bought her a big girl bed. always had some promblems with them sleeping at night,but nothing like this.She will not sleep in it. If she does go to sleep in her room i have to sit in their with her.Then she will wake up 2 or 3 times as i am tring to sneak out the door.i tell her to lay back down it is o.k. she will go back to sleep and i can try to sneak out again. After about 3 hours or so she will wake up cring again then i just put her in my bed and she goes right to sleep and does not wake up again until morning. I know this is all starting some really bad habits.I bought a super tall gate to put in her door and she can not climb over it.I just do not think i have the strength to listen to her scream forever several times a night. What to do?????

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Amy - posted on 07/09/2010

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She wakes up and finds you are gone and knoew that if she cries you will put her in your bed. IF you sit in the room until she goes to sleep move farhter from the bed everynite. When she wakes up calmly tell her it is time for bed and put her back in her bed. This may take a while (it did with my boys) but eventually she will sleep in her own bed. It also helps to have a bedtime rourine in pace. For us it is bath, a kids show, brush teeth and go lay in your bed a read. Then it is lights out. It will ont happen opvernite and may take a little more than a week. I never gated my kids in their room they would come to my bed and I would get up and put them back intro their own bed and say good nite. I hope this helps a little.

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Danielle - posted on 07/31/2010

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I also have the same issue. I have b/g twins who will be four in Nov and a 2.5 year old boy that I am struggling with. The girl twin needs to fall asleep with me in the room and for the most part will sleep through the night. However, the boys are another story. They share a queen size bed and need me to stay on the bed until they fall asleep, then I sneak out. The problem lies in the fact that they both wake up about 3 AM crying and won't go back to sleep unless I lay or sit with them. The boy twin will usually sleep through the remainder of the night but the 2.5 year old will wake up again at 5 and then again at 6:30 if I am not in bed with him It's so frustrating and I get very little sleep as I also have a 5 month old. I just want to get them to sleep through the night, then I will work on getting them to sleep by themselves. Help, any suggestions?

Lauren - posted on 07/30/2010

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whenever our girls let us know they wanted out of their cribs we put their matresses on the floor, if they werent gonna sleep in their crib we were gonna take them apart and thats what we did, i think that kind of helped the transition to go into a big girl bed. but a couple months ago they would wake up at night only sleep in our bed and blah blah but theyre out of that phase now, try putting her in her own bed after she falls asleep with u. but pick her up in the same position she laying in that way shes still laying down and it wont be like your sitting her up and adjusting her at all.

Nancy - posted on 07/16/2010

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You can put a child door knob thing on the inside of her door and close the door. She won't be able to get out and she will be safe. They have them at Walmart.

Paula - posted on 07/16/2010

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Thanks for all the help everyone,yes we have night lights,and a very good bed routine they sleep in separte rooms they have since about 4 months old. My son sleeps well so far. I tried the gate the other night it was a extra tall one and she climbed over. So i put another one above that she climb them both when she got to the top she fell over it scared the hell out of me. Noiw what do i do?????

Nancy - posted on 07/14/2010

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We just went though sleep training with our twins. They are 30 months. It is really hard to hear them cry but I can tell you the pay off is great. I am on day 4 and I only had to go into the bedroom once tonight. On the first day I let them cry for 15 minutes before I went in to see them. I put the kitchen timer on so that I wasn't tempted to go in before that. I settled my girl and told her it was time to go to sleep. I left the room. She instantly started crying again. I waited another 15 minutes and settled her again. The next time she settled on her own before the 15 minutes was up. Day 2 I had to go in twice and on day 3 only once. I hope tomorrow I won't have to go in at all. It is hard but if you can do it the pay off is not only for you but the child also has a better night sleep in the end. Good luck and keep us posted.

Krista - posted on 07/10/2010

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First of all, are they sharing a room? My girls shared a room until they were 12. In the beginning, it was my choice. When I put them in toddler beds at 2 yrs old, a lot of mornings we would get up and one would have gone to the other ones bed! They came to me when they were 12 and wanted different rooms. Do you know they still ended up sharing a twin sized bed sometimes until they moved to college! Twins have a bond that I don't think we can truly comprehend unless we are one. Do you have a nightlight in her room, one she likes or chose herself? She must be afraid of something for her not to want to be in there. A child cannot be punished for being afraid, you know? So I would go about it with rewards. And, of course, be fair to the sibling by doing the same thing. As an example, if she will stay in her 'big girl bed' for one full night she will get a 'whatever' (new stuffed animal to sleep with, a doll, whatever you know she would love.) Once that happens, maybe offer to bake her favorite cookies or something if she does it again. And just praise, praise, praise for the good. Don't dwell on the failures. After that new doll or whatever has spent a full night, ask her how 'it' liked her big girl bed? Maybe make a routine at night of one bedtime story then sleep. You will both enjoy the time together. If your twins are boy/girl, I do not think that matters at this age. Maybe consider placing them in the same room if they are not already. As hard as it gets when you are going through the drama, try not to raise your voice. Be consistant and it will all pay off eventually. They grow up way too fast so enjoy your twins. : )

Amanda - posted on 07/09/2010

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I am sure you have heard this before, but here goes. You have to stick with routine!! My mom told me with the twins (now 19) to let them cry, it doesnt hurt them, and soon they will figure out that its not going to go their way, but it will go the way your wanting it to. So, maybe try to put them to bed earlier, and give her a stuffed animal or something to soothe her to sleep. Try to be patient, it will work if u stick with it and not give in, I know its hard.

Chelle - posted on 07/09/2010

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Hi do you have a night light in there room? I found this helped with my older twins i also got them a toy glow worm so they can cuddle up to it or even using teddys we used to make a routine of popping the teddys to bed first as soon as we thought they where settle the bigger boys then went to bed,,, if they got up i would take them back to bed tuck them in try not get to wound up if i can help it ..i was living in a two bedroom unit with no internal doors but i never locked them in with any thing over the door but i used to shut the house down and go to bed and read a book but this worked for me as the boys went to bed later and like every one has mentioned try to break the habit now and crying wont hurt them might wear them out more and i always put them into bed awake so when they wake up they know where they are i do this with my 5 month olds too i find if they do wake they seem less destressed compaired to putting them to bed asleep...best of luck and it will get better with time..cheers Chelle

Heather - posted on 07/08/2010

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With my oldest son, I sat at the door and held it closed and for the first few nights he through a fit and then after that he would just play until he fell asleep. My twins are smarter than that. I sit in their room until they fall asleep and then sneak out, lol. I usually take a book or my laptop with me so I'm entertained and not just waiting. Otherwise, I try to sneak out too soon. Another helpful tip is to play music. It makes the "sneaking" a lot easier :)

Brandi - posted on 07/08/2010

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I agree. My b/g twins 22 months are fine. We started about a month ago, putting them in beds with out falling asleep on mommy. At first they cryed for about 30 min. a night. The 3 night my girl would just go to bed, but my son cryed a little. Now he might cry for about 5 min. then gives in. So just keep at it and don't give in. Good luck

Jenny - posted on 07/07/2010

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My twins are 4 and pretty much slept in our bed until a few months ago. I just think they werent ready before and now they do it with no problem. oh and we also got them a bed with a slide on it which they really like, and they know every once in a while when my husband works midnighs they can still come in there but that isnt very often.

Elaine - posted on 07/07/2010

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my twin boys have been in beds since 18months old and luckly i have never had this problem, my other son who is 16months i think i will have alot of problems with, like you i have a baby gate on his room door for when i do put him in a bed, i think the best thing to do is maybe ignore them i know its not that easy but they will realise in time that its bed time and they have to sleep in there good luck

Paula - posted on 07/06/2010

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thanks Amanda I do know that is what i have to do. I just never thought of the glass of wine to keep me from losing it.I have had to do this before for both kids to get them to sleep threw the night in there cribs. I do not know it just feels harder this time around. Thanks for all your help and the wine idea.

Amanda - posted on 07/06/2010

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Of course I can't say that your experience will be the same as ones others have had however I have found that after a few nights, kids figure out that this is not going to change (providing mom is strong enough to stick to the plan) and they give up and go to sleep. It may take a few nights in a row to as many as a week...but she should eventually just give up and go to sleep in her bed . As long as she is safe and cannot get out over that gate you bought, set her up and leave the room. Let her cry. She will stop. That being said you may need to have a glass of wine or two to keep yourself from totally losing your marbles during this process. But I do believe that in time she will learn that bedtime is bedtime and she needs to sleep in her bed, or at least, in her room. Good luck momma....it won't be easy but you HAVE TO BREAK THIS BEHAVIOUR NOW...you do not want to deal with this any longer than you have to. Be strong! IT WON'T BE FOREVER!!!!

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