Is anyone else annoyed?

Rebekah - posted on 05/17/2010 ( 101 moms have responded )

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EVERY TIME I am in public with my twins, people with run over or break their necks to see my girls. And then they ask "are they twins?!" They have the same exact carseat and they are always wearing the same outfit and they are identical.. what kind of stupid question is that?! Also, they ask me which one is the boy.. They act like since I have twins one has to be a boy! And that is a dumb question anyway bc they are both always wearing big bows lol. does anyone else get these stupid questions? And does it get on your nerves? people act like they have never seen twins before!

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Crystal - posted on 07/06/2010

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LOL...I get the same thing all the time. I thought that i was a crabby B****. But it does piss me off. They are wearing girl colors, dresses, and earrings and they ask if one is a boy. And they are identical. I feel you and good luck because people are just stupid and dont think before they speak.

Emma - posted on 07/06/2010

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I know exactly what you mean, I have twin boys, nearly always wearing blue, same car seats and blue pram, people always say are they twins and ask if it is one boy one girl !

Jamie - posted on 07/06/2010

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I get that all the time... If we are out first of all a double stroller is HUGE and they both have the same car seats! I get the "wow, your hands are full!" or " Are they identical?" and I say well can you tell them apart! It bothers me only when I am trying to really get something accomplished and I look up and five people are looking in the stroller! Their grandmother loves it though she pushes the stroller when were out and she answers all the annoying questions for me! lol

Sarah - posted on 07/06/2010

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Hahaha!! Ya I use to get that all the time and I still get that. My girls are 6 yrs old now and people still come over and ask all the time. Now that they are older - people ask them questions all the time. They get annoyed quick and sometimes don't answer people.

Nicole - posted on 07/06/2010

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I don't have identical twins. However people r always fascinated over my twin girls. I don't get annoyed I find it funny that people r so enamored with twins. Then again u don't see a lot of twins.

Lisa - posted on 07/06/2010

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That used to drive me crazy.

What blows me away is that twins are NOT uncommon, yet people faced with twinfants still behave as though it is unusual in the extreme. When my b/g twins were infants people used to approach all the time, asking (what I considered to be) stupid and/or ignorant and/or intrusive questions, and always wanting to TOUCH the babies, which infuriates me. (You're a stranger to me, yet you think it's perfectly okay to touch my babies? On the hands and face? And right after you, say, exit a crowded train station in a city? I don't think so.)

The questions annoyed me. ("Oh! A boy and a girl! Are they identical?" ("...um...except for the penis....and, you know, the y chromosome.") And the instrusive nature of of some of the questions: "did you have fertility treatments?" I can't count the number of strangers who asked me that! The comments that, having a boy and girl, I had an "instant family" and "could stop" -- so, what, if you have no children, or one child, or even children of the same sex, you don't have a family? And truly, if I had a nickel for every time some blathering idiot walked by and shouted "hey! double trouble!" I could probably afford to put both twins through four years at a top private university.

BUT, there were also plenty of time when people came up to talk because they wanted to share -- share that they have a twin sibling, or that they have twin children, too, and that it DOES get better and I will sleep more and the children will grow up. I've had elderly people cross the busy street to share with me that seeing my twins reminded them of their own siblings and their own childhood, to tell me that they were the third child and their siblings were twins and to wax nostalgic about something that happened half a century ago, or longer. And that is truly nice.

The annoying comments (and the nice ones!) do stop. Adults want to stop when it comes to babies...with toddlers, they usually smile....and the comments stop. Can't say I miss 'em, but I don't feel so negatively about them any longer. Plus, I find that I am now the one that stops parents of twins who look haggard to tell them that hey, it does get easier eventually, and yes, they will sleep sometime....in a year or three....!

Jessica - posted on 06/25/2010

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Yes it happens all the time. It drives me and my husband nuts. And we always dress them in girl colors and now use bows and we still get asked if its a boy and girl. They have pink carseats! Or I will get asked how old is your little boy....she is in pink geez.

Lisa - posted on 06/24/2010

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I don't mind those questions so much as I mind the idiotic "Were you trying to have twins?" _huh?_ As if there was some sort of order form at the hospital? "We'll take the 2for1 special, thanks!", I don't know what happens to peoples minds. Someone had the gall to ask our nanny "What were they thinking, having twins?". The more subtle ones are "Do twins run in your family?" -- it's all code for "did you use fertility treatments?". I'm usually to stunned to reply with something witty, but next time I'm gonna say "No, we were drunk" or perhaps "My husband suggested a threesome, we were going for kinky..."

Jackie - posted on 06/24/2010

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I have four children age 5 and under my twins are now 10 months old and i still find it impossble to walk down the road without being stopped and asked are you a busy mum and i get fed up with being told im so lucky for having a boy like his twin sister and two older sisters are not so important

Brandi - posted on 06/24/2010

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we take our identical boys out and they wear matching outfits. the outfits are clearly boy outfits. we get are they twins, are they both boys, and are they identical???? why do people have to do this.

along with those questions they want to ask about my pregnancy...

Laura - posted on 06/24/2010

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I have identical girls born 6 weeks early and I must say... yes , it gets so darn annoying going anywhere in public. Finally when i get asked "are they twins" ... I just started saying no..... they just look alike, ones a year older and the smaller is a dwarf!

Victoria - posted on 06/24/2010

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I would like to say it gets easier but the silly comments dont stop... I have 19month B/G twins and regularly get asked if they are identical...the worst comment i get is oh they must be hard work... I have learnt to reply, "what these 2? nah theyre easy the triplets at home are hard work...." people tend to shut up then!!

BJ - posted on 06/21/2010

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OH MY GOODNESS YES!!!! My husband and me now tell them," well no, their not twins, they're just identical STRANGERS!!!" It gets them every time. But most of the time I just grin and say "yes" because it seems that people are REALLY AMAZED by twins!! I just wished they could take em home for a few hours and see HOW AMAZING THEY REALLY ARE!!!! lol

Amanda - posted on 06/13/2010

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Yes, I have boy girl twins. Everyone always assumes they are both boys, like I was so upset about not having a girl, I dress one of the boys in a pink dress to make up for it!! More often than not, I do get really tied of being a side show.

Dorothy - posted on 06/12/2010

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twins are such a blessing, we all know it... we get to experience it. other people just have no clue, they are amazed by twins. people LOVE twins, they just don't know WHAT to say, so the stupid stuff falls out of their mouth. you can't stop it, i say have some fun with it. remember, even though YOU hear the same comments over and over... the person saying it could be experiencing twins for the first time. let them enjoy it. growing up with "dorothy" for a name, i have always dealt with the comments. everyone thinks they are the first person to say to me "where's toto?" you just have to get used to it, or it will drive you mad! enjoy your twins... they are a wonderful blessing!!

Sheena - posted on 06/12/2010

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I have b/g twins and get it all the time too... my lil girl will have a big bow and they ask "boys"? like yea i like to dress one as a girl though so its like i have one of each... and then its oh they are identical... no one is a boy and one is a girl and the one that annoys me the most is are they natural? well I want to scream what business is it of yours if I used IVF or not...

Lynnette - posted on 06/12/2010

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I have noticed that my girls can collect a lot of attention. I totally share your fustrations. One time when I was asked the question I sacastically snapped back, "No, they were just born on the same day." (Accually they have seperate birthdays) We are ranchers, and I almost always dress my girls in jeans. They are two, and I can't wait for thier hair to grow past thier collors. They are "tom boys" for sure.

Ashley - posted on 06/11/2010

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OMG YES!!!

The first time I took them out and there immune systems weren't so good, feeding tube and oxygen as well. And I think that day I hate 8 people come to me and some had kids. And no offence but kids are like cold infested usually, well especially when they're coughing and it sounds like croupe LOL like comon lady! That day freaked me out and I didnt go out for a while. I got two boys and they're like oh a boy and a girl! ERR so annoying just leave the twins alone people.

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It used to annoy me but it makes me laugh now. I mean, even though twin rates have skyrocketed, most people are still curious and want to talk to you about them. I honestly think, they are so amazed to see 2 little babies together their brain temporarily 'freezes' and they say the first (often dumb/silly) thing that comes to mind :-p
My fave experience was when my boys were babies and a lady asked if they were twins? yes. Boys? yes. Are they yours? yes. Both of them? ahhhh...no, I kidnapped one of them. I still laugh when I think back on it!

Oh ya, and the 'instrusions' and questions greatly decrease as they get older, I find. I can actually go shop without not on person stopping me now (they are 4 now) whereas as babies, I'd get stopped at LEAST 2-3 times/hour!

User - posted on 06/07/2010

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I get asked this stupid crap seemingly everyday!lol...i know the feeling. Like I would really dress my boy in pink!!!Come on now...

Sunny - posted on 06/07/2010

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OMG I am understanding your pain sister!!!! I live 30 min. from town and I hate going shopping. My husband works in the oil field so sometimes i have to go by myself or i beg a friend to help me. if my friend is with me i dont get it so much, if my husband is there oh mylanta we cant get through wal-mart without it taking like 3 hours. every few seconds oh are they twins. god bless you or double trouble. or man you must be worn out super mom. It hurts my 13 year old because they say oh a boy and a girl you are done then right? UM hello i have a 13 yr old standing right here. Or how bout when they go and try to touch them. i freak!!!!! like hello where have your hands been . i hate it it makes me miserable. especially when we try to eat! we get stares like we got buggers on our faces or something! loll. good luck.

Marianne - posted on 06/05/2010

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When my twin girls were 6 months old . We were at the airport and i had them in dresses and bows in there hair. People would come up to me and say what cute boys you have. I would tell them that they were girls. On our return trip I decided to but them in sleepers that were kinda boyish but I LOVED them, and people would say what lovely girls you have there. OMG I could of died laughing. What stupid people they were. Now they are 7 and when people ask me if their twins they yell at them and say yes we are so what.....Man I love my girls....

Danielle - posted on 06/05/2010

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OMG!!!!!!!! YOU ARE MY SOULMATE BEST FRIEND! lol i also have all of the exact same issues with public! i have 2 girls as well. and they always think one is a boy even though they are both in PINK!!!!!!!! and no they are not twins they are just the same age exactly and favor lol it gets on my nerves too~! i want to be able to take them out and about and not have to stand and talk to complete strangers the whole time im in walmart! lol

Jessi - posted on 06/04/2010

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yes i have b/g twins and get the dumb ?'s too but it typically doesnt bother me i just explain it to them in a voice the suggests i am talking to a 5 yr old lol it also depends an the persons approach and attitude how i respond when they say r they twins i generally respond uh no actually when we let the hosp we wanted another one so we just grabbed a random baby from the nursery on our way out no biggie we got away w it.!! bahahaha the reactions crack me up . or when they ask are they identical? i say well you know i cant tell if they r bc they dont look a thing alike and one has a penis and the other dont so i just dont know if their identical or not...hmm? and to the one of each?wow which is which ? i am like ya know im just so forgetful these days lets check ill take the one in pink my husband will check the one in blue and ill letcha know in a min wat they r... yep one of each and this one in pink is a girl and that one in blue surprisingly is a boy wow imagine that who woulda thought?!?! but those resposes only happen to the annoying stupid ppl other than that most are just excited about it and just wanna be helpful those r the moments i am excited and happy to show off my precious cherubs!!

Victoria - posted on 06/04/2010

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My boy/girl twins are now 6 & we still get a comment now & then as you can definately tell because they really look a lot alike. I never really minded the attention much, or the stupid questions. The one thing I did dislike is the "you have your hands full" or "better you than me" as I found those insulting. I will admit though that I always ask when I see other twins, its just a way of breaking the ice/starting a conversation.

Katelyn - posted on 06/04/2010

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i get the "its hard to believe they are twins" because i have a boy and a girl and they look nothing alike....not all twins are identical dah lol and i also get the "are they identical" and "are they boy and girl" lol like of course that is why he is wearing blue and she is in all pink!!! and i hear you Megan Bennett their are 3 sets of twins older then mine in my town and about 4 more on the way.....another thing is i hate it when people tell me i have my hands full, no actually im not crazy when i say i would LOVE another set of twins XP

Aubrey - posted on 06/04/2010

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It never ends. LOL
My girls are identical and they're three now so they look like "people" now. It's hard NOT to tell that they're twins, but people STILL ask. LOL I've learned to zone that noise out sometimes. :)

Alma - posted on 06/02/2010

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Sometimes i feel like my husband and i should push separate strollers so people will leave us alone! then it makes me even more mad that i have to be the one to go out of my wat so that total strangers can leave us alone!
ok im done venting:)

Nete - posted on 06/02/2010

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It actually surprised me, just how many set of twins there are, Its a world you don't think about before it the lady operating the sonogram, looks at you funny and calls in extra staff just to be sure... In my case they were bent over laughing, slapping their knees.. most have been the...'' What? !!...'' look on my face.... anyways got 3 sets just in my neighborhood ... would figure people would get used to the idea sooner or later?
Now the most ridicules comment I got from a lady at the Doctors office.... (my daughter is a copy of me with blond hair and my son is a copy of their dad with dark hair and therefor tans easier) this lady looks at them and blurts out ..''.oh ! Chocolate and Vanilla'' .... Now that was weird to me!...

Megan - posted on 06/02/2010

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I live in a small town so I get the "are they twins" all the time after I had them it drives and it drove me crazy I used to geet really mad when people would come up and try to touch my babies right after they were born I would get irate with them. But even to this day they are going to be turning four in sept I still get asked the question are they twins I have two little girls but I guess one day the worl will finally understand that its nothing crazy there just twins.

Claire - posted on 06/01/2010

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we have the same problem all the time my twin girls are 2yr 6mths and still get the same questions like you which makes me die with laughter you just have to push on as it wont stop , a good t shirt we bought for the twins which they wore in the summer were ones that say yes we are twins and we also got i am the little sister. which did help when they had them on lol
I know from experience as you do too that having them in all pink makes no difference these days .

Rebekah - posted on 06/01/2010

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Thank you everyone for your comments! It really helped! Yesterday I was at Neiman Marcus with them and literally about 20 people formed a crowd around my twins talking about how pretty they are and how good they are bc they werent screaming lol.. I felt like a celebrity or something! lol.. and best believe that EVERY person asked me a dumb question even if they JUST heard the person next to them ask it.. lol.

Justine - posted on 06/01/2010

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It can be disruptive if I'm in a rush and yes, sometimes the questions are "stupid" or not well-thought-out at best but it's nice; it's what makes them so unique so I don't mind that people point it out. As a matter of fact, the other day, I was thinking that I might even miss it when they are older and not in the strollers and people may not even tale note anymore (since they are b/g twins and obviously not identical).

Nete - posted on 05/31/2010

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Yes! OMG what is with people??..but you can take two strollers if possible to avoid most of it, the comments are one thing, what about the folks sticking their entire head into the stroller for a better look, without asking?? .. just cause they are twins doesn't give you a right to stick you dirty fingers in my children's face and touch them ..gee!

Sheila - posted on 05/29/2010

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By the way, My responses to the people with stupid comments has been, "Yes, my hands are full, but not with these two. They have a 3 yo brother with their daddy (or granny)." "That's the way we like it!" or "We are just really blessed!"

Sheila - posted on 05/29/2010

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Everybody gets those questions. I asked a question similar to yours once, because I wanted to know how others respond. From the overwhelming responses that I got, I learned that most likely the reason people do this is because they haven't seen twins as much, and they don't know what else to say, but want to say something. At first, it was very annoying to me. I felt like saying "DUUUUUUHHHHHHH! What does it look like?" Like you, I always tried to make sure that I had bows in their hair, or were wearing pink, but I still got those stupid questions about whether they were boy/girl twins or not.

I have since changed my outlook, and have found that I find more and more "twin mommies" just because they saw mine. Today I was shopping with my family, and I met two other mothers of twins, and I wouldn't have met them if I wouldn't have had mine with me. One of them had left hers with family, and the other one only had one of them with her.

My favorite reaction that I get to my twins is the one that I get from other children. When I spy one of them staring at the two babies, I just ask them, "Have you ever seen two babies at the same time?" I get a wide eyed head shake telling me no every time. As someone pointed out to me when I asked this question, The comments and questions will die out, and you will get back to a normal day out again. I have found that I actually miss the comments. If I get through the grocery store without being stopped with a "stupid comment", I'm actually kinda sad that my adorable girls didn't get noticed, and they are only 18 months! Any way, I hope this helps you. It is annoying for sure, but then again at least people are noticing!

Margo - posted on 05/29/2010

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I'm like some of the others here. My girls are 9 and still get the "oh twins?" comments. They usually answer for themselves now, and are used to the comments. I have to admit I also will go over and will comment when I see another set of twins, but usually with a "been there too type comment" I have always found twins fascinating since they do run in our family, and usually enjoy sharing what I know.
When I don't have the time to stop and chat with someone, I would usually give a quick answer and move on. Or if someone was being especially annoying I would quip that they were actually quads and we left the boys home and walk away while the inquisitive person tried to process that. :) Enjoy your twins and if you get negative comments turn them around and tell them how thankful you are for them.

Amy - posted on 05/29/2010

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I get the "are they twins" and it usually comes with "wow, you have you hands full"... I respond with better full than empty. I am very shy and it was real hard at first, but you get used to it. Just one of the down sides to having twins, you have to take the bad with the good.

Lynne - posted on 05/28/2010

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I have oy girl twins and people used to ask me all the time if they were identical... I used to say "nope, the penis makes the difference" it was always priceless to see their faces... Just tell them that because you dressed them the same you keeping forgetting which one is the oy until you change their diaper, and say it with a smile lol...

Natessa - posted on 05/28/2010

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We get stopped all the time and I assumed that since my boys are almost 1 yr it would've died off. It doesn't bug me, when I'm in a hurry it's a little annoying, but I take it as a blessing that I have two healthy babies that seems to spark everyone's attention. It's not a freak show, but a curiosity. Not everyone has twins so it's just interesting to see. I know I'd do that head turn/question asking if I saw higher order multiples.
Natessa

Sarah - posted on 05/28/2010

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Everyone does that with my fraternal boys, Toren (baby a) and Tavin (baby b). They are 16mos. They always have on boys clothes (no unisex) and people want to know if Tavin is a girl. I know he's "pretty" (my husband hates that, but he is pretty), but, come on, he has on Boy clothes!

Carrie - posted on 05/28/2010

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i used to have it all the time i also have identical girls and mine were so small i had one women in meadowhall shopping centre call me mad for taking dolls out for a walk in a big double buggy but yes i got it all the time in the end i said "no what gave you that idea the fact they look the same"

Erin - posted on 05/28/2010

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My twins are now 9, almost 10. I've heard of so many people being annoyed by all the questions, but I never got tired of it! I was so proud of my twins and if people are asking questions it's just out of curiosity and fascination! Twins are always so adorable, and how many people have dreamed of what it would be like to have a twin or be a twin? They are also a lot less "educated" about twins than us mothers of twins are. Just last week we were at the store and someone asked if my boys were twins. They asked them to stand next to each other so they could see them side by side. It just made me smile and I took a couple of minutes to answer their questions. I think it's fun!! I hope you begin to enjoy it soon, because it won't end any time soon!

Emma - posted on 05/27/2010

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got a new response lol cus im expecting again i get the ur havin another 1 u must be mad comment when im out with the twins, i now say well i didnt ask santa for a sky box to give me somethign to watch on telly but i didnt get it lol, i get some funny looks with that 1

Melinda - posted on 05/27/2010

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I got that a lot more when our twins were little. At the time one had blonde hair and and the other was a brunette...and one has always been tall and slim while the other is shorter and built like a brick.Now they're older and the brunette has gone blonde so they are looking more alike. But they also have a sister who's 18 months younger. I hardly ever get asked if anyone's a twin anymore...just get the comment of "you have your hands full". My best response is "It's easier to cuddle them all that way."You might try telling people that no they're not twins...just carbon copies. Or that they're seeing double :) A sense of humor helps. The one that got me was when, shortly after I had my guys I was asked where I'd gotten them. Since we were in a grocery store I said "the children's section." I think the woman may actually have gone to check.lol.

Sarah - posted on 05/27/2010

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I got that more when the girls were babies, but now that they are 3 people don't ask as much. But when they were babies my husband would just say "No it was buy one get one free that day." People would then roll their eyes and walk off.

Elizabeth - posted on 05/26/2010

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My twin boys are 2 now and I have been approached hundreds of times. I just remind myself that people are interested and are not doing it to be rude. Consider yourself lucky to be in such an unusual situation and answer those kind-hearted onlookers with a smile!

Michelle - posted on 05/25/2010

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@Emma Laffey: I agree with your comment about "Double Trouble". It really ticks me off, but I always respond, "Oh No, its Twice as Nice!"

Kelly - posted on 05/25/2010

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I always have to allow more time in stores for all the stupid questions. I got my twins through IVF so my favorite answer for are they twins is "yes it was buy one get one free day" they don't understand fully but at least I get a giggle out of it. I acually call them my popcicle babies because they were frozen embryos. If I need to get things done in a time frame I bring one of my friends and she pushes the stroller and talks to everyone while I pretend I don't know them and continue shopping uninterrupted. Lol

Bobbi - posted on 05/25/2010

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LOL Im sorry to laugh but I remember those days...I have boy/girl twins and i use to bring a friend shopping with me some times and split the kids up and people would still come over to us. I got to the point i give my husband half my shopping list and i go to the other side of the store and shop because i hated it but he loved people comming up..But the worse we were out eating and had someone come to our table .

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