looking for other single moms of twins

Shelly - posted on 04/06/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My name is Shelly and i am the single mother of b/g twins who are 3. We left their dad when they were 6 months old. Raising them is the hardest thing I have ever done and i'm really hoping that I can find some people who have done/are doing it alone because i'm pretty sure it might kill me and I need evidence that people can and have survived it :)

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Well.... I didn't become a single mom til my twin girls were 6, but I also had a newborn son at the time. It's been 3 years and we're all still alive. ;)

3 years old is pretty crazy, rough stage, but it doesn't last forever!!

Kristyn - posted on 04/08/2011

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Hey there. Im a single mum to nearly 2 year old twin boys. Have been single from day one though, so its probably a little different. We tried to make it work in the early days, but it was never going to happen lol. I know I havent hit the 3 year old stage yet so you could be going through something completely different at the moment, but its really not that bad. I thought the first six months would kill me - i had two babies that fed every 3 hours and they took an hour each, after which I had to express and then clean the equipment, perhaps a toilet stop and maybe some food or a phone call and there was no time for me to sleep. Ive found it gets easier as they get older. Ive even convinced myself (and partnered friends agree) that we may even have it better than those with a partner 0)

Im not a womens lib spokesman or anything like that hehe. Ive just done what needed to be done, because if I dont do it, noone else will.

I made a conscious choice to have my babies. They did not ask to be born. I look at being a mum as my new job and I put as much effort and dedication into that role as I have had any other job. Dont get me wrong, I am not perfect by a long shot, but my focus is my boys wellbeing. Sometimes it is bloody hard but there are coping mechanisms you can develop to get through those times. Ive found when they are very demanding and nothing is going right - the best thing to do is get on the floor and just play with them. So what if dinner is late or the washing doesnt get put on. Have fun and cuddles and tickles instead. Honestly, your children dont care about the washing or cooking or anything else on your to-do-list. When things get tough - bring it back to basics. What makes the kids happy is time with mummy - cuddles, play, books, drawing - they just want your time and attention and its actually not that hard to give. It doesnt fit into our adult list of priorities but thats where we need to change and not them.

I think my children are lucky to have me as a full-time mum that doesnt share the parenting responsibilites with anyone else. Of course it has downside too, but you dont want to focus on those things. Personally, Im happy with our situation and dont know that I could fit anyone in our lives yet. Were busy enough as it is lol. Your children need you to be happy and centered. They will react and respond to your mood. Its not easy, but it wouldnt be coimpletely easy with a partner either. I find being single less complicated - I dont have to worry about my partner or his needs and everything gets done my way and on my schedule.

If you dont mind sharing - what is it or what part of day to day life is it that you think is going to be so hard or difficult? Do they go into care at all? Do you work? Or do you have them 24/7?

Lindsay - posted on 04/07/2011

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I am going to be the same way! I am going to be a single mommy to b/g twins in the next couple months! And, any woman can do it! it only makes us stronger!

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