Moms of Twins... (via IVF or drugs)

Emily - posted on 11/07/2011

Good for you for looking into the pros and cons, and considering whether it's a good idea. My personal experience with my twins - amazing, exhuasting, fantastic, exhausting, wouldn't trade it for anything, and the most special thing ever. And exhuasting, LOL! I know some people that have really struggled with their twins, especially in the first year, but perhaps I was blessed with two relatively easy babies. I did much of it on my own, my hubby tried really hard but he started a new job with long hours two weeks before they were born, and by three months he went on a week's trip. I managed. Don't get me wrong, there were days when he would come home and I would be singing and crying at the same time to two screaming babies because I didn't know what else to do, and didn't want to just do nothing. I figured out a lot of systems and routines to help, and from what everyone tells me (trying to keep my rather biased opinion out of it!) my almost two and a half year old boy/girl twins are doing well in all areas. They do struggle sometimes with sharing mommy (and toys, and clothes, and food), but, quite frankly, at least they have always had another sibling there getting attention - they don't have to adapt from having all the attention, THEN sharing it when a younger sibling comes along, which I think can really be challenging as well. Now, though, they miss each other when they aren't around, they seem quite well adjusted, and are very social with other children. I have always been quite careful to ensure they have been exposed to other children (from pretty much 5 weeks on!) so that they are not just focused on each other, although I have also tried to encourage them being very close (same rooms until a couple months ago, same class at daycare, same activities, etc). They are in an amazing daycare now which has also really helped with that. In terms of being hard to parent, at this age I see my friends with children of two different ages and think that now (not the first year!) I have it much easier - they are on the same schedule, do the same things, keep each other entertained, and are developing their very individual and unique personalities together. They are both slightly ahead of where they should be with development, so that also hasn't been affected by being twins. I think twins though, just like every singleton, is different and will adapt to certain situations differently, learn differently, and develop differently. I still have to work hard not to compare them, but they are truly so different, I actually love seeing the two personalities come out! I will say, at almost two and half, though, double temper tantrums is a little much, LOL!
With regards to the pregnancy, I carried my twins until 38 weeks and had to be induced. All was fine other than being a whale (I was HUUUUUGE - not all twin moms are...I was. People don't recongnize me now if they only knew me pregnant) with morning sickness until the fourth month, and at the end I developed pre-eclampsia, which came with temporary liver and kidney issues, including partial kidney failure. A bit scary I suppose at the time, although I didn't realize it then, and would do it again in a heartbeat if I could convince my hubby to have more kids!!!! I'm totally fine now, my kidney specialist said he wished he could use me as a speciman of a healthy patient when I got my official "all is well". No lasting effects except the daily joy, entertainment and challenge of my monkeys that continually amaze me, and make me wonder how I could be so blessed.
All that being said, that is MY experience and I know not everyone has the same thing. So many things can not work as planned, and with twins it certainly IS riskier - for the babies and for you. Make sure if you go ahead you are very confident in the medical care you will be recieving, and make sure the parents you are surrogating for are aware of all issues, concerns, possibilities, etc. This can be everything from early delivery and the risks and concerns that go with that to having to possibly deal with TWO colicky babies to the extra cost (diapers and formula are CRAZY expensive for one, not to mention two!) By the way, way to go for doing this. As a mom who went through fertility treatment, I remember how devestated I was when I learned we may not have kids, so to have what you are doing as an option is fantastic. Also, the fact you are so careful about it is wonderful. Best of luck with wherever this and your following pregnancy take you!

Sara - posted on 11/03/2011

I was totally in shocked to find out that I was having twins. I was angry and scared trying to figure out how I was goin to raise a 3 yr old and twins. Im now at 33wks with my twin girls and ive some complications down the road but the simple fact is I love my girls. Its goin to be hard and im sure ill feel like im losing my mind at times but they are my kids and I was blessed with them for a reason. This pregnancy has definately been harder then my first with two in there and its taken a toll on my body but I know its better for them to be in there. There are alot of risk with twins but if your blessed with them then its worth it. My last doctor appt had them weighing in at 3lbs 10oz and 3lbs 11oz. Lets just say that with these 3 kids in my life I will never have a boring or dull moment again.

Whitney - posted on 11/02/2011

I have 10 month old twin boys. They were my 3rd pregnancy...I was expecting number 3 and got 3 &4!! Obviously it's harder than 1 baby, but It hasn't been near as hard as I expected. My older kids are now 9 & 6 and are alot of help, especially since my husband works out of town. It is a challenge, but I would not trade it for the world. They are so fun to watch and interact with each other. I just feel like us moms of multiples are blessed beyond words because we are lucky enough to have been chosen for this unique experience that not everyone gets to have!!! The hardest part of carrying them was not knowing when they were gonna be born and if they would be healthy. I was very fortunate because I carried to 37 weeks and they weighed 6.4 & 6.8....very healthy!! Good luck!!

Tanya - posted on 11/02/2011

I have had 2 pregnancies- 2 embryos inserted- twins, but one vanished at 10 weeks, I was very upset... but then also had a very colicky baby and was relieved to only have my darling daughter. The second round of IVF I only had one implanted, as I definitely didn't want twins to complete my family... I was rather surprised to find out at my 12 week scan that I was carrying identical twins! At the time, I was gutted, didn't want twins etc... but I wouldn't change them for the world. If the family you are surrogating for want twins, and will provide them the love and support they need, then that's all that's required. There are so many children in the world that don't get the love they deserve- and these parents clearly are going to all lengths to get the children they want. Is it hard? Undoubtedly, yes, but then again, parenting is hard. The pregnancy was definitely harder than a singleton pregnancy, but I suspect that age also plays a part in that. I had a c-section and felt that I 'recovered' quicker than I did with the natural birth of my daughter (over 70 hours labour, followed by being induced, ventouse and tearing).
I hope that helps- and good luck!

Louise - posted on 11/02/2011

I have twin boys who were conceived after ivf and they are and were no trouble...yes you do have twice the tantrums etc but that is just normal of any child. As for other mums saying they wouldn't wish them on anyone I can honestly say I wouldn't have wanted a single baby as having twins is so much fun, the way they are with each other, there is a special bond between them and they will always have each other. Mine have just started school full time and have their own friends, we try to give them some one to one attention but as they have always had each other there they don't crave it.
Yes it can be hard work and expensive! but I wouldn't be without them up for the world.
The pregnancy was great, no symptoms/illness and would go through it all again tomorrow! Had a c-section though as one was stuck under my ribs but even that was no problem, could do basically everything after a few days and back to driving in about 4 weeks.
You do need patience with twins especially when toddlers and tantrums, and of course when they are ill as they both seem to be at the same time! but then you do for any child.
My boys even though identical are so different in personality that they don't have to fight for individualism.
I think it is fantastic that you are offering to be a surrogate of twins and wish you all the luck as you are doing a great thing for some lucky couple.
Hope this has helped with some of your q's and worries. x

Kellie - posted on 11/02/2011

l think you must be a special person to carry a child or children for someone else. l am a Mother of twins. After 7 years of ivf treatment l became pregnant with twins. Apart from being so big. l carried my twins to 38 weeks. l had a c-section. My girl was 7.3 pounds and my boy was 8 pounds. Everyone is different. l come from a large family of natural twins. 14 sets. Not one would change having twins. Such a blessing.

Tanya - posted on 06/19/2010

I had natural cycle IVF with my daughter in 2004, and had two embryos placed. Both took, but had a vanishing twin at 10 weeks. Had NC-IVF again in 2007 and decided to have only one embryo placed as I didn't want twins, but wanted to complete my family with another child... I had two embryos so froze one. The first cycle didn't work, so we defrosted our eskimo and voila, identical twin boys!!

They have just turned two and are the most fun... the pregnancy was HARD work (I was as wide as I am tall towards the end- 37.5 weeks).

Good luck for whatever you choose... you are an amazing person being a surrogate. x

Marcy - posted on 06/19/2010

When my daughter was 8 months old, I got pregnant with twins. They were born at 37 weeks via c section. One son was 6 lbs, and the other was 6 lbs 13 oz. My daughter was also a c section, and because my boys are so close in age to her, I was told I had to wait at least a year before even trying to get pg again so my body has a chance to heal.

My boys are 3 months old, & I wouldn't trade the struggles for anything! They are truly amazing, & I love them with all my heart.

Sheri - posted on 06/18/2010

My husband and I struggled for 8 years to have children, test revealed nothing wrong with either of us except endo for me that they removed. 6 cycles of clomid, then 5 IUIs with other fertility drugs, and 2 IVF - both of which resulted in pregnancy but the 1st IVF I had a stillborn at 20 weeks. 2nd IVF gave us the best 2 little blessings in the world; our B/G twins Grace & Jake.

While I think most people that go through any fertility treatments are aware of the possbility of multiples, they don't truly understand until they see both little ones on the ultrasound.

I am probably the opposite of most multiple pregnancies because I carried full term (38w for twins) and had no problems with the exception of some hip pain between week 28 and 38. I am to old to be a surro for anyone but I would do it in a heartbeat.

Yes, there are risks, but 2 embryos don't ensure twins either.

I guess what I am trying to say is it's different for everyone and it's based on what you feel is the right thing to do. I would check around your area and see if there are any MOM (Mothers of Multiples) groups in your area and go to a meeting and talk with expecting and new multiple moms to hear a variety of experience first hand.

Good luck to you whatever you determine is the right path for you.

Laura - posted on 06/17/2010

my two were a surprise number one bcos we hadnt planned them and had only been together 6 mths....i had a very simple pregnancy....bad labour but that was my obs fault.

Yeah they are hard work at times,its double the diapers, double the washing, double the expenditure but its triple the happiness lotsa of smiles.

if the couple would like the twins go for it, they are worth it!!!!!

Kristina - posted on 06/17/2010

Mine were "homemade" as I like to call it. :) The only thing I think is harder was accepting/coming to terms with being pregnant with twins. When you do IVF or other fertility treatments, you always know there is a possibility of multiples. So with ours being naturally conceived, I was totally shocked to find out I was pregnant with twins and it took me a long time to be at peace with it!
As for what it does to your body, it was not much different than my first pregnancy with a singleton. Morning sickness was about the same as with my first. Gained about the same amount of weight. I was a little more uncomfortable towards the end because I was carrying close to 13 pounds of baby. They were born naturally, by induction, at 38 weeks 3 days. Recovery was actually easier than with my first because there were complications with her.
My oldest is almost 7 and the twins are nearly 5, and it took us a long time to decide if we wanted more. But we finally bit the bullet and are (thankfully) expecting one more in October of this year. Your odds of having twins again go up after the first set, but only when they are naturally conceived, so we were "worried" about that in the beginning.
As for the parents afterwards, I have always said that I am glad I had a singleton first...I felt I knew what I was doing when the twins came along. But I know a lot of people who had twins first and they don't know any different. One learns to cope.

Barbara - posted on 06/12/2010

I have 4mnth old twins, thru IVF.(after years of trying) I had the best pregnancy. I had a planned c-section at 38 weeks,& I only gained 35 pounds.(which I have friends that had 1 baby & gained so much more) I wasn't on bedrest nor had any problems. My twins were 6.4 & 5.14 pounds when born. I don't have any other kids, but when I compare my "horror" stories with parents of single babies, they're the same stories.

Katie - posted on 06/11/2010

I used some fertility drugs and had a great pregnancy, no complications at all...just some morning sickness, swollen feet at the end and some heartburn. I worked up until 32 weeks and delivered via c-section at 37 weeks. My girls are 16 months old now and they are great. We were overwhelmed at first but who isn't with newborns...one or more. They are an absolute blessing - I say if the parents are ok with having twins and you are ok with carrying them then go for it. Like I said, they are a blessing and we love every minute with them. Good luck!

Tiffanie - posted on 06/11/2010

i concieved my twins naturally..its not always a horror story..lol..my boys were born a month early..they went straight to the newborn nursery..[no nicu]..they are such a blessing and i wouldn't trade them for anything in this world..they are honestly a handful..but you get use to it after awhile..the most important thing is to get a routine QUICK!!
i wanted to carry a baby [babies] for someone who couldn't..it is just a wonderful gift you can give someone that can't have babies..i admire you for doing it..good luck..
a twin pregnancy is hard but it is a wonderful experience!!

Tiffany - posted on 06/11/2010

I never wanted twins, until I had them. Now I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't know what it's like to have a single baby, but from what people say about having 1 baby, it's not much harder with two. Don't get me wrong...it was hard and I hardly remember their first 18 mos. But, once they start playing together, I think it makes things easier since they always have someone to play with and keep them entertained so that "Mommy" doesn't have to be on the floor playing. Also, a surrogate carried our twins and I have to tell you, Rachel, there is no better gift than to give a couple a child (better yet, two children) when they so desperately want a family! I thank God for our surrogate! On another note, my twins were born early, at 26.3.wks. They weighed 2lbs, 3.5 oz and 2 lbs 8oz and were in the NICU for 71 and 76 days. Luckily, we had really good insurance because the hospital bills would have been impossible to pay. And, by the grace of God, our twins had no lasting medical problems, no eye problems, no lung problems, no learning disabilities, no developmental delays, but that is another concern with twins since they are usually born earlier than a singleton pregnancy.

Rebecca - posted on 06/10/2010

I think offering to be a surrogate is a wonderful thing for you to do. However, a twin pregnancy is a tough pregnancy. When you are struggling with infertility, one baby is a wonderful blessing, let alone two. I think the couple would be just as happy with one healthy baby as two. The reality is that a twin pregnancy is tough and has higher risks for the mom and the babies. And caring for twins is very difficult, particularly when they are infants. I guess my view is why take the risks? The risks to you, to the babies, to the family due to the stress? Implant one, give them one healthy baby, and they can try for another later. I am a mom of 2 year old twin boys. My boys were born at 38 weeks, but it was a hard pregnancy. Plus, I had to have a c-section due to the babies positioning. My twins were conceived after many years of "trying" and we were so thrilled to be having twins!! But the reality of twins is very different and it is very, very hard.

Jennifer - posted on 06/09/2010

My twins were born at 38 weeks. Full - term. 3 weeks before my due date. They were 6'7 and 6'12 and both 19 1/2' long. They were very healthy! I love my twins!

Rachel - posted on 06/09/2010

I have a set of 4 month old boy/girl twins. My pregnancy went pretty good. The babies made it to 38 weeks, 1 day. Emmy had stopped gaining weight and Eli was still gaining so they went ahead and induced. I was in the hospital on bedrest for 5 days before the delivery. It went great. The nice thing was that since they were twins, they were a little smaller to deliver. Emmy was born at 8:30 and Eli at 8:38. She weighed 4 lbs, 13 oz and Eli weighed 6 lbs, 3 oz. They are completely healthy, and they are SOOOO much fun. I get so sick of the negativity also.

I know I had an easy twin pregnancy, but I wouldn't trade them for anything. We had trouble getting pregnant, and they were a result of fertility treatments. Such a blessing.

I think it's SOOOOO awesome that you would consider doing this for someone who can't have their own. If they've got a positive attitude about having twins then I say go for it! This may be their only chance at having their own kids, and that is such a special thing.

Sarah - posted on 06/08/2010

I have 17mos boys. They are wonderful. Yes it's hard, but it's a joy. I conceived naturally and I was so scared. Now I'm elated. They love each other. They're playmates and foes (at times). I would definitely do it again. As for the pregnancy, it was uncomfortable. Mine was fairly uneventful. I did go in the hospital
a 6 weeks before I delivered b/c of early contractions, but the doc's stopped and I came home 4 days later. I delivered at 38 weeks, vaginally (with meds though). Toren (baby a) was 6lbs 1oz and Tavin (baby b) was 6lbs 14oz!
Good Luck!

Elizabeth - posted on 06/07/2010

Every pregnancy is so different! My twin boys are 6 months old and everything has been great. I felt better than ever through the whole pregnancy (I actually miss it!) - just got kinda uncomfortable towards the end when I was carrying so much extra weight. Mine were born at 38 weeks, 6lbs 7oz and 7lbs 3oz. They have been healthy, happy babies and we are having tons of fun with them.

Amy - posted on 06/06/2010

No, not all twin pregnancies are horribly. I loved beeing pregnant, especially with my twins. I carried them to 38 weeks.Not problems or complications at all. They were 8lb 3oz ans 8lb 11oz. Just 2 big, beautiful, health girls.

At 1st was a little difficult, we had no friends or family help. It was just me(mainly) cause my husband worked early mornings. And I also had 3 older kids. but once they slept thru the night things were great and still are great. I would never change any of it

Amy - posted on 06/06/2010

I am a twin!!! AndI have twins!!! I believe that it's so great. My sister and I are best friends and always have been. My girls are 2 1\2, and they are much closer than my other chikdren are. They love being together. They are very different but every child is different. They are BF. Sometimes they do things seperate, but mostly they choose to be with each other.
My husband also has a twin brother and they were and still are today very close

Mandy - posted on 06/05/2010

I delivered my twin boys 12yrs ago naturally and no fertility meds on June 3, 1998. Went into preterm labor a few times, put on bed rest and had them at 35 weeks. They never went to NCUI, they came home with me and have had no problems to this day.
Twin-A was 4lbs. 6oz and Twin-B was 5lbs, 4oz. I had a little girl 2years prior to having the twins and wanted another baby. Had a sonogram at nine weeks they only seen one baby at that time and it was not until I was SIX months pregnant that they discovered I was having twins. I was too big and my measurements were not right. Was sent to have ultrasound and what do you know it was twins.They were a totally surprise! I was extremely scared because I was on 20years old and already had a toddler. As long as I kept them on a schedule everything was fine. They have been a blessing! After having the twins I wanted another little and tried for nearly 7years. After every attempt we had to do IVF and we got lucky an had A baby girl in Sep 3, 2009. The way I look at it is God never gives you more than you can handle and you somehow learn to manage!

Elizabeth - posted on 06/05/2010

I never had that much trouble... I had them natual and almost a c-section but did not... My cervix close. Then it reopened after 14 minutes later...After 9 has been ruff but working on because still.. They will be 12 in Dec. Teen age and the change is going though them...

Jessi - posted on 06/05/2010

sorry lol no links allowed i forgot but my name is afwife4ever that will work if ur interested

Jessi - posted on 06/05/2010

i was excited to find out i was carrying twins esp to find out i am a hyper ovulator which means i have an 85% chance of multiples each time !! i had a exteremly bad case of morning sickness 24/7 but other than that my pregnancy was healthy the babies did great i got 4 feet around and i am 5'1" lol but i got to feel them move at 5 weeks and then the kicking and rolling all the wonderfullnes of pregnancy came so early for me!! i did go into preterm labor but they kept them in for two weeks then i had them jan 12,2010 . 6 weeks early we were due feb 25 but i knew we werent gonna make it i was uncomfortable and tired and miserable my last few weeks but dispite that i enjoyed myself and lived for they wiggles and kicks i went into labor at 4:30 am my water broke in the car we met the ambulance and by the time we got to the hosp rm she was crowning i had no ime for pain meds but dispite the horrid pain i could see her reflection in the light thing above me so i could see her crowning then i saw her birth!! and i could feel everything as she came out her nose shoulders feet everything it was trully amazing and i forgot my pain she was born at 6:05 am not even 2 hrs after i started she weighed 4.5 unfortunately Remington has his lil arm above his head and they couldn't get it down so they c-sectioned him at 6:20 weighing 4.4 i was sorely disappointed i didnt have them both naturally but for me it was a fairly easy ,very healthy pregnancy ending w a short quick delivery they were in the nicu 2 weeks for no other reason than to learn to eat! now they are soon to be 5 months she weighs 11.3 and he weighs 13.6 they are happy and healthy and a complete joy to me they are already crawling and pulling up to stand they were rolling over at 2 weeks sitting up at 3mnths so smart and fun i would never trade it for the world i would be soo bored w just one baby lol although i have been told twins are easier than singletons bc they entertain eachother i am insulted when ppl say things like double trouble, it must be hard , better you than me, im so sorry for you, and just stupid stuff they say when they have no clue at all how fun and joyful it is i love love LOVE being mommy too these two brilliant beautiful babies!! i have videos of them up on youtube you can find them with this link!!
i am proud of my babies and hope that next pregnancy is also multiples !! awesome thing you do being a surro mom i comend and respect that !!

Therese - posted on 06/05/2010

I have twin boys age 11. I got pregnant and surprise I was having twins. I was shocked to say the least since this was my first pregnency. Yes, it is very hard to raise twins as infants (two babies crying at once, etc) I always felt that I was giving one baby more attention than the other. I did have a lot of help from my mom who came over every day!!.she was an angel. BUT they are a blessing. my twins are the best of friends. They have different personalities and different likes and dislikes. They were taught that they will always have eachother in life and to support one another. they do fight as this is normal too. now that they are older it is easy to give one on one time with them. I understand people saying nasty thing. when my kids were little and I would take them to the mall a lot of people would tell me what trouble twins were and say all this negative stuff. I hated that. I just smiled and told the people that they were not trouble but a blessing. As far a being a surro mom, good for you. I would just place one embryo in. It will be easier on your body as a twin pregancy can be hard. i was on bedrest at 6 months and toward the end was in a lot of discomfort as one of the babies was on my siatic nerve. good luck with your decision

Betty - posted on 06/05/2010

giving someone a child that would not have one otherwise is a rear blessing that any one willing to take the risks of pregnancy for some one else i pray for you and that more people like you stand up and help others i have 3 myself 4yrsold and identical 17 mos i had an easy pregnancy with my twins born at 36 weeks 5lbs 2oz and 5 lbs 12 oz on 1-3 went home 1-7 and have no problems with taking care of my own babies the only thing i ask of you is set limits for ur body and stick to them just because the couple can afford to have 2,3 or even 4 dont put you self at that high risk and dont let them change ur mind cause even if they only implant 2 embryos they can still split to make more so be sure to discuss reduction with the parents before u get started and make them hold to it cause at any age even with a singleton the stress can kill you so be careful set a number of children and stick to that number

Christina - posted on 06/05/2010

I have 12 year old twin boys. They were a surprise. I planned my pregnancy but had only planned on one but I would not change that experience for anything in the world. I was freaking out about it when I found out. I don't think that it was that hard when they were babies (I was basically alone because my then husband worked on the road). I also had a three year old boy at the time. So I really had a full plate. It did get a little harder when they started walking. They never wanted to go in the same direction...lol. Adam and Ryan were fraternal but still shared a little of the twin psyche...lol. But now as 12 year olds they have their own distinct personalities. Ryan is more independent (first out) and Adam is more dependent on Ryan (the baby). I had a very easy pregnancy with them. I barely had to go on bedrest, but I had to go to more appointments while carrying them. I carried them to 38 weeks, which is long for being pregnant for twins.there were no complications and they weighed in at 5 pounds 11 ounces and 6 pounds 11 ounces.

Eva - posted on 06/05/2010

I don't know if you can really imagine how horrible a twin pregnancy is. I carried twins to 38 weeks, and they were 7.3 and 8.4. I was hospitalized for a kidney infection because the babies were crushing my kidneys. For the first 3 months I was sicker and more nauseated than I have ever been in my life, and it was constant. You go from that to feeling like you're full term with a singleton for the whole 2nd trimester. IF you make it past that, the last three months are a TORTUROUS HELL that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I could barely walk or move. I was in constant pain. My stomach is shredded with stretch marks that itched like poison ivy all day and night. If someone paid me a MILLION dollars, I would not carry twins for someone else. The only thing that has made it worthwhile is getting to keep the babies afterward, which is pretty difficult too.

If you are seriously thinking about doing this, you should do a lot of research. So many more things are likely to go wrong during a twin pregnancy and birth. You have a 50% chance of having a c-section, even if both babies are head-down. You have a higher mortality rate because of increased risk of hemorrhaging. The list goes on and on. I don't mean to sound so negative, but I am just being honest.

Emma - posted on 06/05/2010

i conceived twins naturally but du u knw wat! i wouldnt swap it for the world! yes it was especially hard when they were newborn but as long as you have some type of support ofg family or husband its fine! you get through it! my twins are 5 months and have slept through the night from 11 weeks! they are easier than my 3 year old and they bring so much joy to my life! they also have a special bond the way they look at each other and laugh and smile, its amazing! i have also been told by other twin mums that sometimes when they get older they entertain each other so in some respects it can be easier! honestly its not that hard if i can do it with a 3 year old and twin girls and i am 27, its a blessing and really not that bad they bring you more joy than anything! i would say a twin pregnancy s harder you will be monitored closely and you may even go into early labour, it depends! i had my twins at 38 weeks via c section as twin 1 was breech, they were 6lbs 9 and 6lbs 11 oz! but depending what way twin 1 faces you can have a natural birth, its really not that different to giving birth to 1 baby as my friend had hers naturally and this is what she told me! hope all goes well for you

Wendy - posted on 06/04/2010

You have been given a lot of good advice. I had already had one child and got pregnant with twins. Here is my two cents... (I dearly love and would never change what I have) twins do take a toll on any marriage. Statistics state that close to 60-75% of couples with twins or adoptions from other countries seperate or divorce. I also have friends that had twins first had twins and do not face the issues of having an older child.
Be prepaired that your body may NOT go back to "before" babies... Many that carrie twins end up with the center muscles tearing and have to have that muscle stitched back together (tummy tuck) other wise they cary a dunn-lopp or better known as a baby bump belly. My twins were 7lbs 1oz and 6lbs 3oz. I asked to have them taken at 38 weeks (mother's intuition- good thing as my little girl was starting to take all of the nutirants from little guy.)
It isn't easy and as a first time parent with only one I couldn't imagine the overwhelming feeling with 2 the first time. Some families adjust well- I could never step up and do what you are offering to do; I find you a very brave person.
But be ready for any and all complications because it truley does double if you carry twins.

Noelle - posted on 06/04/2010

I have 9mo twin boys - I was put on bedrest at 22 weeks, and admitted to the hospital at 23 weeks for preterm labor. I stayed on full bedrest in the hosp. until 36 weeks and 6 days when I was induced by choice and delivered naturally. My boys were 5 lbs 15 oz and 4lbs 9oz. Neither went to the NICU, and we all went home together 3 days later. Raising twins is difficult, there is no doubt about that, but it's a labor of complete LOVE. Speaking as somone who had to do IVF to get pregnant, they are cherished, wanted and loved. But that doesn't mean it's easy raising them and there have been days that I've gone into the bathroom, closed the door and cried - but I wouldn't change it for anything. You are doing an amazing thing! Don't let others influence your decision if you are comfortable knowing the challenges of having twins for this couple and decide to go for it, who is anyone else to tell you it's wrong??

Louise - posted on 06/04/2010

I have twin id boys through ivf who are 3 now. I had a good pregnancy, no sickness, cravings, yes did get tired and got big very quickly, they were born at 37wks by elected c section and had no problems what so ever, was home with them under 48 hours later. I didn't find it hard when they were small as both woke for feeds at same time and they were breast fed, no problems with anything, so I guess I am really lucky. I wouldn't swap them for the world and yes I would go through it all again as having twins is great fun, they make your world and I wouldn't be without them for anything. I hope that if the pregnancy is twins the couple you are a surro for have them bring as much joy and love into their lives as it has for us. I know there is a higher risk of twin pregnancies but the drs do monitor you a lot closer and all pregnancies are different. Hope all works out well for all of you, and let us know if there are twins on the way!!

Mary - posted on 06/04/2010

My twins were born at 32weeks 5days and my son who was born first spent 3 weeks in the NICU and my Daughter spent 5 weeks in the NICU. I cried the day I took my son home because my daughter was still in NICU and I wanted them both home. But I am very happy with my 2 little one year olds and would not change what I have for anything in the world.

Claire - posted on 06/03/2010

I HAD MY TWINS 11 YEARS AGO AND TWINS ARE A BLLESSING AND ONE OF THE BEST PRESENTS YOU CAN GIVE ANYONE.I WENT ON TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD AFTER THAT AND I WAS ABLE TO DELIVER HER MYSELF RATHER THAN BY CS .I HAD TO HAVE A CS ON THE TWINS.WHEN YOU HAVE TWINS YOU LEARN TO ADJUST YOUR LIFE AND THERE ARE CERTAIN ADVANTAGES TO HAVING TWO AS THEY CAN BE COMPANY FOR EACH OTHER.I FEEL ITS AS EASY TO GET INTO A ROUTINE FOR TWINS AS A SINGLETON.YOU JUST DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO LOOK AFTER THEM AND BY THE TIME THEY ARE TWO YOU LOOK BACK AND WHEN SOMEONE SAYS HOW DID YOU DO IT YOU JUST SAY I DONT KNOW AS YOU JUST KEPT GOING.I WOULDNT TRADE MY TWINS FOR ANYTHING .I HAD TWINS 4 DAYS EARLY AND THEY WERE 6IB3 AND 7IB.YOU ARE DOING A VERY SPECIAL FOR SOMEONE AND GOOD LUCK.

Kerri-lyn Delorme - posted on 06/03/2010

my twins are now 7 turning 8 they were almost 7 weeks early I had a hard pregnancy but they're weights were good 4pounds 1oz and 5pounds 13 oz they were only in the neonatal ward for less than one week before being transfered to the regular nursery where they were there for another week before coming home !!!! born on sept.4 and home sept.16.They are alot of work but worth every minute,see I am a mother of 5 the twins were baby # 4 and 5.The only thing I find frustrating is that everyone tries to find the differences with them "Her hair is alittle darker or her face is chubbier' Can't we be happy they are happy, healthy and their own little personalities? oh yes they are idenical and no matter how I dress them everyone still gets mixed up! And it would be a wonderful thing to do for a couple.

Victoria - posted on 06/03/2010

BTW, I have since had two more singleton babies. The middle pregnancy came two years after the twins and our last was only 15 months after that. Since our twins were our first children, we never knew what it was like to have only one so it didn't seem "harder" to us as we had nothing to compare it to. Conversly, having just one at a time after that was a breeze in comparison!

Victoria - posted on 06/03/2010

First of all, you are amazing! I could never do what you are able to do for others! I was a very healthy 34 year old & conceived twins naturally. (They were my first 2, BTW) I had a very easy pregnancy with no complications whatsoever. I did deliver early-35 weeks, 1 day-but I'm pretty sure it was caused by my over doing & not taking it easy enough. I hung wall paper in the nursery the day before my daughter's water broke. Of course in hindsight, I wish I had been more cautious, but they are now 6 and healthy! I used Palmer's on my belly every day & have NO stretch marks! (my waist went from 23" to 47" in 7 1/2 months!) Post-partum body was difficult, but with good eating habits & exercise, the pre-twins body is attainable, give or take a pound or two. Best of luck!

Rachel - posted on 06/03/2010

Thank you SO much for all of the great responses!! I asked this same question on babygaga.com and after a few responses, everyone seemed to attack me. I got caught up in all of it, and by the end of the discussion, we were all yelling at eachother and calling eachother names. It was awful. :( I hate drama, and I was just asking for some advice.

Here is what I got: http://forum.baby-gaga.com/about1167965....

Thanks so much for the responses! I know all of you twin mama's are so strong. Just having one baby, I can imagine how hard it must be! But I'm sure it's double the blessings, too.

I agree about the post-partum body. Sometimes I wonder if I should stop being a surrogate because of all of the stretch marks and flab I get from each pregnancy. But I love it so much. I love being able to tell a couple that they are expecting a baby when they've been trying for so long. It's nice to see happy tears when I know that they've spent years crying because of infertility and lost hope. I feel like offering 9 months of my time is a small sacrifice to make so that a couple can become a family.

If I was in the same situation, I would love and appreciate a surrogate that would do the same thing for me. Being a mom is the greatest thing ever, I can't imagine the pain from infertility. I think alot of women take fertility for granted. I definitely did, until I looked into surrogacy!

Thanks for the great comments, it makes me more comfortable and excited about carrying twins for another couple (should that opportunity arise).

Tristin - posted on 06/03/2010

I am a twin and I had twins! You are doing a wonderful thing for this couple! I miscarried twins back in '07 (naturally) & we finally went IVF since we were trying for over 3 years to get pregnant. I LOVE my babies sooo much! I had a difficult pregnancy 1st & 3rd trimester were on bedrest. However, my babies went to 38 wks! I was so so uncomfortable since I was so big! I gained 45 lbs (& lost it all in two weeks after). I had to go c-section since I wouldn't dialate past a 4. My daughter weighed 6 lb. & my son was 6.7 lbs. She had reflux for the first 5 months... It was sooooo hard, but we got through it. They had to be on 2 different formulas also. By the time she started sitting up and crawling... she never had any more problems. They have done so well, he started walking at 8 months & she at 9 1/2 months!!! They just turned 1 yr old a couple of weeks ago... There are horror stories with everything out there, but there are also great ones too! So, you just make the best of it.
I do have lots of flab & stretch marks, but I see it as my battle scars since I have 2 miracles and they are MUCH more important than me! Good Luck!

Jodi - posted on 06/03/2010

The question isn't why would you carry twins, but why WOULDN'T you carry the twins for this couple?? I never "asked" for twins, I never planned to get pregnant. However, I was "naturally" blessed with the gift of twin daughters, who are now 4. To beat that, I am a single mom to these twins, but that's not to say I do it alone because I have an extreme amount of help from my mother. True, there may be an issue with an independent twin and a dependent one, but you raise them not as one person, but as the individuals they are. Twins have a bond, a friendship like none you've ever known. Yes, they will fight, as siblings do, but they also look/ask for one another when they are apart. In the end, they are inseperable. The best gift you could give to any couple is the gift of twins. I'm not sure if the mothers who lashed out at you were parents of twins and if they are, I question why they would ever say "I'd never wish it on anyone" And if they aren't parents of twins, then they have no right to speculate how hard it is or that you are doing the children wrong.

True, you run the chances of a risky pregnancy when carrying multiples. Myself, I had no problems and carried my twin to 38 weeks, delivered via scheduled C-Section without the startings of labor/delivery. Make sure you have an attentive and knowledgeable OB. Good luck with your endeavors!!!

Kate - posted on 06/03/2010

Not all twin pregnancies are a horror story. l had my twins 10 months ago when l was 46 years old. Yes, l got huge. l say the pictures of me the last day of the pregnancy are gotesque, but l love them and l'm very proud of them (the pictures). Walking was difficult for the last 2 months. l carried my boys to 38 1/2 weeks with a scheduled c-section, l cannot have a vaginal birth because of a surgery prior to remove a fibroid tumor. Many twin pregnancies go to full term or near full term. l know another mom in the town where l live who carried hers even longer than me. Neither her babies nor mine were in the NICU at all. l did have to eat so much that l got tired of eating, but l've always been a big eater anyway.
As for taking care of the twins after l had them, it was hard. l think it was no harder than having one collicky baby, though. (l've had 3 other children and none of mine had collic.) Once they started crawling it's gotten a whole lot easier. The benefits and joy of watching them together now way outweigh the hardship of the pregnancy and how hard it was for the first 3 months.
lt's been such a joy that we are going for another set of twins two months from now. We have 2 more frozen embryos. First we did one embryo because of the fibroid surgery and has our son in March of 2007. Then we did 2 embryos and had the twins in July 2009. This time we are doing 2 again and if ti works, they or he/she will be born next April.
One more thing. My dr says using myultiple embryos doesn't really increase the chance of it working, it increases the chance of having multiples. lf your body is ready and accepts the embryo, lt doesn't matter if there is one or three. That's if you have good, perfect embryos. We had 4 perfect ones and one that just a tiny bit slower in its developement. l said to my partner "maybe that one is the girl" as the other 3 we've had were all boys.
Also l like to tell everyone in the states that if you are pregnant and are having trouble walking, you can get a temporary handicapped parking tag. lt's easy. Go to your local DMV office and ask for the form. Take it to your dr to fill out, just tell him/her you are having trouble walking. Then take the form back to DMV. They issue the tag immed. Mine expired the day of my due date. l didn't even do this myself. My partner did the whole thing for me. After l had the twins and it expired, l still wished l'd had the tag. lf l have twins again, l'm going to ask to have the tag expire 6 weeks later, after l've healed from the c-section.

Celeste - posted on 06/03/2010

I don't know, I have mixed feelings. Let me first say that I LOVE my twins and never would trade it for the world.



Having said that, their pregnancy was hard. My twin pregnancy was MUCH harder and MUCH different than my singleton pregnancy. I got bigger quicker and because I got bigger quicker, I had got pain that you'd normally get in the 3rd, sooner. I also was put on bedrest due to preterm labor. It's hard going through your pregnancy afraid of going into preterm labor and possibly having some complications.



But of course, that doesn't mean you'll go through the same. Just be aware that it's more common with twins.



Because of their prematurity, they've had struggles. One of my boys is developmentally delayed and both boys are speech delayed. It's a struggle for me because there are some days that I blame myself.



Anyway, I'd just read up as much as you can about twin pregnancy. Educate and inform yourself. Twins ARE a blessing and a gift, just be aware of what it entails.

CHERYL - posted on 06/03/2010

hi i had my twins by icsi ivf and they are now 11ms old they were born early 32w5d boy 3lb8 girl 3lb5 stayed in nicu for 3wks for feeding and putting weight.had a very good pregnancy with no probs. it was hard going at 1st both had colic. i do think i would of found it hard with one baby it was mainy me trying to get used to being a mummy. after years of wanting a baby. i love my twins more than anything and on hard days i remember the pain of being told that i coundnt have children and when i had my 1st cycle it didnt work..so i feel the luckest lady alive. i think what you are doing is the nicest gift that you can give to a couple a very unselfish thing.i would take 2 embryos as they both might not take. i feel i have a complete family and am not and cannot afford anymore goes at ivf.take care and good luck

Donna - posted on 06/02/2010

i had twins my first pregnancy and Im sorry but they were 100% surprise, my husband and I never took any fertility drugs, they just happened. Now they r 5 and a handful, Any more they are out to test their boundries more than ever.

Pip - posted on 06/02/2010

I'm totally in love with my twins although they were a shock as we already had 4 kids. Yes they are hard work but worth the effort. Mine were 10 weeks early nearly 2 yrs ago. They had a rough trot through the NICU but they are doing all the right things now. Twins are an amazing blessing. Good luck to you.

Jennifer - posted on 06/02/2010

I love my twins! I would not change anything! They are 5 years old and I love them very much! Again, I would not change a thing!

Kimberly - posted on 06/02/2010

It would be a hard decision as some twin pregnancies are much more difficult than a singleton pregnancy. Some people carry them just fine though and it always helps if you are a very healthy person, and also having fraternal twins eliminates some of the risk of identicals, so that would be on your side. Just remember to be ready for anything and have a plan in case you need to go on bed rest! Best of luck!

Rachel - posted on 06/02/2010

Aww.. congrats! How long were they in the NICU? And did they have any problems early on?

I have decided to carry twins for the couple if it happens. I know that it's nothing that is controllable, but I decided I would be open to it. I know they would be great parents, and they desperately would love twins. :)