Need to vent ---people overwhelm me. Attention with twins is hard sometimes

Shalu - posted on 02/24/2010 ( 70 moms have responded )

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I do not mean to sound ungrateful that people find my twins amusing, I sometimes do not mind answering the NUMEROUS questions over and over again. Yet sometimes either me or my two girls are having an off day. You know the day when you are lucky that you ran a brush through your hair, and are not in the mood to talk. Not only that but why is it that the "novelty" of having twins opens us up for people to feel free to touch them or even lift up their blanket covering to take a look without asking. Not only that but sometimes the questions or comments are downright invasive. From you did not have them on purpose because it is trendy did you? to Well better me than you or I hope you are breastfeeding them because even though it may be tough with two it IS possible if you care enough. To are they natural (no, they are made of plastic). Okay I am so sorry this message is kind of negative but I really needed to vent, and am open to anyone who has found a way to deal with this issue.

Usually I am okay and people are for the most part nice and intrigued, but there are always that few that just wear. Again I am so sorry to vent but I just got back from Costco on what turned out to be a nightmare outing. I feel guilty because I left a bit out of sorts. I am so open to advice on how to cope better or at least answer as politely as possible even when one of my daughters may be in the middle of a meltdown at the time.

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Sally - posted on 03/10/2010

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Costco is the worst for me too!!! It started when I was pregnant... now of course caring twins I WAS HUGE... People used to stop dead in their tracks and just stare at me... I used to get such stupid comments. People always asked me how far along I was and when I'd say 6 months their jaws would drop...Now when I go out with my girls everyone seems to want to stop us and ask us such inappropriate questions. Like you, I am usually pretty good, but, sometimes I just want to do my shopping and go. Costco is busy enough as it is and to have people stop us with our monster stroller and shopping cart in the middle of the isles... sometimes I feel like we're a freak show!!! And on top of it all... my girls will be wearing pink and their car seat sacks are pink with bunnies and the people still ask me, " are they girls or boys?" Really? I try not to get frustrated. A lot of the time my husband and I just ignore people... we hear them stop and make comments like.... "look twins" but we just keep walking like we didn't hear them. Shopping that should've taken 1 hour becomes 2 hours with all the stopping from people and then 3 hours cause then it's time to feed them.
I have gotten everyone come at me about breastfeeding... I know it's breast milk is good for my girls... I know what the benefits of breast milk are... I know that you can pump so they're not feeding on you the whole time... I know I know I know!!! I know it can be done but life gets in the way. Aside from cleaning and cooking and laundry and shopping there is little time for anything else... let alone sleeping! Sometimes I wish people would get off my case about the breastfeeding, especially strangers that ask those inappropriate questions to begin with.
Now... as you... I feel sometimes that I am being negative, (especially now) but life gets in the way and I find that bottle feeding my children works for me and they are getting the nutrition that they need (and then some) and that's all that matters.
Sorry for venting also... but... rest assured there are people out there that feel as you do, you're not alone :)

Tia - posted on 03/01/2010

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The feeling of being circus freaks never really stops. I still get stopped by total strangers everywhere I go, all with advice of some kind or a joke I've heard about a hundred times. You could get a couple of those car seat covers that only open for the babies' face and perhaps that will deter some people. Now that my boys are almost a year old, they love all of the attention. I strongly recommend going out of the house with a buddy (just another grown up) who can help you and make it seem like you are in a hurry if needed. :-p "Well, we'd better get going if we're going to get *insert location* on time...." Hope that helps!

Crystal - posted on 02/28/2010

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Never really found a great way to deal with the invasive stuff. The innocent little questions are easier, but when a total stranger starts asking me if I took fertility treatments,it really wears on the nerves. Not to mention the endlesss number of sweet, curious granny ladies that just think they have to touch them, like they expect them to feel ierd or something. I am not much for good advice today, but have plenty of sympathy for your situation, my twins are about to turn 5yrs old. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, however, as they get older people seem to find them less fascinating. Now I am more commonly asked how old they are, people assume that they are just born really close together, rather than them being twins, but mine are fraternal and really don't look that much alike. Just hang in there, this will ease off as they grow.

Cindy - posted on 02/27/2010

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Trust me when I tell you I trully understand about the questions. I am visually impaired and have idential twins, and I happen to use a dog guide, so I get asked all the time are they twins, how do you tell them apart, you must have your hands full, or I just don't know how you do it. Or when they really don't know what to say they just walk past you and say god bless you. To that I reply he already has, but thank you non the less. Somedays though you just want to pull your hair out if you get asked just one more dumb twin question. One thing I have found that does help though is dressing them simerly, but maybe in different colors then it takes people a little longer to realize there twins and gives you a little extra time to get away before you can get the dumb questions.

Vicki - posted on 02/27/2010

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i know EXACTLY how you feel!!! I cant recall the number of times that i've been quizzed over whether the 'twinnies' (such an ANNOYING expression in itself!!) were born premature, delivered naturally or via c-section, breat or bottle fed - why the f**k should you care - they're not YOURS!!! My dorky 1st cousin who has a huge mouth asked point blank if they were conceived via IVF & (they were actually) so i said they're natural (my egg & my DH's sperm) - so i said to him & his even more annoying wife who have 2 sproggettes, so what position did you use to conceive??? End of conversation....haha! If i dont feel like being accosted by well-meaning strangers down the sreet I pick up my pace & if they try to block my path to stop me I call out, "REALLY BAD DAY!" & keep moving!!!

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Kasey - posted on 08/16/2011

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Ughhh! I remmeber those days when my girls were younger! Ppl would see the double stroller (blue...only cute one at store) and my babies would be covered in their PINK blankets and pink outfits and ppl would ask...are they boys or girls? Wtf do u think! LOL (although I never said it! Another thing: my hubby and I took the twins to dinner (our usual hometown mexican rest)! As we were checking out, the young girl ask "is he the daddy bc they BOTH look just like him"! Ummmmu think! But yes, going out w/ twins (and still is)...I always get stopped by ppl w/ ?s...lots of them!! When they were little, if I stopped to answer ?s, the babies would start to cry so I used them as my excuse to get moving aka NO MORE QUESTIONS

Khadijah - posted on 08/15/2011

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I go through this ALL THE TIME!!! And yes, there are days that I am simply not in the mood to entertain people nor are my twin girls. I've had one incident where a woman was trying to hold a conversation with me even though my girls were going through stranger anxiety and having a full blown melt down because she was so close to us and got right up in their face and reached out to them. They started pulling me in the opposite direction (I mean literally pulling my shirt down) and this woman continued to talk as if she was not seeing this. So at that point I politely said "Excuse me miss, I really have to cut this short so that I can tend to my girls. It was nice chatting with you." and walked away while trying to console them.



The fact is, a lot of people just don't get it, so we have to find crafty ways of getting out of these situations as quickly as possible, because bottom line....everyone isn't going to like the way you handle things but its a MUST when going out in public. Some days I make it a point not to make eye contact so that I can get in and out of the store without so many interuptions.

Dorothy - posted on 08/14/2011

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I have 2 sets and am apparently a walking freak show! most days I am ok with all the questions and incredibly rude comments other days not so much. i try to be as polite as possible but sometimes it is really hard. my first set just turned 6 and my younger ones are 1 and I also have a 3 year old between them. i feel so bad for my 3 year old she is always left out by people so i let her answer the questions if she wants to so at least she is included :( or i make sure to tell everyone how great of a sister she is and how many great things she can do. I understand people are curious but really? I have 5 young kids and obviously I am out with things to do and dragging it out longer is not a good idea :)

Jondean - posted on 08/14/2011

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Yes! YES!! Ugh, I can't believe how crazy people get when they see you have twins! There will be babies to the left of me, and to the right of me...but people feel perfectly fine stopping me in the street to talk about my boys. And while I believe they are the two most special boys in the planet...if I'm walking along at a brisk pace, the las thing I want to do is stop to answer a million crazy questions about them, or to hear nonsense like "Oh, you've got your hands full!" or even worse "Double Trouble!!" Huh...my boys do not trouble me in the slightest! And I've definitely had women ask me about their sleep routines, and about breast feeding (they've thrived on formula thanks!, and even why I didn't give them rhyming names! Now when I go out, I just give people the plastic grin that says "Hi, get out of our way thanks!"

Tracy - posted on 08/14/2011

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I remember those days! I would have good and bad ones then too...the good thing is the kids won't remember it...just us Moms! My girls are 6 years old now, and now they notice being stared at and have asked me why? That's a hard to answer...because the first time it upset them because neither of my girls likes the spotlight. They thought there was something wrong with them. Now, as people try to chat with them or me, I dread the worst question ever...Which one of you is smarter? or some variation. I have had people ask me this in front of Mia and Laini and they understand what the question means...each of them has asked me if one should be smart and one dumb. Same goes for the next crappy question of Which one is the good one? same type of questions from my girls. Are people so STUPID to A) ask this in front of 6 years olds and B) do they really think twins identical or fraternal have to be opposites? This drives me crazy and I'm not nearly as nice as I used to be to the dumb questions as babies...these questions now CAN hurt my kids and I'm a protective Momma!!! One time, Mia asked me about the question still within ear shot of the idiot that asked and I simply told her that not all people are smart enough to realize when they are being mean and to ignore her...we don't know her nor would we ever! That helped Mia some, but both of the girls were in tears.

Emily - posted on 03/27/2010

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Yes, I know exactly how you feel! I also have days where I don't mind, actually most of the time I'll go with the flow, what can I say I'm a bit of a chatterbox anyway, but other times it's just too much, or the kids are JUST about to lose it and I really just want to get out of where I am before I have two screaming babies! With regards to the touching, I've found the best way to handle is to say "please don't touch, they have just had a bad bug and I wouldn't want you to get sick"....amazing how fast they take their hands away and stand back! It would never occurr to me to touch a stranger's baby, so this is one thing I just don't get. The questions, well, most of the time I'm okay, but the touching....nope. I also love the question "are they identical" when it's a boy and a girl. Sometimes, I think you just have to laugh it off. Good luck, and congrats on your little ones!

Carla - posted on 03/27/2010

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the whole time I was reading your post i had a smile on my face and was nodding my head. So true. Usually I just grin and bare it, say "yes they are twins, no they are not one boy and one girl" and keep on walking. I almost hate shopping because a quick trip to Walmart or heaven forbid Costco (mad house) turns into 2 hours by the time I get stopped a billion times and finally get what I went out for. I know people are just being friendly. That is the only reason I have not blown my top. I guess we had better get used to it, we have many years ahead of us.

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Wow. What a relief to read all of these comments and know that we are not alone. We have 3 month old fraternal twin girls. It really is amazing what people will say and do when they see you have twins. I have found myself avoiding eye contact with anyone, and ignoring most comments by continuing to walk on by. Our time is very precious. I don't need to waste it talking with random people. We are so blessed to have these special little people. Yes, they are twins...now move on.

Shalu - posted on 03/16/2010

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Thank you everyone who has responded. You all have been so helpful and it is so encouraging to know that I am not the only one. We are all so blessed :):):). It makes me so happy to read how many have twins. Yes, it can e challenging, but the rewards are so worth it.
I still have bad days where the questions people ask are invasive but I am getting better at letting it slide.

Anassiri - posted on 03/12/2010

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OMG exactly how I feel... and like you said they dont even ask if they can touch them, they come and lift their blankets or wake them up if they are sleeping!!
i know its special to have twins but sometimes, somedays I just want to be left alone.

i just smile politely and keep walking...
and I know this wont end so just embrace ourselves with a big-fake smile!!
i know it sounds horrible....

hope you and your little girls are doing awesome!!

Gail - posted on 03/12/2010

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My twin girls are 3 now and get a lot less attention than they used to. While it didn't usually bother me too much (although I didn't usually have people touch them without permission-that would bug me), I have to agree that there were days that I was tired and just wanted to get my shopping done quickly! The only comment that really bothered me was someone telling me I was brave for having twins--like I had a choice! When my twins turned 1, I had t-shirts made that said "Yes we are twins, yes we are identical, yes we were born early, yes we are adorable, nice talking to you!" But for the most part though, I am just as intrigued with my twins as everyone else is! The main thing is, they aren't babies for long so enjoy it and know that you have a precious gift that many other people think they want!

Crystal - posted on 03/10/2010

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Well the way me and my partner have learned to deal with this issue is we taught both of our girls to Raspberry and growl at people that just walk up to us while we are out ie at the store, taking our walks... they scowl at us and walk away. we just laugh at them...go about our business.

I know that we shouldnt have done that but after 11mths of the probing questions and sometimes often rude comments ( because im already due to have another lil one) we got sick of it...and decided to try and get a laugh out of the situation instead of getting upset

Noelle - posted on 03/10/2010

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My twins boys are 7 months old, and I had a woman brush past DH and myself at Target, reach into the stroller and start touching one of my boys on his face. I came unglued and yelled "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!!" she jumped back and got nasty with me and said "I was just looking". I said "I have no idea who you are! They are not toys!" Another woman literally chased DH and me through WalMart trying to "see" the twins. We had to run with the double stroller to get away from her!! Or the elderly lady in the check out line at Safeway who asked if I was breast feeding. (Do I know you lady??) I keep asking myself what on earth makes these people to act in such a manner?! We've almost totally abandonded going out together and taking the boys as it has become such a nighmare to deal with people and their lack of common sense! And the parents who let their toddlers and young children touch the babies - did they want strangers touching their children??!! It is so refreshing to know that we are not the only ones who have struggled with these issues! Yea for twin parents!

Lori - posted on 03/10/2010

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i like the idea of having flyers ready to hand out! & i've thought of the sign too...

i hear ya sisters! for the most part, i don't mind the attention we get, but there are days boy...

i have 7 &1/2 month old non-identical boys
i'm starting to get annoyed with the "how do you tell them apart?" question. they are my babies, i know who's who, it's never ever been a question!
one of my boys is a good 5-6lbs heavier & just all around bigger than his brother & people make comments along the lines of "oh, he must steal his brothers food when you're not looking" or "do you feed the same one twice?" grr. they are INDIVIDUALS, TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE! & they are BOTH beautiful & wonderful & perfect! (oh & people all think they're so smart & "guess" that the bigger one was born first, like the smaller one is the runt of the litter or something, & they are always so suprised when i tell them he's the younger one)
"are they identical?" well, let's see...one is BLONDE & one is BRUNETTE, one has BLUE eyes & one has GREEN eyes, one has FAIR skin & one has OLIVE skin, not to mention the 5lb weight difference...& you wonder how i tell them apart? LOL
"do twins run in the family?" "well, let me just whip out my copy of our family tree & show you here...(picture a big folding map)" (i wonder if i did that if people would be like, uh-oh...& try to get away from ME for a change! haha)
& they expect that because one of them is smiling, they should both be & poor mason gets called grumpy a lot because he doesn't give his smiles away like his brother does. he studies people. he's just not smiling from ear to ear as he does it, but he is not a "moody" or "grumpy" baby. YOU'RE just not special enough for him to smile for! :P

whew! feels good to vent to others who understand!
cheers y'all! =)

Paula - posted on 03/06/2010

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Well obviously we all seem to get the same questions! People never cease to amaze me. My big problem is our twin girls who are now 6 mo. are adopted. we have had them since birth but the crazy questions about their "conception" are even harder to handle. I have to keep a sense of humor or go mad. My favorite was after being stopped at least 5 or 6 times since walking into Target, someone asked me if I knew I was having twins. My reponse.." I didn't even know I was pregnant!" Stopped her in her tracks lol

Jodie - posted on 03/06/2010

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i know your pain! i have 10mth old non identical girls. whenever i actually get the time or energy to go out, you get people come up asking you questions when all you want to do is get away from the responsibilities of housework and shop. most of the time you dont enjoy yourself as you walk quick and avoid eye contact incase to get stopped. people just dont realise that our time is precious too

Fleur - posted on 03/05/2010

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totally understand my boys are now 13 and have heard it all hated it when people touched them ,one of my boys is Autistic so have had to deal with a lot from people but learnt to ignore them , but have been know-en in the middle of a meltdown to tell then to get lost maybe not so nicely LOL ps it get`s better

Nicole - posted on 03/05/2010

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I think that twin mums are the only ones that can truly understand the frustration you get when all you want to do is go out for a day with your babies and just be able to walk through the shops or park without being stopped by every second person to have a comment or a touch of your children. They are not pets or zoo animals. I beoieve that if people have the audasitiy to ask personal questions, stupid questions or just get in your face then being rude back if necessary isn't bad.

I have as I'm sure we all have, been chased down, people jump in front of the pram even when clearly I am walking fast to either avoid them or get in and out of where I am, people hold the handles of the pram/trolley so that I can't walk away before they have had their say/look. Even when my husband and I are walking through clearly in deep conversation someone will rudely interrupt just to ask questions. It is ridiculous. Granted I can understand why they are such a fuss and draw attention as twins even though more common these days are a sight to see as even when I walk through shops and see another set of twins I can't help but stare but I would never go up to the parent and ask personal questions or touch their children. There is a boundry people.

I have vented like this to family previously and they can't understand why I get so worked up as they think it is wonderful that people compliment so highly on my babies which gets me worked up even more. It's like you don't exist any longer and your feelings are obsolite.

I guess all we can do as twin mums is ignore the stares/comments, avoid eye contact and just move as quickly as possible when out and about, but that is not fair on us that we can't enjoy our out and about time or we can just smile and bare it. :)

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I used to feel the same way when my boys (now 2) were smaller. I found that I got a LOT fewer questions once they were no longer in their infant carriers. Two infant carriers is a dead give away that you have twins and, like it or not, people are fascinated with them. The best lesson I learned is to: 1) pretend you didn't hear comments made, or 2) just say, yes, they are twins and then start walking away. Do not engage people. You don't have an obligation to talk to everyone in the store who is interested in your twins. It will get better when they get older, though, unless you dress then in identical jackets and outfits, at which point you deserve to be stopped because you are asking for it.

Glenda - posted on 03/05/2010

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Ha ha - it is very funny reading right now, but when my girls were little, (I have 3 sets of twin daughters) it was hardly amusing. I used to plan my shopping around when my husband was home so he could keep an eye out while I dashed in and out of the shops like a crazy woman!!!!

The best comment was: "Like two peas in a pod. Are they twins....." I was dumbstruck!

Carrie - posted on 03/04/2010

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Kim that is awesome...I was too exhausted to think of funny things to say...and really I enjoyed having adults to talk to.

Kim - posted on 03/04/2010

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Shalu, I feel your pain. We've taken the approach of humor to answer the nosy or just plain dumb questions that people feel compelled to ask us. My personal favorite is one my husband came up with: Question: Are they twins, answer: Yes, Question: They don't look alike, answer: They have different dads! The look you get is priceless. We just giggle and stroll away. Most days I like the attention but some questions are amazing that people feel they can ask and don't even know you. Try the humor.....at least you get a laugh out of it.

Nina - posted on 03/04/2010

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I have been there and done that, when my girl's where new born I couldn't walk though the store with out getting stopped it got to the point where i have my sister take them just so we can just go in to the and get our stuff done, if you have some that you have watch them while you go to the store until they get a little older it may help you, my girl's are now 17 month's and almost no one stop's us all we get is " oh, twin's". it well get better! good luck!

Raquel - posted on 03/04/2010

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First, breathe. Take a deep breath in and out. This is a late post, but feel free to embrace it when you need to. I went through the same venting with my twin girls. Oh, the questions, and some although not smart ones, on good days I would laugh at the questions people asked me because they were just stupid. It is ok to cry and let it out if you need to. You have to remember, not everyone can have and handle twins. So because you have twins, it let's me know that you have everything on the inside of you to handle your little ones. Every gift and talent that is needed you already have. You can do it. You can handle it. Don't let it overwhelm you, because this is what you were called to do.

Carrie - posted on 03/03/2010

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I always talk to twin moms when I see them. Especially new moms like you. I sort of feel like we are a sorority of women who feel the same way. It never bothered me because I was just so happy to have another adult to talk to and my favorite subject is my twins. I don't think people mean to be stupid or invasive I think they are transformed for a minute by the miracle of it no matter how it happens....and the miracle of a mom who can somewhat function those first few months. I think most people understand how difficult it is to have one but two.....well it is amazing. Give yourself a break moma....you get tierd and it isn't easy to go to the store with twins...good on you for having the courage to get out there! Melt downs are fine!!!!! You will survive! There were days I didn't think I would and I have no idea how I got thru it but I did and so will you.

Heather - posted on 03/03/2010

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I get the "I hope your done thing all of the time" we have two older boys and always wanted three kids... now we have four. The boys are two years apart, but people always ask if we have two sets of twins. Or we get the people that ask if they are twins and we say yes and they comment on how much taller the older boy is... I'm like no.

We have a family pass for the zoo and the twins always get more attention then the animals. We are trying to get them to look at the monkeys and everyone is turning around to look at them, it's very frustrating.

Andrea - posted on 03/03/2010

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It's difficult , my favourite question has always been are they twins? no course not this man I am standing with so happens to have a child that looks the same as the other one ! also, When my daughters were babies I found it hard to a) to get dressed in a morning, b) fed myself 3) get out without forgetting anything. With my identical girls we still get comments, do they feel each others pain, do they think alike , do you get confused, we even get people asking them questions and staring at them waiting for them to reply with the same thing, or finish each others sentence. It gets to me when people call them "the twins" and when you correct them they don't seem to care. I love my girls , they are a joy to have and I have enjoyed every stage, but I really feel sorry for them the way people treat them as circus freaks. But one thing is to enjoy them no matter, because they grow up so quickly. good luck x

Jessica - posted on 03/02/2010

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thumbs up pip! i do the same thing i found as long as u dont make eye contact people usually go the other way for the ones who dont after about the third "dumb question" like oh are they twins or do u have ur hands full.... i usually start being a smartbutt and they get the idea. most the time i can deal with it but the off days its just like leave me alone....actually have a shirt that says this is my off day dont bother me lol that works great

Nikki - posted on 03/02/2010

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my response to people who want to ask questions about my pregnancy, the twins, etc..i simply say "I don't mean to be rude but I do not feel comfortable discussing my pregnancy and my children with a stranger..we were all taught not to talk to strangers and I can not teach them that if i am ready to spill my life with you can i?"

Pip - posted on 03/02/2010

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The method I use is NO EYE CONTACT.... People assume I'm a b***h and don't bother.

Ruth Moody - posted on 03/02/2010

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I love hearing all of your comments. My b/g twins are 7 months old. The trips to Walmart are 3 times as long as they should be. It cracks me up when people stare and make comments when I am pushing the double stroller in front on me and pulling the cart behind me with my 5 year old daughter standing on the back of the cart holding on. And not only do they stare but they block my way and I have to stop both the stroller and the cart to let them pass by and then get things going again. The question about b/g twins being identical still makes me laugh. We live in central Ohio and I always tell my husband later on, "here's your sign." It is a Jeff Foxworthy joke. :) When people start ooing and ahhing over the twins and my oldest starts to hide behind me. I always say, Big sister Lydia loves her brother and sister SOOO much! Makes people stop looking at the babies and look at her for a change. I know when the babies get older people will not notice they are twins and it will get easier. My daughter has dark hair and brown eyes, my son has red hair (like his big sister) and blue eyes. Ok. enough ranting. Just love listening to everyone else's comments and knowing it is not just us! Thanks for making me smile today!

Katherine - posted on 03/02/2010

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I am over feeling like a circus freak! people try to stick their heads into the pram etc. Now I am at the point that when people stop to look i just keep walking! I am over the stupid question of "are the identical twins?" when i have a boy and a girl!!!!! Really! how can people be that dumb??!!??

I also hate the question of do they run in the family etc... my sister inlaw has twin girls (fraternal aswell) ummmm i am the one who over ovulated u retard and i am not blood related to her!!!!!!!!! ERGH!!! yay a vent conversation!

Zoe - posted on 03/02/2010

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i'm so glad its not just me. for the first 3 people i didn't mind. but when it took me 20 minutes to walk from one shop to another due to people stopping me i began to lose the will to live. my family think its cute when people stop me and enjoy the attention, it drives me mental. "which shelf did you get them off" "Were they natural" "Do you have them in the family" "Are they twins" what is that all about, no i just had 2 really close together, 3 minutes to be exact. its so good having these forums, you realise you are normal and just mean. lol.

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My twins are 7 now and it NEVER stops, we deal with all the questions, looks and yes we still deal with people coming up to them, now I just tell people to leave them alone, you have to be rude sometimes people just dont care. When the boys were about a year old my mother in law and I went shopping and after about 2 hours of the same drill I was over it, a woman stoped me got a hold of my buggie and started drilling me I looked at her and with out missing a beat i said " This one is mine and the other is hers (pointing to the in law ) we slept with the same man and got knocked up at the same time! By the way this is my mother-in-law" and just walked away.

Donna - posted on 03/01/2010

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My girls will be two in April and I still get the comments. Not quite as bad as when they were little. It's hard to hide the fact that they're twins when they're little. I have had all of the probing questions too. I just nicely tell them the answers. Like if someone said better you than me I would smile and tell them I'm glad it's me too. If they say they're double trouble I tell them doubly blessed. I also have come out and asked people not to touch them. I try to do it with a smile on my face but I definitely know about the off days. Most people say things without thinking first but if you can say it with a smile it makes people think about what they have said and hopefully will make them think twice before saying it to someone else.

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It makes getting through a store really hard, it takes twice the time just to get all the groceries I need. I understand as well, the excitement of seeing the twins, but 5 minutes for everyone who stops you adds up!!

Kara - posted on 03/01/2010

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I understand your frustrations all to much!! I finally just started telling people that would ask me if they were twins...NO!! That usually works!! I know it is bad....but sometimes I dont want to be messed with nor do my boys!!!

Kimberly - posted on 02/28/2010

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Crazy as it looks people see me with my boy/girl one is light and one is dark and I always get are they twins and yours? Some people just speak before they think.

Crystal - posted on 02/28/2010

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Yeah, forgot to tell that my twins also have an older brother and a younger sister. Now that the novelty of there being tins has worn off, most people don't even notice it now since they don't look alike, I get all the rude comments about how many children I have whenever I take them out. It isn't like its anyone's business, or like I'm asking them to approve or even to help with them. It would be so nice to go to Walmart and not be asked how I do it with so many, or told that they hope we are finished. Would be nice to take them out and not be noticed every once in a while :)

Christine - posted on 02/28/2010

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This is not a new dilemma. My identical twin daughters are 23 yrs old now. They were touched, the probing questions ie "did you have a c section, did you use fertility drugs," (no and no) were constants. Their older brother by 2 years always filled in the blanks and often put people in their place. My girls are also "mirror" twins. One is right handed the other left, the swirls in their hairline are on opposite sides, and when they got their teeth they would get the same tooth only on opposite sides and same when they lost them. Their brother would tell people "these are my sisters and I love them so please don't touch them so they get sick" It doesn't end as they grow as they still get asked "are you two twins" despite the obvious. I never dressed them identically using different colors and their names are no where near alike. (that was always another question and then surprise when they weren't rhyming or whatever) They will always be different from the norm, but they are so very special to me and they are so poised and well adjusted so don't worry. When they got old enough to notice the questions and curiosity they took it all in stride. We homeschooled them and our son so we didn't have to deal with anything there. They did dance (ballet) and on some occasions replaced one another in a production. Enjoy them, revel in there sameness, but point out their differences and show them how those differences are a good thing. Twins are just twice the blessing as triplets are 3 times, etc. I truly miss there "little days" as well as their brothers. They all grow too fast.

User - posted on 02/28/2010

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haha SO story of my life! I'm 24 I have a four year old, three year old, and 18 month old twins..the twins were birth control babies..total shock! Didn't think we were ever going to have anymore..or twins at that! So I get all the rude comments and looks. And seriously the best way I deal with it is just smiling and acting like it is so easy..even though we all know it's not. People feel insecure when they see how well you're doing with twins and more..that the feel ashamed they don't think they could do it. Whenever anyone says 'better you than me' I say ya it is..they are definately MY blessing. And I always tell them how much I love my life and how perfect it is. And I just smile all the time. People get rude when they think you're run down or can't handle it. So just keep your head high and know that your babies are special..not because they are twins..but because 1. they are yours and 2. they are healthy beautiful babies

Michele - posted on 02/27/2010

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Sorry to hear about your tough day. When my twins were little, I had a five year old that used to roll her eyes whenever someone made a comment aobut her brother and sister. She was a deterrant to many curious people!!! The good thing? They grow up! My b/g twins are 13 now, and people have a hard time believing they are twins! This is when I get the stupid responses, "they don't look like twins!"

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It was really funny when I was pregnant with my twins. People would look at me and say, "Oh, I can tell you're having a boy," and I'd smile, say "Yes, I am," and as I patted the other side, I added, "and his sister is right over here!" (and sometimes it was the other way around). But their expressions were so funny!

Shalu - posted on 02/26/2010

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Mary, I can just imagine what it would be like with triplets. It is smart of them to put up a sign becuse it does get tiring.

I too have gotten the you can stop now comment too although I have two girls. One even added especially with overpopulation now days. I was at Babies are US and after a couple (man and woman who was expecting) passed by me my girls and my husband he said pretty loud, I am sooooo glad we are only having one, I would hate to have twins.It just amazes me how inconsiderate people can be. It made me happy that for the most part before having twins I did not pry in peoples lives while in line or anything unless they start up the conversation.

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I knew a family with triplets who did put a sign on their stroller: Yes they are triplets. Two girls and one boy. It's none of your business if it was natural or not. Yes better me than you. Thank you for not touching.

We didn't have a sign with our twins, but there were times when I wanted to! People ask the *weirdest* things. I was told one day that my boy/girl twins weren't 'real' twins because they weren't identical. So, I guess that means that just being born to the same parents at the same time doesn't count. I also had people tell me, "Oh, how perfect. A boy and a girl. You can stop now." and that was funny because they already had an older brother and their younger sister showed up 14 months later.

I think the hardest part is just the time and patience aspect. You just don't *have* time for everybody under the sun to stop you to ask you the same innane questions that the last 24 people asked.

Now when I see parents with twins, I smile at them and say, "Wow, you're lucky," and keep on going.

My twins are now 14, and most people don't realize they're twins because they don't look alike.

Shalu - posted on 02/25/2010

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Chelle, how upseting that someone had the nerve to tell you that they hope you are not having more. I know how it is when you are tending to one who is being fussy and people choose that time to make conversation. I never knew how much attention twins received. I guess it must be more difficult when they are babies and we have enough to worry about aside from making small talk and dealing with rude comments.

Thanks for everyone who responded. I totally agree with the petting zoo comment. Something similar happened to me when a mother let her daughter pull the blanket off their stroller to take a look and touch. I just hate being put in these awkward positions. I will try and usr some of the comments provided so at least I can make the best of it.

Shalu - posted on 02/25/2010

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I am totally there with you about people allowing their kids to come and touch. I don't mean to be impolite but I worry that they may get them sick. Also my two girls are 3 months now and like you I dress them mostly in girlie colors and people still ask if they are boys. Its sad but sometimes I hesitate to put them in neutral colors to avoid further "confusion".

Michele - posted on 02/25/2010

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Do NOT feel bad!! I think all parents of twins have those days. It's ridiculous how people will trip over themsleves to come and ask stupid invasive questions about my girls. I had them in pink from head to toe the other days and someone asked if they were boys. I have to admit I rather snappily replied, "Can you NOT see they are in all pink?" They are 9 months now and it's getting worse instead of better. And can anyone tell me WHYYYY people think they can bring their small children over to gawk at my kids????

Kianne - posted on 02/25/2010

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Do not worry it's happens to everyone im sure i think more so for me not been rude but my son was born with 1 good hand and the other one has no fingers so everyone looks and everyone comments, wants to touch asks me if he's ok. and thats just with him i have twins my daughter is fine nothing different with her.

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