Separation anxiety in twins

Theresa - posted on 10/30/2009

Mine never had separation anxiety nor were they afraid of strangers. I really believe it is because they had a secure relationship with me. Quit worring about things that arent apart of your life and enjoy those babies.

Gerty - posted on 10/29/2009

When my twins were about 3 years old we separated them to their own bedroom because they were having too much fun in the evening when they should go to sleep. It was scary for 1 night but after that if went very well. The school decided to separate them after their first year together in the same class. My husband and I supported this idea so they were able to develop their own self. One of the twins had some difficulties during the first two weeks of the new school year but after that he became much more independent.

Helane - posted on 10/27/2009

my twin boys are 3 n ahalf now and i found when they were babies there was a little bit of seperation anxiety but i think that they are just used to having the other twin always there now they are fine to be apart but i havent tried it overnight and i think i wouldnt if i didnt have to they have a bond and i would never take that away from them ,twins are so special ,thats what i call unconditional brotherly love !

Alda - posted on 10/27/2009

Thank you all. My girls have now answered my question lol. Yes, they DO have separation anxiety. At present I'm not allowed to leave the room or put them down. They both scream blue murder if they can't see me. Even when daddy is with them - they only want mommy. I'm exhausted and can just hope this phase doesn't last too long.

Marissa - posted on 09/14/2009

My twins were born at 3 weeks and they are now 3 1/2 and they didnt have either! Now that they are older they still dont really have anziety but they are always aware of each other and what the other one is doing and they definently ask about each other when they are apart

Anastacia - posted on 09/14/2009

Also, yes, it is because they have each other. The sense that someone is close will always be there. Someone has been for them, over a year. Also, they feed off of one anothers emotions. If in situations they are unsure of, they kind of look to the other as an example.

Anastacia - posted on 09/14/2009

Well...My girls are 4 and they just started preschool. They were put in seperate classes. This is the 1st time in their whole lives they've been seperated from each other and they didn't adjust well at first. It's been a month and they now wouldn't have it any other way. They are seperate people now and they love it. They have their own friends and are referred to as individuals, not "the twins or the girls". However, their teachers allow them to see each other once a day and give each other a hug. 1 minute out of the day just to know it's okay and they're good. I've also noticed them at home now not only being closer, if that was even possible, but sort of finding themselves. They'll always be best friends though!

Shannon - posted on 09/13/2009

My twin girls didn't have it either. I work in a daycare and have worked with all ages from infants to school age children. some children experience it and some don't. I have four children my oldest and my twins never had anxiety, but my second child did and it was crazy. He's six now and still sometimes does it. If your children don't have seperation anxiety that's great, but not strange, some do and some don't. I have seen 5 and 6 year old children do it and I have seen infants, toddlers and twos do it. It just depends on the child.

Melissa - posted on 09/12/2009

My twins never went through this....they are now 2 yr 4 months old. Everyone said they would have separation anxiety but were amazed how well they have been. Keep doing what you are doing, must be right!! :)

Carine - posted on 09/12/2009

Hi Alda,
for twins the most important person in his/her life is the twin brother/sister and not the mother (or the father or another caretaker). I'm not sure that this is the reason for the missing separation anxiety but is seems logical.
Greetings, Carine (Belgium)

April - posted on 09/11/2009

My boys did get a little stressed out when seperated from each other. This was most noticable in the car. If I took one of the boys with me and left the other with my husband, my son would repeatedly ask where his brother was. I did not notice any anxiety when leaving Mom or Dad. They found their independence around 6. They are a happy, healthy ten years old now. Time flies.

Raissa - posted on 09/11/2009

My twin boys are 6 now. When they were younger and started having sleepovers at grandparents, one was more eager to go than the other. He had no problems leaving his brother. His brother on the other hand would cry all night for me to go and pick his brother up because he wanted him home with us.



When they started PreK they were in the same class and it was a nightmare because they would bother each other the whole day wanting to share every detail of what they were doing. At the advice of the principal I had them seperated in Kindergarten and things were much better. Neither of the twins had a problem with adjusting to the change and were satisfied with catching up at recess. I think I will continue to keep them seperate throughout the school years.

Bridjette - posted on 09/10/2009

I have 10 year old identical twin boys, and we never experienced any kind of seperation anxiety. I do think it's because they have eachother. My boys would tell me bye mommy I love you as early as 12 mos. when I would leave. Good luck with your little ones!

Julie - posted on 09/10/2009

i have twin girls and i have separted them when they were like 5 months like for a day or two my mom helps me out so i can get some stuff done and i had no problem they slept even better and longer cause they didnt wake each other up but now they are 8months and we stop separting cause they are startin to know the other half is not there n they play together alot so now they now before was a piece of cake so if u do and they r quiet they know the other half isnt there ifelt bad separting them but at the same time i had so much stuff to do i was so behind and if i didnt i dont know how i could have manged plus its my mom or my aunt helps me so i feel very safe babysitter wise i would be scared so goodluck

Cally - posted on 09/09/2009

My girls are 17 months and they do not like to be away from me. It is bloody murder when i leave them with anyone else. But they always want me even when I am right there. I think they feel jealous of the other if i am paying attention to the other one, so they are constantly trying to be with me. (on lap or being held) If i ignore their request long enough, they do actually go play together. They do not mind being away from each other (like i have one and dad has one or grandma) but when they are reunited, O boy they are so happy to see each other.

Alda - posted on 09/08/2009

Oh right lol, I meant separation anxiety when they can't see mommy or daddy, like single babies do. You know, when they scream blue murder when you go to the loo and they suddenly can't see you any more and it takes half an hour to calm them down again. I wouldn't separate my girls either and it's still extremely hard to let anyone babysit.

Karen - posted on 09/08/2009

Hi there! I am also a mom of twin boys. Yes, there is separation anxiety with twin babies. Because they are not use to be separated & have each other very often. I've encountered that problem also, when I brought my other baby to my parents and the other is with us. They're always crying & can't sleep and it only shows that they're missing each other. Maybe when they get older, they won't feel like losing each other when they are separated. God bless! :)

Alicia - posted on 09/08/2009

Nope no separations issues here, Well then again I never separate them lol...Maybe I'm the one that has it for them wow I think I just had an light bulb moment. I dont ever want them separated my mom will offfer to take one off my hands so that its easier on both of us like just for a day or to the store or one time she offered to take one to church with her and i would take the other (we attend different churches) I am like "NO WAY" they came into this world together and they must stay together. LOL sorry I was no help :)

Becky - posted on 09/08/2009

My boys are older but they had not been separated until preschool. I was worried about this because they were always together, but they both did fine. I have heard horror stories about twins not wanting to be apart but I don't think that always happens.

Anna - posted on 09/08/2009

Maye it just means they feel really safe and secure. Good work :)