Separation Anxiety & Jealousy Issues

Carly - posted on 03/06/2010

MY GIRLS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN PRETTY GOOD ABOUT IT I THINK. i JUST TELL THEM IF THEY FIGHT OVER ME THEN NO ONE GETS TO GET IN MOMMIES LAP THEY HAVE TO TAKE TURNS OR NO ONE GETS ONE. SO THEY DON'T FIGHT ABOUT IT MUCH BUT. YES THE BED THING IF THEY ARE LAYING WITH YOU MAN IT IS WHO CAN LAY ON MOMMY THE MOST, WHO HAS MORE OF MOMMY. I JUST TRY TO CATCH THEM ON THERE OWN AND LOVE ON THEM.

Diane - posted on 03/06/2010

Boy can I relate to that, lol! I have twin girls, now adults. Jealous issues big time! I even tried to set up separate time with each which is near impossible as a single parent. If at all possible have your sugnifiacant other or another family member they know take one to do something one on one with while you have one on one time with the other. Once they get used to the routine, they will see that its okay for "Billy" to have time with Mommy if "Bobby" is having time with (daddy or other family member). Helping them get through this now will help them when they got to school and are in different classes or one is home sick. Dealing with this right now is the best answer, as it will get worse as they get older if you don't. Don't dress them the same so they see they are individual and not a set. Its okay to dress them the same for special occassions if you want. But the idea is for them to see they are individual and not a set and okay to be different or apart. Consistency and patients are the key and yes they do wear thin at times, lol! Make sure they have things that are their own personal items. It helps them identify themselves as an individual. Best of luck to you!

Rachel - posted on 03/04/2010

Thanks for the advice. They are experiencing separation anxiety from me and my husband. We've been "taking turns" with the boys for a while now, but now that they're mobile, they're a little more aggressive with trying to get to me (i.e., pulling on each other to get to me). I'm just hoping that this phase doesn't last too long because we were just getting used to them sleeping through the night before teething and now the separation anxiety kicked in!

Carrie - posted on 03/03/2010

Welcome to being a mom of twins....it is full of those moments and they really don't seem to go away.We do family cobedding and I have them on either side of me so they both get me. Mine are 3 yrs. Mine didn't figure out that they had their own stuff till recently tho. My question is it separation anxiety from you or eachother. And good news is that it means they are totally normal! I tell them that I am both of their mommy and I love them both. I say, my lap is big enough for both of you!!! I think you just have to tell them you love them both, try to be fair and always reminding them that they are both special. I have had a few moments where it go so bad that I had to separate them in time out til they calmed down. We also started using "my turn, your turn." Sometimes a timer works well but yours are still too young for that. It's a hard place to be mom....just know that it is normal times 2.