Starting School

Donna - posted on 09/03/2010 ( 32 moms have responded )

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My 5 year old twin daughters just started kindergarten this year, and yes our school has put them in seperate classes. They seemed to have no problem with the seperation, honestly I think it makes them feel almost special not having to share a teacher with each other. It also gives them a chance to be new just like every other kid in their grade. Am I crazy for agreeing with the school, are there any other parents that actually do feel that separating their twins is a good thing?

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Donna - posted on 09/16/2010

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so far so good. They like school. I've come to a reallization that if my daughters were in the same class I think they would sit there and give each other the answers all day lol. They are both pretty bossy and quite competitive so yeah seperate classes was definately the way to go. I'm shocked at the amount of schools that actually let the parents decide. I thought for the most part with the exception of the smaller schools, that most schools just automatically separated twins.

Chanel - posted on 09/16/2010

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I have 7 year twin girls who just enter into 2nd grade at a fundamental school, where there is homework every single night, weekends included. My husband and I did have them in separate classes in K, 1st and starting 2nd but when the homework came home different and it made homework time so much more difficult we decided to put them in the same class. After were more in the swing of things I think we'll separate them again. I would have to agree it's healthly for them too. I loved seeing and hearing my girls at the end of the day share what they did and class and ooo and ahh over what happened in their class when they were separeted from eachother. THAT WAS AWESOME!!!! But in the end it's what you feel is best for your little ones. Good luck! twin moms it's difficult either way their our special people and we just want the bes tfor them always! : )

Tammy - posted on 09/15/2010

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My b/g twins also started kindergarten this year.At our school, they only give the parent's a choice the first year, then they separate them from there on out. Kindergarten was a big adjustment for my oldest & I wanted it to be as easy as possible for them. I know how much the kids look forward to opportunities for their mom to be at school. Parent Day, classroom parties..etc. I wanted to be able to enjoy those days with both of them...not choosing one over the other or trying to split my time and go to 2 classrooms. They are doing great with the new routine & leaving home every morning (in fact, much better than my oldest daughter) and they both love school. Since my twins are boy and girl & have seen them at preschool & sunday school go off and play with other children. My son tends to play mostly with the boys and my daughter with the girls, so I knew they would make their own friends without clinging to each other (like the school is so sure of.) For some twins, this may be an issue, probably more so with b/b or g/g twins... but I don't like when someone else thinks they know what's best for your kids. It should be the parent's choice..in my opinion.
Good luck to all the parents out there & God Bless :)

Kirsty - posted on 09/15/2010

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I seriously would want my twins seperated when they go to school, I think socially they would benefit, and feel more individual just like you said ..I totally agree with you x

Candi - posted on 09/14/2010

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Oh yeah. I'm completely in your camp, although I feel bad about it in some ways. One of my boys has cerebral palsy, and he NEEDS his brother with him to feel comfortable in a new environment. But when he's around, his twin gets completely ignored. Everyone gives all of their attention to the brother with special needs. I kind of like the idea of separate classrooms because it means both boys get to be their own human beings. *Sigh* stupid tough decisions, though. I know that they love each other dearly and want to be together. That's another factor in the back of my mind as I think about making choices for schooling. Whatever is decided, though, both twins will survive and thrive!

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I think every case is different, if they like it, I think that is fine. My boys are now in grade 8. Some years they were together, some they weren't. They do fine either way! They have liked having their independence, but it is also very convenient when they have same homework, class trips, tests, etc. Then we have one schedule to look at instead of two. One of my sons also has high-functioning autism. We didn't find out until the end of grade 4. It is a help when he doesn't understand something and the other can help. As long as the girls are happy, I would be happy!!

Bonnie Spruin

Daisy - posted on 09/14/2010

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It definitely is a good idea separating them because it kind of gives them their own identity. When my twins started school the school gave me the option to keep them together or separate them, and I chose to separate them. They did great because it was the only place that they were treated as real individuals. True one took it harder than the other but when Michael would cry because he wanted to see Dennis, his teacher would take him to the next room over where Dennis was and after he saw Dennis he was fine. It really is important for them to have a place to be themselves because everywhere else they are usually referred to not by their names but as "THE TWINS". I pray this gives you a little peace about separating them. My Boys will be 23 in a couple of weeks and I have never regretted my decision.

Robin - posted on 09/14/2010

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This can be such a difficult decision to make! I know I had a really hard time with it. I read a lot of comments and stories about both sides. In the end, I chose to let them stay in the same class for kindergarten this year. Although one twin initially wanted to be separate from his brother, as it got closer to school, they were both content knowing they were in the same class. I think our school gives the parents an active role in making the decision, which I feel very fortunate about. My boys are not identical, and they are very different in personality. So far so good.....

Carmen - posted on 09/14/2010

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my two girls star school nos and go to the same class room that be good now for first time ,when they come from school come to tell me what happend in school every day and both star to talking about what happend in school and star to laugh,they look so cute.but the next year am try separated in diferent class room.to try they dont depend one to the other i want they have her own mind and decision.but for the first year in schooli found is great to be together.

Hilary - posted on 09/14/2010

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My girls are in a school with only one class for their age group, I am fine with this, because they are happy to leave each other and play with the rest of the class just like singletons do. I really believe each set of twins (or more) will be different, some will benefit from being separated, others will be traumatised and suffer long term effects. This is another case where "Mum knows best" and negotiating with the school has to be the best way forward. If the school is fixed on one particular route without knowing the children first, I would question the leadership of the school. Having said all that, if a set of twins is kept together and they are seen to be isolating themselves then that would need to be gently addressed. Its a difficult decision to make but depends so much on the personalities of the children involved.

[deleted account]

I think it all depends on the kids. My kids were separated in kindergarten. The school had a policy of automatically separating twins (it is a charter school so normal state laws on multiple separation don't apply). Kids were grouped by ability so therefore, they were in the top 2 K classes. However, I feel like the one in the second highest class did not get the same education as the one in the top class. The reality is they both should have been in the top class but since they automatically separated them, one had to go down a level. He was the only one in his class doing the highest level of work. This year we decided to switch them to a private school and one of the many reasons was that they wanted to be in the same class again.

There were some benefits of the separation. One of mine is a lot more shy than the other and he really came out of his shell and blossomed into one of the best students in the school without his brother, the scene stealer, around.

We've done together and we've done separate. I feel like my kids flourish more when they are together. I do not feel like there is a cut and dry answer. Each set of multiples is different and a lot will depend on the personalities of your twins. Mine are very fraternal so they are less likely to be compared to begin with. Some twins will flourish together, some will flourish apart. It all depends on the kids and I don't think there is the same answer for every family.

Jennifer - posted on 09/13/2010

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Hi At first I was so dead set on them staying together and even requested it. But Now that I thought about it longer it is best. They can become their own person and have their own friends. And do diferent things seperatly. I now agree with it. There is twin girls in my daughters class that were not seperated and I think that is a shame. They do need their time apart.

Cathy - posted on 09/12/2010

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One thing I did with my girls in pre-school. First year of pre-school they went 2 times a weel and second year 3 days a week - 2 days together and one day separate. I was great to be able to get some one on one time with each child.

Brandy - posted on 09/12/2010

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My twins are not old enough to go to school, but my sister's twin daughters started Grade 1 and are in separate classes, they are doing better than they did in Kindergarten. There is less fighting and competition and more growth and fun this year, it's only been a week but my sister says she can see the difference already! If it works for your girls, go ahead, they need their own identities as well as their common ground!

Bridgette - posted on 09/11/2010

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My 7 year old twin girls have been in separate classes since they were 3. The do wonderful and it helps them be more independent from each other. I have noticed more competition between the two, but I feel that is health. I think it is the most wonderful thing you can do for your twins to help them grow. They will always have their "twin" bond and my identical twin girls show that everyday. They love sharing what each of their classes did that day and they even teach each other what they learned. It's really cool! Good luck! I think this is the best for your girls.

Abbie - posted on 09/11/2010

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I agree with the majority of moms on here...separating your kids or keeping them together really depends on the kids. My four year-old boys just started preschool last week and they are in the same class. This is their first experience away from Daddy and Mommy and I am happy that they are in the same class. The other reason they are in the same class is because there aren't separate classes for them to be in. In all honesty, my first choice would have been to have them in different classes, but so far, this seems to have worked out well.

My "long-term plan" is for them to be in the same class this year and next year to separate them. They seem to be more relaxed and less nervous being together and since this is their first school experience, I am happy they're together. I also feel that as twins, it's so easy to compare them, that as they get older, I would like them to be in separate classes. Of course, I may have plans, but it may not work out that way...we all know how that goes!

Keep us posted as to what happens with your girls and how they are doing!

Brandy - posted on 09/10/2010

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My first grader triplets have opted to be seperate, they prefer it that way. it is harder on us parents this way though. by the end of kindergarten, they had all grown so much individually, that i dont think i will ever put them in the same class. if they are having a rough day or one gets hurt, their teachers allow them to visit each other for as long as the need. It is working very well for us.

Amy - posted on 09/10/2010

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I had my twin girls in the same class room up to 7th grade, then with the same group of teachers but at different times of they day. So much easier for me to have them taught by the same teacher, and they had the same homework and same projects due at the same time. Made life easier for me and my girls! But I've heard positive things from both points of view!

Cathy - posted on 09/10/2010

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My girls are now 13 and in the 8th grade. We live in a small community and the school let us make the decision. So in kindergarden they were in the same class as well as 1st and 2nd grade. 1st and 2nd grade looped so the class stayed together and had the same teacher. 3rd grade on they were separated - due drop in students the girls school closed and they moved to another school with more kids and classes. It has worked for us. I feel you know your kids and you need to be able to work with the school. My big issue was when we separated the girls - I needed to let the teachers know when they sent home notices that were class specific to make sure they put the kid or teacher's name on the notice because all of the papers would get emptied from the backpacks and I would not know which notice went to which kid. Good luck!!

Holly - posted on 09/09/2010

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You are not alone. Our school lets the parents decide. I saw pros and cons to both and decide to let my boys decide. They both without hesitation said separate rooms. It has been the best thing for them. They have a chance to be individuals instead of the twins.

Cynthia - posted on 09/09/2010

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I have 5 year old twin boys and they also just started kindergarten and in seperate classes. I do feel that seperating the twins is a good thing because it gives them a sence of independance away from each other. Also they miss each other and at the end of the day they are happy to see each other.

Karen - posted on 09/09/2010

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I think every situation is different. You know your twins better than any school. For us the right decision was to keep our identical boys together this year, but we're going to work on separating them more and more throughout the year so that they won't be so dependent on each other. This will be a huge challenge as they're extremely close to one another. Good luck and have a great school year!

Kristin - posted on 09/09/2010

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We chose to separate our b/g twins for Kinder this year and it has been the best decision ever. They are just thriving and loving every minute. They did three years in Mother's Day Out together, so they were ready for a break from each other. :)

Lisa - posted on 09/09/2010

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I couldn't agree more with you and the school. My twins will go to kindergarten next fall and I think it is a wonderful idea to separte them. I know as much as they love each other that time apart is healthy for them, they need to learn to stand on their own two feet, the longer you wait the harder it will be in my opinion. Good luck!

Kylie - posted on 09/08/2010

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I have been debating this topic in my mind all year as my twin girls will start kindergarten next yr & I want to be as prepared & as informed as possible. I guess in the end, no-one can tell you what right or wrong, the only solution is what feels right for you & your kids, you know your kids best, yet as mums, we do tend to want to protect them from any cause of insecurity. As most, my girls have uniquely different personalities & in preschool have even made a few separate friends. Luckily, the school they will be attending tries their best to cater for individual needs & will not force anyone to separate multiples, they will however take note if the "too much together time" is hindering their indiviual progress in studies or socially. So i have decided to start my girls in kindy together, then come the following yr will give them the option to decide for themselves if they want to go into separate classes. For me the hardest part will be letting go & seeing the last of my babies grow up and move into "big" school, the yrs sure have flown by!

Tammy - posted on 09/08/2010

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I was reluctant to separate our twins at first, but you need to do what you feel is right for your children. My identical boys have just started Pre- K and we have them in separate classrooms for a number of reasons. They love it =). I think it will help them to grow and become more confident individuals. Good luck!

Bobbie - posted on 09/06/2010

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I agree with Rebecca 100%! I belive for some it may be great but not for others and it should come down to the parents choise. I told our school this year if they seperated mine they would be pulled out and enrolled at our private Catholic school here in town were they would have to be in the same class because they have only one room per grade.

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Read my comment on the other post of this topic. ;)

IMO, seperating twins in school is usually in their best interest.

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I don't think for my sons it would be the right decision. If a school wouldn't allow them to be in the same classroom, they won't be going there. It's that simple for us. There are plenty of schools to choose from. If you think separating them works great for your twins, then they should be separated. I think at the end of the day it should be the parent's decision, not the schools.

Monica - posted on 09/04/2010

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My twins have be seperated since preschool, they are now in 3rd grade and it was a great decision for us. They have developed their own personalities and like that their classmates don't get them confused, since they are identical. They are still the best of friends and have a lot to say to one another at the end of the day.

Amy - posted on 09/03/2010

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We are in a scholl where they will seperate our girls, butI am ok w/ that. They may have a hard time w/it cause now they are inseperatable. They are w/ each other all the time. So many w/in the next 3 yrs, they will be ready to make friends on their own

Iridescent - posted on 09/03/2010

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Our 3 are all in the same class, but there is only one class for our school. I think it would be really good for them to be in separate classes, as each has strengths and weaknesses that would be much better addressed if they were apart.

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