Stupid things people say to parents of twins

Cat - posted on 10/14/2008 ( 560 moms have responded )

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Our twins are 13 months old and my husband and i are constantly amazed at the things people ask us about twins. My favourite so far has been "Are they twins, does that mean they were born on the same day?" I'm sure heaps of mums have funny stories, so lets hear them.

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Leah - posted on 10/25/2008

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Amen to the comment on John and Kate plus 8 comment below - I am constantly getting asked if I watch this show. I have 4 kids under the age of 6 my youngest two are twins. I am constantly told oh you must have your hands full and I just comment back " I am blessed that my hands are full rather then empty"

[deleted account]

I remember when my boys were infant carrier size and just kept thinking we were some big moving circus. People would randomly come up and ask oh are they twins? You must have your hands full. I just felt like telling them look all I want to do is go grocery shopping not be stared at and have to entertain you. I also hate the comment "mine were practically like twins" it is not the same, no matter how close together they are!! Try feeding, diapering, entertaining two infants at the same time! Or people assume you are done having babies just because you got twins.

Erica - posted on 11/01/2008

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Actually, she is right to a degree. It is possible to have boy/girl monozygotic twins. Meaning it splits from the same egg but not "identical". Its weird but it was on the National Geographic special "In the Womb: Multiples". They dont refer to any twins as being "identical"....they would only say "monozygotic" because even tho it splits from the same egg, one twin can get more of on trait than the other.

[deleted account]

I dont have twins, but I do take care of a pair of twins...
I just wanted to say that I attend to University and in one of my child development classes, the prof said that although rare, You can have a boy/girl identical twins.
So, even though most people would be asking this question not thinking at all, it is possible!.
So maybe afterall it is not a stupid question!

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Melissa - posted on 10/27/2010

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U knw What Really grinds my gear! Is when People come up to me and see me with my 20 month old boy and my 10months twins and say "Do u have triplets?'' UH- no Can't they see that i have a toddler thats bigger then the twins, Which they happen to be in the car seat n look smaller then my oldest son. Hello People.; Look, before u say something. N another that be grinding my gears. Is when they be like Bless You child , U have ur hands full. How do u do it? It must be hard having them. lol

Dalia - posted on 10/26/2010

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nice topic
the most stupid thing happened to me one tourist want to capture a photo for my twins what she thought they are towers!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jenny - posted on 10/26/2010

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This is not funny, but when i was pregnant with my twins quite a few people told me they were either pregnant with twins or had twins and one of them died, i was horrified

Frances - posted on 10/26/2010

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During the thousands of times we all seem to get stopped, the one I still like is a lady standing in front of the pram so I had to stop, and saying that it must be very annoying when people stop me to look at the twins when I probably just want to grab the things I need and leave!!

Sarah - posted on 09/06/2009

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My favorite comment I have ever been asked was "are they twins?" and when I answered yes she in turn responded "are they the same age?" How crazy is that.

Inez - posted on 09/05/2009

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I used to get are they identical 80% of the time! We also ALWAYS get..."You have your hands full" most annoying when they are both having tantrums

Laura - posted on 09/05/2009

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i have identical twin girl's who are now 13 we get asked alot if they are identical and how we coped ,how do we tell them apart we have also been told 1 look's like me the other look's like her dad LOL ! they are identical they also get asked if they can feel each other's pain and do you know what each other's thinking .

Laura - posted on 09/05/2009

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i have identical twin girl's who are now 13 we get asked alot if they are identical and how we coped ,how do we tell them apart we have also been told 1 look's like me the other look's like her dad LOL ! they are identical they also get asked if they can feel each other's pain and do you know what each other's thinking .

Irene - posted on 09/05/2009

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Once when someone asked if we had twins, my husband told them, "no we have triplets, but left the other one at home and just wanted to take out these two...."

Cassie - posted on 08/19/2009

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Wow, I love this topic!



I have 21 month old twin boys, Kade and Konnor and a almost 4 year old Kimberly. It's always "are they twins", "are they identical", "which one is the bad one", "you have your hands full"...so on. You know how it goes. It really bothers me when people make comments about having your hands full or wow you must be exhausted. They act like having twins is the biggest deal and the fact that I have 3 so close in age is what gets the best comments. "Oh wow, You were brave" ugh. But you can't insult stupid people so half the time I just walk away.

Jade - posted on 08/18/2009

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Omg i have not even had the twins yet but a woman asked the other day what i was having i said 2 girls. she then said did you choose to have twins did say no but felt like saying (erm yeah i just ticked a box at my booking appointment saying yes i would like twins lol.)

Deb - posted on 08/18/2009

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Hi There, My Twins Leigh and Shaniah are now 7 Years old, I use to get the same question are they identical!! No they are a Girl & Boy i would reply!!! xx Deb

Johanna - posted on 08/17/2009

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I am the parent of identical 1 year old twin boys and I really get tired of people stopping me when I'm doing errands to ask me if they are twins. That and it really upsets me when they stop and say how cute the twins are but ignore my 5 year old son. Why can they not see that it effects him and makes him feel invisable.

[deleted account]

Quoting Cherise:

I have 19 month old twins and I am 33 weeks pregnant with our third. I feel like the level of rudeness has really increased since I started showing. I've actually gotten dirty looks and people shaking their heads at me. Everyone says, "you must be crazy" as soon as they see me. My favorite daily comment that I get is "better you than me", and to that I respond, "You're probably right" :-)


   Just tell them you're trying for your own little league team. :)



 



I've gotten just about every question mentioned so far.  I've had people ask how they were born, if they were IVF, if they're b/g (both boys), if they're identical (yes), if I watch Jon & Kate (heck no), and ask if we're having more (none of their business).  I've even had people try and argue with me if they're identical.  My boys were born at 35 weeks because one had stopped growing due to TTTS.  There was about a two pound difference in them and even at 5 months one is still a little bit bigger than his brother.  They think that the weight difference means they are different so they can't possibly be identical.



Just yesterday I went out and someone asked how old the boys were, I said they were five months.  She then asked "oh, are they twins?".  I told her yes and then she asked "one boy one girl?".  I had them wearing blue, one with planes on their outfit the other with cars.  I didn't think they looked *that* girly!

Tiffany - posted on 08/14/2009

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Twins attract so much attention and I am a little ashamed to say that I have started to ignore people in stores who say "oh my twins?" or "they are so cute" you know if you stop for every on looker you would never get any shopping done and you would be in the store for weeks!

I hate it when people tell me I have my hands full, I tell them it is actually easier having two at a time. And they are surprised, but I think it really is!

Another one is "who side of the family has twins?" Then I feel like I have to give a history lesson on the birth of twins and explain to them that identical twins aren't genetic and neither of us have twins in our family, half the time they don't get it and ask again "so whos side is it from" ERGG.

Dyani - posted on 08/13/2009

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I've heard lots of great stories, but one of my favorites is oh you have twins, my kids are 11 months apart and its just like having twins. I usually stare at them in utter amazement and say no its not quite the same, not to mention you did'nt have to carry two babies at one time full term-38 weeks. LOL!

Jessamy - posted on 08/13/2009

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lol us poor ladies!!! the thing that kind of makes me feel REALLY bad now is that i used to BE one of those "oh, are they twins??" people..... my bad hahaha i try and be understanding, cos they dont know i have answered the same questions 20 times this shopping trip... i do get annoyed if ppl touch them, as if my babies are free for all? would you go stroke a strange adults face? i also get irritated when people bar my way so i have no choice but to talk to them, i try and smile and nod and say thanks and continue walking but when someone actually stands in front of me to ask "oh are they twins?" ... man i wanted to ram the pram into this ladys legs today and go "oh sorry, didnt see you there!" i also had someone ask me if they could breathe (i have a moby wrap thing, like a sling that i can have my gilrs tucked into my chest) um.. no no they cant breathe, see i had my hands so full (cos of course i have my hands full) that i needed to sort that out...

Dori - posted on 08/12/2009

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By the time I had my second set of twins my patience for the 'stupid' questions and statements people make had been exhausted. When I was asked if my son and daughter were identical for the millionth time I explained that boy & girl twins can only be fraternal. When I was further questioned as to "why", I became a bit frustrated and responded because one has a penis and one has a vagina! That was a great moment!! LOL

Nikki - posted on 08/12/2009

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iv had some one ask me at th bus top r my b g twins identical i said no she was like o there very similer how is it there not identical i said well one they wer in seporat sacs and from to dif eggs 2nd there a boy and a girl and to b identical it helps if one hasent got a willy lol

User - posted on 08/12/2009

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Our set of twins will be one on Saturday and I find it funny how some people ask you "are they twins? How does that happen?" Ok do I really have to explain the birds and the bees? lol...I had a lady ask me that then she asked "So how did you have them on the same day?" Omg...wow...people are smart

User - posted on 08/12/2009

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Our set of twins will be one on Saturday and I find it funny how some people ask you "are they twins? How does that happen?" Ok do I really have to explain the birds and the bees? lol...I had a lady ask me that then she asked "So how did you have them on the same day?" Omg...wow...people are smart

Nikki - posted on 08/12/2009

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i find it ammazing wen ppl ask are my b g twins identicle well no one has a willy one dosent lol another is how mutch of an age dif is there between yor kids well unless there blind though my doughter is small u can see there about th same age so hmmmm did i fall pregnant while already pregnant? another good one iv experianced is ill phone some wer up explain i hav twins and they so o we will need there dob ok lets start with tom his is and ayas is? well there twins its th same dinnnnnnng one more is some ppl assume as i have twins they must be th same sex so though my little girl is in a dress iv had ppl say o look twin boys ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Claudia - posted on 08/11/2009

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Quoting Karrie:

I know what you mean. I have boy/girl twins and We get asked all the time if they are identical! I'm always like well....they are a boy and a girl. usually a few seconds goes by before it strikes them! My favorite time though was right after they were born I went to the OBGYN for my 1 week check up. The nurse asked me if they were identical. I stood in amazement. The dr. looked at her and said Amy, think back to that chapter on twins and she laughed embarassed!



Karrie,



I had the same thing happen to me in the Pediatrician's office. Unbelievable.

Claudia - posted on 08/11/2009

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There are always the people in stores or anywhere we go that start off with the usual. Oh twins, oh and they are boy/girl how great...and they end it with oh you are all done you have your pair. Really??? People actually feel the need to tell me that I'm done having kids. It's better not to say anything at all. Don't tell parents of twins when we are done having kids. The number of children my husband and I have is determined by something other than if we have a boy and a girl. GGGRRRR So frustrating!!!

Claudia - posted on 08/11/2009

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Quoting laura:

my identical twin girls r only 3 months old and i am soooooooooooooooo sick of being stopped by strangers, asking the same old ?'s, saying ohh double trouble and u got ur hands full... whenever i get the chance i put a blanket over the pram to hide them so i can just get my shopping done without being asked a million stupid ?'s



I get that all the time. My b/g twins are 2 1/2 yrs old. I always get the oh my how do you do it. You have double the trouble. BLAH BLAH BLAH!  My favorite is their reaction when I tell them they are perfect and don't give me any trouble. (little white lie). My fanvorite is the reaction when I tell them they were sleeping through the night at just 2 months old (true). LOL They don't have much to say after that. It is as if they want to hear you say how bad it is with twins. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Claudia - posted on 08/11/2009

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My all time most annoying question would have to be if my boy/girl twins are identical. One time I even had a nurse ask me when I took my kids in for a check up if my twins were identical. You would think a nurse might have a better clue. LOL

Toni - posted on 08/11/2009

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I've actually had another mom of twins ask me if mine were identical (I have b/g twins by the way). I've had numerous people ask if we used drugs to get twins and I'm nope, we just got very very lucky :) I too have had people say - aww twin girls... Um nope, a boy and a girl, I can't help it if he has pretty curly hair and the sweet cherub face like his sister :)

Ann - posted on 08/10/2009

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Quoting Angela:

My favorite is always, "I don't know how you do it with 2. You must have your hands full." I feel like saying, "well, I thought about putting one on the corner with a sign that said FREE, but decided against it!"

Or similarly, I am often asked if they're my first...and then when I answer yes, they say, oh good thing...I guess you don't know any better.



I get the same comments! We always joked about doing a survivor series. How could you know any better? Having my twins first was the best way to start off my family. I always used to say lord teach me patience, now I have learned to ask for peace.

Michele - posted on 08/10/2009

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I've got 11 wk old fraternal twin girls. I'm so tired of strangers stopping me and asking if my girls are twins. THe next nosy old lady that asks me that I'm going to tell say , "No the hospital was just having a buy one get one free special at the hospital that day!". And WHYYY do strangers feel it's their right to point and stare and my babies just because they are mulitples??? I've even had them come right up to the stroller and almost touch my infants? Grrrrrrr

Michele - posted on 08/10/2009

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I've got 11 wk old fraternal twin girls. I'm so tired of strangers stopping me and asking if my girls are twins. THe next nosy old lady that asks me that I'm going to tell say , "No the hospital was just having a buy one get one free special at the hospital that day!". And WHYYY do strangers feel it's their right to point and stare and my babies just because they are mulitples??? I've even had them come right up to the stroller and almost touch my infants? Grrrrrrr

Sumbul - posted on 08/09/2009

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Someone asked me "Are they natural?" Now pray tell me what are 'Artificial' twins?

Dawn - posted on 08/09/2009

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My daughter is a year older than my twin boys. As nature would have it, my daughter and one of the boys have a larger frame, and my other son is tiny, clothes are smaller, shoe size smaller, and very skinny. About 2 years ago when they were all about the same size the most common question I would get was "are they triplets?!" I would politely say "no, just twins and one a year older". then "Oh the the boy and girl MUST be the twins" "no ma'am the boys are twins" "Are they identical?" "no" then of course the "WOW you must have your hands full!!!" "yes, and I wouldn't have it any other way" the person would blink at me and I would go further on to say "I HOPED for twins when I was a kid, when I was 5 months pregnant and looked like I was 9 months I was HOPING for twins, I knew that I would busy, and I was ecstatic to have 3 so close together" at which point I would smile, wave and walk away

Luana - posted on 08/04/2009

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when my boys were about 6month we were out shopping and once again we kept being asked "are they twins" i got so sick of it that i tojld the two ladies "no , that one is ours and the other one, he had with is wife" Boy did they give me a look and walked away fast. The twins are 5 now and we still get aksed that all the time ,drives me nuts.

Toni - posted on 08/04/2009

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my favorite happened last week. Alady stopped me and asked if my girls are twins i replied yes, identical she asked, i replied no. both girls? yes i answered, Her next question assounded me, are they both yours? DUHHHH!!!!

[deleted account]

My girls are now 4 months and 3 weeks and when we go out I always get these comments "oh they must be a handful" , "are they identical" , "oh two boys “when they are clearly girls dressed in pink lol. This one is my favorite "are they twins?" , "how do you tell them apart". I as well pretend to be really into my shopping, talking to my husband or put a blanket over the double stroller so that I could get my shopping done becaus otherwise I always get stopped and asked the same old questions over and over.

Laura - posted on 08/03/2009

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my identical twin girls r only 3 months old and i am soooooooooooooooo sick of being stopped by strangers, asking the same old ?'s, saying ohh double trouble and u got ur hands full... whenever i get the chance i put a blanket over the pram to hide them so i can just get my shopping done without being asked a million stupid ?'s

Michelle - posted on 08/03/2009

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I have 3 1/2 year old b/g twins. When they were babies I always had them dressed in blue for my son and either pink or purple for my daughter. I was amazed at how many people still asked what sex they were. The best was when I told them they were a boy and a girl and they said afterwards "ARE THEY IDENTICAL?" I said, NO they are a boy and a girl!! LOL! :)

[deleted account]

I've been held up by a woman who insisted that my b/g twins couldn't be twins because they aren't identical (or even the same sex).



As for the discussion on whether b/g twins can be identical, some people alluded to what is being called "semi-identical twins", when a single egg is fertilized by two sperm and splits to develop into two babies. The babies are identical as far as their mother's genetic contribution is concerned, but they're not identical with regard to their father's genes, and because it is the sperm that determines sex (adding an X or Y chromosome to the mother's X), it is possible for semi-identical twins to be b/g.

Diane - posted on 08/03/2009

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I have g/g twins and always get asked the question are they twins - now i can see where people are coming from as my twins are completely different as one has black hair and the other has blonde. I have 2 other children - the oldest had just turned 3 when the twins were born the the second oldest wasn't even 2 yet so I have to say the best was when all the kids were small I was asked were they quadruplets. And just like everyone else here the all time favorite "Your hands must be full"

Kim - posted on 08/01/2009

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I'm a single mom of a 5 yr old girl and 6 month girl twins and my two peeves are when I have both in dresses but one may be blue or green, people always say "oh you had a boy and a girl?" I mean come one, they're in dresses! Second one is when people will ask me, "why'd you have twins if you're single - don't you think one would've been easier" Seriously? I didn't really know I had an option. I just shake my head, laugh and reply - Well I had nothing better to do and my eldest daughter wanted dolls for her birthday. Also, one time this lady ask me if they were identical, i said no they're fraternal and she replied, "oh, my twins were paternal and I could never tell them apart" I did not stick around to see what she meant.

Cheryl - posted on 08/01/2009

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I always hate it when people ask who's older - as if knowing which one was arbitrarily grabbed by the doctor 2 minutes before the other will give them some insider knowledge, like which one's Esau and which one's Jacob. I don't think the psychology of birth order applies here. No matter how hard I try to avoid answering (I certainly don't want my daughters to pick up the impression that their birth order defines them) some people refuse to back off until they know who's older. So I ask the girls whose idea it was to split the egg.

Stephanie - posted on 08/01/2009

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I have non identical twin girls and people are always going...'oh I bet they're hard work' I think they recon im just being difficult when I go 'no not really'. I also had a woman practically chase me round a shop and when she caught up with me went 'here they are' I'd never seen her before in my life and she then went on to assume on of my girls who was dressed mainly in pink was a boy!

Charlotte - posted on 07/31/2009

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I have identical twin boy's. They are 3 years old now. I also have 3 other children. 11year old son ,8 year old son & 4year old daughter. After the twin's turned about 1 I constantly had people asking me if they were triplets. I mean I know girls are small but clearly you can tell that my daughter is bigger than the boys. Always did I have people stopping me asking if they were twins, I would just tell them "It's a special on isle 3 buy 1 get 1. "They would laugh and be on there way. But never could I go into a store for milk & bread, It would take at least an hour from so many people stopping asking questions.

Corne - posted on 07/31/2009

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i think "are they twins" is the one question that everybody ask, my older son replies with "no they are 4 days apart" and then the people will say "O "

Emily - posted on 07/30/2009

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I also think it's really funny when people(complete strangers) try to guess which one is older just by looking at them. They almost always guess wrong because my oldesy(by 1 minute) has always been smaller.

Christine - posted on 07/30/2009

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When my boy/girl twins were four months old... I took them to the mall to get my daughter's ears pierced... they were sitting side by side in their double stroller... and it literally took me 25 minutes to walk to the piercing pagoda because of everyone stopping me to ask if they were twins... I just happened to be with a close girlfriend of mine at the time... and I told her, "If one more person asks me if they are twins... I am going to lose it." Then ten seconds later a woman steps in front of my stroller to make me stop and asks..."Are they twins?" My response was, " No one is mine and one is hers', pointing to my girlfriend, "But don't worry they have the same father" The lady's mouth just dropped open... my girlfriend turned a hundred shades of red... I maneuvered my double stroller around the shocked woman...saying, "Have a great day.." and was on my way. We still laugh our booties off over that one...hee hee

Emily - posted on 07/30/2009

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I have 6 year old twin boys. I've gotten used to the normal questions "are they twins"(umm duh), "they look just alike how do you tell them apart"(because they are mine) "are they the same"(no they are 2 different people) "do twins run in your family"(yes they do but thats not the only way some people just get lucky) etc The things that bother me are people that assume that because they are twins & they are not as common as singletons that they can TOUCH my boys or talk to them(right in their face) without first talking to me. Also I had them when I was 19 so I always got "Oh did you us fertility treatments"?!?!?!?! Now why in the world would I do that at 19!!!!!!!!!!

Christine - posted on 07/30/2009

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My favorite is this... "How far apart are they?" I answer, "3 minutes" Then I get... "Oh...are they twins?"

Really now...what gave them that idea?

Renee M. - posted on 07/30/2009

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My girl twins are not identical, and one is taller, so people ask a lot if they are twins, I do hate it when they say oh this is the fat one (she is not fat she just has gorgeous cheeks like me!)

And thay say oh you are brave, so I agree on the baby for free sign LOL!

Amanda - posted on 07/30/2009

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The best question I got was the other day.. I had a woman ask me " how do you do it with two" so I responded " well I just deal with one at a time, so one gets my attention one day the other the next day" and she seriously thought I meant it.. She was so confused and told me I was awful for doing such a thing..!!!

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