Together or separate classrooms for school?

Paula - posted on 07/31/2012 ( 40 moms have responded )

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For you moms with school age twins,
Together in the same classroom or different classrooms?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

KIM - posted on 08/12/2012

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My twin boys, now 27, were separated in school, by my choice, from Kindergarten to grade 4. In 5th grade, they asked to be in the same classroom & we did that! But in those formulative years, plus the fact that my fraternal boys looked VERY much alike, the decision to separate them was excellent. Even if it is not intended, twins are often compared in all ways and I did not want this to be the case educationally. Plus, they weren't dependent on each other socially & were able to make their own friends. I strongly suggest separating them. It will be good for them & better for the teachers.

Elaine - posted on 08/12/2012

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It is so wonderful to hear why parents make the decisions that they do. I have always believed that parents know their children and should be allowed to have input into their children's educational decisions. Remember, what works for one family may not work for another!

Angela - posted on 08/08/2012

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My identical boys are 8 1/2 and going into 3rd grade, they have been together since preschool.

This is a hot topic!! My husband and I don't even see eye to eye. Schools and teachers seem to think they know what is best. And i am a teacher. Everyone seems to have a strong opinion. But really, there are pros and cons to each stance. Who are we to say that separating them is healthier? I held and still sort of hold that belief. That being in separate classes fosters more independance, personal growth blah, blah, blah. But my husband believes (also a teacher and coach--high school) keeping them together helps foster this amazing bond they have, why would you want to do anything to put a wedge there? He has polled many of his twin students who say they love being together or that when they were separated they had a hard time.

As a teacher myself (elementary), I have seen many younger twins who needed to be separate, they don't get along well, are at very different learning levels or are behavior problems. So I think what it comes down to is whatever works best for your twins. Mine want to be together and the thought of separating makes them uneasy. They are great students and Not a behavior problem. It does make it easy on me, they have the same homework, projects and performances and the same friends. This is where they are Comfortable, but who knows how comfy they'd be had they been separate from the get go. I will always wonder how different they'd be had they been separated and allowed to grow and learn without that stability of having a partner, a crutch. Does the constant knowledge of knowing you truly are not alone hinder their development or is it an asset? Will they become timid, needy people, uneasy in situations they know no one? Wait thats me, timid in situations where i am alone or dont know anyone... Really tho, in the grand scheme of things, it's 6 years out if their life. Middle school and high school will inevitably force them to be separate with the changing of classes. They will then get to experience the other side for 6 years, giving them a good balance? I hope!

Elaine - posted on 08/05/2012

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As an educator for 40 years, I have taught my share of multiples. I always advocate for separate classrooms. Invariably, one of the multiples dominates the other and the shyer/slower/less independent one rarely finds his/her way. As a mom before me said, most children go to school without a sibling in the class. I know and appreciate that multiples are different in many ways; I think that even so they should be allowed the opportunity to develop independently.

Cathy - posted on 08/02/2012

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Being a twin myself i opt for separate classrooms where possible. This way each can develop and not rely ion the other as my twin did. We both did better after separated

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Kara - posted on 09/27/2012

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I think you really have to decide what you feel is best for your kids. If you think they would stress more by being apart for that first year then fight to keep them together. If you think they'll adjust to a new routine AND being apart, then by all means have them separate. I knew my b/g twins would need to be together for K and it was absolutely the right choice. Then they split for 1st grade and said they wanted to and were ready. Really they just needed each other that first year with all the changes happening to them. They needed that moral support of just being in the presence of each other, as they actually did not do much physical interacting at all in the class room. At this point (now in 3rd grade) we eat breakfast together in the morning at school, then they sometimes find each other on the playground. For the most part they have completely different friends and completely different interests now. But, let me tell you, if something is wrong with one, the other is right there to be sure things get better! There was no way my son was going to stay home with his aunt while I took *his* sister to the hospital (all is well now).

Amanda - posted on 09/15/2012

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Deffinately different classes for my twins (boy/girl ) they started k in diff classes , not by my choice , I thought same class would be easier so when given the choice in 1st I put them togeather , big mistake , they felt the need to compete for attention in class , it was a mess , they already have to compete at home so from now on diff classes at school , gives them a break from eachother

Michelle - posted on 09/11/2012

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In grade 1 I separated them it was the wrong choice and my boys let me know that it was so I put them back into the same class they will be in grade 6 next year and I think it's time to separate them as they are both more confident. I would like to ask the other moms who didn't separate their twins if they had people telling them they were doing the wrong thing? It seems to me that everyone thinks they know what's best for twins and will tell you so without you asking, it use to annoy me.

Aimie - posted on 09/08/2012

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We separated my now 10 year old identical twins in preprimary (5.5yr's old) We were given the choice and thought it might make them interact better at home. They still fight at home. But they have a different group of friends. I still can't decide whether it was a good idea or not. They get invited to different parties and someone is always complaining that it isn't fair. But they are known by their teachers and classmates as individuals and not the twins. It has it's pro's and cons just like everything else does.

Ali - posted on 08/27/2012

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Tristan...we may face that problem next year because one of the first grade teachers my older son had and we did NOT like her. I'd hate to see either one of my twins get her. So we'll see how Kindergaten goes and take it from there.

Tristan - posted on 08/26/2012

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This year I had to fight to keep my twins together. Riley and Rowan are going into grade 3. Apparently the grade they like to separate them is grade 3. My twins are boy girl twins, and I always say that they are not twins, they are two kids who just happened to share a womb. They are so different, they don't even look like brother and sister. The reason I wanted them kept together is because it's easier on me. I LOVE their teacher, and don't feel like the other grade 3 teacher would be a good fit for either of them. They are extremely independent of each other, and so keeping them together, for us just makes sense. What does not make sense is separating them just for the sake of separating them. As parents we know our children, and what is the best thing for our children.

Jennifer - posted on 08/25/2012

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my fraternal twin boys are in the same kindergarten class. I will reasses each year. I agree that there are pro and cons to both ways and that each parent knows their children best. I taught high school years ago and had a set of identical twin seniors who took every high school class and even sports together. They seemed well adjusted and eventually chose to attend separate colleges. Kids are resilient and will adjust, do what you think is best.

Julie - posted on 08/14/2012

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I have identical 8 yr old boys. They work very well together and have had different personalities from the beginning. I forced the school district to keep them together through second grade. I wanted them to continue to encourage each other without any separation anxiety as these first couple years are important building the foundation for education. Most states have a law that gives us multiple parents a choice of separate or together. My boys are now entering 3rd grade and want to try separate for a year.

Ali - posted on 08/13/2012

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We kept our Boy/Girl twins together for pre-school this past year. Mid year the teacher asked us our plans for kindergarten. Before we answered we asked her professional opinion....and her mom opinion. Both times she answered with separate. At the beginning of pre school our concern was that she would be socially reliant on her brother because she was less outgoing, and we worried he would need her confidence/cheerleeding academically. He proved us wrong and she proved us right! So the suggestion was to divide them, more so for my daughter because she is not only still a little dependent on him but also turned out to be highly competative with him, thus rushing through her work doing a sloppy job to beat him in being done first. By the end of the year she had made just as many friends and was more outgoing, but still competative with him. They are headed into Kindergarten with 2 different teachers, both love who they got and the friends that will be joining them.

Kelly - posted on 08/13/2012

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My twins b/g age 5 are starting all day kindergarten in September. They have been home with me since birth and have only been away from my husband and I when they go to their grandparents for the night. I am putting them together! Its their frist year of school and the extra comfort of knowing each other is close by will help them transition (and me too. lol) So unless the teacher sees problems through the year they will stay together for the first few years and then separate when they want to! I always think their might be less issues when they are the opposite sex as they tend to branch out in different directions.

Connie - posted on 08/13/2012

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Together works best for my twins. The two years that they were in separate class rooms was actually rough on them. Although they work independently of each other, they seem to function better knowing exactly where the other one is.

Pam - posted on 08/12/2012

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I have twin girls who are starting First grade soon. They were in separate classes in Kindergarten and will continue to be unless something changes. They enjoy being together, but they can get very competitive and sometimes very silly. During Kindergarten I noticed a big change in their relationship, form the good. It is hard to keep up with assignments, but then they just have to be responsible and know what day they have gym or whatever.

Nancy - posted on 08/12/2012

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My twins were in separate Kindergarten classes last year and it was very difficult on both of them. They just finished their first week of 1st grade together in the same class and it has been much better. They both begged to be together this year.

Each set of twins is different. There is no right or wrong here. It is up to the individual family as to what works best for them.

Kristin - posted on 08/12/2012

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Definitely separate whenever possible. It's often more work for the parents (different homework, for example), but at least in my case, better for my kids. They can make new friends and accomplish milestones without constantly being compared to one another.

Alda - posted on 08/12/2012

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I have fraternal twin girls who will be 4 in August, starting school (reception) in September. They were born at 28 weeks and A has always been way behind L. She's not stupid by any means, she just takes her time to do things (eg she walked a year after L). They've been in the same class at kindergarten and preschool, and L is the bubbly, outgoing one, and is always butting in and 'helping' A. Since we've started separating them a bit A has really come out of her shell and made amazing progress. Therefore, after consultation with their new teachers, we have decided to separate them into different classes to start with, so that A can be out of L's shadow and develop on her own. There are only two reception classes and they do lots of stuff together anyway, plus they'll see each other in the playground and at lunch time. If they're unhappy being separated the school has agreed to have them together in the same class, but I think separation is for the best.

Amanda - posted on 08/12/2012

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My sister and I were in the same class in kindergarten. After that we were separated until our school put us in the same homeroom. From 8 th grade on we were in some of the same classes and sometimes we had the same teachers just different periods. I'm glad we were separated for the most part though. It gave us a break from eachother.

Shuntelle - posted on 08/12/2012

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Yes, seperate them. I have twins and its easier for them to transition, because by the time they get to Jr. High they will be seperated anyway.

Jannine - posted on 08/12/2012

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Ive twin girls we have split them to give them there own personalities and irs helping stacy as she has selective mutisum and not having her twin is helping push her confidence xxx and gives her twin rebecca the independance she needs xxx

Vicki - posted on 08/12/2012

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I have a set of fraternal twins that are starting in another 2 weeks, I'm in the field of early childhood education and I requested for them to to be separated. My husband and my reasons beings are that we want to have their own identities. We also have a 7 year old daughter, every since she started kindergarten, she always had the same set of twins in her class.

Susan - posted on 08/12/2012

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We kept our boy/girl twins together for most of preschool, but separated them for school. It was a good decision. They were preemies and my son had significant delays. It was often difficult to convince some of the adults at school that my daughter was not responsible for her twin. It think this would have been more pronounced had we kept them together. Good luck.

Rebeccca - posted on 08/12/2012

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My twins just started first grade, and we chose to have them together in both kindergarten and first grade. They do sit in different "groups" but are together in reading group and in gifted and talented class.

I did this for a few reasons.

#1 Homework.
It was a challenge and struggle to get homework done in kindergarten, especially with after school activities and since we are even more busy with activities this year and with a newborn in the house this made things much easier. I can't imagine doing two completely different sets of homework every night.

#2 Classroom volunteering.
I am only able to do a minimum amount of this and it would be harder to stretch between two teachers and classrooms.

#3 More challenging work
At the risk of sounding like a braggart, I wanted my boys to be together because then I would have a better chance of them having access to more challenging reading material, as well as math. There are only 6 children in first grade in the gifted and talented program and my twins are two of them. They only meet once every few weeks, so they need challenged on a daily basis. If I split them into two classrooms, I risk having them being the only child that needs the extra challenge, and with the teacher already stretched thin they may not be willing or able to provide that for only one student.

We may separate next year depending on their needs. Their kindergarten teacher wanted to split them up this year, and I'm glad my husband was firm about them staying together. They don't depend on each other, and some days don't even play with each other at recess, but I know they do like to know where each other are.

Kate - posted on 08/12/2012

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My Girl / Boy twins are starting 4 year old kindly next year, I am going to request that they kept together. It will be lot easier if they have events school excursions at least they will be on the same day etc... As they get older they will be given the choice, but for now we will see how it goes :)

Ann - posted on 08/07/2012

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I have faternal twins (boy/girl) who are 7 and going into 2nd grade. They were in seperate classes for Kindergarten, but with 3 kids in school, it was just too much for me to keep up with, who had what going on that day etc, so for 1st grade, I asked they be in the same class. So much easier for me, and for them, now keep in mind they are not the kind of twins that rely on each other. They are totally different from each other, the only thing they have in common is that they are twins and siblings. So it was a much easier dission for me to make. Good luck!

Vicki - posted on 08/06/2012

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I have fraternal girls and we have done it both ways. K-1 they were together, 2-3 they were apart and now for 4th grade they are going to be back together again.

I am thankful my kids school is willing to listen to us as parents and allows us the choice each year.

I used to be totally in the seperate camp....but opinions do change sometimes and what is best for your kids one year could change to the next.

Michelle - posted on 08/05/2012

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I have identical girl twins going into 3rd grade. When they were in preschool I asked their teacher what her recommendation would be for kindergarten. Both girls made friends independent of each other, but one girl would always make sure her sister was somewhere in the room. I thought it might be best to keep them together so she would not have the anxiety of being apart from the other one. Well 6 months into kindergarten, the shyer twin started talking about how everyone wanted to be the other twins friend and not hers. So that was the last year I kept them together, and now each girl has made her own friends and I have seen the shyer twin become more outgoing.

Amy - posted on 08/05/2012

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My twins are girl/boy and 10 yrs old. They're going into 5th grade this year. I would advocate for separate classrooms as I think it gives the greatest chance at both children being successful. If they are in the same classroom I think it prevents them from being the best possible students they can be. I think twins have roles within their twinship and they can revert back to those without even being aware. I have seen my twins do just fine and they have never been in a class together.

Amy - posted on 08/05/2012

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My twins are girl/boy and 10 yrs old. They're going into 5th grade this year. I would advocate for separate classrooms as I think it gives the greatest chance at both children being successful. If they are in the same classroom I think it prevents them from being the best possible students they can be. I think twins have roles within their twinship and they can revert back to those without even being aware. I have seen my twins do just fine and they have never been in a class together.

Michelle - posted on 08/05/2012

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There is no right or wrong answer to this question. You as parents know your child best but it always helps to talk it through. You also have to contend with the schools's policy on multiborn children. In Staffordshire it is to separate multiborn children (Burton on Trent has the highest incidence of multi births in the country - it is quite literally something in the water!!), which was to separate multi born children. So they went to a childminders, follow by Primary all together and then were separated in high school, but due them having similar abilities they did have several classes together. I wish that I'd be able to afford to have separate bedrooms for them as from 16/17 they began getting on each other nerves, they both felt that they couldn't get away from each other. Plus now serious boyfriends are on the scene things are getting a little....er....difficult LOL

Grace - posted on 08/04/2012

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.I have been struggling with this too recently as I have a set of boy/girl like twins ( through adoption and pregnancy) as well as a set of actual twin girls. My like twins are starting kindergarten this month and I am not sure what to do. However, my biggest issue is how they will feel when they go to kindergarten and if they will feel lonely. Then I remembered that most children start kindergarten not knowing anyone and quickly adjust. So, I think I will just let the school decide and try to prepare them for this separation.

Shauna - posted on 08/03/2012

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We have girl/boy twins who will be starting Kindergarten in the fall... we have opted to keep them together for Kindergarten but will separate them in Grade 1 thru 6.

Sandra - posted on 08/03/2012

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i have identical twin girls that are going to 2nd grade. we have had them sepperated. but now that i have done this i am having a hard time changing it to having them together. in kindergarten one of the twins started to have eating issues. she lost weight and we were hoping that the sepperation had nothing to do with it. it ended up being an issue with her tonsills and adenoids, but i was still wanting to try them together. i am now trying to convince the school to let them try to be together.

Lisa - posted on 08/03/2012

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I have boy/girl twins. I kept them in the same class for a couple of reasons. My daughter has small separaton issues, so I wanted her to feel secure knowing she had family with her. Second, it is easier for me due to them having the same homework, projects, and parties. There has never been a problem of sibling rivalry in the classroom. I've had teachers tell me it takes awhile for the other kids to realize they are brother/sister. When they go to middle school, I will request for them to be separated.

Cassie - posted on 08/02/2012

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Let them decide, they may feel that it's easier to start school with someone they know. Also you never know what they will decide in the future.

Michelle - posted on 08/01/2012

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I have identical twins who are now 19 years old and I'm in the field of childcare. I would advocate separate classes as this enables the twins to develop their own personalities, and separate friendship groups which in turn prepares them for separating when they get older and want to leave home.

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