Twins in seperate classes

Heather - posted on 10/12/2010

I am locking this conversation as this mom enrolled her children in school in September and it is now October. Thanks to everyone who replied!

Wilma - posted on 10/12/2010

Put them in separate classes because they are individuals kidz and need their own attention not as twins. I separated mine and the now 27 and cope well in live!!

Lynn - posted on 02/02/2010

Thanks for the update, Teri. There are pros and cons to twins (or any siblings) being together and having separate time in school. Each family must weigh those. The schools stress separation mostly to avoid the sibling rivalry that can crop up in various situations. As a parent of twins and as a former teacher, I've enjoyed twins in both situations. There are no absolutes. If a parent feels strongly that their twins will do better together, make an appointment to see the principal in late spring to present your reasons so the school can make changes for the next year.

Freddyka - posted on 02/01/2010

All of your responses have been wonderful words of advice and i just want to say thank you for all of you to respond, its so nice to have this common ground with all of you !

Christiana - posted on 01/30/2010

My boys started school this last year, and I had the same hard choice to make. But it helped that I had helped to teach them myself and noticed that they weren't doing their own work. One would do all the colors and shapes and the other all the letters and numbers. And one is very social and the other is a loner, so I decided to separte them and they are doing very well. They are both excelling in their studies and even the not so social one is making friends on his own. Which he wouldn't do if he had his brother, because he would just stick with him.

Sharon - posted on 01/30/2010

I have 9 year old fraternal twins, Leigh-Anne and Ashley, I have opted to separate them since Kindergarten and it has worked wonders! They have independence, they have their own friends, and their own interests. My decision to separate them was because I didn't want anyone to think just because they are twins they had to do the same things, which in my opinion is farther from the truth. I think it would be good for them to have separate classes. Like, Lynn said in her post, it does boost confidence levels and does help in so many ways. and also helps them learn how to interact with others and not just interacting with each other. :) Good luck.

Terri - posted on 01/29/2010

My twin girls are 7. They were seperated for Kindergarten, together in preschool and are together this year in 1st grade. They have done fine with both situations. Although it is easier for me when they are together. They both have the same school work, same snack,party, etc. I do think it is good for them to gain some independence and individual interests.

Lynn - posted on 01/28/2010

Freddyka - schools like twins to be separated and as a mom of 18 yr old B/G twins, I did so in 1st through 4th grade. At the 5th grade I put them back together for simplicity of studying States and Capitals, country reports and specialized classes our elementary school offered. In middle and high school, they often shared a class because both are honors students and their schedules drove whether or not they would be together. It helped them develop their own friends and confidence to be apart those first few years. It was also a homework help when they came back together. Hope that's helpful!
Lynn

Christina - posted on 01/28/2010

I too have fraternal twin boys and they are currently in Kindergarten and they are in the same class. They were in a Pre-school previously and in the same class. I think it depends a lot on the children and their personalities. My two boys are extremly shy and take a long time to get comfortable with people so since they were in a pre-school that was not held within the current public school, I chose to keep them in the same class so they could feel comfortable. Now that being said, I think it was the right move for us to keep them together for Kindergarten, but will definetely be separating them for 1st grade now that they are accustomed to the school, teachers, kids, etc. It really depends on the children and their personalities.

Rebecca - posted on 01/28/2010

I have 9yr old twin B/G. We started them in the same class as the school they went to only had the one class and it went really well for the first year because they were getting used to the new situation they were in the second year was still good but they were always telling tales on the other (meaning that if one didn't do as good in something or if someone was nasty to them)b4 they had a chance to say for themselves. We then decided to move schools to give them a chance to make their own friends and have stories to tell without the other interrupting and also so they would have something to talk to each other about. My twins are best friends but being together all the time at home at school going to friends parties or even just going for play dates I thought they were relying om each other a bit much. They weren't real keen on it to start with but now they have been apart for 3 yrs and they think it's great they have their own friends and have things to talk about when they get home.
But saying that it worked for my twins doesn't mean it will work for yours.
Best of luck with the tough decision..

Astrid - posted on 01/27/2010

My boys (identical) were in kindergarten together because there was only one class. When they started first grade in a new school, we asked to keep them together since they didn't know anyone there. They did okay, but each one wanted to be first at everything and they competed with each other! Ever since then they have been apart and like it that way - they are now almost 12 and in the 6th grade.

Debra - posted on 01/27/2010

I have twin girls...I had them in preschool together, but in Kindergarten we chose to separate them..BIG mistake! I will keep my girls together as long as we can. It made it difficult with homework, conferences & Holiday parties. My girls are close & have normal sibling rivalry.They do have their own friends in the same classroom. Many people/Teachers will tell me they need/will develop their own personality while they are in separate classrooms...but my girls do have their own. You know your twins, you know if they will be ok together or not:) My girls love being together, not to mention it makes life for us Parents' easier. Good Luck!!!

Jodie - posted on 01/27/2010

I have the same delima. My twins are b/g and they are starting kinder in the fall as well. Right now they are in pre-kinder classes and they are together. They love being together. They have their own friends that they play with, some mutual friends they play with, and they have each other to play with. I have decided that in kinder I am going to keep them together and see how it goes. I have a friend that is a b/g twin and she told me that her and her brother were in the same classes until high school and she loved it. She said that if she didn't understand something in class or homework that they could help each other out and they could watch over each other. She also said that they did make their own friends because they were b/g. You could alway put them in the same class for kinder and see how it goes. Go off of what the teacher recommends.

Shelbe - posted on 01/27/2010

My 10 year old twin girls have been home taught and now take elective classes at public school. I asked them about twins being in the same class and they said yes they should be. Take it from the people who would know!

Nadine De - posted on 01/27/2010

kindergarden for my sisters twins was great for them being together but as they went to school they needed to be apart so that they could be more independant and it was great for them they are now 12 and both excell at school sport and acedemics so it was a great choice for them .

Caroline - posted on 01/27/2010

I have two sets of twins, boys and boy/girl. Unfortunatly they have been in the same classes up until High School. I say unfortunatly as they would fall out in and out of class. They never had their own space and friends. The worst thing though was the constant tale telling which made me feel like a bad parent. Every little grumble in class got reported back to me by one or the other, but the teacher never spoke to me! It took me a long time to realise that all kids get grumbled at in class daily, it's part of normal class room behaviour, these minor issues were insignificant and other parents never got to know that their little angel had shouted out in class or not hung their coat up after play. My advice is to seperate them as much as you can, allow them to develope on their own and make their own friends.

Heather - posted on 01/26/2010

Ask them. I know it sounds weird, but try it. When my twins were in daycare the were separated some and they did good. Last year in preschool because there was only one class in their school they had to be together and the teacher said they fought all the time over the same toys, friends, etc. So this year because there is more than one kindergarten class we asked them if they wanted to be together or weparated and they chose to be seperated and they are doing great.

Sabrina - posted on 01/26/2010

Our twins are b/g and just turned 7yrs old. They r in the 1st grade...since Prk they have been together. Here in SD we dont get the choice of different classes unless one is held back a year as we r very small!! In fact our twins only have 8 students includeing them right now in their class!! We had considered holding our son back because socially he just wasnt up with the rest of kids he has always depended on his sister being the outgoing one and having him tag along....doesnt help that it is all girls in this class as well...anyways we did not hold him back and he has done very well in the class and has become his own little person and has made his own friends in 2nd grade and kind. We also have 2 older kids that are singletons..11yrs old Boy and 9yr old boy.....I think once you get different opinions and have a better idea for yourself you will know what is best for your family and either way will be just fine and will work out for your boys too. Best of luck to ya hun.

Ann-marie - posted on 01/26/2010

When my twins started school I went with the schools recommendation that they be seperate... they had been in pre school together too and we treated it Kindergarten is a new experience! Over the years they have been together and apart and did best apart, it was good to be themsleves and not the twins. They also had more fun together because they had a break from each other!

Jennifer - posted on 01/26/2010

My faternal twin boys just started kinder this year!! Our school district puts them in seperate classes. I was sad at first but it has worked out great!! They have made some new friends on their own and still meet up at recess! It will be great!!!

Zoe - posted on 01/26/2010

My twin boys started kindergarten this past September, and I wanted them to be in different classes so they could experience making new friends and having their own identity. I want them to grow up knowing that they are two individuals with two different personalities, dislikes and likes. Plus I heard you won't hear about the twins fighting over things in school and bringing the fight home so you can solve it for them. You will make the right decision just follow your gut, good luck!!

Bobby Jo - posted on 01/26/2010

My twins (girl and boy) started this fall they are in seperate classes and are loving the individual attention. I actually asked them what they wanted and they didn't want to be together for school. So far it is working our really well. Good luck with your decision.

Moshira - posted on 01/26/2010

My twins are also fraternal boys. They started grade 1 this year. They have developed amazingly being separated. I am also doing a degree in education for foundation phase and have found that they rely less on each other if they are separate and in some ways they are more understanding of the other. They are very competitive which is why I feel it helps them to be setarated.

Renee - posted on 01/25/2010

I decided in Pre-K to separate them. I am so glad I did. Twins or not I feel they are individuals and need to succeed and fail on their own. If they are together and one is doing well and the other not so much it's would be difficult. I have that situation and being apart it is less tension. It is more work for me but worth it. Less tension they are in 4th grade & they know how the other one is doing but together they would be competing even more than they do now!

Sue - posted on 01/25/2010

I have twin daughters (Fraternal) age 10. When they started school, my husband and I decided to separate them because we have 1 dominant twin and 1 passive. It really helped them socially because during preschool years they would only play with one another. It was hard at first, but they did get use to it and were able to develop their own personalities. However, they are in 4th grade now and we did put them in the same class this year because homework was becoming a nightmare! Things are going well. Hopefully this helps!!

LuAnne - posted on 01/25/2010

We kept our fraternal twin boys together for kindergarten, and then they were separated after that per the teacher's suggestion. She made their 1st grade recommendations based on their personalities, so it just worked out for them to be in different classes. Middle school they had the same teachers, just different hours, and it made our life a whole lot easier.
On a funny note - the kindergarten teacher told us she made a big deal out of all the kids' birthdays. When it was our boys' day, she told the class they weren't only brothers, they were twins. One of our boys looked at her and asked, "What's a twin?"
Good luck w/your decision.

Sasha - posted on 01/25/2010

I have twin boys. Their school wanted me to separate them, but after having 2 more sets of twins parents request the same, they decided to grant our requests. I say put them in the same kindergarten class and wait unitl first to separate them. Mine love being in the same class.

Freddyka - posted on 01/25/2010

thabk you so much for the advise i think i'm leaning towards the seperating thing i think you are all right about them becoming their own and that has been so important to me from the beginning so y stop here! thank you all

Iridescent - posted on 01/24/2010

We have 3 that will be in the same class as there is only one class for each grade in our school. Even if there were 2, we couldn't separate all 3. They've been together all the time for as long as they can remember, with the exception of day care where one has to stay home with a nurse, and they're only 7 weeks apart. We're afraid they're going to run all over their teacher since they'll be the majority of the class! Class size here is 9-12 students.

TONYA - posted on 01/24/2010

I have identical boys, 10 years old. I wanted them in different classes from the beginning. They can be roudy when together and I didn't want them to always be associated together. This is working out great for us! They still hug in the halls everytime they see each other (4th graders now) and they have lunch together every day. I would say separate them. If they cannot function apart you can always put them together next year, if not sooner. Also, speak to the school guidance counselor. They can be a great help

Donna - posted on 01/23/2010

I am helping raise twin 8 yr. old identical twin grandsons. When they were in preschool, they were in the same class. Once they hit kindergarten age, we chose to seperate them because our school will only put them together the first year and then seperate them. They don't like to be seperate, so I asked that they be seperated right from the beginning. They however were close to each others classrooms. They are doing well with it. Best Wishes in what you decided.

Amnie - posted on 01/23/2010

Hi there, all the advice above is great.... I think Laura's advice is especially more beneficial to you for the reason that they are fraternal... I have fraternal twin girls, I too didn't know what to do. I decided to put them in the same class in Kindergarten and then how it goes... it was great, they slowly adjusted them from sitting next to eachother to different table groups... we decided to put them in different classses in Yr 1 to help them find their own friends etc... the teacher also suggested this cause one twin was much better in some areas and so it could be holding the other one back. Well they had their time in Kindergarten toghether and they loved it, they were together, they got to go to parties together, it was so easy for me, one teacher, one excursion, one library day... for me and them it was great... Now Year 1 - was good too, they had some issues with parties and getting upset when one class seemed to have more Bday Parties then the other and also the issue where one twin had all the girls from their kindy class and the other had none. This was a tough issue as I did request that friends get shared but they didn't...and it was too late. The year went on, i wished I had insisted on Kindy Girls being mixed better (I thought I had) and then wished I had left them together for one more year but it worked out. My girls were very young to be in Kindy 4 1/2 and Yr 1 5 1/2... so Yr 2 came and they wanted to be back toghether so that's what I asked for. And it was fantastic, parties, friends, learning everything was great. Now I am getting them to do Yr 2 again purely based on young for grade and since I decided and they too want to be separate as they are starting new grade...I think it will be good for them, they are now 7 1/2 and they are social and able to mix in and handle the issue of birthdays etc etc. Also excursions are separate also. You have to go with what you think is right for your twins. I have taken a year by year approach and I truly think that since they want to be separate and they are truly ready now, but just another note my Twins are Fraternal and you can tell them apart... so that's another factor . Do what you think is right, honestly mother knows best when it comes to your kids. Good luck. Please read the great advice from all the mums and then make your decision based on what your heart says to do.... :D

Laura - posted on 01/23/2010

I wanted to add that part of my initial concern about separating them was that one of twins was more outgoing than the other and seemed to attract friends much easier, and the other boy appeared to depend on his brother too much. The boy I worried about the most adjusted the quickest, and both boys really like being separated. They also see each other on the playground and at lunch, plus daycare after school. They are best friends (most of the time;)and always have each other to play with and experience stages with, but this allows them time to just be themselves, and not a twin. Their school's 4 Third grade classes have pretests for math for each learning unit and mixes up the entire grade according to each test score, and my boys usually end up in the smart class. Having a little indirect competition is good for them too and helps minimize constant direct comparisons. (Like who is smarter? Who is shyer? Which is the good twin? things some singleton parents say) While not always pleasant, it truly is good for them have unique experiences like only one being invited to a classmates party or going on different field trips.

Laura - posted on 01/23/2010

We separated our fraternal twin boys in Kindergarten, although they were always together before school started. The school recommended it. We weren't sure at first, but it gives each boy time to be individuals and to make their own friends completely independent of the other. The downside is each teacher is slightly different, so homework is different, school supplies may vary, and one child may come home with a lollypop and not the other, etc.., but my boys got used to it quickly and actually enjoy the time apart. Overall, it has been very good for them as individuals. They are in 3rd grade now and I would definitely do it again.

Sarah - posted on 01/23/2010

My identical twin girls started pre-kindergarten this year and they are in seperate classes. It is working out great! I feel like they are referred to as one a lot because they are twins, and being in seperate classes gives them the opportunity to make their own friends and come home each day and they get to tell you what they did in their own class. I think it helps them become more independant and more social with other children.

Freddyka - posted on 01/21/2010

I have to say im glad im not the only one who struggles with this decision, i speak about it constantly and of course the first peole to speak their minds are those who dont have twins, i have 3 boys my oldest obviously a singleton, so i understand both aspects but i'm glad i posed this question and really appreciate everyone's input this is a hard one of many more to come i'm sure

Vanessa - posted on 01/21/2010

i have BG twins and I am really struggling with this decision as well. I used to think my boy would have more issues with being separated from his sister but am starting to think now that I have that twisted. She seems more lost without him now. It changes from month to month and I am so worried I may actually just homeschool for a couple years until I am confident that they will thrive in separate classes.

Freddyka - posted on 01/21/2010

i live next door to twins and they're in the 4th grade, the kids themselves actually told me they wouldn't want to be in the same class, I'm just really on the fense with this, I mean as twins they are compared more so than not and i would just hate to have that in school esp. when one is My youngest twins, doesnt seem to have to work much when it comes to scholastics, and his older brother struggles just a bit but in sports seems to have it togetehr a lil more.

Cecilia - posted on 01/21/2010

i am planning on keeping my twins together when they start real school they are in headstart now and are together. i just don't think they would be happy and function as well seperated. this will probably eventually change but not this soon. i went to elementary school w/twins and the school would never let them be together. iIDK why

Freddyka - posted on 01/21/2010

thank you for your input, so appreciated! have a great day!

Dorothy - posted on 01/21/2010

My twin fraternal boys as well, are also starting kindy this sept. When they started preschool 2 yrs ago they were put into seperate classes. They did just fine and actually thrived being apart. That being said I know that it is not the same for all twins. My guys are going to be back in the same class for kindy being that there is only one kindy class at our new school. Good luck with you decision.