What have people said when they saw that you have twins or you were carrying twins?

April - posted on 12/13/2009 ( 180 moms have responded )

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I am writing my final theasist in college over parents and multiples. I am going over how people don't relies how they offend us when they say annoying stupid comments about us having twins. I really would like to know anything that anyone has ever said when you were pregnant or when you were out and about with your kids and how you reacted. My favorite is when I had both my boys dressed alike and I had around three of four people ask me if they were twins... Really?? No I like to take other people's kids and dress them like mine! My best friends and I went shopping when they boys were about four months and she was carrying one and I had the other and people would ask if they were twins and we would tell people no we had them on the same day and we married twin brothers! We are so mean, I know, but I feel that I have to have fun with it sometimes or I would go insane! Thanks everyone!

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Geneive - posted on 01/27/2010

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Wow this bring s back so many memories. My identical twin girls are now 22 but it seems some things never change. So many of these comments were said to me 'double trouble,' ýou have your hands full,''twins does that run in the family,' On being told that twins did not run in my family I often received the comment 'Well I wonder how that happened." Gee I wonder how many ways there are to fall pregnant. The most offensive was a comment about if I should be driving or not after all she is pregnant. I wasn't aware that being pregnant would somehow make me unable to drive. I also remember a day out shopping when my daughters were lying in their twin side by side pram dressed in similar floral dresses one being pink and the other being blue and a passerby commenting a boy and a girl how nice. Well if you must know my older son was always dressed in blue flower print dresses (LOL).

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Shannon - posted on 02/15/2011

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I just got one that I have never heard before - "wow, they are really close in age aren't they" Yes, as a matter of fact, about 3 minutes. The woman didn't realize my 10 month old b/g twins were twins, really?

Celeste - posted on 02/17/2010

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I don't mind the "Are they twins?" because now that my boys are older, sometimes it's hard to tell. I honestly don't mind the "you got your hands full" comment either, because well, they are full! LOL

The ones that I *hate* is the comments of people committing suicide. Yeah, I had a friend tell me that she'd commit suicide if she had twins. That is a HORRIBLE thing to say! Yes, they are a handful, yes, it is challenging, but I LOVE my twin boys, they are worth everything.

Lynn - posted on 02/16/2010

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I have boy/girl twins....people have said my kids are 13 months apart...thats just like having twins....NOT! lol. also you have a millionaires family....double trouble....I don't envy you...are they identical is the best....hope this helps

[deleted account]

When I was pregnant, I had people say, wow, twins, you're going to be huge or be happy it's not 8 (I announced I was having twins not long after the octomom had her babies). Now that I have them. I am constantly asked if they are twins, then when I say yes, I'm asked if they are identical (and they are boy/girl twins, and one is blonde one is brunette). Then people say, wow you must have your hands full or bless your heart. I've even had several people say, glad it's you and not me!

Tiffany - posted on 02/16/2010

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I always get "boy you have your hands full" or "are they identical?" and then usually people stop to tell me their twin stories.

Rachel - posted on 01/31/2010

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i used to work in retail, before becoming a stay at home mom with my girls. i remember i was working up at the check out lanes and was about 25 weeks pregnant. a guy came through and asked how far along i was, when i told him i thought him and the guy behind him's eyes were going to pop out! then when i explained i was having twins the 2nd guy was like wow, i was gonna say you are hugh for being 25 weeks!! if i wasnt so "hugh" i would have thrown the stool i was sitting on at him and then jumped on him and beat him up! i wanted to tell him off so bad! i wish people would learn to keep their thoughts to themselves!!!

April - posted on 01/28/2010

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When I was pregnant with my twin girls, it seemed like everyone always felt compelled to tell me these really sad, tragic stories about either themselves or their friend's or their cousin's best friend's aunt who had twins. It was always "oh I was going to have twins but one died at 10 weeks", or "my neighbor had twins but one was born dead".
Seriously I think I heard this almost everyday- The worst was when another parent at my child's school asked me if I knew Mrs. XYZ (whose child also went to that school) I did not, so she proceeded to tell me about her BG twins who were born perfectly healthy at 38 weeks, and how the little boy became sick at 6 weeks old. They later found out that he had come into contact with Group B strep while in the hospital, even though the mother had tested negative. When I asked if he was ok, she repied "oh no, he died a month later, but she still has the girl twin!"
I also got really tired of hearing from everyone (none of these people had ever had twins) that they were going to be born REALLY early and be so tiny, and how I was going to have to leave them at the hospital in an incubator for months......... I usually told them that I really didn't think that was going to happen as I had been doing everything in my power to ensure that they would be fine. It was nerve racking to say the least. I had my girls at 37 weeks after being induced, they were 5 lbs and 5lbs 6 ounces, never saw the nicu, and came home with me 4 days later.
After i had them, the strangest questions are whether I had them "naturally" or not. I usually reply with "oh no, I wanted to, but I did have a section" Then they ask if they were concieved naturally- really, horrible question & none of anyone's business. But being that I already had 3 children when I got pg for the twins- I find it an especially silly question.
The other one is: Did I plan on having twins........ummmmmmmm, really!?! Sure i planned on it, i just knew i could do it, so i had double sex.....c'mon!
I did not get any stretch marks or retain any of the "baby weight" (Nursing two babies burns a LOT of calories) AND CHASING AFTER two babies and a 3 year old boy is an aerobic workout in itself......but people's jaws hit the floor when i tell them (b/c they always ask if i have huge stretch marks) Then they seem to be really annoyed that I don't have any......really wierd........sorry to disappoint!?!

Brittina - posted on 01/27/2010

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i usually hear you got your hands full. or what a blessing i want some twins

Lisa - posted on 01/27/2010

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It's funny how everyone that meets your twins somehow knows a twin, and I would ask if they were Identical or fraternal and they would say, " Well they were identical when they were little but now they don't look alike anymore"

Rachel - posted on 01/25/2010

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I am the mother of 2 sets of twins, all girls, just 13 months apart. My husband and I were traveling with them once and stopped at a McDonald's to eat and let the girls play. This lady walked past us as we were coming out of the bathroom and she said are they quads, I said no 2 sets of twins just a year apart and she looked at me and said "God must be punishing you for something, you must have been a really bad person." I just looked at her, I was so shocked I didn't have a come back. I love my kids and I am thankful for having them, I have never had anyone say anything like that to a complete stranger. I was just floored. And, by the way, I am a good person!!!!

Christine - posted on 01/24/2010

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Did you do fertility, IVF or whose side of the family do twins run on. I did IVF and did not really care that people knew because I was so happy to finally get pregnant but some people are too nosy for theri own good. Some people would say you are going to get huge.

Janine - posted on 01/23/2010

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Another reply when people ask if they are twins....yeah, they used to be triplets but the dog ate one!

Janine - posted on 01/23/2010

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I had a lady in the store look at me and my 5 kids (then ages 6,4,2, and newborn twins) and say "looking at your family makes me feel sick to my stomache"!

People are always asking if we are done and my reply now is "I am not sure because my hubby is so hot that I can't keep my hands off of him!"

Love when people ask if my identical girls are twins - usually say, no they are 4 months apart and walk away! - or when they ask if they are a boy and a girl when they are dressed the same and both have hair clips!

Kiki - posted on 01/23/2010

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One of the worst things I heard was "are they real twins?". What is that supposed to mean? We had fertility problems and that is the reason we had twins, but does that make them "fake" twins? Please!

The best thing I heard was last week (my twins are only 3 months old). A woman at the mall smiled at me and said, "Twins! Boy, are you lucky or what!?" She's right and I had to agree with her. I am extremely lucky.

Kiki - posted on 01/23/2010

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One of the worst things I heard was "are they real twins?". What is that supposed to mean? We had fertility problems and that is the reason we had twins, but does that make them "fake" twins? Please!

The best thing I heard was last week (my twins are only 3 months old). A woman at the mall smiled at me and said, "Twins! Boy, are you lucky or what!?" She's right and I had to agree with her. I am extremely lucky.

Heather - posted on 01/22/2010

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While I was pregnant people would either tell me I was "too small to be having twins" or act like I was huge and be relieved when I said I was having twins. Why does everyone think they are an expert on what size your belly should be? Now, the thing that bothers me the most is when people ask if they are identical or not mainly because most people don't know the difference between identical and fraternal anyway and then I say "yes, they are identical" and people say "oh do identical twins run in your family?" and I say "there are twins in my family, but identical twins don't run in anyones family they are totally random." It doesn't bother me so much when people make comments about how they are glad they don't have twins or how hard it must be because I always wanted twins and I do like the respect you get from other people (especially parents) when they find out you have twins and they think about all the work that goes into raising one baby. I always tell them I don't want anyone to have twins unless they really want twins.

Jessamy - posted on 01/22/2010

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The most common question is how do you cope? I reply (in my brattier moods) i dont, i put them on the road with signs around their necks saying "free" lol the other most common question is "are they twins" I've been known to reply "no, they are triplets, including my 6 year old".



The one that really bugs me is when strangers touch my children without my permission. I used to carry my twins in a wrap together, and i had one woman lift her toddler (who had snot dripping into its mouth) and tell her to "stroke the babys, werent they sweet" and i stepped back and asked her not to, as my children were prem and had been in hospital twice and i didnt want them to fall sick again. I find this very very hard to accept that people think its perfectly alright to stroke a persons face just becaus they are small. You wouldnt walk up to a strange adult and stroke their face.

Rebecca - posted on 01/22/2010

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I have identical twin boys who will be 17 in Feb., but I remember when I brought them home, I would get the are they twins, what does your daughter think (she was a yr. old at the time), I don't know, she's still a baby too, helllooo. Although she did think me and daddy made her twin dolls:) People will see my boys now and still ask them if they are twins, they usually look at each other, smile and say, that's what our parents say but we still think they switched us at birth, we don't look anything alike (I did mention they were Identical). I know people mean well. But don't get me on a bad day.

Pamela - posted on 01/22/2010

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I have boy/girl twins who are now 9. My favorite one is "Are they identical??" I used to hear that one ALL the time. I would CLEARLY dress them in blue and pink and they had a blue,or pink, blanket. In my head I used to think 'Are you blind???', but I would smile and say "No, they are not. One is a boy and one is a girl." As parents of twins I am sure we all have thought, and maybe said, mean things when people ask us those really dumb questions. I know I have done that too.

Niki - posted on 01/22/2010

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My twins are 8 years old now so through the years I have had TONS of comments! It seems that everybody has to get their 2 cents in. The absolute worst comment I ever got was "better you than me"! I've actually gotten that one a few times and my response was always, yes I agree :) People are so jealous! I still get the "are they twins"? The MOST annoying one however is "how do you tell them apart?" I honestly cannot count the number of times I have heard that question in 8 years. My twins are identical and it is an honest question but I just can't answer it anymore without wanting to puke!

Jeannie - posted on 01/22/2010

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Rudest thing when I was pregnant "You are the most enourmous thing I have ever seen, I hope that is more than 1 in there!"

Most annoying comments post birth:

1) Are they twins?

2) Boy you have your hands full

3) I don't envy you

4) Is it just really hard? To which my husband will reply "not really b/c we are good parents :)"

5) I hope you aren't planning on having anymore kids.

6) They're not identical, are you sure b/c I can't tell them a part?

7) Did you have fertility treatments (or the variation) Did you do this on purpose?



Thanks for this post, it is nice to know I am not alone with my irritations, LOL!

Shannon - posted on 01/22/2010

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My favorite one was at the grocery store. They were in the limo double stroller, matching seats, clothes, blankets, everything. The cashier asked "Are they twins?" My response "Nope, had that one and when were leaving the hospital this one was outside in a matching car seat so we just picked him up too."

Joyce - posted on 01/22/2010

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My twins are four but my all time favorite question was are they identical! I have a boy and a girl, figure that one out. I always wanted to answer are you really that stupid?

Yes mean but I can understand about the hundred million questions and how annoyed they make you. Just when you think you made it through another round five more people step up to ask.

Shannon - posted on 01/21/2010

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I have a boy and a girl twins, and it always amazed me how many people would look at them and then ask me if they were identical twins. Duh, No! They didn't even look alike, besides being two different sexes.

Jennifer - posted on 01/21/2010

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lets see my favorite would have to be when my twin girls were about a week old and I went to the doctor with them dressed alike girly bows and ribbons all over. And People say are they twins or are they boys or girls.

what the hell people don't open there eyes.

Dawn - posted on 01/21/2010

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my main comment was in the lift going to shop while twins were on the ward and 1 woman said to me when am i due i just paused and said i had just had twins she didnt know wht else to say

2. like most i get are they twins they in a double pram come on wake up.

3. a shopping trip round the super market takes twice as long please has nobody seen twins b4.

4. double trouble

5.you have your hands full and then i say ive got 2 older children as well and they just gawp

6. honestly the list could be endless

final 1 how do u cope my response is i just get on with it nobody else going to do the job for me

Dawn - posted on 01/21/2010

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my main comment was in the lift going to shop while twins were on the ward and 1 woman said to me when am i due i just paused and said i had just had twins she didnt know wht else to say

2. like most i get are they twins they in a double pram come on wake up.

3. a shopping trip round the super market takes twice as long please has nobody seen twins b4.

4. double trouble

5.you have your hands full and then i say ive got 2 older children as well and they just gawp

6. honestly the list could be endless

final 1 how do u cope my response is i just get on with it nobody else going to do the job for me

Loretta - posted on 01/21/2010

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Lol i was on bedrest through my pregnancy but when i did go out i wore a shirt that said ...TWIN BOYS!!

As far as after i had them, Of course people ask question's, they are curious and sometimes excited.

People's favorite was always and still is 12 yrs later, are they twins?

Just smile answer and walk really fast lol

Once i had an 80 yr old woman chase me down in walgreens to tell me the story of her twin sisters who never slept at the same time lol.

[deleted account]

I have a set of identical twon boys of which I dressed alike when they were small and people where constantly asking are they twins. They are 15 now and still look identical and people still come up and ask are they twins, No duh they just look exactly alike and have the same birthday..... it can sure get old after awhile

Renea - posted on 01/20/2010

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I was grocery shopping with my then b/g 1yr twins and 5yr old girl (2yrs and 6yrs now) when a lady stated omg I would hate to be you!!!! Granted the trolley was huge and very difficult to steer, but honestly . . . . .. rude enough! My other faq is oh so she is the outgoing one or oh so he is the moody one, it really upsets me to have my children constantly judged and pidgeon holed. Without fail at least once a week someone will ask are they identical, double trouble, gee you certainly have your hands full or are they twins? Makes me laugh everytime, I don't mind so much about those innocent comments I think people are just amazed by the whole multiple birth situation and I feel really lucky to have an insiders veiw. I just hate when someone says something down right rude about my children and I don't think of a good response until I get home!!!

Karen - posted on 01/20/2010

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The one that gets me the most is the old saying "double trouble". I dislike that comment so much. My twins are just about as good as any singleton, if not even better. I say I am twice blessed. I get twice the joy in every moment and I wouldn't change that for the world. I guess I probably would think a little differently if I had had any children before these two, but I didn't. Their grandma says it's easier with two than one, I don't know about that, but she does have other singleton grandchildren she takes care of.

Pauline - posted on 01/20/2010

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People usually felt bad for me, "oh you have your hands full" or "that must be so hard." What annoyed me the most is when people would say things like "at least you got it done all at once" when I wanted more kids (and now have four total plus full custody of a step-daughter.) Now my twins are such different sizes and look completely opposite people think three of my kids are just stair-steppers and comments about that annoy me even more "do you know what causes that?" so sick of that one.

Sarah - posted on 01/20/2010

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Like everyone else I hate "were they natural?" whether you are referring to fertility or vaginal delivery, its my coochie, not your business! But I must say I TRULY HATE "Oh I had it even worse, mine were 10/12/18 months apart! " No, lady, sorry. I had my 3rd and 4th right away, and yes its hard, but NOT THE SAME and NOT harder. And now, with four boys, I get way too much of "Have you figured out that happens yet?" to which I respond " Yes, and we have it just about perfected!" I do not mind, however, "Wow you are a busy lady!" especially when it comes with a skipped place in line or a door held for us :-) I am, in fact, a busy lady!

Jennifer - posted on 01/19/2010

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my twin boys are almost 3 and MOST people FINALLY stopped asking if they're twins. That was the most common question. Some ignorant people asked if they were identical (one has blonde hair and the other has brown) next came "Do twins run in your family?" and of course " Oh, Bless your heart!!" Not to mention " HOW DO YOU DO IT?"

Brandi - posted on 01/19/2010

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my 2 favorites were twins what fun. I had a boy and a girl. every body would ask if they were both boys or both girls. I just got to the piont I would say nope both boys just dress one in pink and put its hair up. it ussually shut them them up really fast

Meridith - posted on 01/19/2010

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I always loved it when people asked me if I got pregnant naturally or had to have help. It is funny when people ask if they are twins, I have a boy/girl set. People were asking me this when they were tiny babies. I just wanted to say no I had one and waited a couple months and had the other one.

Liz - posted on 01/14/2010

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I also love...Does it get easier????? HELLO......if you had kids you would know it never gets easier!

Liz - posted on 01/14/2010

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right when I started feeling better and like I could run a marathon, I was put on bed rest for 6 weeks. It was a nightmare. I got in here really late but wanted to post that the worst thing anyone has ever said to me what "better twins than a disease." How ignorant can someone be? Another good one is "how do you do it?" Like I have a choice! You just do, and do, and do and pray, and pray, and pray...........

Carol - posted on 01/14/2010

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I was at church and big as a house with my girls, don't know how far I had to go before delivery but one lady looks at me and asks, "You haven't had those babies yet?". Wanted to slap her to Kingdom Come.

Lauren - posted on 01/13/2010

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I'm only 18 wks and I am already tired of: "Do twins run in your family?" "You didn't use IVF, did you?" "Wow-you're huge!" "Man-you're getting big!"/"Well, haven't you just blossomed!" Yeah, that's kinda how this whole thing works. The further along you get, the bigger you get. Sigh.

Betsy - posted on 01/11/2010

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I always get the "Bless your heart" or "You have your hands full comment", but we also have 5 kids. Our twins are 2, then we have a 3 yr old, plus a 12 yr old and a 19 yr old. So between having 3 boys in a year that are so young, plus having kids up to college age, we get those comments a lot. along with "Are you crazy or a saint?"



The funniest, most ignorant question was from a woman in a checkout line. She asked if any were twins. I said which were and that our older son was a year older. She asked how old one of the twins were. I said 1 at the time, then she asked how old the other was.

Michelle - posted on 01/10/2010

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I have had:

are they identical? - no 1 boy, 1 girl

did you have IVF? - quite a personal question

do twins run in your family? - they do now.

what is the age gap? - 1 minute

you have your hands full



Michelle :)

[deleted account]

I have 7 month old b/g twins. I have gotten many of the same questions as the other people here. The one thing that annoyed me the most when I was pregnant was when people would ask me, "How big are they going to let you get?!?" My answer became "That's between me and my doctor!" unless I was in a bad mood. Then I would say,"That's none of your d*** business!" Another one that really annoyed me when I was pregnant was that someone told me that she would kill herself if she was pregnant with twins. I just said, "Well, it's a good thing God gave them to me and not you!" After the babies were born, we constantly get the question, "Are they twins?" Most of the time, I just smile and say yes, realizing that people are just interested and trying to make conversation. My husband is not so patient. He gets mad because it takes us twice as long to grocery shop because everyone has to stop and look and talk to them. So when he's along and we get the question if they are twins, he says,"One's my wife's (pointing at me) and one's my girlfriend's." People give us the weirdest look and just walk away. One lady said the me, "Are they twins?" Then seeing the pink and blue blankets, she said, "Oh, never mind, it's a boy and a girl." Ummm, ok. We always get asked if they are identical. I usually just say, "No, one's a boy and one's a girl." One lady said to me, "Well, I can see THAT, but are they identical?" I told her, "No, he has blonde hair, Hers is dark." She accepted that answer! Again, my husband, not so nice. When people ask him if they are identical, he says,"No, one's got a penis, one's got a vagina." People tend to walk away at that one, too!

Justine - posted on 01/10/2010

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I was walking with my friend with the girls in the stroller and someone asked if they were twins - we said, no we could only afford one stroller between us, so we got a double one and always went walking together!

Gill - posted on 01/10/2010

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Oh i get that all the time not only that but they ask if i had ivf....Mind your own ffs!



Are they identical? No, Are you sure?!? Yes i think so!



You really have your hands full ( i have a 2 year old also)



How do you cope?! Well I just do?!



The List really is endless!

Julie - posted on 01/10/2010

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The silliest thing I had heard after having my twins..boy/girl..Are they Identical??? Pardon!!!!. Further on in their lives people used to compare them and that really irritated them, especially in school..Oh! whya ren't you good like your brother or how come your sister is so good at sport and your'e not..Excuse me, they may have been born on the same day and within 2 mins of each other and yes they ARE twins but they are also individuals.

Shawna - posted on 01/09/2010

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Quoting shawna:

1.how do you tell them apart? um they look different
2.12 year gap between kids IVF? noneya business
3.Are they twins?.......duh?
4.does that thing(tandem stroller) have powerstearing? nope couldn't afford that model spent all our extra money on diapers and formula.
5.do twins run in your family or your husbands? i think i'm the one with the eggs?? besides don't most families have twins..see #6
6.my grandma's sisters nephew etc. had a set of twins..triplets..
7.was it your generation to have twins?... see #6
8.double trouble.....and this means what?
9.better you than me..... better me than you.... you have no idea what your missing
10.are they indentical? nope is anything truely identical?
11. do they sleep at the same time?... are you for real, they are babies hello thats all they do! when they are not being daipered,fed, bathed,dressed,entertained or soothed.
12.why didn't you name them alike?..is that a requirement?



13."i had two children less than a year apart, thats just like having twins"
      .....  um no it;s not,



one time on a trip to Wal-Mart we put a sign on the double stroller as follows:

YES WE ARE TWINS!!
PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH US!
IT IS FLU SEASON
OUR PARENTS HAVEN'T SLEPT FOR MONTHS AS IT IS



 



as toddlers



1. you sure have your hands full. .....yeah so is the laundry basket



2.how do you potty train two? ......the concept doesn't change



3.do they eat alot?.......does any toddler take more than two bites of anything?



4.terrible two's X2= not really they learned to share in the womb it isn't an issue



5. are you ready for another set?....bring it on if i can do this i can do anything



 



as preschooler's



1. bet you can't wait till they're in school so you can save the daycare fee....... oh yeah that will save me $$$...... lunch moneyX2 enrollmentX2 sports fee'sX2 school suppliesX2



2.are these both your children? ....why what did they do?



3.which one is older? ...does it matter?



4. they are both 4?how? ---when a mommy and daddy love each other very much...



5. do they fight?----did you fight with your siblings?



 



kindergarten



1.will they be in separate classrooms?-----most parents don't realize they have a choice



2.which one is the smart one?-----obviously not the person asking



3.which one is the leader?-----depends on the day



 



grade school



ok i haven't gotten that far yet so please feel free to enlighten me



 



 





 

Darcel - posted on 01/09/2010

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Okay, I'll make this short. But I have Twin girls and when they were born, one was 3lbs 9 ounces and the other was 5lbs 4ounces so people would comment on the difference and ask if they were twins. Also, I have Fraternal twins and they look way different from each other. One has black hair and dark brown eyes and skin tone like mine. My other daughter has reddish brown hair and greyish blue eyes and looks caucasion and I am black and so is my husband, it just so happened that both of our great grand mothers are mississippi creo or french and have blue and green eyes. So our daughter has the resessive gene. So I'm constantly asked, Are they Twins? Where they born at the same time? Is there dad Caucasion? Do they have the same daddy? Am I babysitting some else's kid? all kinds of rediculous questions and on top of that, I have two doctors for my daughters because one feels incompetent on giving advice on what to do with african american hair and skin. But I don't care what others have to say, I love my babies, I think there georgeous and I love that I had twins and I hope the have twin boys next time around. Good luck on your Thesis and This was an interesting Topic.

Becky - posted on 01/09/2010

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I have twins who are now nearly 4 years old - a boy and a girl - and it still astounds me that when people find out that they are twins then ask if they are identical?!!!!! Also, when I was pregnant, a parent of twins in my eldest daughter's class at school actually offered me commiserations! Yes, she was serious! We feel really blessed to have had twins. And yes it was extremely hard in the begining and you do wonder if you areever going to get any sleep ever again - but I wouldn't swop it for anything.

Michele - posted on 01/09/2010

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For me, it seems people were truly delighted! A lot of people told me that I was "lucky". But almost everyone asked me, "do twins run in your family?"

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