When should I put my twin girls in seperate classrooms at school?

Casey - posted on 02/10/2012

My boys arent twins. My son and my boyfriends son are only 2 weeks apart. They are in the same class now but only in pre-school. They tend the stick together. My son is a social butterfly where as my boyfriends son isnt and tend to hang around and play with my son. I dont want them to grow up thinking they have to be together. With that said I am requesting separate classrooms when they enter kindergarten next year. I hope this helps you out.

Kim - posted on 02/09/2012

We have two sets up twins in our grade and the parents requested in kindergarten that they be split

Lucie - posted on 02/07/2012

I have 4 year old twin boys who are fraternal. In Kindy the boys were together, and they had a great time, they weren't dependant on each other, but people referred tho them as 'the twins', or just called them a name in hope it was the right one, so the teacher and I thought that separating them would help them to be recognised for who they are. So they started pre-primary and have been split up, and I am beginning to think this may have been a mistake. They are both finding the classroom part of school fine, and are bright boys. But they are finding it really difficult socially. Together they have the confidence to just go and play with other kids, but alone they find the initial friend making really hard. I am so torn as what to do. I don't want to do something that affects there self esteem or confidence, but yet want them to develop as separate individuals. Any tips would be great.

Janine - posted on 10/06/2011

My twins although fraternal will be starting school soon. They are boy girl and for me I think I can risk putting them in the same class together without being dependant upon each other as at child care they really have thier own friends anyway. My mother in law has twin sons who are very close and she did infact separate them for much your own issues. They might have felt a little detachment in the beginning but they of course still have lunch time to meet up and spend their afternoons and nights together. I think maybe it is a good idea to atleast trial it... sooner or later it will be natural for them to go their own ways with certain things. If your or they arent comfortable with the idea, then trial it again at a later time. They arent babies anymore so maybe ask them what they would like to do... try and discuss with them some positives about being in different classes and the fact that they are still going to see each other at breaks. Best of luck, hope it helps a little x

Kami - posted on 01/11/2010

My 12 YO twins (Boy/Girl) were very close so we decided to let them be in Kinder together. We decided to seperate them in 1st because my daughter is the more dominant of the two and I didn't want her brother to be dependant on her.

They did great and were actually placed in the same class last year (6th Grade), they hated it. They are now so different and independant from each other. They have their own circle of friends and dinner discussions are more productive since they have different things to share, because they are not living the same life. It's been that way since 1st grade.

I think seperation is a good thing especially if one is more dependent on the other. It's hard the first year, but for my family it paid off big time. They still had other activities they shared outside of school. Them spending time together is important too.

Lynn - posted on 01/10/2010

Hi... I had exactly the same worry with my identical twin girls and they are twelve now.... I had been unsure of what 2 do when they started primary and had spoke 2 the teachers and friend who had twins for advice - it really was mixed... Some had kept them 2gether, others decided 2 separate them, so I really was unsure of what 2 do.. I kept them 2gether, but by the time they got 2 P6, I once again spoke 2 their teacher, as I felt that one of the girls was constantly living in the other's shadow and I really felt like she needed 2 grow in2 her own person (do u understand that??).. I fellt that she needed 2 branch out and show her own qualities, as I felt she always felt like Chelsea was the clever twin, the one who always had the most friends, the best personality etc etc.. Anyway, we went ahead, but I was really apprehensive... It has been mixed - she certainly came along in leaps and bounds workwise, but as all of her friends had been 2gether since P1 in the class Courtney was shifted 2, she found it very difficult 2 try 2 make friends as they already had their groups.... So it has its advantages, but it has its downsides.... Have I gone on a bit??!! Sorry.... They are now in S1 in High School and all classes are mixed up now anyway, but Courtney (the twin I moved out of her regular class) I still feel finds it so difficult 2 make new friends and as they are in alot of classes 2gether again, she tends 2 just be friends with Chelseas friends (which causes quite a bit of arguments!!!!!)....

Krista - posted on 01/10/2010

I'm so glad someone agrees with me on this! My boys were only separated 1 year, in 2nd grade, because I though it would help one of them that was more dependent than the other. I guess it did in some ways, but the very next year they switched to a smaller school due to a move and they only have 1 classroom per grade. They do great! They are best friends, but do have some of their own friends. Now I wouldn't change it if I could! They will be in the same class until their 9th grade year!

Skaie - posted on 01/09/2010

Hi Jessie,

I am a twin (I have a twin brother), and we were in the same class from pre-school until 1st. They separated us at 2nd grade and it was a total distraction. I was always asking "where's my brother?" "what's he doing?" "when can I see him?". Honestly, I wasted a lot of time being distracted. Once they put us back together it was awesome. We were a team and always had someone to back us up or "be there" for each other. We finally separated in 6th grade, and by then, it was cool. There was no reason for us to be separated...we had lots of opportunity to socialize, but again, had a support system in place! That was pretty special and unique!

Alari - posted on 01/09/2010

Our school has left that decision up to us. My twin girls are in kindergarten and I plan on keeping them together as long as it benefits them. I f one excels above the other and it is best for them to be in a more advanced class I would not want them held back but unless it is causing a problem having them together than why separate them. At least they will always know someone in their class and have the other if they need a friend. I say it all depends on what is best for you're children they are all different and every scenario is also.

Dawn - posted on 01/09/2010

To all of the parents saying the school policy is they separate them. That is not true. They may say that but the truth is your preference should out weigh the school. We had 3 meeting with our teachers and principal. We got what we wanted, our girls in the same room. They tried to force the issue but we knew that it was the parents decision in the end. So stand up for what you want and don't let them tell you it is school policy. That is bull hockey.

Cindy - posted on 01/09/2010

When I enrolled my kids in kindergarten I requested my children be separated. This was in 1994, I heard stories about other twins an how one was always more out going then the other twin. I wanted them to each have their own friends and personality and be independant. It worked, I would highly reccommend to all parents of multiples.

Dev - posted on 01/09/2010

If you choose to separate them in second grade- they will get to have acedemic adventures of their own, then when they are together they can share those, and broaden their circle of friends. They will still have opportunities to reconnect during recessses, and the STILL live together!!! Separate classes, just might be a good time to have a scheduled break from each other. Hope this helps, D

Jenny - posted on 01/09/2010

My twins were separated right away when they started school. My son was very dependant on my daughter and would cry and wory that his Beffy as he called her was ok. The teacher would take him to her calss room and let him look though the window of the door at her then hewas fine. That didn't last long after that he was more independant and did better without her being with him all the time.

Karen - posted on 01/09/2010

I put my twin girls in separate classes in Kindergarten. One was very dependent on the other in preschool and after much agonizing I decided to split them up. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Kristi blossomed that year, and Kati seemed relieved not to have to make all the decisions for the 2 of them. I believe it helped their closeness. I was afraid they might get tired of each other if they didn't split up. They are 15 now, in tenth grade, and are closer than ever. They are best friends, but they have a larger group of friends since each has made new friends and introduced them to her sister.Of course, every child is different, and this may not be the best for your girls. Most schools will work with you if you separate them then later decide it's not working and want to make a change. I also talked with their pre-school teacher to get her input. You might consider talking to their first grade teacher. She is with them in the classroom setting, so she should have valuable insight. Most importantly, if you decide to separate them and are still anxious about it, try not to let them see that. If they sense that you are scared, they will be, too.

Sharon - posted on 01/07/2010

Hello Jessie.
My twins will be turning 6 this year and the teacher & I both insisted on seperating them. I have pigeon pair and little Angi is very dependant on her brother who thinks he knows everything :-). (Just joking.) I believe in the fact that they should develop, like any other normal child their age ...on their own and learn to grow individually and fight their own battles. They have all the time at home to be close where it is impossble to initiate this. As a family we all should be close and the seperation shouldn't affect their relationship negatively. They will realise the value of having breathing space and having me-time very soon and also will they then enjoy their limited time even more. Even though they are twins they are both seperate individuals and I feel very strong about developing their unique personalities. It might just be more difficult to do this as they grow older and more set in their ways. Hope you're convinced. Keep well.

Bronwyn - posted on 01/07/2010

hi my boys have been in the same class for pre-school, kindergarten and this year 1st class,, the school isn't big enough to split them and i am glad of that because i would not have, they are two totally differents personalities. they don't interact in class and rarely in the playground as they have seperat groups of friends, but they are aware of each other and if something happens to one the other knows. personal unless it is a real issue i would leave them together.

Debra - posted on 01/07/2010

My identical boys are in the 7th grade, and this is the first year they have had separate classes. My boys have been independent since kindergarten. It worked well for us because of homework etc. I wanted them to both have the same experience of either a great teacher or a not so great. One thing I noticed these past few years is they are great for each other. They remind each other what is due and they study together. They have been straight students for the last 2 years. I think it has helped them being together to study. Now in 7th grade they have a few classes together and the rest separate. They love it, but they still come back together to study. Every child and set of twins are different. My way is not necessarily the best way. It just worked for us. I always asked their teacher if they needed to be separated for the next year. Their teacher is a great guide. Good luck.

Lisa - posted on 01/06/2010

I separated mine in pre-k.....it was the best thing I EVER did for them! They finally started playing with other kids....made their own friends, and started to form their OWN identities! I highly recommend it early!

Malynda - posted on 01/06/2010

I SEPERATED MY TWIN BOYS FROM KINDERGARTEN ON .ONE WAS DOMINANT AND THE OTHER ONE WOULD NOT COMMUNICATE FOR HIMSELF IT TURNED OUT GREAT FOR BOTH OF THEM.

Sherri - posted on 01/06/2010

I have twins, they are now 27, but when they started school I had them put in their own rooms. For the same reason as you, I wanted them to have their own identity. They did great with it. To this day they are very close and protective of each other. But they are their own people too. Trust your instincts and they will be just fine.

Bridget - posted on 01/06/2010

I have boy/girl twins that are 11 now. I separated them in second grade because my daughter was the dominant personality. She would ask for my son to go to the bathroom. I have been very happy with that situation because I wanted them to have their own interests, personalities. My twins are very close now, even at 11.

Ros - posted on 01/06/2010

Well, Amanda, I reckon that from what you say about separating your twin boys, that it just goes to show that you have to do what feels right for your twins, and what feels right for one set of twins isn't always what would be right for another set.

Amanda - posted on 01/06/2010

Hi there!! As a mom of almost 19 year old twin boys, I must tell you that I went through the same thing. I can also say that the one of the best decisions I made was to seperate them. It made a world of difference in their dependence and personalities, its almost like that was what they needed to develope thier own character and independence. I hope this helps!!

Ros - posted on 01/06/2010

MY twin girls are now 22 years old. When they were tiny, when they first went to school the school fought to separate them, and I fought just as hard to keep them together! My girls always complimented and supported each other in everything they did. When they got to taking their 11+ exam, one passed and won a place to a girl's high school, and the other twin failed by 3 marks. We appealed but were only offered a place for one twin. They chose to stay together, so we turned down the place at the high school. They stayed together all the way through senior school, passed 8 GCSE's each, and A Levels in 3 subjects each. They then went on to University and both achieved BA'a, one a First with Honours, and the other twin a Second. I do not see any benefit to be gained in separating twins.

Sandy - posted on 01/05/2010

In my district they are not allowed to be in the same homeroom or class!! They are in high school now and it is still the same.

Lori - posted on 01/05/2010

i have 14 year olds boy and girl . up until grade 8 they were always in the same class . grades were good and they seemed to feed off of each other . always looking for each other and trying to do the same or better than the other. it was a compitition between them for the longest time. they got seperated in school because of grade 8 and 9 .semester system. took all of grade 8 for them to get back on track. they miss not being together. I hated every minute of them being seperate. but they seem to be managing just fine now.

Angela - posted on 01/05/2010

my twin girls started school in september of last yr, they had been together in nursery and i thought it would do them better to be in seperate classes. victoria was more outgoing and lauren was more shy, since splitting them up lauren has become more outgoing and independant rather than letting her sister take charge of things. it does them good to be seperate at school so there own personalities come out and so they have there own friends and identities. they still play with each other at break times when they want to.

Karen - posted on 01/05/2010

I also had one more dependant, which drove the other nuts sometimes. My girls are 12 now, but I seperated them in 3rd grade. I wanted them to be able to make friends on their own and learn to be their own person. Even with this, they still had problems. Neither one of them liked when one would be invited to a play-date or b-day party and the other wasn't. Even now they both sometimes have problems with that, except they each have a best friend that isn't friends with the other.

Michelle - posted on 01/05/2010

another problem that we incountered was birthday parties. most parents knew they were twins but some were either ignorant about the fact or just didnt know but if one would get invited to a party and the other didnt it was a fiasco between the 2 of them. especially at a younger age they just dont understand, now if one is invited and the other one isnt or doesnt want to go we do a special day with the one who stayed back.

Michelle - posted on 01/05/2010

Hi Jessie,
my identical boys were kepted together k and 1st grade. when it was time to go into 2nd the principle made them go into seperate classrooms. it worked okay for that year but when they got into 3rd and 4th it got harder and harder. they would have different homework, not studying the same things and if you are anything like me, i helped with all the homework while my dh went to work. it was very frustrating. my boys are now in 5th grade and pennsylvania passed a law that it is up to the parents to keep them to gether or seperate. so i decided to let them stay together their last year in elementary school. and it has worked out great, they both have their own sets of friends but also have friends together, if the girls are involved in any sports they will be around other children as well. ask them and see what their reaction would be, good luck!

Jeanne - posted on 01/05/2010

That's nice they let you I live in Indiana and when they start school here they will separate them which will actually be good for my twins as the older one likes to speak and do for the younger but they are fraternal.

Lisa - posted on 01/05/2010

I was adamant that my boy/girl twins be in the same classroom thinking that my son could keep my headstrong daughter in check-The teacher thought I was nuts-my well behaved son wanted to hang out with the boys and my daughter was an angel! I decided to separate them in first grade because they compared themselves to each other too much-getting discouraged if the other was better at something-and my daughter has an artistic flare and my son is a mathmetician-they thrived in separate enviroments!

Lori - posted on 01/04/2010

My fraternal twin sons were in Kindergarten together and then I separated them since one twin is more outgoing and the other one was/is dependent on the outgoing one. It made such a difference in their relationship because they couldn't wait to come home and talk to each other about what happened in their classroom, etc. It also helped with their competitiveness on academics too. They both shine individually in their 8th grade classes and can really be happy and encouraging for the other brother since they are not in each other's classes. They have had a few classes together in middle school, but it hasn't been too bad. The worst has been having a teacher pick a favorite and tell me that during conferences.

Carla - posted on 01/04/2010

My twins were in the same class thru 1st grade. It was fine until it became apparent that the boy was more dependent and was having a hard time finding his own way without her. It did help him to be on his own for while, but in the 5th grade we put them back in the same class so she could keep him in line. He finally learned to control to himself for the most part in middle school. Every year brings a new set of challenges.

Mary - posted on 01/04/2010

My twins are now 15 and are in the 10th grade. We separated them in first grade. The one was always talking for the other and it turned out that the one needed speech therapy. Now that they are in the10th grade, they have two classes together. It's great because usually the one will help the other.

Tanya - posted on 01/03/2010

My twins have been separated since kindergarten. The school doesnt let twins stay together. It actually was best for them.

Patricia - posted on 01/03/2010

hi my twin girls r starting school soon and the school and i sat down and thourght i would be great to separt them as soon as they start school so they can became inderpent but they will still do stuff together

Jacquie - posted on 01/03/2010

I was told by a boss of mine who had twins. The best advice I could take from him was keep them together. If one of them falls behind in school because they have a better or worse teacher it will make them feel bad. If they are thriving in school together keep it the same. Ask the advise of the teacher too. If they are identical they will be happier together.

Chrysa - posted on 01/03/2010

Hi Jessie,
We separated our girls in 3rd grade. We actually thought about doing this in the second grade, but when we found out which teacher would get them, we kept them together. The teacher had our older boys so we were familiar with her and her teaching style. She then helped us with their progress on individual levels. When they got to 3rd grade, they went to separate class but we asked for them to stay on the same track so they could eat lunch together, field trips, etc so that we could manage their schedules better. We haven't been as successful with that same "track" piece since they have gotten into higher grades... they are both doing great in school, each been part of student government, and earn their fare share of awards every year. I was concerned about separating them and what that would do to them being so close, but I think they really started to become more independent and didn't mind having their own circle of friends.

Megan - posted on 01/03/2010

Our twin boys were separated in Grade one and have really grown in confidence! Also it has made their relationship at home even better, ie they are happy to see each other at the end of the day and love sharing their different experiences. It has been a really positive thing for us!

Rachel - posted on 01/03/2010

We were a little anxious about this same issue, but we just went with the flow of letting the school determine which Kindergarten classrooms our twins (boy and girl) would be in this past Fall. They ended up being seperated, but good thing for our boy, who is much more dependent on his sister, there just happened to be a good friend of his in his classroom. Worked out perfect and he has come such a long way with his social skills in these past 3 months. Our twins get to see each other out on the playground for recess and passing each other in the hallways when on their way to gym, music, library, etc. After worrying so much over it before, I think it was definitely good for them to be seperated. Just like any relationship, you still need your own time and space to be yourself and I think it's no different for siblings. :)

Laura - posted on 01/02/2010

My fraternal twins are now 10 years old. They went through 2 years of pre-school and kindergarten together. They were separated in 1st grade, and it was the best thing I could have done for them. One is more advanced in academics than the other and that had put a lot of in classroom pressure on the other. Sure, they seek each other out during the day, but they are able to be individuals in the classroom, which is so beneficial to them.

Heather - posted on 01/02/2010

We are putting ours in different rooms in Kindergarten because they are 3 1/2 years old and are in speech because of language delays. They have "twin talk" their own language and nobody understands it. Their teacher has also told me that my oldest daughter has been hurting my younger one at school so my hubby and I both agreed that as soon as they are able, they are going to be in different classrooms. They shared a womb and now a room, they need their own identity and time away from each other.

Amy - posted on 01/02/2010

I am seperate my Boy/Girl twins in Kindergarten next year! The only reason I didn't do it in Preschool is because I didn't want to keep driving back and fourth....I think it will be hard for them but it needs to be done eventually....

Rosemary - posted on 01/02/2010

Much like Michaela's post, our school district didn't give us the option. My twin boys have always been in separate classes. It has worked out well, though in the last couple of years one has been pining more to be in the same class as his brother. They have been in the same "specials" in the past. "Specials" are classes such as Art, Reading, PE that are not considered as part of the "regular" class room. And that proved disastrous; so much so they asked me to sit in on a class for me to see how they behaved and if I could help. Yeah, the two of them together in a classroom setting...bad. My boys are much like an old married couple, in that they will fight and scrap and bicker with each other all day long but they know they can't live without each other. Usually by morning I find them in either of their beds all cuddled up or both on the floor holding hands. A tidbit I will use later in their lives to embarrass them with future girlfriends. But scholastically, one has been stronger than the other in respective subjects and I feel that being separate in school has helped them tremendously. They are fiercely competitive with each other and having them both in the same class would be ugly. They are now in 5th grade and both flourishing. You know your children best. My suggestion is to try it for a year and if it doesn't work out and your school district isn't as strict as others, put them back together.

Julie - posted on 01/02/2010

i separated my twin girls starting in the 1st grade, it helped each find themselves and new friends, i feel they get enough time together when they are at home. They are now in 3rd grade and they are fine bring separate at school.

Aja - posted on 01/02/2010

I have twin boys and they were in kindergarden together, but after that I put them in separate classrooms just because they are at home together all the time and I thought it would be good for them to have sometime apart and make there own friends.

Kimberly - posted on 01/02/2010

my twins are fraternal and they wanted seperate classes when they were in Kindergarten and every since and they are in 2nd grade now. Kimberly Martin

Veronica - posted on 01/02/2010

Mine girl's are like that and they are in Kindergarten. They have their own friends. But on the other hand they are friends with all the same people

Veronica - posted on 01/02/2010

I have twin girl's and they are in Kindergarten. When they started Pre-school they wanted to be in separate classes so we let them be in separate classes, But when Kindergarten rolled around they wanted to be in the same class, but the school told them they didn't allow it because it would be better if they were in separate classes because they think they would benefit better that way. And so far my girl's are doing great in separate classes. The only funny thing is, is they both come home with different friends but they are friends with all of them. Kids in eachothers classes and all. So really, for mine it's almost like they are in the same class but they're not. It will probably be hard on you at first, but they will get used to it and they will find out it is really good for them. The school decided for me, but this is a hard decision for you