When Should I separate my Boy/Girl twins

Rachel - posted on 10/08/2010 ( 36 moms have responded )

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My b/g twins are 2 1/2, and they are great friends. Does anyone have any suggestions of when I should put them in seperate bedrooms? We do try to do invidual activities with them, but they still share a room. I don't want this causing issues later on, but I don't think that it's harming them now.

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Sayani - posted on 09/16/2013

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I'm 16 and I have a twin brother. We had been separated since I was 2. We don't ever talk to each other. And, I don't know why. It's been like that since all the years I've known him. I do love him a lot, but I'm not able to bring myself to tell him that I do. I don't know if he thinks the same about me, too. In any case we're living as if the other isn't present.
This has been paining me a lot, and specially because we're in different schools, have very different beliefs, plus people say I'm more intelligent and I'm more mature that he is. But this is not really so. I'm his twin and I know exactly what he feels, I can feel what he thinks. I know he's way intelligent than I am, and I can feel it, too I don't know why.
Once a new girl who enrolled in my maths tuition said he and I have got the same type of eyes (the area around the eyes) . I was kind of surprised because I had never mentioned that I have a twin brother.

The point is, we've never been able to reconcile. I've also noticed that he's avoiding any contact with me: yesterday when i went up to his room to borrow a book on trig, he just brought it down from the shelf and put it down on the table. I think he did this because he didn't want our hands to touch or something.

I really don't know what's happening. Is this a fault of mine? Or is it that I'm being weird?

Please help. This hurts freakin lot.

Evelyn - posted on 10/17/2010

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I have b/g twins that are going on 13. They had separate bedrooms from the time they were 5 on but my son would often times be found sleeping on the floor in his sisters room right beside her bed. This went on until they were nearly 10. They will separate themselves eventually but there is a bond that is special just because they are twins.

Quilty - posted on 10/15/2010

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My b/g twins shared a room until they were 9. Even though they had bunk beds, they both slept in the bottom bunk, at opposite ends. (Just like they were in utero!)



I think the main reason they gave up sleeping together was that they got so tall they were kicking each other in the face at night!



I let them decide when it was time. That way, neither one felt pressured into something they didn't want.

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I have 6 year old twins that have been in the same room since birth. We have always said that we will seperate them when they ask to be seperated. We have a 3 year old child who is a girl and 6 months ago had another baby girl. Our twins decided when I was pregnant that they wanted to seperate so they could have a "girl room and a boy room" since they were convinced the baby should be a boy, hahaha. They did waffle on the decision once we had the baby and they discovered it was a girl. The first week was a little tough, since our son was suddenly all alone for the first time ever. He now LOVES the silence at bedtime. It was sad for me to see them seperate but since they made the decision I wasvery supportive. I would have had no issues with them sharing a room throughout their teenage years if they were still wanting to.

Iridescent - posted on 10/09/2010

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We have an 11 year old and 9 year old boy, and our 3 year olds are 2 girls and a boy. We had the babies share a room until this spring (shortly after they turned 3). Our 3 year old son was very confused, certain he was a girl, and didn't like having a penis. He is developmentally delayed so it could be part of the issue, but you'd think being delayed he'd learn that later... We moved him in with the boys at that point and now he's finally aware he's a boy and he's very happy being one. Unless you're seeing signs of a problem, I wouldn't be concerned. If you are though, it's time to figure out a new arrangement, even if it includes a daybed in the livingroom.

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36 Comments

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Eli - posted on 04/19/2012

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My boy/girl twins have been in their separate rooms for a couple of months now. They're 15 months old. I had to separate them really early on because their sleeping habits were so different and they would wake each other up! This was the best thing for us, but I believe your should assess your own situation since all children are different. I know twins who share rooms up until their teen years!

Arlendria - posted on 10/19/2010

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I separated them at 2 year old because i changed them from a crib to regular beds. I had an older son so the boys shared a room and the girl had her own.

Adrianne - posted on 10/18/2010

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it will not cause any issues. my twins b/g who will be 8 in dec have been seperated when they started preschool. and i keep them in seperate classes that way i can see what they are learning whether one is stronger in one subject and vise versa that way they can help eachother good luck but dont be afraid!

Sophie - posted on 10/17/2010

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I have the same problem too. I started to separate them when they turned three years old. But still they have slept in the same room with me until they were five(different side of me - my right and my left arm). Now, they are six yrs old, I have managed to 'make' them sleep in their own bedroom. It's hard, but time will help them slowly. I cannot really force them at early age, but now they have to live as an individual, not twins anymore. (Mine are a boy and a girl)

Adrianne - posted on 10/16/2010

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i have b/g twin also they will be 8 in december. my twins tattle on eachother like crazy, but when they were 2 1/2 they got a long well. i seperated mine when they were about 4. when school started so dont worry it wont harm them at all!

Rachel - posted on 10/16/2010

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Thanks everyone for all of the responses. We don't have much room to seperate them now, but we are looking to buy a house within the next year or two. I was just concerned about them being together for that much longer. Now that I've seen all these responses it really puts my mind a little more at ease.

Chantal - posted on 10/16/2010

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Hi, my b/g twins are 7 already and are still sharing a room and they doing just great. in my own opinion i think they should be separated by 10/11, don't rush it- diff. strokes for diff. folks!! good luck ;-)

Lorri - posted on 10/15/2010

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My b/g twins are 1 1/2 and in the same room. I almost separated them this summer but I couldn't. I enjoy hearing them talking to each other when they wake up. I remember having to share a room with my brother until I was 5. I didn't mind at all but I will probably move them to separate rooms before they turn 4.

Monique - posted on 10/15/2010

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I have boy/girl twins also. I separted them when they were 41/2. The first 2 nights were alittle difficult until the fell asleep. But they were find after that. I let the have a "sleep over" once a month in each others rooms

Kristen - posted on 10/15/2010

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I have b/g twins that will be 3 in December. They are still sharing a room and most likely will until they dont want to anymore. They love being together.

Witchypoo6730 - posted on 10/15/2010

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HI i seperated my twins in there own room when they was about that age and they was fine,also when i sent them to Nusery i had them put in different groups as i got to the stage where i was fed up with ppl classing them as one and wanted them to have different ppl to see they was different not just the twins

Adrian Yen - posted on 10/15/2010

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Mine are 3 in July and share a room. I don't see why to separate them as long as they're happy with each other. As long as they also hang out with other kids, they'll be fine. I believe when it's time, you'll know. Don't worry too much about "causing issues later on."

Sarah - posted on 10/15/2010

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We separated ours around that age and they adjusted quickly - in fact, separate rooms benefitted them both sleep-wise. If you're going to make a move and they are still in cribs, I recommend moving the cribs into the new rooms to let them get used to the solo-sleeping thing before changing up their entire sleeping areas as well.

DeAnna - posted on 10/15/2010

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I have B/G twins will be turned 12 in January and another son who will be 10 in a few weeks.....They were together in kindergarten and then separate until 4th grade. They have always had separate rooms which are across the hall from each other. In August this year I put them in different schools for other reasons. I wondered how this would affect them, after eleven weeks they do miss eachother but I've noticed when they get home they hang out together, wrestle talk and seem to really enjoy each others company. For the two years they were in class together they didn't play together at all and they argued about the day. The both have different perceptions of how the day went. My daughter really misses having her brothers in the same school, but alas he wasn't having as much fun as she was.

On Saturday while my son was on the sidelines waiting for his 10 plays for tackle football his twin sister was wearing his last year's jersey and she was hanging out with him. Which just makes my heart smile knowing how much they do love eachother. I am a blessed Mommy...

Abbigail - posted on 10/15/2010

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it not my boy/girl twin are going to be 6 year old and they still like share room

Tina - posted on 10/15/2010

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My b/g twins are 11 and still share the same room. My b/b twins are 17 and they shared a room up until they were 13 or 14 I think. Issue for us is room - we're out of bedrooms - more than likely they (b/g twins) will continue to share for a couple more years until one or both of my older twin boys are out of the house.

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Well my twins are gonna be 25 in Jan 2011 and are still BestFriends. I believe she was in the 6th grade when she got her own room. They are still close and wouldn't have it any other way.

Cara - posted on 10/15/2010

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I have 2 1/2 year old b/g twins and they have been in separate rooms since they were 1. My daughter at the time was keeping my son up during nap time so I moved her crib into the spare room and they have had no problems with this. And now that my son sleeps in a big bed for the last 6 months I don't see when we can move them back together as he does not always go down to sleep very well and having them separated allows for them to go to sleep and wake up on their own schedule. I would love to have a spare room again, but don't see it happening!

Kisha - posted on 10/15/2010

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I have b/g twins they are 2 1/2. They are definately not ready to be split. They cry if the other is not where they can see one another. I agree with Suzanne Faulkner, I am leaving them together until they ask for their own space. They enjoy each other imensely. I have a 13 year old son also so far their is no problems.

Crystal - posted on 10/15/2010

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Hi Rachel, I have b/g twins as well and I think it's up to you on how long. You know them. We slip our up 2 moth after they turned 3 and all is well, they will b 4 Nov 1. There rooms are across the hall from 1 another and they run back and fourths from room to room so it's really all on you. They still take a bath together, how do I stop that? lol... they don't wann b n the tub by themselves. Am I wrong for that? Are they to big now...lol and I know it's not funny. Where is the rule/handbook?

Suzanne - posted on 10/15/2010

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I'm keeping mine together until they ask for their own space! we have the room to seperate them, and we tried moving them into different rooms when we moved to big kid beds at 20 months...that sure didn't work. They still really needed to be together. I figure once they're making their own friends, and have more of their own interests is when they'll probably want their own space.

Sandy - posted on 10/15/2010

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My b/g twins are 7 years old and shared a bedroom until they were 6. We live in a 3 bedroom house and we were using the 3rd bedroom as a toy room/guest room. But my daughter was waking my son up in the morning instead of letting him sleep (she is an early riser) so we decided to move my son into his own bedroom and got rid of the toy room/guest room. It was hard the first couple of nights and my son asked to keep his door open at night. After about a week, they were fine. We would've kept them together if my daughter wasn't waking my son up all the time.

Angelina - posted on 10/15/2010

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Our boy / girl twins will be 2 on 1st December and are still in the same room, we are in a 3 bed house and have 2 older daughters who share a room. In the uk it is widely known that boys and girls should not be sharing once one of them reaches 7 yrs of age. Therefore we hope to move before then!! I hope that helps.

Jennifer - posted on 10/15/2010

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My b/g twins are 5 1/2 and they still share a room-they are in bunkbeds. They have a hard time sleeping apart, so they are still together. I'm thinking somewhere btwn 8-10 they'll need their privacy. Right now-they are fine.

Hope - posted on 10/15/2010

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My b/g twins are now 5 and we separated them when they each went into "big kid" beds, they were about 3. We talked to a lot of people about it including thier doctors and they all it was a matter of our choice. We asked them what they wanted and they like sleeping in thier own rooms now. On occassion they want to sleep together and even at 5 years old we allow it.

Anne-Marie - posted on 10/15/2010

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We split our b/g twins when they were 7 - after we moved to a larger house. No problem at all. They liked the company and it was normal for them. If you don't see a problem with it, go for it!

Polly - posted on 10/15/2010

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Hi Rachel,
I also had b/g twins. they went to Pre-Kindergarten at 4 and the school separated them I think that was good because it gave them different friends and made them each stand up on there own. then we moved when they were in Kindergarten and for the last 2 months they were put together. then all through elementary they were in different classes. See what works for your kids. Mine also slept in the same room till they were about 7 or so. My daughter had a hard time sleeping by herself at first. My are 20 now and we are out of the US for our second year and our twins are living in our house and doing a great job. My son takes care of the out side and my daughter does the inside. I am so proud of them. Polly

Amanda - posted on 10/15/2010

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I have two boys aged 9 and 14 and twin girls and there is no way they are ready to be seperated, they are 5, I have fought to keep them in the same class, even though they are twins they are completly different individuals, and have different interests, so their learning isnt hindered in the slightest by them being together, I actually feel it assists in better learning, although my friend also has twin girls the same age and they have been in their own rooms for 3 years and are also in different classes, I think you know your children better than anyone and you will know what time is best for any type of seperation between them, you could always try it and see how they get on, if they pine for the comfort of each other at night, then put them back together, one things is not to push the issue if they dont want it, at the end of the day they are still very young. Trust in your own instinct as their mother and it will all work out for the best, Take care Amanda xx

Kelleigh - posted on 10/08/2010

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I have B/G twins that are now 16 and they shared a room until they were 8 ( 2nd grade), they had a sister who is 12 years older and needed to have her own space, When she moved out that is when they got seperate rooms. Being together that long had absolutly no negative effects on them, they have always been very close and love hanging out together, once they got seperate rooms many times I would find my son sleeping on his old bunkbed in his sissy's room. They are happy well adjusted teenages and still really great friends, so it worked out well for us.

Liz - posted on 10/08/2010

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I have a set of b/g twins who will be two and a half in december. We also have a son who will be three months on the 12th of this month. Right now we are living in a two bedroom apartment, so when our youngest starts sleeping the night he is going to be moving into the room with his brother and sister. Once we move into a bigger place though ( Once we find one in the area) , we are going to give our daughter her own room, and have our sons share a room.

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