What is your unschooling technique for brushing teeth?

Kathy - posted on 04/07/2010

Yes the child should have freedom to make responsible choices. But it is also our job as parent to teach and model certain life skills.

While almost everything my children do is their choice there are some things that are non-negotiable. Like wearing a seatbelt, wearing weather appropriate clothes, looking before crossing the street, at least tasting vegetables. And these non-negotiable tasks are explained to the children (starting from the first complaint at the earliest possible age) so that they understand why there is no choice here.

Things like household chores are not a big problem either because it is understood that EVERYBODY in the family pitches in so that we can have a safe, clean, and comfortable home TOGETHER.

Monique - posted on 02/03/2009

Well for me unschooling does NOT mean the kids get to do what ever, whenever they want.  It means as a family we make decisions together.  It has to work for everyone in the family or it doesn't fly.

Dental issues are so serious and expensive at our house that it is on par with running out into the street for me.  Brushing is NOT a choice.  How the brushing is done IS a choice

My children have inherited my teeth - small, dark, soft, large nerve cavity and small tooth with imperfect dentin/enamel ... really a recipe for disaster!  They go to the dentist at the first sign of eruption.  Often teeth are capped by the time the child is three.  Seeing the dentist and having work done at such an early age is a good backdrop for talking about this.

We lead by example.  Every one has a multitude of cool toothbrushes (we even have blinking brushes) to use.  Each child has a colorful eggtimer to use to time their brushing.  Kids get the choice of us or them brushing first.  We make fun out of it.  It is a game to see which child reminds the adults it is time to brush.

As a family and completely away from brushing time we talk about how serious it is.  There are natural consequences but we as a family have come up with other consequences for not cooperating when it is time to brush teeth.  We all know these consequences.  They are swiftly engaged when needed.  With three kids I have only ever needed to engage them ONCE.

This is one of the issues we are not so unschooling about and I am not sorry.  How they dress in the winter.  What they eat on their dinner plate.  What we learn together.  Who we play with.  What we do or do not do.  These are things I am perfectly happy to follow their lead.  Dental issues I lead on.

-MoniqueWS

Teresa - posted on 02/03/2009

Depends on their ages. With my 2 1/2 year old, it's easy - I lead by example and we do it together. With my older children who have not been living a consensual or unschooled lifestyle, I simply tell them they only have to brush the teeth they want to keep :) Seriously, though, if someone is struggling with this, they need to figure out how to make it a positive choice rather than a do-or-die struggle. My kids love playing "beat the clock" kind of games that challenge them, so we've sometimes set a timer for 30 seconds to see who can brush for the WHOLE 30 seconds while covering the most tooth area, or we hum the ABC's 3 times while brushing to ensure we're brushing long enough. Kids are much, much, much more willing to do ANYTHING if it's 1) Fun, 2) an adult is willing to do it alongside them. Much as any adult will bristle at being COMMANDED to do something, a child will do the same. "Making" or "telling" them to go brush is never going to get a cheerful, happy to comply attitude from any person. However, saying, "Let's go brush together" and making it a loving, fun, family moment will surely accomplish the goal. My kids laugh when I tell them to just brush the ones they want to keep - humor will lighten any load :)