Anybody else going through this?

Leyla - posted on 03/04/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have a 5 month old daughter and my partners mother had a baby 2 months after me.

Cutting a long story short, everytime my little girl does something new or is ill or anything to do with my little girl, she claims her son does, for example my little girl can hold her head up very good, which she would usually reply "oh yes my little 1 can do that aswell" or My little girl was very ill the other day which she then has to copy and make out to every body her little boy is ill too (10 times worse). Im getting abit sick of this now and its with every mortal thing i do shes had it worse or better. I cant say anything without looking like a spoilt child! But i just want my little girl to have the praise she deserves or the attention without her always stealing the spotlight onto her boy! This woman lies about illnesses she never has for example last year she said she suffered pre-eclampsia but when we went to the hospital the midwife asked if theirs any pregnancy complications which she replied "no" to surely you would mention you had pre-eclampsia shes a born liar its only me and my partner that sees this! (this is tyhe reason why i know she is lying about her son doing all these things)

somebody please help me it will be worse for my daughter when she is able to understand that no matter what she does "james" will be able to do it better surely this will put pressure onto her.

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4 Comments

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Jennifer Nicole - posted on 10/29/2012

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Let her know how you feel.



Tell her this is no game or a competition. This is your life!

Karen - posted on 04/26/2012

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Shes a habitual "one upper". I have met a few of those moms. It's gotta be much worse being that she is your child's grandparent and does this. Too self absorbed to appreciate her grandbaby's milestones.



It's annoying, and you probably can't do much about it other than roll your eyes. That's probably the most frustrating part. How do you confront someone who is one upping you constantly? You could say it, but the defense will most likely be "you are just jealous!"



I lived next to someone who used to do this to me constantly. Her son was a little older, so if I announced a milestone, of coarse her son did it much sooner. Her son also napped for 3 hours a day on top of 12 hours of sleep at night, according to her. He was done with "your baby can read" by 3 months old because he was bored with it LMAO!



Just shake your head, roll your eyes... Some people have nothing else in life but to try and be better than everyone else.

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Praise your daughter lots, which will help her self esteem/confidence as she grows up.



It could be as simple as your partner's Mum being jealous that her son has got a child of her own while she is bringing up her youngest child. She may not have been ready to accept the role of being a grandparent, while she still wants/wanted more children of her own.



When she says that 'James' is doing x, y or z, acknowledge it then move on to another topic. Try not to make it a competition between you and her on who can bring up their child the best way or to be the best. Your daughter and 'James' will work it out for themselves.



Let your daughter have lots of praise from you, your partner and your family. If possible reduce the contact between his Mum and yourselves to an acceptable level that you three can tolerate, but without alienating his Mum.

Ashleigh - posted on 03/05/2012

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communication is the key. more so to ur daughter then anyone else, be honest and let her know that she wont always be as great as everyone else (inc. james). the point is that she does her best for herself and that u and ur partner acknowledge that. always praise her and give her compliments on what she does even if there tiny, that way she gets a boost of confidence and self esteem. even at the youngest age, this is so important. it will go a long way and will boost her confidence, even if james can do it 10x better. talk with her when she gets older and help her to understand whats going on, its doesnt matter what the other people think of her, what matters is how she feels about herself and that she always remembers to love and respect herself!

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