Amanda - posted on 06/04/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )
Me and my ex had been together for 2 years and alot had had happened before I got pregnant . The problems were always onesided meaning comeing from him he could never just be a man. there was alot of baby mama drama who I later found out after we broke up was and still is his girfriend. drug use, drug traficking , violence,death threats, harrassing phone calls, even an overdose ( his girfriend OD while watching the children,* he ignored a court order when that happened*) and many more situations to count. He has two other children one he has joint custody , the other 2 he also has custody and one is not even his. I had always tried to be understanding and patient about his situation and was supportive as I could be. When i found out I was pregnant all he could think about was how it affected him and all the changes he had to make.He wanted me to get an abortion but I am Pro life , besides i was told I wouldnt have children. So instead he tried to get me to miss carry knowing I was high risk. I never saw him, he never called to check on me and when I finally ask him to do something he complained about it or decided to compare me to his girlfriend and how she didnt want this and crave this and didnt do this that way and gain this much weight until these many months. HE didnt want to tell his family or his kids he kept makeing excuses and pushing back the date we decided to tell them. So you can imagine I was at my breaking point . Then he really started showing his temper to the point where I started getting a little nervous because now I cant really protect and defend myself like I could before.... One day we got in an argument and he decided to tell me how much he was sick of my sh#! and my attitude .. yeah I know ... so I kicked him out my car and chaged my locks to my house but he still had my car car key but wasnt stupid enough to take it and I severed all communication with him..3 weeks went by and i kept my silence until i recieved a package in the mail from him for valentines day. He picked out a mushy card and and soem cheap anklet or bracelet he packed in a clear jewlery box than taped it close with packing tape why I do not know .I didnt even bother to open it but he had crossed out all the mushy crap and wrote NO in big black ink as that was suppose to hurt my feelings and wrote a letter telling me how childish and stuck up I am, i was raised wrong, it a shame I will never realize how immature i was to kick him out of my car since he had to wait an hour for a bus( it didnt occur to him to walk home and is it my fault hes 40 and doesnt have a car? and I do ), he is going to slash my tires and bust out all my windows, break into my house and break all those windows , i dont know anything about life, he wants his stuff out my house but he will not come and get it so he is keeping my key(knowing the boxes he left can cause me to miss carry because of the wieght), he gave me back my car key, how i am not going to deny him his parental rights, how I f#@% with the wrong person , blamed me for money missing out of his account ( even though I am not the one with the access to it but his live in girlfriend does), I am worse than his crakhead girlfriend, its over and what he does in his life is none of my business and then with his last sentence told me things will get very very very very violent believe him it will. I wanted to go to the cops but my dad talked me out of it since I lived 5 blocks from him and still do with no family around me he didnt want something to happen to me while I am pregnant plus he said it was empty threats but I still kept the letter for future reference. also had my dad put extra locks on doors and i am very mindful of my surroundings. I havent spoke to him since feb when i was 2 1/2 months pregnant. I told his family i was pregnant and they have been very supportive and very angry about the way he has been treating me because i havent done anything to him except not want to be with him anymore. and even then he didnt get the hint . I didnt respond to his threats or the letter like i usually do ,my mom said the worse thing for a man is to be ignored and that is what I did. my son will not have his last name, he will not be on the birthcertifcate he will not even be allowed in the hospital when i go into labor .I really dont even want to call his family because i know they will call him. they have been pushing him to be in my sons life and i dont want him to be. he has a family already and besides he lied to me for two years, hes threaten me and my son since he is still inside me, hes got me for money and furniture and clothing etc.... he trashed my jeep on the inside along with my breaks which cost $350 to get completely replaced. I found out about his violent tendencies through his family after we broke up his own cousin is afraid for her life and so is his aunt and uncle that raised him. when he doesnt get his way he vandalizes property or gets violent. His one aunt is suprised he hasnt hit me. his kids are medicated because he cant deal with them they all have failed kindegarten or first grade, getting kicked out of schools, suspended for fighting and dislocating a teachers finger, the kids have watched there mother overdose and had to call 911 they have watched their mother stab their father and full blown fist fights, they sell drugs infront of the kids and my ex is suppose to be on recovery for 10 yrs which i think he has fell off the wagon or whatever you call it. I havent seen or spoken to him but all my friends see him all the time telling me how depressed , unhappy he looks. he knows his fam checks on me and how i am doing and he doesnt ask cause he doesnt care i dont even think he knows he is having a boy or his name ( i changed it since we decided when we were together). I have kept a record of all his behavior in a notebook along with the letter but i am very worried that my child will be exposed to that enviroment.I am not even going for child support cause he wont work and i dont want him to be a part of his life. I know one day he will sneak over and see the baby but there are alot of things i want to get straight before he stepd foot in my house for instance he will never ever be left alone with my son, my son is not allowed over his house , there are only certain designated places he can see my son if he doesnt want to see me etc.... i am just worried hell take my son from me but everyone keeps telling me that he wont be around except when its convenient for him but I just dont know I am dealing with a very unpredicatable person that might be using again. What do I do ???any advice or comments would be extremely helpful and appreciated!!!!!!