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Feel unworthful

Ashley M. - posted on 07/27/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

Ok, this is something that I need to vent out, it's something I wasn't proud of of what happened but I can't stand this on how it went out to be.

This morning, I had my 5 and half month old son with me in bed as I finished nursing and usually after his morning nurse he falls back asleep and I would go back to sleep. Within minutes goes by, both fiance and I heard a thud and my son was on the floor. Sure enough he had rolled off the bed. (the bed wasn't that high) My fiance had the nerve to yell at me telling me it's MY fault and literally freaked out because our son was on the floor. Not long ago, he had saw our son trying to get out of his playpen( just by reaching his arm up and trying to lift himself up while laying on his tummy.) the bed was set in the middle of the playpen) I was told to remove it and set it low down on the playpen. I didn't do anything about it because I know he wouldn't get himself out just yet as he is now learning to move, roll his body. So, I get the lecture saying that I was delibrating making this happen and was wanting to have our son kill and i'm not taking respondilbes and i don't care..blah blah and that I didn't do what I was told to remove the top part and etc etc. I said it was an accident and he said it was no accident. (I was thinking accident from rolling off the bed, and he was thinking the kid got out of the playpen) so I yelled thanks for making me feel like an HUGE dick and walked away. I came back realizing maybe he didn't know the baby was on the bed so I came back and said, " by the way, the baby was right next to me on the bed" We haven't said a word to each other this morning. I'm tired of him making me feel like a biggest unuseful peice of junk. instead of lashing out because the baby fell on the floor, stop and see if the baby is fine and ask where did he fall from n then go from there. Jeesh!

(I tend to have bad grammer and I hope this somewhat makes sense in a way

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Shayna - posted on 10/08/2012

My babe also fell out of the bed i think he was like 6 or 7 months at the time. I was dead asleep and woke up to him crying on the floor,l i felt horrible but i mean it happens! kids are like rubber, he probablly was more startled that actually hurt. and theres going to be tons of instances where the baby gets hurt, just because you live and learn. It could have been your fiance's fault just as easy as it was yours, you just have the baby more. I think a lot of new parents run into dealing with their feelings about the kids...just try to be understanding of he's protective of the baby and he cares he just doesnt know how to express it. a new baby can be stressful for everyone, there was a lot of hurt feelings dealing with the baby in our house too. you're not alone!

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Sandie - posted on 08/02/2012

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If I've got this right, he thinks your baby fell out of the play pen but he actually fell out of your bed?
My son fell out of my bed when he was 10months old, it was the same sort of situation, I'd fed him and we had all gone back to sleep then we woke up to a thud and he was screaming on the floor. Don't feel bad about it, like you said, the bed's not that high so I doubt it was more than shock that would of made the little one cry. I'm sure most babies have rolled off something or been dropped or at least toppled over when learning to sit up so don't worry.
As for your man having a go at you about it, it's the last thing that's needed, first thought should be straight to the baby on the floor, then seriously does he really think you need to be lectured about it?!
My husband and I kind of share a look with each other if our little one hurts himself or if anything dangerous happens. For example, one day I forgot to shut the stair gate. There are 2 steps, then a mini square landing then the main flight of stairs, well we heard a bang and crying and I ran to him lying on the lil landing, but about to fall down the main stairs. Obviously I should of shut the gate and this could have been very dangerous but my husband didn't say a word, he knew he didn;t need to because I witnessed the accident and I've never forgotten to close it since.
That situation was 100% my fault and not a word was said to me about it, so for something to happen that wasn't your fault and not even the situation he thought it was he shouldn;t be laying into you about it. Plus at 5months old I doubt he could pull himself out of a playpen for a while yet anyway lol.
Men tend to over react, maybe later when you're both calm chat about it, but remember that one day he will do something that results in a small accident or a bumped head or something, and you must remain calm and unjudgemental too! :)