Help Please!!!!!

Serene - posted on 01/09/2011 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have a 7 month old daughter and she is my world, her and her 2 year old brother...... Her biological father a sperm donor, yes a sperm donor started denying her when i told him i was pregnant and didn't want to continue our fling... So, i was cool with him not being there through out my pregnancy and the birth of our daughter, i didn't care..... and still don't care....

But, am i wrong for not wanting to get a DNA test and I had blocked him from my contacts because apparantley I don't want anything to do with him. He had threatend that he was going to take me to court and get full custody of our daughter and he started accussing me of sellling drugs.....WHAT THE HECK!!!!!!!!! SELLING DRUGS!!!!!!! I am so pissed off right now..... Where is he coming up with this info????? Its redicolous. He got his family texting me telling me to take him to court for a DNA test and they are harrassing me, and then he runs his mouth tooo....... I got tired of it.....I never one time asked for a DNA test because I don't want him in her life....IF I did i would of had him come to the hospital when i had her.....I would of gave him the info that he needed. But, he and his family wont leave me alone. Has anyone been in this situation before? If so what did you do? I'm thinking about a restraining order.....:-(

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Melinda - posted on 01/10/2011

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First off he cannot sue you for custody if he is not on the birth cert. Change your phone number. When he calls or texts write down the date and time. You can get a dna test at your local pharmacy. Go to the police and tell them about your ex. Get a protective order from the courts. His mouth will ge thim into trouble.

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Christina - posted on 02/11/2011

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Change your phone number, and move on. If he really wanted to be a father, he wouldn't be being nasty to you. So next time he calls/texts, tell him the kid isn't his and then change your number.

KELLIKAYZ - posted on 02/10/2011

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YOU CAN GET A RESTRAINING ORDER FOR YOURSELF BUT UNFORTUNATELY YOU WILL HAVE TO GET A DNA TEST ONE DAY. SHE WILL EVENTUALLY WANT TO KNOW WHO HER FATHER IS. I KNOW IT IS HARD WHEN HE IS ACTING SO UGLY AND CHILDISHLY BUT YOU HAVE TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON, IF NOT FOR YOURSELF THEN FOR YOUR CHILD. IF YOU ARE NOT SELLING DRUGS THEN HONEY HE CAN TALK ALL HE WANTS. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO PROVE TO HIM ON THAT NOTE. THE COURTS DO NOT GO BY HE SAY SHE SAY TESTIMONY AND THEY ARE NOT INCLINED TO TAKE CHILDREN FROM THE MOTHER WITHOUT A VERY GOOD REASON AND A LOT OF PROOF. BOTTOM LINE, AS HARD AS IT IS YOU MUST BE THE BIGGER PERSON BECAUSE WHEN YOU GET UPSET AND REACT AS THOUGH YOU ARE UPSET, HE WINS AND HE MAINTAINS CONTROL OVER YOU. YOU ARE TOO POWERFUL FOR THAT, YOU ARE A MOMMY!!! STAY STRONG AND FOCUSED IT WILL GET BETTER....BUT GET THE DNA TEST HONEY. IT WILL HAPPEN EVENTUALLY AND THIS WAY YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN ON YOUR TERMS.

Annmarie - posted on 02/02/2011

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I empathize with you and have a bit of advice. Bottom line is that if he is the biological father any court will allow him some sort of visitation or custody. You could spend Years and thousands of dollars fighting him and he still has the legal right to the child. He can even petition the court to force the DNA testing. The courts only concern is that the child gets exposure to both parents as long as there is no physical evidence of abuse against the child, and even then it will be tricky. good luck and pick your battles wisely

Marissa - posted on 01/24/2011

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I'm going through a similar situation. I have a 4 month old and her biological father is ALSO a sperm donor. He's never wanted much to do with her, he doesn't call and check on her. All he tries to get me to do is go drop her off with him and leave. He is a COMPLETE STRANGER to her. I'm not just going to drop my baby off with someone. I hardly let anyone watch her and if i do it's my sister, sister in law, or boyfriend that lives with me, and my mom. And it's only to go to the grocery store or something or when i have a ton of school work to do. (I'm a high school senior and all of my classes are online.) Last week he filed a civil lawsuit against me, i don't know for what. I haven't got papers served to me yet, and he won't respond when i ask what it's for. He's threatened me with court plenty of times, he denied her the whole pregnancy, so did his mom. She kicked him out of the house when he came to the hospital to see her. It's been nothing but hell ever since. and NOW he wants to try? It's nothing more than to get back at me because i didn't want to take him back when he begged for me back, he LEFT ME when i was 4 1/2 months pregnant and wouldn't talk to me till 4 days before i was due to have her! He wants a DNA test so he can get rights. He's been arrested and put in a mental hospital for anger problems, but it was when he was 17, he's 18 years old now so it's sealed. :( He doesn't have a job, a vehicle, OR a stable place to live. He doesn't pay me anything, he's only bought her diapers twice in her little life, and now he wants to take ME to court bc i won't go drop her off?!? It's VERY frustrating! But if he's harassing you, i would get a protection order, for you and your child's safety. If he doesn't stop, then file for restraining order, and take it to court. Hope this helps! Message me any time. I also need friends to talk to now!

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You need to a get a PPO. Keep track of the things he is saying & doing. Because if he wants to he can get his own DNA test from the court & have his name put on the birth certificate. Then it's a whole different story. It will be he said she said & you will need proof he isn't fit. If you have a PPO, you will show cause that he is unstable & shouldn't be around your child. Make sure to note that he hasn't given any financial support either. If he does for a DNA test & wants to claim he is a caring father. Then you can bring up, how he hasn't been there & hasn't given you anything for the baby. Also I would suggest not having any conversations with him. Tell him to go through the courts. He probably won't take the time to go down there & go through the process of court. Also I believe he would have to pay for the DNA test. He won't get full custody but watch your back, & don't trust his family either. Best of luck to you, sounds like you made the right choice keeping him out of your child's life.

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