I need Advice!

Megan - posted on 07/15/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My sons father can visit him every other Sunday. (due to the court ruling) And he has 2 pay child support through the state. But the state hasn't gotten around in getting the money 2 me. And my sons father hasn't bothered giving me money (till i get it from state) for a month. Should I allow him to see my son?

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Bethany - posted on 07/28/2010

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I don't know about other states, but in Texas, if the court has ruled that the father is allowed visitation, you can't refuse. Visitation & paying child support are not tied together...they are independent of each other. You should look in your paperwork...ours specifically states that even if the other parent is delinquent in child support, we can't refuse visitation. If you fear for the safety of your child, you CAN refuse visitation but you also have to go back to court & prove why you don't think the other parent should have any visitation at all. Best of luck!

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Christina - posted on 10/31/2010

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Yes. Child support and visitation are two separate orders, and if you refuse him visitation, you can be held in contempt of court and COULD lose custody of your son. What your ex does not realize is that he now has back child support to pay. He is correct not giving you any money, because it won't be counted towards his support. He should be sending it in to Domestic Relations so he does not get behind and then it can be processed as child support.

Lisa - posted on 10/06/2010

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This answers what i wanted to ask. January i left my ex, its now october, in september we were finally handed the court papers for custody and im on a benefit (i get child support paid to me at current whether the ex pays or doesnt) looking at a job and i found out the ex hasnt paid his child support from january when i left, SOOO any money he pays (wont be until november apparently) i wont get cause it has to be back dated to the GOVT first. sucks for me that he is a slacker and didnt do it. If i had known i wouldnt of let my son go to him at all !

Martha - posted on 10/06/2010

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You actually have no choice but to allow the father to visit with his son. That's what the court orders are all about. They are legally binding on both of you - there will be penalty assessed to him for lack of payment, but the bigger burden lays on you as the custodial parent. Like it or not, child support or no, you are required by the custoday agreement to make your son available to the father at specific dates and times. Failure to comply with that will only hurt YOU, and ultimately your son. It won't do him any good if mommy is in jail for violating a court order. Read your agreement again, and check out your state's regulations regarding support and payment (or lack thereof). Good luck.

Kori - posted on 07/26/2010

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I have beeen in this position and since it was a court ruled visitation you have to still let your son go (plus you will be the better person for it) The state usually takes a while to collect (sometimes up to 6 months) plus if your son is close to his dad you are going to end up hurting him in the end if you choose not to let him see his dad.

[deleted account]

Wow that def. puts a different spin on things!! You son sounds like he is better off without seeing him. And his dad probably won't show up for his sunday visits anyways. you should keep track of that so when you want his rights taken away you have proof he isn't reliable. And if his ex-wife doesn't like you she prob. won't treat your son well so if there is a chance he would bring your son around her then I say no way. I hope it all works out for you & your son.

Megan - posted on 07/16/2010

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He has 3 other kids.He is unemployed! My son doesnt even know who he is! And he is still see his x-wife and sees her. She has threatened me and harassed me! and i dont want my son 2 be near that. Thats why they dont see my son that often!

[deleted account]

Though money is important, I don't think it's the only thing you should look at. Is he a good father? Does your son want to be with him? Keeping him connected to his son will help him want to support him. The state can get behind in giving you your child support, it doesn't mean he didn't pay it though.

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