Irritated with my Infant

Ashley - posted on 01/17/2011 ( 19 moms have responded )

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I wake up in the middle of the night to care for my 6 wk old baby girl and when she ends up fussing for an hour or just fussing in general I get irritated with her and I actually yell at her. I feel so bad and I get so upset at myself and with her and I hate it. Sometimes I regret getting pregnant and it hurts me because I love her so much. Anyone else feel this way or know what I can do

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Nicole - posted on 04/29/2011

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See, I love this! I love that you posted this in honesty and I love the honest replies you've gotten. All too often some mothers act like babies are all ponies and rainbows when sometimes they're not; and at that age, most times they're not. Most times the they are at their best when they are sleeping!! And as the mom of a new baby I've found that when you try to be honest about how you feel, people judge you and act like they want to call CAS on you. You learn very quickly to stay quiet and suffer in silence. That's the worse decision to make cause then you have no outlet and you will explode, especially with those post partum hormones in the mix. I went through the same thing with my daughter, she's almost 4 now and I'm still going through it! Felt the same way you did. Had to walk away from her so many times because I just got so overwhelmed with my frustration that I HAD to leave the room and take a moment to breathe or cry and compose myself so I could deal.
My advice to you is the same as the others. When you feel that frustration level rising to that pivotal, pass her to someone else and go do what you need to do to take care of you. If no one else is around, leave her in a safe place and walk away, collect yourself then come back. I don't know if this is your first baby, but believe me when I tell you this is a technique you will have to you throughout her life. It does get better though and it will. You are doing the best you can and the fact that you would post this and ask for help is evidence of how great a mom you are and how much you adore your child. So chin up soldier, this too will pass.

Betty - posted on 01/24/2011

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I understand the feeling. I have a little girl that is almost two and a husband that doesn't help out with her. I have some days where every little thing she does irritates me and I go to the bathroom turn on the bath tub run the sink and flush the toilet then yell. It relieves enough tention that I am able to go back to my daughter and not be so frustrated.

Valerie - posted on 04/29/2011

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for sure you need to stop yelling at her...if you find yourself getting upset then put baby down and go to the bathroom,outside or somewhere and yell, cry or whatever but NEVER IN FRONT OF THE BABY...SHE IS SENSING YOUR UNEASINESS...it will get better...you will do fine...find someone to talk to, get some support, take naps during the day when she does to help your energy...i am sure that you are not alone nor should you feel all alone...i wish you all the best

Lacye - posted on 04/29/2011

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Have you talked to somebody about this? It could be that you are suffering from post-partem depression. You might want to go to a doctor and talk to him or her about it.

KELLIKAYZ - posted on 02/10/2011

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SWEETIE, THIS IS COMPLETELY NORMAL. AND JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY ARE OLDER THEY WILL STILL "IRRITATE" YOU, AND WE WILL THEM. BOTTOM LINE IS YOU DON'T REACT. MY BOYS ARE 18 AND 14 AND I MISS THE BABY DAYS, TRY TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND ENJOY EVERY MOMENT BECAUSE THEY GROW UP WAY TOO FAST. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!

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Megan - posted on 05/10/2011

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Lay your child down and go into the other room too cool off is what is recommended...how are you doing now

Theresa - posted on 05/01/2011

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Have you spoken to a doc about possible postpartum depression? I had that after my first son was born. i thought I was horrible because all I wanted was to be a mother and now that I was I wasn't happy. Hormones are also out of whack still form pregnancy and birth. I think a lot of mother's feel that way in the beginning. the most important thing is to make sure you never take it out on the baby. Walk away, or go wake someone and ask for help. I think they'd rather be woken up then for you to get too frustrated and do something in the heat of the moment that could hurt your baby. I bet if you talked to your fiance's mother about how you're feeling she'd understand and probably tell you how she's been there too. Sometimes it just helps to tell other how you're feeling and have them acknowledge that they understand. I wish there would have been a site like this when I had my first. there were so many times that I felt like a horrible mother. Now that I've talked to more mothers and read things on here I see that many of the feeling I had that made me feel so isolated are the same feeling most mothers have.

Sylvia - posted on 05/01/2011

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Remember to breathe and just take a moment to get a hold of your emotions. If you let her cry to compose your self its fine...hey I have heard the saying "they're not crying blood"

Bridget - posted on 04/28/2011

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i have so been there my kids are five four and two now but i remember doing that when they were newborns it can get frustrating sometimes what i would do is just leave the room and count to ten take a few deep breaths and try again to soothe them cause they can tell when you are upset and it will just upset them even more

Shanna - posted on 04/01/2011

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When you first get up make sure everything is ok with her she is not hungry, she doesn't need changing etc. if everything is ok and she is safe, comfortably warm, no red flags. You are allowed to take a breather. Walk again recover. Yelling makes her more upset anxious and fussy.

Jessica - posted on 03/24/2011

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Take a break when you need to. Letting her cry in the crib for a few minutes won't hurt her while you take a couple of minutes to get it back together in a room where you can't hear her too well. Just don't leave her crying for too long. Also, make sure you can tell your baby's cries apart from pain and clingy. Join some parenting support groups. They might help. I feel this way sometimes too. I think every parent does at one point. Its important to have support at home too. The baby's father, your father, your mother, in laws, whatever. You should have a break from baby at least 5 minutes a night and an another 1-4 hours once a week.

Mirjana - posted on 02/10/2011

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I also go through the exact same thing. It doesnt mean anything other than that you are completely human

Brianna - posted on 02/03/2011

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Getting stressed is normal. I always liked the advice to put them down and walk away to calm down. Go in another room and scream, cry, punch something... whatever you need to do to calm yourself down, and then go reassess the situation.

I still do this, and my daughter is 4. =]

Dawn - posted on 02/02/2011

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Its all normal it doesn't mean you are a bad mom!!! I go through the same thing with my 21 month old you just have to walk away and breathe or wake someone up so they can step in for a moment so you can cool down!!! Hang in there it does get better!!!!

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I totally understand this feeling! When my first son was born I was so frustrated with him. He would cry & cry and I would cry & cry. The only thing that worked for him was putting him in the swing. Even then he would cry for 20 minutes and eventually fall asleep. I had to put him in the family room & walk away from him. Remember if they are feed & changed & in a safe place it's ok to let them cry for a bit so you can get yourself together. Even now on my 3rd child I have to put him in his crib & let him cry and just walk away. Just always remember that is the only way she has to communicate with you. She isn't doing it on purpose. Getting frustrated doesn't mean you don't love her or that your a bad mom. And serioulsy if you feel you are getting too mad, wake some one up. They will understand. It will get better, hang in there :)

Ashley - posted on 01/19/2011

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I have my fiance and I live with his family and I've been living with them for 6 1/2 yrs. His mother is awesome, she helps me all the time but I dont bother anyone in the middle of the night and thats the worst time for me I get so frustrated and I hate myself for it so sometime I take a walk around the house and it works but other times my hormones just take over.

Krystal - posted on 01/19/2011

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i went though the same thing. i learn to sit him down wake away breath cry yell all away from my son. and it seem to work.

Christy - posted on 01/19/2011

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If you feel the need to yell at her, put her down and go in the other room. Count backwards from 10, 20, 100, whatever is needed to calm yourself and regain some patience with her. Babies know when others are upset, even at 6 weeks old. If she senses you are stressed, it is going to make her cry more. Remember, they don't stay little forever and grow up.

Do you have a support system? Father? Your own family? Father's family? Friends? Church? Any of these things can help you whether it be emotionally, or assisting with the baby when you need a little time to yourself, etc. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Your baby can't help what she is doing.

Remember, too your hormones are all over the place and it will take time for them to get back to normal. Be as patient as you can be. Maybe a counselor can help, too.

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