is your partner,boyfriend,husband...whatever addicted to video games?how do you deal?

Brandi - posted on 04/16/2009 ( 24 moms have responded )

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i hate x box! it feels like that is all my boyfriend cares about. we have a one month old daughter and she is bottle feed. and instead of washing any bottle he has to play stupid x box! And he has the nerve to tell me that i have to take her all the time because hee feels uncomfortable to be alone with her! To make matters worst he ants to have another one asap!please tell me what you do i need help with my sanity with this situation...thank you

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Anon - posted on 01/07/2014

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Have any of you thought to ask why he plays his games a lot? I mean from what I have seen they are using it as a way to escape the reality of life and they dont become addicted to the games they became addicted to not having to worry about money not having to worry about bills not having to worry about food and water. Most of the time when someone plays games all day is because yes they are fun but they want to get away they need a break, If you show them that spending time with you is just as enjoyable and not constantly going do this do that you will probably have a better time and he will probably stop playing games as much. You may not realise but a lot of the time what you classify as spending time together is you telling the male what to do, so instead how about just sit down watch a movie you both like just take baby steps to getting him off his habit, and stop this, if your partners ever saw this it would hurt them to much, dont complain just take baby steps there not going to give it all up in a day it would drive them insane. So yeah go out and do things together watch a movie, not something that you want to watch something you both do make his life with you more enjoyable make him not worry about money or bills or anything and you will eventually get him off the games

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Sarah - posted on 03/12/2014

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I can relate to this. My husband play his PlayStation a lot. I have two children 1 is 2 and the other is 3 months, when I was pregnant with my oldest he said he didn't want to be like his dad, always on his game well that what he is doing. I really don't want my sons first memory to be is my dad played his game all day. If I ask him to take him out for the day he says he cant , or do some drawing or coloring with him he says its not his cup of tea. He won't even take him to the park. I find myself getting annoyed and angry and to make me more upset he tell me I need angry management classes. He is missing his son grow up. I'm lucky my parents help put a lot, sad but my son now calls my father dad, and to be honest he is more of a father figure to my kids. I just want my husband. Its effecting us and I'm losing love for him.

Rose - posted on 01/14/2014

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My husband will play for as long as 14hrs at a time. We have two kids and he has managed to ignore us and miss out on life. He has missed out on my daughters school concerts because he puts Skyrim as his first priority. I can understand playing for an hour or two but 14 is excessive. I guess he has an addictive personality. There is no hope for him or us. The Xbox 360 wins every time.

Jaclynn - posted on 01/07/2014

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I can relate 110%. I just got over a really ugly relationship and now I have been getting really close to my crush. We Skype everyday, or talk on the phone. Every single time we skype he is playing on his Ps3, this will last anywhere from 3-4 hours if not more. I feel like I have to battle for a few minutes of his complete undivided attention.

Keysha - posted on 10/22/2013

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well my husband plays pc games league of legions and war of warcraft. with his brother and best friend. he is in the military so he works from 5 to 5pm sometimes later. but it doesnt matter what time he gets home or what days he has off . he wakes up and checks his game that has been on all night .thax to stinking auto bot. then if he can come home for lunch he is playing his game. then after he gets done with work and comes home for the night he sits on the computer and plays the game. o wait he eats dinner and sometimes sometimes helps clean. its like being off his game for an hr is more like a month for him. o when he does watch a movie with me "rarely" he still constantly checks his game. i do everything for our girls he helps put the youngest to bed but then back on the game he goes. he is in the army and thats his way of taking care of his family

Jen - posted on 09/09/2013

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I hear ya! my husband is a gamer too! and let me tell you we have many fights regarding his game playing, and lack of help with our daughter, and housework duties! So we agreed he can play his games after our daughter is in bed, it was either that or I was going to cancel the internet - then no game playing what so ever!!!!!! All the bills are in my name, and I am in charge of paying bills so.....he agreed to help me out more with making dinner, cleaning up after dinner, bathing, laundry, playing with the munchkin etc.... and his playing has decreased a lot - he's too tired to game. Good luck :)

Amanda - posted on 08/22/2013

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Okay i have a 3 year old daughter and ive been with my boyfriend for 6 years now and im starting to get really anyed with his bs now. Because wen with fight he wont say a word n just play hes up intill 3am he works.n everything but hes almost 30 now their are times i want to.just leave n go bk to my country cause of this

Rachel - posted on 12/07/2012

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Yes, but then I can go into another room and have my alone time. We started a family game night and we all play video games together and sometimes board games. When my son was a baby, he loved watching daddy play video games. Now, your boyfriend feeling uncomfortable about being alone with the baby has nothing to do with the x-box; perhaps do you do everything for the baby and not let him help? Or tell him he's doing it wrong? Sometimes mom does this without realizing it. Hope this helps.

Kale - posted on 11/13/2012

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my man does nothing but play video games hes up until 3 in the morning then up at around 7 right back on them again.....he works in he evenings and hes on from morning up until he goes to work then as soon as he gets home. so my daughter and i hide upstairs away from his screaming at the games. so on days he doesnt work we are up here ALL day and night. i dont like him swearing and especially around the baby so we cant be around him when he plays them. ive told him he has to stop swearing but......,......its pointless....i have no idea what else to do....im really at a loss

Chantell - posted on 11/05/2012

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Yes! I feel you 100%!! My daughters father plays call of duty 90% of the time and would count that as spending time with us bc we were in the same room!! I wanted to break every game!!!

Jennifer Nicole - posted on 10/29/2012

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DONT have another kid. He's obviously NOT ready for another baby. Tell him he needs to start helping you around the house. She is his daughter to and just as much responsibility as yours. He better get comfortable! You could give him an option to help you or leave.



I would remove his hard drive and hide that shit. :-)

Karen - posted on 02/09/2012

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We were both addicted to Warcraft before our daughter came along. I quit first, he kept playing a while. He quit, then we both went back.



I had to officially quit when my daughter started to crawl. I could no longer play the game because it took too much focus. He played for a couple months after I quit, then he was done too. It just wasn't as much fun without me awww!



Thats because we pwned face together.



Gonna be honest ladies! Gaming is better than partying! Its better than a lot of things he could be doing. I do get the point though, moderation is key.

Myia - posted on 02/08/2012

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IDK MY husband is a gamer hes not afraid to admit it at first i was irritated that all he does is play videos games but as i watched him i started to understand he plays video games when hes frustrated it helps when hes angry its therapy the way i see IF YOU CANT BEAT EM JOIN EM. so i started playing video games with him and guess what NOW IM ADDICTED.

Christa - posted on 01/29/2012

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I am so sorry! This sittuation totally sucks! My daughters father pulled that, and now she has little to no relationship with him :( I am pregnant again and have told dad that if he want to be involved with baby he will limit himself to 2 hours a day. If he cant do that I plan to singe mom the two, I've done it once already. I'm a straight up b***h when it comes to this stuff, if he wants a baby he needs to step up and take responsibility. You don't have to be cruel but if you have things you expect from him you have to tell him- some men you have to be a little more blunt.

Example1: "Get off your lazy butt now or I'm taking a bat to your xbox"...be prepared to follow through with this - not sure if I would recommend it but his computer did go missing for 3 days to my parents (had them sneak it off in the middle of the night) he was mad but got the point.

Example2: While stepping between he and the screen "I really need your help around here. You can either turn that off and watch the baby while I do dishes/laundry/errands/etc. OR I'll watch the baby and you can do the list of things that need to be done"

Melinda - posted on 01/12/2012

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Take the games, remotes, everything and hide them until he steps up to help you...if he does not step up he does not get the x-box back.

Kittie - posted on 12/03/2011

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I know EXACTLY what you girls are feeling....i have been married to my husband for 5 years, and i tell you what...the first year of our marriage i had a miscarriage he was in the national guards at the time and he was supposed to report to drill for that month, instead he told his NCO about my situation, his NCO said take the time you need...so i thought hey what a good husband...ya right!!!!!!!! while i was in pain from having my child removed from me and crying for him, where do u think he was....thats right playing video games in the next room...and thats where he stayed for 3 days...then when our son gabriel was born, that night he went over to my brothers house to play playstation...before my son was born he put us so far into debt with pay day loans because he would buy a console, not pay bills, then have to take out a pay day loan to cover the bills, then he would have to sell his console to pay the payday loan, and this continued for a year...when my son was born we had nothing for him, and when i say nothing i mean NOTHING!!!... my dad bought everything i could possibly need for my child...to make things possibly even more frustrating he is a OTR(over the road) truck driver...and someone who only comes home ONCE a month, and in that 3 days that we have together, he is playing is damn x-box...he has forgotten to feed our son numerous of times,left him in a diaper where i had to scrub to get the poop off of him, that was me playing the i will leave.my son with his dad and he will take the responabilityof caring for him for 2 hours...my loves him to death and thinks his dad walks on water... and thats how it should be...and i have made it that way...i dont want my son to see what his father is...an ADDICT!!!as for my husband and i...im tired of being married and being alone, ignored,treated like crap, un loved, and down right neglected!!!!!!! thats why after 5 years of total BS!!!! im leaving my loving husband...im not afraid to be alone, im alone being married to him now....to the woman of this problem with there men....dont take there crap...if your happiness and your childrens is worth more to you, then to be with a man who wont give you the time of day, or a glance your way, and says your the nag and a B!! then get out while you can...its not worth it..i have wasted 5 years of my precious life to a man that wont even fight for me from leaving him, the only precious thing i got from our marriage was my son....dont make the same mistakes i have made...

Vera - posted on 03/31/2011

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I'm mean... I took the cords, controllers, and games and hid them they haven't been touched in like 2 years! That was for the 360 and PS3.

Trudy - posted on 03/30/2011

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have read all these posts and only tonight have i had to have the conversation of im feeling neglected because he loves his game play on the station too much , ok he switched it off but only in a strop there was no reasoning with him , i dont think he,ll ever grow up and really id prefer it maybe if i didnt have to speak to the back of his head every night , or have to watch what i say to him because of course he has his headset on talkin to his geeky mates i miss being spoken to .. instead he talks to these nerds he doesnt even know ... sad really i find it all rather immature ...

?? - posted on 06/24/2009

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My boyfriend is the same as Amie said... he's got em all. Xbox, playstation, wii, gamecube, super nintendo, nintendo, psp, not to mention PC games and my sole video gamer-ness... my pink DS lite. I had to put rules down. He spent more time playing World of Warcraft with the guys that he works with than he did with me and our son...



He would come home - start the game - make dinner - play the game while he ate and then also for the rest of the night until he went to bed. And he played with the guys he works with as well... so his entire day would be talking to these bozo's about this stupid game and everything we did do together he would apply the game to it or it to the game.



I was fed up and I told him nope I'm not havin it. He got to choose, the game or us - that is where it was at with that game - he wasn't spending time with us anyways so I figured why should we bother to be around when he has 5 minutes when he wouldn't make 5 minutes for us anyways.



Now... he plays on the weekend at night after Gabriel is asleep but only if I am busy doing something else and in the morning on the weekends before Gabriel wakes up and I am still in bed. I get to sleep in on the weekends and he gets to play his game and then when Gabriel wakes up, if I'm still sleeping, he watches our son and lets me keep sleeping!



I literally had to threaten to leave though for him to listen. I told him I wanted to have a relationship with HIM not the back of his head while he sat in his computer chair.



Now we do play some games together though, mario kart, viva pinata is fun for kids, as well as the wii has lots of fun games that we play together and are pretty active. But as far as his games go, he rarely plays them and when he does he asks if there's anything we would like to do first.

Laura - posted on 06/04/2009

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im in the same boat my boyfriend is costantly playing on his ps2 hes on it all night and sleeps all day then complains hes tired when i wake him. he doesnt help with the kids he only cleans when i get really mad at him.

Rabaab - posted on 05/06/2009

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i know what you mean, but Amie is right, men never grow up/. U see men try to get out of doing all that stuff washing bottles etc. my hubby plays games or even watches tv, leaving me to do all of that..

Katie - posted on 04/30/2009

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My hubby is addicted to World of Warcraft, which is played online. Through this game, he is able to talk to some close friends and family who live in other states. Surprisingly, he is able to network through this game. To make sure he spends time with my daughter and I, we started having "family time" on weekends and a few weekday evenings. He can play his game when he gets home from work, before family time. He usually takes our daughter and holds her so she can watch the characters run and jump around while I get supper fixed up. The only complaint I have it that she eventually gets bored and falls asleep and he lets her sleep instead of keeping her awake, which causes her to stay awake later and not sleep through the night.

Fae - posted on 04/24/2009

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I ask him to include the baby- while I don't think she should be watching much tv or playing vid games at 15 months, she loves music, dancing, and watching kids dance! I got my hubby a Wii for his birthday- I know, I'm an enabler- but he also uses vid games to de-stress. So far, he only has the sports stuff, so I ask him to teach Anna how to swing a "bat" and stuff. She loves sharing that time with him and sometimes pretends she's playing when the console is off. I'm not too worried about too much gaming for her b/c she only does it to get our attention- she usually chooses something more entertaining like her duck hand puppet or her stuffed dog within 30-60 seconds.

When Anna was younger, he actually wasn't playing much! I'd tell my hubby about our day and tell him how he could help. He was really receptive to that and really likes spending time w/her... My husband is the type of person that I can ask if we need to allot gaming time so that he can help w/ Anna, or I can ask him to play after he helps.

Amie - posted on 04/17/2009

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Ah you gotta love men. I don't think they ever really grow up. =)

My hubby LOVES his video games. He has them all, right back to the vintage ones. However I had to set rules down. He wants to act like a child I will treat him like one. He's only allowed to play at night, when the kids are in bed. He can play during the day sometimes with our older ones but only age appropriate games and only for an hour with them. =) He's done pretty good by this since I threatened to sell them all if he didn't smarten up.

As for him not being comfortable, psht! The only way he will learn to be comfortable is if he takes an active role. Do not even discuss a second until he's comfortable with the first. It'll just make things worse. Try small trips at first, going to the store to pick up milk and extras you need, leave him for a half hour - hour and then start leaving for longer periods. Take your cell phone and be prepared for a lot of calls at first. lol. My own hubby was terrified he'd do something wrong but he learned he can handle it.

We have 4 kids now and he has no problem watching them, mostly because again I gave him no choice. He's dad, he can do his part too. =) Tonight is a great example. I left him alone with our toddler and newborn for 2 1/2 hours with a bottle of pumped milk in case newborn woke up. The house was standing and no one was hurt or insane when I got back. LOL!

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