mother in law

Z - posted on 01/31/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

ok so the wierd thing is shes not even living with us anymore and she still haunts me. how do i get her out of my system? we lived together for a year and a half...starting with when i was pregnant and then till my baby was 11 months old. ill try and keep it short but they were the toughest months ive ever had in my life. in the beginning i went in with best of intentions and plans and thought it wud work out great, silly me. was really naive about the whole thing...expecting it to be good. she was controlling, obsessive, compulsive, paranoid, fidgety, nervous, restless and pessimistic. and my husband was away all day for work even her husband whose been used to her for 30 odd years used to get some respite but i was just trapped. she wouldnt let me enter the kitchen cuz she thought i shouldnt do any work...when i was pregnant cuz it would tire me and even after the kid cuz i had so much else to do. but basically its becuz she was a control freak and didnt want anyone messin up her kitchen. ok u can do this if u r a guest in someone house but u cant be livin in a place which is meant to be ur own home and not be able to take out a plate and heat ur ur own dinner or wash ur own plate when ur done or anything. ontop of that she had to disagree with everything i did with my baby, if i underwrapped her she felt my baby was cold if i wrapped her more she felt my baby was hot. she tortured me mentally and continues till now, about my breastfeeding. just cuz she didnt do it she thinks its bizarre that i do. she would also never let me talk to the house staff. we live ina country where it is normal to have cooks and cleaners and nannies even, but ive never had one to help me throughout because she would just drive them away with her pickiness and her obsessive cleanliness. and because she thought me and the cleaner were conspiring against her cuz she once overheard one of them complaining to me about her overbearing behaviour. since then no maid was allowed to come to the upper part of the house where i lived. and i had to manage everything myself. which in a country like ours, isnt easy. also all my meals were dependant on her, sometimes there wouldnt be anything cooked and my father in law had to get a sandwich from the store cuz i was dying of hunger. other days if i wanted somethin and the cook was there to make it she would say do u really want it or wud u rather have a sandwich which meant take the sandwich silly girl cuz i just got the kitchen washed and dont want it to be dirtied cuz of u.

i had no place in that house, nothing got done the way i would have liekd or wanted or desired. i lost all sense of self worth and esteem. i couldt entertain in that house cuz she is obsessive about entertaining guests and cannot let them relax therefore they stopped visiting.

i have moved to anotehr city thankfully with my husband but unfortunately she has plans to move there too..getting her own place but still the idea of her in the same city sends shivers thru my body i feel like ill have a panic attack.oh and i havent mentioned that whenever she decided to throw an emotional fit she would say really nasty things about me, for e.g that she had heard so and so say that i was like this and that before i got married to her son. well why the hell did she pursue me to marry her son if she thought i was such a bitch?

just before we moved out of the house there was a nasty scene and she said some hurtful things that ill never forget or forgive. and she was also responsible for a theft that occured from my bedroom by a cleaning lady while i was out of the country. shes so obsessive about her own room and even bathroom that maids cant enter there without her but my room she doesnt give a shit when im not around. when i am around she used to follow the maid to the upper part of house even tho i could have supervised her.

shes turned me into a nutter. what do i do?ive become defensive, doubtful and cold because shes hurt and attacked me so many times.