normal feelings? almost 9 months pregnant..

Nicole - posted on 08/25/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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i've been feeling extremely disconnected from my boyfriend (baby daddy). he's absolutely amazing and treats me like a princess. no one has ever made me feel this good or made me feel so good about myself. he says he's never felt so strong about anyone either. but i've been having these ridiculous worries that he's going to cheat, or end up leaving after our daughter is born. i always ask him if he's sure this is what he wants, and he always says yes. i'm 20, he's 23. i get worried he's gonna wanna get back into his party life like he used to have, but he says he doesn't want that, he wants a family now. i'm not really so worried about myself getting hurt, it's more of our daughter when she's born. my father left when i was younger, and i know haylee wouldn't understand what was going on if he left, but i know it'd still have a huge effect on her when she gets older. i'm so confused and i feel like it's ruining our entire relationship. i've explained things to him and he's constantly reassuring me he wouldn't do these things, but it's like it's not enough. he's always saying "you have nothing to worry about" but i do. he's everything to me and i've never felt like this about anyone before, but lately i feel like i'm drifting away. he doesn't feel that way at all, so i know it's me. he says things are fine with him, but i don't know. i don't wanna be lied to or anything like that. he says he's not nervous about the baby coming, but he's really excited. he has another child he doesn't see due to his ex moving across the country (she's literally a psycho from what i've heard from him and old friends who actually knew her). i'm just worried. i feel like i should leave before he does just so i'm not hurt as much...

also i've been feeling off about having the baby...
this is my first child, and i know there's supposed to be hormones, but like this? i keep having the thought that i'm not ready for this yet. i'll be 36 weeks in two days and my doctors are predicting that she's going to come earlier due to complications. i'm getting so nervous. i'm only 20, but i feel like i'm not ready to have a family so early. i feel like i'm throwing everything away. i mean i'm going to school and everything, but where will my social life go? i know it sounds selfish, but i'm so afraid. i sometimes fear that i wont be a good mother. i basically raised my nephew so it's not like i don't know what to do, but now i'm having my own. it's different now. i don't want to make a big mistake that will mess up her life. i'm going to have my own family now and i'm petrified...

i don't know what to do about either situations. with my boyfriend, i'm not sure if i should do something or just wait it out to see if it's just the hormones or if it's really just me. as for the baby, is this normal feelings? i never thought i'd feel like this. i love her already and i can't wait to see her, but i'm petrified.

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5 Comments

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Candice - posted on 09/06/2010

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you are SO not the only petrified new mom out there. And also not the only mom who thinks "oh bugger, there goes my social life". Life will be VERY different now...but it will be different in a good way. It may take time to see that (the first 6 months were the hardest for me) but watching that little creature grow and explore the world will be a miraculous experience. I am in awe every day.And your social life isn't "gone forever"...there are babysitters for a reason :)

Kelina - posted on 09/02/2010

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This is normal! Hormones are annoying things but they do quite down after baby is born. Take a deep breath, relax, and cross bridges when you come to them. Enjoy whats going on now. I know it's easier said than done, believe me i've been there.
Everyone makes mistakes. I know i've made plenty in my life and i'll make plenty more. We all do! Things are tough, situations are unexpected, but we get through life one day at a time. I'll never forget this syaing it got me through a lot. It goes : Everything will get better in the end. If it isn't better, it's not the end. Good luck and congratulations!

Kathleen - posted on 09/02/2010

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Everything will work out in the end. hormones will ake you feel glorious and terrified all at the same time. a little confusing, but between 3 and 6 weeks after you have the baby, you will be back to normal and will be able to make rational deisions. If he is really the person you explain in your post, then he loves you, remind yourself of that. every man IS NOT your father. Just because your dad left, is not a pre-cursor for your future. as for the baby, you are supposed to be a little scared, or even petrified. its part of the process. talk to your doctor about it, and she will reassure you, this is all natural. get some rest, in time, it will all be back to where it should be and you will have a beautiful baby to share this life with!

Nicole - posted on 08/27/2010

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yeah, i guess it's just exremely hard. the hormones just got really bad lately and it's just like you don't know what to do anymore. i jjust feel so disconnected from everything right now. i just want her to come so i can finally have her here, and so these hormones will settle down. its just so hard..

Victoria - posted on 08/26/2010

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Im am In the same Situations, From my Boyfriend To my daughter. Im pretty sure Ive done Hit the Baby blues And i hate thinking so negative but I really just cant help it, I didnt expect to have a baby at my age and ALL of a sudden bam its there and its like now what do i do. I know i will be a good mom but i havent even hit drinking age and really done all ive wanted. But i tell you what This is one thing i would never take back. I was told i couldnt have kids, but you know if this is the time i was suppose to have one then so be it. 5 Weeks and ill be holding her, if she doesnt come earlier due to complications myself. I know I can rely on my boyfriend and i do believe he wont leave us and I would have to say hormones do take the best of us. They have made me push people away and has also made our relationship alot harder but the more we get through it the stronger we grow. And when i realize im being rediculous I apologize over and over....then cry..haha they say hormones get worst towards the end and i strongly believe it... I hope everything starts easing up for you i know its hard. But im sure it will be wonderful once you have that beautiful baby.

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