Physco Bitch Ex Wife and the sister in law who hatesme....

Natalie - posted on 09/04/2011

I feel for you on the SIL, mine ignores our baby duaghter never bought her a birth gift, christmas gift, easter gift, etc, but she buys hugge expensive gifts(attemps to out do us) for his kids from his ex and we found out last week she's sent several presents to his ex's 4 week old daughter with the man she abandoned him and their children to be with, his ex actually has no connact with the children and only contacts him when shes bored and not getting enough attention with her poor me pity stories and then its all her bawling and bs.His family is the worst they constantly tell his 4 year old i'm not his mommy and that he cant call me mommy because they want her to come back and him leave me, they have taught him to yell in my 2 and 3 year old son's face that his daddy isnt anyone's daddy but his and they cant call him daddy(even though he's the only daddy they have ever had) and that he doesnt have to listen to me, I've physically watched her yell at this child that i hate him in front of me(in the middle of a store at that), it's caused so many problems in our relationship.

LaKesha - posted on 07/25/2011

This is such a familiar story to me!! My husband's children are now 23 and 20, but my "sister in law" has announced she and the "ex wife" are best friends again!! My husband can not understand this since the ex cheated and left him and at that time in his life, ruined it!! But my sister in law tells everyone her brother is perfectly okay with the relationship and she can get along with his ex wife and not his current wife...ME!! We have been married 16 years and she has NEVER liked me. And when I ask why, I am told I know what I did! Seriously, what grade are we in?!?!?! The ex wife and her new husband are ALWAYS with my sister in law. Constantly going on trips together, going out, or just cooking dinner for each other. The "sis in lawy" actually left her brother's 40th birthday party to go have dinner with the ex wife!! Who does these things? I am at my end and I KNOW I am going to blow soon. Why should I not have to go to family functions because the ex is there? And to top it off, my sis in law is married to my cousin so they are on both sides of my family!!! She and I did have a blow up about 3 yrs ago and she rarely speaks to me now nor my children, one of which is her Godchild. I would like to know when this will end!! I am almost 40 years old and sometimes it feels like I am in jr high. I do NOT think it is okay to be friends with your brothers ex and rub it in his face on a daily bases. What happened to family sticks together?? Enough is enough!

Vera - posted on 05/21/2011

Do you guys NOT have a set of court ordered visitation rights? If so you MUST follow those to the letter. If the court said that he is to pick up his child from her house at 8pm then that is what must be done. He is to show up at her house at 8 if the children aren’t there then he needs to return and file a police report (something about being in violation of court ordered visitation) It isn’t his job to run here and there to pick up the kids – she is just playing games with him and being lazy at best not to get them to where they are to be picked up. It’s completely another if she calls politely and says she is running about 5 minutes late but more than 15 minutes late or so is loss of visitation. If she asks him to get them for something she needs to do - the answer should always be – “I am to follow the courts orders and will pick them up Thursday at 8 as I was ordered, I am sorry you must make arrangements for the children to be cared for during your visitation times.”

It is best to have a witness (other than you) or a video camera and news paper – even a receipt for gum with date and time showing he went and couldn’t take the children. If it says he gets them on Christmas – she doesn’t get exceptions for visiting on a day or two – you need to remember most of these people acting like this are only nice when they need something then later they turn it around and use it against you. If he lets her have the kids during Christmas – it’s turned into – “well he didn’t want to deal with the kids for a few days” again I stress (not yelling) FOLLOW THE COURTS ORDERS DO NOT DEVIATE FROM THEM!!!!

I would recommend that neither of you answer the phone and simply let her leave messages. This way you can record them and keep them for proof. Then file another police report for a.) harassment – for calling, threatening, deformation of character, making false acquisitions etc… b.) assault by threat – that is when someone threatens to physically harm you verbally. Always keep a record of what is said, record conversations when you can (check your state law about recording but where I live as long as one person in the conversation knows it’s being recorded it is legal)

She has NO business in your house – if she shows up early she can stand outside the front door! What business does she have coming inside – none! When you answer the door or when he does simply answer the door, tell her “You may wait right here while I get the children, I will return in just a moment” close and lock the door and then let the children out at the correct time, if it’s freezing outside – she has a car to wait in! If she gets angry and starts acting out of control – grab your phone and record as much of it as you can – file a police report and then… explain to her that from now on she is not welcome in the house or on your property and any further visits to the house with out it being for strict pick up or drop off of the children for court orders will be considered stalking/harassment/and threats and file a police report and call the police.

It is pretty bad you have to go through all of this but remember… eventually the court will do something about it – sometimes they don’t – but after at 1000 reports of violence and refusal of visits etc they will see a pattern and if he is paying his support on time etc then they will do something about it. As for CPS have them send you in writing that they found you were innocent and it was a false claim and that it was removed from the records.

Unless you are doing something against the law she is and can not limit what you can do on your visits. If you go to the river for some fun and are safe about it then there isn’t anything anyone can do. In the USA you can smoke around children it isn’t against the law (but super bad wouldn’t do it!) but again it is showing how petty she is and how petty she has become to try to put her thumb over you. WHY CARE?? Don’t and live your life with out her – she is the ex remember that!!! She is an ex for a reason.

As for the sister in law, some people are just like that and there isn’t anything you can do about it. Why stress yourself out over someone who is clearly trying to hurt you by using his ex and acting all chummy with her. And as a fore note since they are so close it is likely correct that they are very similar – so taking that into account wouldn’t want to make best friends anyway. That sister you are trying to befriend will probably use anything you or he does with the children and tattle creating more problems for you.

As for family functions – have you not thought to speak to your husband in an adult manner and tell him you aren’t comfortable and that maybe as a family you will start skipping any family get togethers even with the children (if you have them) If the ex shows up or is spoken about? It may seem a little immature but if you and he are truly that uncomfortable and she is causing that many problems why go? I wouldn’t! Not every family cares about the best for their children. The best would be to stay away from the poison.

And maybe sit down with the mother in law and explain that from now on she is not welcome at your house or around you. Clearly she has a mental problem that needs to be addressed and you are not going to help encourage her mental outbreaks by showing up at family functions when she is present. Simply tell her that you and your husband have discussed this and yes, she must make a choice him or her.

If the parents can’t see that it is harming you and the children just remember there is nothing set in law that their aunt or grand parents must see them. The best thing to do for any child is to have them around the best possible environment and people and if they can’t control themselves then so be it. Unstress yourself – stay away from the stress and focus on your marriage and the kids being in a better happier environment! They are only dragging you down and you are falling into their web of discontent.

Christina - posted on 05/21/2011

Um, if y'all keep going back to court, then why hasn't your stepdaughter gotten taken away from the mom yet for parental alienation? Look into that.
Also, it is very simple, DO NOT ANSWER THE PHONE! If she leaves a threatening message on your voicemail or answering machine, yay for you because it can be used in court (since she knowingly allowed her voice to be recorded.) You don't have to answer the phone. And if she shows up at your doorstep because she is mad you won't answer the phone, call the cops.

Shay - posted on 05/20/2011

I think your hubbys ex may be related to my hubbys ex cuz that sure sounds like a day to day account for what I go throu! I feel your pain women truly I do! There have been days where I could just drag her to my car and take her off somewhere....but I keep tellin myself for the love of my husband and his 3 kids with her I cant be that way. Im poliet as I can be and bite my tongue til it bleeds on some days. AND THAT NO LIE! We are always fighting off some new pettion on us from her. From child abuse to sexual child abuse to our dog/cat. Shes blamed us for having kids around smoking or by the river for gods sake. If its not one petty thing its another. I could post the countless evil insane things she says about me on facebook alone that would have you sayin this chick needs therapy! And honestly i think she does. Before i came into the picture she didnt have shit to do with her kids or my husband. Once he got with me she flipped the hell out. now she posts hundreds of pic of her and the kids constantly...mind you she might have had 10 at best when me and him started talkin. Now she takes them to public places daily to show off her mommie skills. Yet sits at home jobless, collecting all the state aid she can and ohhh dont forget half of my husbands paycheck. And every time I come into money or get a big sale at my job shes sniffin at my door wanting more. We had to pick up and drop off the kids daily for over a year cuz she never had gas to get her own kids. Hell she didnt even have them outside of my husbands job hours til the courts gave her residental custody. I was like WHAT! But courts favor BIO MOMS over dads so now as it sits where at back in court again to try and get the kids out of the home she stays in. Shes a 27 yr old unemployeed BLANK that lives with her parents and her mentally retarded brother ( i say that with respect now) who all are a bunch of hoarders. I have pictures of their home. Its disgusting. I have even had to call DCFS but as long as she plays poor pity me people keep falling for her shit and no one even attempts to stop her from her daily attacks. So when I say I understand your situation I DO!