What's up with all the free-floating hostility on this site???

Di - posted on 06/22/2009

Glad you really appreciated it Sara, and technically we weren't arguing, it was more like loud debating....he he he. Yeh I find myself just having to look when someone else is doing the same thing, its like a car accident, you cant help but look hey. Truly I am glad that its now sorted and we can get back on with life much happier and without the antagonism. Great for me anyway.

Sara - posted on 06/22/2009

I find it funny that everytime someone starts a thread about how some people get hostile/treat others on CoM's it eventually turns into an argument. Glad you all could work out your issues. I would be lying if I said it wasn't entertaining!

Mary - posted on 06/18/2009

Apologies appreciated and accepted. Glad something good could come of this! :)

Rebecca - posted on 06/18/2009

i have seen 1st hand what u ladies are talking about and agree with Heidi here... as well some one said something and i commented on tantrums and they wanted to know what they should do so i posted?and one mom said a tap on the bum or leg should work . im thinking that doesnt always work for a child so i posted spanking isnt always the answer to it ... and i get accused of saying hitting? okay now definatly a control issue with some of them i think some are fruity too. i hate to say that but wow! hostility !

Di - posted on 06/17/2009

I want to thank each and everyone of you for putting up with the disagreement that has been between Heidi and myself in this thread. Thank you for allowing us to debate our issues so that we can at last have some resolution. This has been ongoing for sometime and finally I think we can put it to rest. I would have been happy to do it privately by pm but what do you do if by doing that, you get more accusations of harassing someone? Before you judge us, please take in to consideration that there is a whole lot more to this situation then what you have seen. I apologise if I have offended anyone. I did not set out with that intention. On a huge level, thank you for posting this topic Mary, it opened the gate to put to bed a situation that wouldn't have gone away probably any other way. Once again I apologise to all I have offended.

Leaha - posted on 06/17/2009

Quoting Mary:

Quoting Katie:

I completely agree with you, Mary! I also do not like it when people bring up a personal matter in a public forum. It causes others to form opinions about the people involved before getting to know them on our own.

LMAO....I'm choosing to interpret this as a commentary on other posts, in which case, I have to commend you on a point well made!

Yes, very good point. But I'm afraid that it falls on deaf ears.. Many people have tried to get the ''personal issue'' brought up here to stop, but it hasn't. It just keeps getting worse. Which is sad, because, the few friends I have made on here keep getting sucked into the drama, and I personally am sick of that drama, but can't escape it because of the harrasment being felt by those friends. It seems to be a never ending battle.

Mary - posted on 06/17/2009

Quoting Katie:

I completely agree with you, Mary! I also do not like it when people bring up a personal matter in a public forum. It causes others to form opinions about the people involved before getting to know them on our own.

LMAO....I'm choosing to interpret this as a commentary on other posts, in which case, I have to commend you on a point well made!

Di - posted on 06/17/2009

Quoting Heidi:

Well then Di from now on I will use the term some of the women in that particular group. I will openlly apologize to you for saying the group women. You are right its not the entire group, it is a few of the people in your group. Hope this can clear the air. Enjoy your day!

Thanks Heidi, I appreciate it.

Di - posted on 06/17/2009

Quoting Heidi:

Well then Di from now on I will use the term some of the women in that particular group. I will openlly apologize to you for saying the group women. You are right its not the entire group, it is a few of the people in your group. Hope this can clear the air. Enjoy your day!

Thanks Heidi, I appreciate it.

Katie - posted on 06/16/2009

I completely agree with you, Mary! I also do not like it when people bring up a personal matter in a public forum. It causes others to form opinions about the people involved before getting to know them on our own.

Heidi - posted on 06/16/2009

Well then Di from now on I will use the term some of the women in that particular group. I will openlly apologize to you for saying the group women. You are right its not the entire group, it is a few of the people in your group. Hope this can clear the air. Enjoy your day!

Di - posted on 06/15/2009

If you truly do respect me as a person, then please acknowledge my individuality. Yes I am friends with a group of women but that doesn't mean that what they choose to do, that I will do or choose to do. You concentrate on a small portion of the people and never look at it and think it could be much worse because all of them could do it. I make choices not to engage in the behaviour you describe and the thanks I get from you for not harassing you, pm'ing you, writing on your wall etc etc, is to be publically accused of doing so. Here is a simple solution Heidi, when you talk about your harassment add the word some. Some of the group do blah blah. By the use of one little word, it changes the whole statement and acknowledges where people have chosen a different path. Thats my beef. Because when you use blanket statements I feel the need to defend myself, just as you say you just defend yourself. I have never denied that what you say happens has happened. What I have always denied is that you included me as one of the people that was doing it.

Heidi - posted on 06/15/2009

I have no trouble understanding anything. I am a very smart person. You guys are a group whether you want to admit it or not. Its a none fact to several people. So whether its only 3 or 4 sending pm's or all of you, it still people part of group. Eitehr way let it go already. Whats done is done. I didn't say you blocked me and unbocked me, but someone in gorup does it on a regular basis. It doesn't matter to me because I don't even post on there anymore. So if you have a problem with me then its something you have to deal with on your own rather then dragging other people into all the time. IF you have something to say to me then say it to me. I have taken some of the advice you have given me to heart, and some of it not so much. I respect you as a person, and the good advice you give, but this has to stop at some point and time. So again I will say it let it go....

Di - posted on 06/15/2009

Quoting Heidi:

They have blocked me and unblocked me sooooo many times its pathetic. I don't block them from any forums, mind you I have reported them several times for harassment. I don't post on CoM, because they aren't worth my time. They can chat there or on there private hate forum or anywhere else I don't care. When I write on these forums unlike them I don't usually use names, but they do. They seem to want to have there little group grow, but it doesn't look like it has. So not everyone agrees with what they have to say , just like not everyone will agree with what I have to say. Some people are just naturally hostile and enjoy there life like that. I am glad I have a very happy fullfilling life.

Please stop using blanket statements when describing this group. Once again you have done so by the use of the word They. It implies that the whole 7 of us did it. Last time I looked I was only a member and have no such power to do so. So all I am asking you to do is to stop using blanket terms when describing what some members in the group do. The same as when you describe that the group have pm'd you yet I never have and neither has Debbie, so there is two members that aren't doing what you say the group is. What is it about this request that you have so much trouble understanding?

Heidi - posted on 06/15/2009

Well sad again Fran!!! Someone needs to put her in her place. She and some of the others need a real wake up call. There is no reason for her to keep bringing up the past, but she does. I was invited to join CoM whether she or the others believe it or not. They have blocked me and unblocked me sooooo many times its pathetic. I don't block them from any forums, mind you I have reported them several times for harassment. I don't post on CoM, because they aren't worth my time. They can chat there or on there private hate forum or anywhere else I don't care. When I write on these forums unlike them I don't usually use names, but they do. They seem to want to have there little group grow, but it doesn't look like it has. So not everyone agrees with what they have to say , just like not everyone will agree with what I have to say. Some people are just naturally hostile and enjoy there life like that. I am glad I have a very happy fullfilling life.

Francesca - posted on 06/15/2009

Quoting Di:

I told you before but you obviously weren't listening. I have NO desire and I will NOT go to read what is written in bio v Step. I don't care! The name of the group is one of the reasons. Versus come on, take a good look at how that comes across. Its interesting to me that as soon as the truth comes out, how you want to remove me to where no one can see. Why is that? Are you scared of the truth? Are you scared of others knowing the truth? The funny thing is Francesca, you came into this long after it was started and make a judgement on the truth from what you now see. Imagine how you would feel if you set up a group for support on here and next minute your bm joined it. Would you feel a bit harassed by that? I know I would. Fair enough all the other groups where its coincidental that you overlap. Like you and me seem to appear in a lot of the same groups. But CoM Friends was set up by Jaime and us so that we could support Jaime without the harassment. Then as well as Heidi joining that she encouraged her support crew to join as well. Wouldn't that be nice if your bm did that, not only joined your group but brought her friends into it? When that forum was first started Leaha and I got pm's from Heidi. Not that we sent them, but she disagreed with what we had written. Now imagine that Francesca, your support group gets harassed when they support you. Every single one of us is different. Some of us have more tolerance then others. So everyone reacts in different ways to the same situation. Some of the members have reacted differently to what I would. They have done things that I wouldn't. So to blanketly accuse me because I am in that group of doing these things, when a) I haven't and b) I wouldn't is disrespectful. Cant you see that you complain and accuse us of the very things you are doing? That is called hypocrisy Francesca.

BTW, the posting that I made in CoM Friends about my frustration with having to deal with someone who point blank denies that she has written in a particular forum when there is adequate proof that she has, is what I was referring to. If you are doing the same with your bm then I can understand her frustration and if I had to deal with it on a regular basis, then I would feel the desire to slap you too. I never said it was the right thing for her to do, I only meant that I can understand what drove her to it. If you didn't post in that forum anymore Francesca, then why were you looking in it? I also stated that it was my rant or rave or vent, so I was doing nothing other then expressing my frustration at your ability to disregard the truth. The group does say its a place to vent and being amongst friends was a better option then in a large group like this. The title of that group does state "A group for all the Mom's who have become friends from Circle of Mom's A place to vent, obtain advice, and get to know each one a little bit better!!!" so that is a great place for me to vent isn't it! Why do you bother to read it, in fact why are you still a member of the group?

Dont wish to remove you out of sight of others but with respect for the person who started the post to do it else where. or even make your own post on here, as its for venting. i would really love to know what you think i would cover up?? i have always said i came into this later then the rest and felt certain people (i did not say names) were being quite harsh to heidi. what wrong with saying that? then because i said a comment i got bashed and that made me think if this certain person starts on me for saying my opinon then i know how heidi must feel. i have never said it was one sided i said their as bad as one another.

if jaime started a group for support just like you say why have it as open?? she still now could change it to private. have me or heidi wrote on that forum lately???NO. has jaime wrote on heidis forum???YES  but the thing is we dont care because its an open group, we have private group so we can talk about people like you and obtain advice from one another without wondering eyes.if my bm was on so be it i cant stop her and to be honest i think she is. i tell the truth at all times and if i want to say something that would afend her in any way i do it in a private group.oh and heidi did not get me to join CoMs i chose to do that myself, i have my own mind. what am i doing??? we havent done anything wrong and this is the last time i am saying this.....

you should never asume as that sort of stuff can get you into trouble. it was a very nasty thing to say, even if it was on CoM, i was still a member. the truth???? thats all you ever go on about. i never lie about what i write on here, why would i?what would it gain? NOTHING.

so please stop bringing everything up from the past and move on. and actually grow up.

Francesca - posted on 06/15/2009

Quoting Di:

I told you before but you obviously weren't listening. I have NO desire and I will NOT go to read what is written in bio v Step. I don't care! The name of the group is one of the reasons. Versus come on, take a good look at how that comes across. Its interesting to me that as soon as the truth comes out, how you want to remove me to where no one can see. Why is that? Are you scared of the truth? Are you scared of others knowing the truth? The funny thing is Francesca, you came into this long after it was started and make a judgement on the truth from what you now see. Imagine how you would feel if you set up a group for support on here and next minute your bm joined it. Would you feel a bit harassed by that? I know I would. Fair enough all the other groups where its coincidental that you overlap. Like you and me seem to appear in a lot of the same groups. But CoM Friends was set up by Jaime and us so that we could support Jaime without the harassment. Then as well as Heidi joining that she encouraged her support crew to join as well. Wouldn't that be nice if your bm did that, not only joined your group but brought her friends into it? When that forum was first started Leaha and I got pm's from Heidi. Not that we sent them, but she disagreed with what we had written. Now imagine that Francesca, your support group gets harassed when they support you. Every single one of us is different. Some of us have more tolerance then others. So everyone reacts in different ways to the same situation. Some of the members have reacted differently to what I would. They have done things that I wouldn't. So to blanketly accuse me because I am in that group of doing these things, when a) I haven't and b) I wouldn't is disrespectful. Cant you see that you complain and accuse us of the very things you are doing? That is called hypocrisy Francesca.

BTW, the posting that I made in CoM Friends about my frustration with having to deal with someone who point blank denies that she has written in a particular forum when there is adequate proof that she has, is what I was referring to. If you are doing the same with your bm then I can understand her frustration and if I had to deal with it on a regular basis, then I would feel the desire to slap you too. I never said it was the right thing for her to do, I only meant that I can understand what drove her to it. If you didn't post in that forum anymore Francesca, then why were you looking in it? I also stated that it was my rant or rave or vent, so I was doing nothing other then expressing my frustration at your ability to disregard the truth. The group does say its a place to vent and being amongst friends was a better option then in a large group like this. The title of that group does state "A group for all the Mom's who have become friends from Circle of Mom's A place to vent, obtain advice, and get to know each one a little bit better!!!" so that is a great place for me to vent isn't it! Why do you bother to read it, in fact why are you still a member of the group?

Dont wish to remove you out of sight of others but with respect for the person who started the post to do it else where. or even make your own post on here, as its for venting. i would really love to know what you think i would cover up?? i have always said i came into this later then the rest and felt certain people (i did not say names) were being quite harsh to heidi. what wrong with saying that? then because i said a comment i got bashed and that made me think if this certain person starts on me for saying my opinon then i know how heidi must feel. i have never said it was one sided i said their as bad as one another.

if jaime started a group for support just like you say why have it as open?? she still now could change it to private. have me or heidi wrote on that forum lately???NO. has jaime wrote on heidis forum???YES  but the thing is we dont care because its an open group, we have private group so we can talk about people like you and obtain advice from one another without wondering eyes.if my bm was on so be it i cant stop her and to be honest i think she is. i tell the truth at all times and if i want to say something that would afend her in any way i do it in a private group.oh and heidi did not get me to join CoMs i chose to do that myself, i have my own mind. what am i doing??? we havent done anything wrong and this is the last time i am saying this.....

you should never asume as that sort of stuff can get you into trouble. it was a very nasty thing to say, even if it was on CoM, i was still a member. the truth???? thats all you ever go on about. i never lie about what i write on here, why would i?what would it gain? NOTHING.

so please stop bringing everything up from the past and move on. and actually grow up.

Sarah - posted on 06/15/2009

Hello Mary.
i must admit, i do like the debates that come up COM, and have been involved in a few!! however, i do try not to resort to name calling and swearing. i think there's been one instance where perhaps i've argued a little too much on a thread back and forth with someone, some people told me i was being a little rude, so i sent out apologies and that was that.
i don't think you have to get abusive with people to get your point across, but i do see how sometimes people feel so passionately about something that they get caught up in the heat of the moment.
anyway, hopefully, people on here can learn to get along, it's supposed to be circle of mom's not hierarchy of mom's! haha!! :)

Di - posted on 06/14/2009

I told you before but you obviously weren't listening. I have NO desire and I will NOT go to read what is written in bio v Step. I don't care! The name of the group is one of the reasons. Versus come on, take a good look at how that comes across. Its interesting to me that as soon as the truth comes out, how you want to remove me to where no one can see. Why is that? Are you scared of the truth? Are you scared of others knowing the truth? The funny thing is Francesca, you came into this long after it was started and make a judgement on the truth from what you now see. Imagine how you would feel if you set up a group for support on here and next minute your bm joined it. Would you feel a bit harassed by that? I know I would. Fair enough all the other groups where its coincidental that you overlap. Like you and me seem to appear in a lot of the same groups. But CoM Friends was set up by Jaime and us so that we could support Jaime without the harassment. Then as well as Heidi joining that she encouraged her support crew to join as well. Wouldn't that be nice if your bm did that, not only joined your group but brought her friends into it? When that forum was first started Leaha and I got pm's from Heidi. Not that we sent them, but she disagreed with what we had written. Now imagine that Francesca, your support group gets harassed when they support you. Every single one of us is different. Some of us have more tolerance then others. So everyone reacts in different ways to the same situation. Some of the members have reacted differently to what I would. They have done things that I wouldn't. So to blanketly accuse me because I am in that group of doing these things, when a) I haven't and b) I wouldn't is disrespectful. Cant you see that you complain and accuse us of the very things you are doing? That is called hypocrisy Francesca.



BTW, the posting that I made in CoM Friends about my frustration with having to deal with someone who point blank denies that she has written in a particular forum when there is adequate proof that she has, is what I was referring to. If you are doing the same with your bm then I can understand her frustration and if I had to deal with it on a regular basis, then I would feel the desire to slap you too. I never said it was the right thing for her to do, I only meant that I can understand what drove her to it. If you didn't post in that forum anymore Francesca, then why were you looking in it? I also stated that it was my rant or rave or vent, so I was doing nothing other then expressing my frustration at your ability to disregard the truth. The group does say its a place to vent and being amongst friends was a better option then in a large group like this. The title of that group does state "A group for all the Mom's who have become friends from Circle of Mom's A place to vent, obtain advice, and get to know each one a little bit better!!!" so that is a great place for me to vent isn't it! Why do you bother to read it, in fact why are you still a member of the group?

Francesca - posted on 06/14/2009

go to bio vs step as its not fair on mary, but if you still choose to write here thats fine. my reply is on there anyway

Debbie - posted on 06/14/2009

Hi, Mary, I appologise in advance for this. I am one of the "group" that Heidi and Fran talk about. I mostly have sat back and not said alot at all, yet like Di says, in using the blanket phrase for us it gives us a bad name for doing nothing wrong. I am also one of the ones that have never pm Heidi, nor have I ever recieved one. Heidi, I believe, is her own worst enemy, she accuses "us" for doing the very same thing she does. Yes it does go around and around, we will stop having anything to do with anything that Heidi or Fran say/do, yet they still have to have a dig, I read Di's post earlier and most of it didnt refer to that stuff, just the pm's, that has happened between all of us at all, yet Heidi had to come in and make it about all that. So again here we go, defending ourselves. Personally I have had enough of the rubbish, every post Heidi responds to, be it anything we have started or someone entirely different, I feel that Heidi has to revert back to the SM in her situation and the so called posse as she calls us. Heidi and Fran wake up and realise that you are contributing factors in this, as the saying goes "it takes two to tango" however you look at it we are not the only ones that are responsible.

Heidi - posted on 06/14/2009

Thank you Fran! You said everything honestly and truthfully. You are a saint! I won't be posting on this convrsation anymore, since I have been accused of following a certain someone, which I am NOT. I have better things to do with my time then to be harassed by her.

So sorry Mary. I know what you were trying to say, and it started again on here. Some people just can't let things go. I guess they enjoy on dwelling in the past. Hope you are all having a great day though. I am going swimming with my boys and then off to a first communion for 2 of my nephews. So enjoy what is left of your day as mine is only beginning!

Francesca - posted on 06/14/2009

ok then thats your choice!!! i was saying that if you take a look you will see who has been writting on the bm's forum, ie the sm. you say that the bm joined the sms forum, well both as bad as each other, but the bm has NOT wrote on that forum for a while yet the sm has. you like painting Heidi out to be a bad person i dont see it, she does her best for her son. yes i agree things have been said in the PAST, and you are just as bad. i dont judge anyone but when you wrote what you said about me that was nasty!!!

you think what jaime wrote was being nice, yea good one!!! to me that is stiring up rubbish, what we write in our private group is our business and if we want to slag off anyone or debat about something then we can. we dont care if anyone has copied it and sent it to jaime im just saying that she still has to keep pm'ing heidi after she has asked her not to.lies lies lies!!!!??? what lies? thats all you ever go on about, you wouldn't know the truth if it bit you on the ass!!!

very sorry mary about this as its obviously something that you hate, people arguing.

but i need to say my bit

Di - posted on 06/14/2009

Excuse me Francesca, but I have no desire to know what is written in Bio vs Step. I only ever went there to repudiate the same lies that are still being told here. I have even less desire to re-join the group. As to what the sm does or doesn't do, how is that my responsibility? How do you justify that someone else has told Jaime what is being written in your private group as anything to do with our group? Is there any of our group in that private group? How is that us starting anything when its someone obviously from your private group that is passing on the information to Jaime in the first place? Isn't that nice of Jaime to let Heidi know that her private group isn't so private and she is warning Heidi of that. Sorry Francesca, but as to what is and isn't respectful, you are in no position to judge. I haven't disrespected Mary by coming in here and posting lies and misinformation. That would be others, and I was just trying to get to the truth. Last I looked this is a forum called 'Want to vent'. Well that is what I am doing now, I am venting.

Francesca - posted on 06/14/2009

well i think its about time you leave it alone then this is marys question which actually i wrote on first before you, but who actually cares. the past is the past yes!!! but lately and if you take a little look at bio vs step you will see that yet again the sm decided to write on the bm's forum and this is the present. you also have said some nasty things bacause i was defending someone i thought was getting bullied by alot of women. and yes you were one of them. also the sm has decided to tell the bm about our PRIVATE group and what someone has told her what has been written. now if thats not starting something i dont know what it is.

if you decide to write something again i would think thats it respectful to mary that you write it on bio vs step as im am sure she does not want it here, thank you

Di - posted on 06/14/2009

Heidi, I posted on this conversation before you did so please have a good look. Are you following me around or something? I did respond to Mary's question, earlier on, and suddenly here you are telling your woe is me tale trying to gain sympathy for something you yourself started. Tell me Heidi, you might not have posted on CoM Friends lately but have you ever? The answer there would be yes wouldn't it? That's Jaime's group that she started isn't it? And yet you went in there posting anyway. Why?You have this habit of telling anyone that will listen how you have been victimised but fail to say how it all came about. It came about when you joined that group and would not respect Jaime enough to just leave it alone and let go. Once again, I have to correct the misinformation you are posting. I am one of the group that you say pm's you. Have I ever pm'd you? But you have me haven't you? Over what, my opinion. So please don't come here trying to cloud the truth. I am not responsible for what the people I associate with do, so please stop using the blanket statements about what that group does. Just tell the truth Heidi. Please be honest with everyone here. O and just for the record I don't look at what you write anywhere Heidi, unless I wish to comment on the question and you happen to be in it. If others feel the need to look then that is between you and them. If I get told that anyone has stated untruths when they are concern me, then I have the right to try and set the record straight. Your blanket statements about what our group does need to be looked at as I have never done what you claim our group does so please stop saying that the group is harassing you, because I certainly am not. If you choose to write untruths to misinform people then don't be too surprised if someone tries to set the record clear. You didn't get me before when I said I am sick of the rubbish. So I will state it very clearly for you. I am sick of the rubbish and lies that you post about our group. Thats what I a sick of.

Heidi - posted on 06/14/2009

And here you go again. I wasn' t talking to you. I was talking to Mary. Letting her know some of what is going on. Messages that have been sent to me privately have been posted on a forum so people can see what I am talking about, but here you go Di blaming me. I for one have not been involved in your groups conversations for quite some time now, but your group seems to find a way to join in on our conversations. Why do you guys do that? Also have you seen me post anything on CoM? No you have not because I really have nothing more to say to any of you. So why do you guys always find the need to look for what I am writing and put your cents worth in? Just a question. Why are some of group members in forums myself or one of my friends has started? Its a double edge sword now isn't it.

So as you can see Mary I didn't start this. I only responded to what you wrote as did other people, but certain people have to pin point what has happened in the past months ago. They just keep going and won't let it go.

Although I do have to admit that in the past Di has given some good advice to me and others. You just have to watch what you say and who you say it to because in the end the truth will come out.

And Di if you are sick to death over all the rubbish, then why post a response to what I wrote? It was a question that Mary had asked, and as soon as I responded you have to respond to only what I wrote.

Di - posted on 06/14/2009

Gee how terrible for you Heidi and you didn't do anything to deserve it? I know the group of women you mean. There is actually 7 of them, but I know for a fact that one of them hasn't ever pm'd you, but you have pm'd her more then once. I know for a fact that you were the aggressor in that case and continually pm'd her over what was her opinion. You continually accuse this group of harassing you with pm's but never acknowledge it isn't all of them and never acknowledge that you have yourself done what you accuse them of doing. I have also witnessed the antagonism that is between you and your sm and both of you should leave it else where and not use one of the forums as your personal battle field. As to leaving messages on walls well I would think that you know all about that, as I believe you have been doing that for a long time haven't you? I think it would be wise for you to look at your own behaviour in this and see that everything you accuse us of doing, you have done also. The biggest question I have is just why you would join a group that was set up by the sm in your case? If she is the one harassing you, why would you put yourself in that position? Surely if you were being harassed as you say you were, then it would be a foolish thing to do, wouldn't it? Sorry, but the harassment was started by you Heidi, so to come here now and complain about what has happened is a bit hypocritical isn't it? I am sorry to all the other mums here but I have heard this same piece of rubbish over and over and I am sick to death of it.

Heidi - posted on 06/13/2009

Well I have also been bashed on here to. There is a group of women on here(about 6 of them) if you don't agree with what they have to say then they will send you pm's, leave messages on your walls, or participate in conversations you are in. I think its a control thing for them, because the 6 of them group together and attack. These forums are for info and help, and advice, and yes sometimes people can get harsh and speak there minds, but like Fran sad there are ways to go about it. That group of women some of them have called me several nasty names, and of course I will stick up for myself, but lately the pm's I get(other then from the sm in my situation) I ignore, any comments or nasty remarks they write about me I also ignore. They aren't worth my time at all. So if some people are harassing you or your friends, report them, thats what I do!

Francesca - posted on 06/13/2009

i have also been bashed for sticking up for someone i felt was getting harsh treatment, it was actually by the sm and her friends. one girl got very agressive. luckily for us we havent heard from her in a while. i've been pm'd quite a few times and also had a post written about me saying that " i can see why she got slapped" how nasty to say such a thing. no one deserves that.

anyway mary hopefully things will calm down now, both on COMs forum and stepmoms forum now that its out of everyones system

Di - posted on 06/13/2009

I agree absolutely with you Mary. I can remember one time when the topic was the lovely controversial one of spanking or not and the absolute rudeness from both sides was atrocious. I posted that regardless of what side you stand on there was no need for name calling and attacks pretty much using the same logic that you have used. It fell on deaf ears. I think some ppl out there don't realise that common courtesy and respect should be more important here, because you are only dealing with words and ppl can take them in whatever tone they like. I have seen a woman get abused over the misunderstanding from one mother, when in reality the woman had done nothing but state her opinion and the grief she received was far out of proportion to what she had written. Ppl come to this forum with their own agendas and its sad that the word respect gets forgotten. Interestingly enough there was once a discussion about abortion and I thought that it would get very heated, but it was extremely polite and respectful. Some topics are just going to be too controversial and will always end up a battle of words. All we are doing here is giving our opinions and to be harassed because of them is just plain disgusting behaviour. I have been pm'd over some of my opinions by a lady on here and even though I never personally responded to her back, I think that sort of behaviour is reprehensible. Unfortunately what can you do about it? I know of other ppl who have some sort of nasty personal relationship off computer and they use the forum to attack each other. Yet other cases of stalking.... Sad isnt it? The computer sort of gives them some way of hiding I think.

JOYCE - posted on 06/12/2009

WELL SOME PEOPLE JUS DON'T NO HOW 2 EXPRESS THEMSELVES WITHOUT FOUL LANGUAGE YEA WERE UPSET N THIS IS I WANT 2 VENT BUT LADIES LET'S PLEASE CLEAN IT UP A LITTLE WE CAN STILL GET OUR POINT ACROSS WITH OUT THE LOOSE LIPS THANK YOU

JOYCE - posted on 06/12/2009

Quoting Mary:

What's up with all the free-floating hostility on this site???

Ok, I've lately taken the time to read some of the ongoing threads on here, and have been both amazed and APPALLED at some of the outright nastiness, judgement & anger some moms have expressed, on a variety of topics. Overall, I find that most of us try to be helpful, offering suggestions about what we have found works for us & our little ones, but some moms on here are way over the top!! Really, there is no need for some of the mean, foul- languaged responses that some of the nut jobs on here post. I'm guessing it is their way of blowing off steam or making themselves feel better about the choices they have made, but really....

Motherhood is NOT a competitive sport....No single one of us is absolutely right on any given topic; what works for me and my child will not necessarily be what is best for yours. We need to respect each others decisions, choices & opinions. I do not live in your shoes, and therefore have no right to judge you. We may disagree wtih each other, but it does not need to become a heated, hateful exchange of insults. Honestly, you lose any credibility you may have had when resort to such childish forms of expressing yourself.

We, as women, and mothers, should be supporting each other, open to the differences amongst us, and hopefully learning from one another's successes and mistakes. None of us are perfect, just trying to do the very best for our children AND ourselves. If I post a question on here, I'm looking for a different point of view, or some helpful suggestions....NOT a sermon, lecture or judgement, and most certainly not trying to incite some heated debate that devolves into name-calling & obscenities that are off the topic to begin with.

Thanks for listening!

Francesca - posted on 06/11/2009

i agree there are ways to say their opinons in a much nicer manor, yesterday i was sooooo shocked of how a women spoke, the language was disgraceful. yes she might of been angry but that is no excuse in my eyes.

no women has the same parenting skills, we are all different in many ways. if we choose to bottle feed thats our choice, if some people dont like mums who have there babies cio thats fine say your opinon but think of others before typing.

i have been in the middle of some discussions and find myself not agreeing with some mums i.e one girl chooses to smack her baby girl on the tummy, i didn't agree found it wrong but even though i said it in a manor that was not criticizen , this mum got very nasty and got abusive.

things can be taken wrong when you are not face to face.

Sara - posted on 06/11/2009

I totally agree. I will admit that I have gotten into pointless arguments with people on COM's. I've learned to just walk away, most of the time, from that kind of stuff. What I really hate is when people are talking about something like sleep training, and try and tell you that you are a bad mom and damaging/abusing your child. Who are they to say that? I wish people were nicer. I swear, I belong to the Political Discussion Group and we have more respectful conversations with eachother about politics than a lot of other women do talking about breastfeeding versus bottlefeeding.

Sara - posted on 06/11/2009

I totally agree. I will admit that I have gotten into pointless arguments with people on COM's. I've learned to just walk away, most of the time, from that kind of stuff. What I really hate is when people are talking about something like sleep training, and try and tell you that you are a bad mom and damaging/abusing your child. Who are they to say that? I wish people were nicer. I swear, I belong to the Political Discussion Group and we have more respectful conversations with eachother about politics than a lot of other women do talking about breastfeeding versus bottlefeeding.