Heidi - posted on 07/02/2009 ( 26 moms have responded )
Well here is the situation that I had to deal with last night when my ex didn't call his son AGAIN. My son is 10 and he knows the days of the week and he can tell time. So last night was suppose to be a phone call day for the bio dad and surprise surprise he didn't call again. That happens quite often. So my son can have a temper just like his bio dad and he had one of his melt downs. He started off by saying "Why didn't daddy call me again?" I don't have an answer to that, he asked" why doesn't daddy love me like he loves my sisters"(he has 3 daughters with his wife) , and he wanted to know what he did to be treated this way. My son rarely sees his father(only twice last year) the excuse from the dad is always, I am busy. Who would say that to a child. No one can be that busy not to see there only son. It drives me nuts. This has been going on for almost 10 years now. I left my ex when my son was 8 months old. Sure at first he would come and visit, but when my son was 2 and the first sister was born the visits came less, and when sister 2 and 3 came along even less. I could never understand why a parent would treat there kids differently. Its not fair. The kids should be treated as equals, whether they live in the same house or not. Anyway back to my story...after my son gets started on one of his meltdowns it won't stop for quite some time. He can go on and on and on. At one point and time he called his bio dad a f!*^ing jerk. Why would he say that? I certainly don't say that and neither does my husband. He then proceeded to tell me that he hates his dad. I tried talking to my son about what he had said, and all he could do was yell at me. I had to walk away from him because he started throwing things and ranting and raving. I have never seen a child act this way before. Could he have that much anger built up inside of him, and when he is ready to snap he lets it all out on me. I am the one that is here for him day in and day out. I am the one that is here for him when his dad doesn't show up, I am always here for him. The thing is my son can be the nicest sweetest boy there is, but when his father doesn't visit months and months, and doesn't call when he is suppose to I get the brunt of his anger. Why on earth would a child do this to the parent that is always there for them and not the absent parent? I just don't understand it.
So my question is what should I do? Should I call the dad out on all of this and tell him to stand up and be a man and take some responsibilty for his son and his actions or do I let it be and act as if he doesn't exsist? There have been times in the past where I have tried talking to the dad, but I a might as well talk to a brick wall because I would get more response. Its been a while since I have asked the bio dad when are you going to come and visit, because all I get is " I will see what I can do" or he will say soon and months will go by before my son sees his bio dad. Its not fair to my son for his dad to treat him the way that he does. Its his son and he should be here byweekly like he is suppose to, and he should call his son when he is suppose to, but he doesn't.
So any ideas or suggestion would be greatly appreciated, but I am not looking for a fight or an argument, I have had enough of those with the stepmom in my case. Just some honesty is all I ask.